The very last resort....

[poshBecks]

Has anyone else ever had to do this?

We have tried absolutely everything!!! Nothing works. Connor just wont do a poo on the toilet.

For the past 3 poos I have made him clean it up himself. I supervise, but he does the wiping etc :barf: It's gross, but I have no idea what else to do...

Has anyone else done this? Does it work? How long do you think it will take?

For the record, he is 3.5..... :rolleyes: My stubborn child!!

[IAdoreYou]

No ideas ... just wanted to do this for you though :hair: ;)

BUMP .. goodluck - the joys of PT!!

[themumbug]

No there is no way i would do this to my child, alls you need to know is that no one walks down the isle still wearing nappies do they. Just be supportive of him otherwise you are only going to make him anxious and it will take longer gor him, to go.

[IAdoreYou]

me again ... is there a reason why?? just stubborn?

I remember when Brooke started trying to poo in the potty .. this was AGES ago though, I used to tell her "its so much easier sitting when pooing, I'd just say that over and over and over and over and she was about 20mths and she was constipated this day and finally sat on the potty ( was not PT at al then ) just getting her used to sitting on the potty etc and she sat on it and had confidence in me " in her" and did a POO .. it was a fluke poo and when she realised she was doing a poo she stood up and half the poo went into the potty and the rest landed on the floor, but, she was excited.

I would jsut encourage as well ... it will happen, stay confident and don't let him see you frustrated!

[poshBecks]

ust be supportive of him otherwise you are only going to make him anxious and it will take longer gor him, to go.
I have been supportive for 6 months. I am over it. He actually isn't too fazed by it, unless he gets it on his fingers.

me again ... is there a reason why?? just stubborn?


I dont know why? He just cracks a tantrum whenever I suggest he does it on the toilet. He has been wee trained for 6 months.

:hair:

[drewid]

Andrew will do poo's on the toilet, but generally he will wait until his night nappy is on, after his bath.

Will Connor use a potty for poo? I found with Andrew in the beginning, that it was easier to have the potty sitting in the lounge room, or wherever he was playing, and just remind him every so often, that if he needed to poo he could just sit on the potty.

I noticed with him that it was SO much easier to get him to pee on the toilet than to do a poo. I just try to be really really excited when he DOES do a poo there...the whole family goes down to the loo to have a look and we all wave goodbye and Andrew flushes the loo. The first few times, we even called Grandma on the phone (he LOVES talking to her on the phone) to tell her. He is then all proud and chuffed, and for the next few hours we every so often just say 'You did a poo on the toilet, thats so great, hooray!' and really try to boost him with praise.

Like someone else said...they will get it eventually...they all get it in their own time. I don't think you can really force (for lack of a better word, sorry!) a child to do something they just either don't want to, or aren't ready to do.

I'm sure it must be SOOO frustrating for you and I wish there was a quick fix! Have you tried bribery? If he knows how to, and its just that he is choosing not to, maybe a good bribe will help?

[veve]

Bec - at school (special school) if a child deliberately wets/ poos themselves to escape an activity - then yes .. they are supervised.. given the implements needed (including gloves :) ) .. and made to clean it up (its amazing how effective it is for some kids!!)

I do wonder a little about conner's thinking ... sigh .. frustrating isn't it!! I assume you have tried all the reward tricks in the book ?? star charts (blah blah??)

must drive you balmy - I wonder if Ella will do it first :laughing:

ETA - oh .. and we toilet trained Jack by just removing ALL nappies .. when at home .. so he ran around 'loose' :laughing: TOTALLY NUDDEE RUDDEE!! - and even nap times (cause the smart monkeys WAIT for that nappy to poo) - there were NO nappies .. no pants .. nothing - just towels and a protector on his bed - so far .. we have had one tiny puddle on the towels (and he was upset about that) - have you tried that ???

[poshBecks]

Have you tried bribery? If he knows how to, and its just that he is choosing not to, maybe a good bribe will help?
Yep!! He has done 3 poos on the toilet in the past 6 months. (we have a sticker chart in the toilet. Each time we have thrown a major party!!! I have had diesel 10 & henrietta (from Thomas) sitting on top of the cupboard for ages waiting for him to do a poo... a few weeks ago he said to me " Mum, when I get bigger & bigger I will be able to reach diesel 10 myself" :banghead:

I wonder if Ella will do it first :laughing:

have you tried that ???


I think she will!! :rolleyes:

Nope, not completely nude.... might be worth a try.
Since the cleaning up business has started he has been waiting for his night nappy. Maybe I should put him to bed in undies & put the nappy on later ( he is a heavy wetter, certainly not ready to night train yet)...

[veve]

ages waiting for him to do a poo... a few weeks ago he said to me " Mum, when I get bigger & bigger I will be able to reach diesel 10 myself" :banghead:

:laughing: sorry bec .. but that is FUNNY :laughing: clever kid..


Nope, not completely nude.... might be worth a try.
Since the cleaning up business has started he has been waiting for his night nappy. Maybe I should put him to bed in undies & put the nappy on later ( he is a heavy wetter, certainly not ready to night train yet)...

dont forget the towels :eek: :laughing: I'm trying to wean Jack onto pants .. he seems to be a little confused - thinking that all pants are good for absorbancy - so we aren't ttrained for the community yet!! just nudie at home...

give the nude thing a try (maybe even keep the knickers off .. till he does a poo .. and then give them back .. knickers are as hard to clean as a nappy) - up to you :)

good luck .. frustrating little people aren't they!

xx
Jen

[Rachael]

Sorry if this sounds rude but that sort of thing could have long lasting effects on your son.

I would never make a child especially one who is practically a toddler clean up poo.

Anyway to add a positive suggestion :D

Bribery works well for most children, it did for me when I was little. :cool:

[drewid]

I shoud add, like Veve, the nudie-all-day was the method we went with too :) They just seem to be more aware of whats happening down there when its just skin.

[poshBecks]

Sorry if this sounds rude but that sort of thing could have long lasting effects on your son.

I would never make a child especially one who is practically a toddler clean up poo.

Anyway to add a positive suggestion :D

Bribery works well for most children, it did for me when I was little. :cool:

If you havn't already ready read... bribery doesn't work.

[poshBecks]

I shoud add, like Veve, the nudie-all-day was the method we went with too :) They just seem to be more aware of whats happening down there when its just skin.

My only concern is that he holds fpr a long time..... :confused:

[veve]

My only concern is that he holds for a long time..... :confused:

prunes for breakfast .. pears for lunch :laughing: just kidding .. :laughing:

just make sure he eats REALLY healthily for a few days - it isn't easy to 'hold on' when the gut is working really well ..

xx
Jen

[Fuchsia!]

hiya! I know how fustrating this must be. Im not sure where you are upto in training him but i have a few ideas that you can try. You probably have already done it but im not sure what you have tried.

Jaxon was like this. I think the main thing is to encourage it but don't go over the top cause you ant him to think that doing it in the toilet is a normal thing.

Are you still putting any nappies on him at all? This can be really confusing to a child.

Have you tried sitting in there with him on the floor? I used to sit in there and read a book while he done it and when he started to get anxious i would start pointing out the spiders and talk about about something fun and exciting just to take his mind off it.

If he ever sat there and didn't do anything i would always say " that's ok maybe you didn't really need to go, maybe next time you might be able to do it. This would make me feel really happy!" Also when going to the toilet yourself let him watch you and say to yourself "Gee i really like doing my poos in the toilet! it makes me such a big girl" Make sure he is listening.

This one sounds gross but jax got a thrill out of it...Tell him to try and make the water splash by letting the poo hit the water. You could even put a ping pong ball in there and tell him he has to sink the ship!

Have you asked why he doesn't like doing it in the toilet?

Do you have a toddler seat for him?

[poshBecks]

For the record... I am not rubbing his nose it. I simply get him to wipe his own bottom up!!! How is that abuse? :confused: :mad:

[Rachael]

Yep I read that but maybe other incentives would work.

Chocolate or lollies, there will be something out there that he will want so much he is willing to poo for and if he is cheeky in saying he can reach for things then take them away.

Sorry this is coming accross as mean and I am trying not to be but still get my message out. hmm if I am offending you please say so and I will not post in this thread again.

With whatever you decide I wish you the best of luck.

[poshBecks]

1. Are you still putting any nappies on him at all? This can be really confusing to a child.

2. Have you tried sitting in there with him on the floor?

..3. Tell him to try and make the water splash by letting the poo hit the water. You could even put a ping pong ball in there and tell him he has to sink the ship!

4. Have you asked why he doesn't like doing it in the toilet?

5. Do you have a toddler seat for him?



1. Yes, but only at night time as he still wets heavily through the night. Not at all during the day.

2. Yes. We read stories in there too. And sing songs.

3. I have suggested this. He giggled at the idea, but then cracked a tantrum when it came down to the crunch.

4. Yes, he just says he dpesn't want to. Not why.

:( I must be a hopeless mother!!

[poshBecks]

Chocolate or lollies, there will be something out there that he will want so much he is willing to poo for and if he is cheeky in saying he can reach for things then take them away.


if I am offending you please say so and I will not post in this thread again.


.

Chocolates and lollies dont work. And I actually do want him to get the trains one day!!

YOu are offending me.

[poshBecks]

For the record... I am not rubbing his nose it. I simply get him to wipe his own bottom up!!! How is that abuse? :confused: :mad:

Just wanted to add aswell, That he is too heavy for me to lift his bottom to wipe it properly now. I explained very clearly that I didn't like cleaning up his bottom anymore & that he needed to learn to do it himself.

[SorenLorensen]

hey i just wanted to say good luck.....

i would love to give advice but since i only have DD and have not had to go through it personaly i dont know what your could do.....i guess its a....if you havent been there, you wont understand

but for what it is worth i dont think you are hurting him in anyway

[Fuchsia!]

:hugs: ypu are not a terrible mummy at all! You are great! I know some kids his age that aren't even toilet trained yet.

I know you have heard it before, but he needs time. Is there anyway you could try to take the nappies away from him at night? I know jax used to get confused that he was allowed to wear nappies some of the time but other times he wasn't!

Maybe try the ping pong thing. I know its hard hun, i have totally been there. If bribing isn't going to work than i wouldn't even bother with that.

Im not sure him cleaning it up will help, it might make him more anxious and the last thing you want is to him to start holding it in. I can't think of anything at the moment but i will go and look up in some of my books and get back to you.

Don't worry what other people have to say, they probably didn't struggle like you did. You have done a great job to get him this far, so don't be so hard on yourself:hugs:

Stubborn little man!!!

[bAaM]

:hugs: for you I do know how hard it is.
My DS didn't poo in a toilet till he was just over 4. He used to poo every where but the loo one day he even pooed in the cupboard and covered it up with his shoes:laughing:
It is all trial and error with our little ones that like to push us to our extremes Lol.
Has there been a change in his lifestyle eg moving new ppl a death in the family cause that could be delaying it. It might also hurt him to poo if he is constipated. Maybe you could talk to a CHN and see what they suggest.

Good luck:thumbsup:
Leashie

BTW i made him clean up the cupboard incident, so i don't think its a bad thing. It may work for you.

[poshBecks]

Thanks for all the hugs.

No lifestyle changes. Its nice to know he is not the only late pooer :p I dont think he is constipated...

[Fuchsia!]

Ok i have found some info for you.


The child should first spend some time sitting on the potty, first while clothed and then with clothes removed, so that he or she is comfortable sitting on it. The connection between what she is doing on her small potty and what the adults and siblings do on the big potty should be emphasized. One suggestion is to bring the child to the potty with a dirty diaper and the contents placed in it so he or she can see that this is where they belong.
The child should be taken to the potty, his or her diaper should be removed, and the child encouraged to sit for at least one minute. Some children may enjoy reading a book or singing a song while waiting. Special read-aloud books about toilet training are popular. Parents should never strap (http://www.answers.com/topic/strap) a child into a potty or force him or her to sit on it. If the child has not used the potty after five minutes or so, he or he should be encouraged to get dressed and try again soon.

The general consensus from experts is that much encouragement and praise should be used when a child cooperates with toilet training and when he or she begins to urinate or defecate (http://www.answers.com/topic/defecate) in the potty. Rewards such as hugs and kisses, verbal praise, stickers, stars, or favorite treats can be used when the child uses the potty or tells a parent he or she has to use it. When accidents occur, they should be treated casually; punishment, (http://www.answers.com/topic/incentive)teasing (http://www.answers.com/topic/teasing), or chastising should be avoided.

In some cases a child may resist all toilet training efforts from the parents, some going so far as to resist sitting on the potty or even holding back bowel movements. Toilet training resistance may be the result of a parent over-admonishing the child when accidents are made or the child does not use the potty when directed. In some cases the child is simply not ready for toilet learning. More rarely, resistance can be caused by a condition that causes the child pain (http://www.answers.com/topic/pain-1) when he or she uses the potty, such as painful urination associated with a urinary tract infection (http://www.answers.com/topic/urinary-tract-infection-2). If a child is uncooperative (http://www.answers.com/topic/uncooperative) during the toilet training process, parents can try letting the child initiate the process when he or she is ready, using rewards and positive feedback each time the child is successful in using the potty or goes a whole day without soiling his or her pants, replacing the child's diaper or training pants with regular underwear (http://www.answers.com/topic/underwear) or having the child change his or her own clothes when accidents occur.

One potential negative effect of resistance is that the child can hold back bowel movements, resulting in constipation (http://www.answers.com/topic/constipation). This in turn makes elimination uncomfortable (http://www.answers.com/topic/uncomfortable) and even painful, creating even greater reluctance and resistance on the part of the child. Severe cases of constipation (http://www.answers.com/topic/constipation) can cause painful anal fissures, fecal (http://www.answers.com/topic/fecal) soiling (encopresis (http://www.answers.com/topic/encopresis)), or rectal (http://www.answers.com/topic/rectal) enlargement. Unusual delays in toilet training normal children or regressions to soiling generally indicate family stress and/or underlying emotional problems and may require counseling to be effectively resolved.

Parental Concerns
Toilet training is often a dreaded (http://www.answers.com/topic/dreads) and frustrating task for parents. The process can go more smoothly (http://www.answers.com/topic/smoothly-4) for parent and child if parents are educated on training techniques that emphasize waiting until a child shows signs of readiness before initiating training and taking a child-oriented approach.
When to Call the Doctor
Parents should contact a healthcare provider if their child exhibits any of the following behaviors:

holding back bowel movements or constipation
evidence of painful urination or defecation
extended toilet training resistance (i.e. lasts several months)

[Nickster]

:hugs: Have another one.

Like veve, we also had the most success when DD was completely nude - or at least on the bottom half anyway - she would happily go to the toilet anytime.....it just got complicated when we put any clothing on her bottom half(nappy or undies) as she also thought they were good for weeing/pooing in.

Signing out now - no other useful suggestions from me.:o

[poshBecks]

Thanks for that information :)

[sopolicha]

Having had two kids go through this I understand. What if you just 'let it go' for a couple of days, don't mention it, don't talk about, just praise if he has a wee, don't even mention the P word.

Do you think he is secretly enjoying the power that he has over you with the poo? He knows you desperately want him to do the right thing and he chooses not to simply because he can and he gets all the attention that goes with it.

[poshBecks]

Do you think he is secretly enjoying the power that he has over you with the poo? He knows you desperately want him to do the right thing and he chooses not to simply because he can and he gets all the attention that goes with it.

Hmm maybe :confused: I think I will just leave it.

But I still will get him to help me with the clean up. Taking responsibility.

[Chickadee]

Do you think he is secretly enjoying the power that he has over you with the poo? He knows you desperately want him to do the right thing and he chooses not to simply because he can and he gets all the attention that goes with it.
The topic of 'choice' ties in with a parenting book that I was reading last night, that we can promote the behaviour we want by encouraging children to make choices.

If you are absolutely sure that Connor has the physical ability to use the toilet (that he can recognise when he needs to go poo and control it) then the choice he is making is between using the toilet and helping you to clean it up. To us that might be obvious, but it might not be to him.

By talking to him about the choice you might even be able to make the toilet option more attractive - he can use the toilet and then continue playing, or he can choose to not use the toilet and have to stop playing to help clean up.

I'm not convinced on the book's theory yet, but I did try a similar tactic with DD this morning over breakfast and had some success.

[sopolicha]

But I still will get him to help me with the clean up. Taking responsibility.

Fair enough too. You chose to make the mess, you help clean up the mess.

[TwoBlue]

Becky you know that I have had the same trouble as you with Samuel so firstly :hugs:

You are not a bad mother !!!

We used the "clean it yourself" technique with Samuel as we had decided his lack of pooing on the toilet was due to laziness...

When he had to clean and change himself it became a better option to poo in the loo :thumbsup:


Sorry if this sounds rude but that sort of thing could have long lasting effects on your son.

I would never make a child especially one who is practically a toddler clean up poo.


I dont agree with this at all....

It would be different if a parent was screaming and shouting and rubbing his nose in it but she is just making him clean up after himself..

We teach our children to clean their toys up when they make a big mess...
How is this any different??...
as long as the child is not feeling harassed or "naughty" then I think making them clean it up is just fine...

[Xanthipants]

Don't know if this helps but we found with my ds the best suggestion we got was to encourage the potty situation first. We were told to sit him on the potty in front of his favourite show/dvd and try to get him to stay sitting on it (like a little chair) We had to do this with our ds quite a few times but the idea is that they relax enough that it just kinda happens. Then make a big thing about it, as you have been. It may not be the toilet but it's a start and eventually they become comfortable with doing it there that the toilet doesn't become such a big deal. Hope this helps.

[themumbug]

Sorry if this sounds rude but that sort of thing could have long lasting effects on your son.

I would never make a child especially one who is practically a toddler clean up poo.

Anyway to add a positive suggestion :D

Bribery works well for most children, it did for me when I was little. :cool:


I agree, praise will go a long way.

[tickle]

I agree, praise will go a long way.

Hmmm, he has had so much praise it's not funny! I'm pretty sure Becky is at her wits end with it all.

Becky, Connor is extremely intelligent. I think Martha's and Sopolicha's advice is good. Maybe let it go for a few days and see what happens. If that doesn't work, you can try the choice strategy.

Good luck. :hugs:

[xkwzit]

DD1 also was like this, she had to decide for herself that she was going to go on the loo. She would wait until her night nappy and do it then (I am actually going through a similar thing with DD2 now). Bribery doesn't seem to work with mine either...and it's hard to praise them when they haven't done anything, mine wouldn't even sit on the toilet to poo, so I couldn't even go on about that. DD1 decided to go to bed in nickers and THAT was the switch. Take comfort in the fact that when it happens, it will be immediate and final.

These kids aren't silly, they know that there is no way that you can MAKE them go on the loo. They are in charge (and I think they love it). Just wait, eventually he will decide on his own. Though you might want to point out - in the mean time - that it is going to be a long time till he can reach Diesel 10, and before he does, you will have put it somewhere else, because that toy is only for boys who poo on the loo.

Best of luck sweets

[draught]

My nephew is a very bright little boy. He would not poo on the toilet for anyone - waited until he had a night nappy on and then did his poo seconds before it was taken off in the morning - his timing was incredible. My sister negotiated with him, talked to him etc and he announced that when he was 4 he wouldn't wear nappies anymore. The night of his 4th birthday she went to put the nappy on him and he said no - and the next morning pooed on the toilet.

So hopefully one day (soon) Connor will make that decision for you too!!

[Tea Lady]

My paed just gave us some hints about this recently - I'll try to summarise....

* make sure he's really secure sitting on toilet (ie on one of those little toilet seat insert thingys) because he has to be able to completely relax.

* give him a step or stool to rest his feet on (helps to have something to brace against) and encourage him to lean forward - resting hands on knees or similar.

* sit him on the toilet for a few minutes after breakfast and dinner - there's a reflex that kicks in after large meals that gives you the urge to "go". The idea of sitting them on the loo is so that if they get the urge they're in the right spot.

* while they're on the toilet you get them to blow - eg blow up a balloon, blow a windmill, those party blower things, whatever. This should encourage them to use the muscles that they will use to do a poo. You DON"T just get them to sit there and read or something - they have to be blowing

* If you want to use a reward chart, reward for just sitting and blowing, not for pooing.

* He also suggested the ping pong ball thing, maybe with faces one them so he can bomb mummy and daddy or something..... lovely!

That's what I remember of what he said anyway. We're persevering with it, so I hope it works.

:hugs: to you.... you're not a bad mum at all :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

[poshBecks]

Thanks everyone for all the practical tips....:)

I like the choice idea & I think I will try the blowing thing aswell.... do you think blowing bubbles would work? He loves doing that....

[Tea Lady]

I'm wondering about bubbles too, but I'm worried that the floor might get a bit slippery. Maybe if you wiped the floor with a wet towel or something? We just used one of those windmills from a cheapo shop - you might like to try that too. :)

Good luck Beck :hugs: :)

[AngelaMum]

Hi Becky- just wanted to say that I am in exactly the same situation as you. Have been trying to TT Lachlan for 6 mo. He is now 3y9m. He just doesn't seem to care if he is wet or dirty. We had been getting him to sit on toilet at various times during day (getting up, before going in car, before rest time, etc.) The wees were good, (he was mostly dry all day) but poos are a battle. We have tried all kinds of rewards, praise, anger, you name it!! I was doing internet research last week and came across these sites:

www.med.umich.edu/1libr/pa/pa_btrainin_hhg.htm (http://www.med.umich.edu/1libr/pa/pa_btrainin_hhg.htm)

www.rogerknapp.com/medical/pottytrainingrefusals.htm (http://www.rogerknapp.com/medical/pottytrainingrefusals.htm)

They are about stepping back, not reminding about toilet training- and letting the child take responsibility. Also the last one has a good section on using incentives- interesting reading! We have decided to use these methods for a month, and if nothing changes, we're taking him to the Dr.

Good luck, and if you come up with any other great ideas- please let me know!!!

Angela

[poshBecks]

Angela, thank you so much for those links. I have added them to favourites. They have been the most helpful advice I have heard so far!!

Thank you again :hugs: I hope you have some success with it aswell :)

[jasesmum]

My son was born in June 04 so is around same age. I too was so frustrated with him not doing poos in toilet. I knew he was capable, as yours sounds like, yet he still would just do it in his jocks. Then one day (12 September to be exact:laughing: )he went off to the toilet on his own and did a poo!! After that there has been only about 2 'accidents' in his pants. We did the whole sticker chart, praise, bribery etc...and then at then end of the day he did it, when HE wanted to do it.

My advice is to just hang in there. Some of us just have those head strong children and for some reason will only do things when they want to do it. IMO I think you should just continue what your doing and hang in there, as frustrating as it is, it WILL happen!

[poshBecks]

Just an update btw... He quite enjoys cleaning up his own poop :banghead: He told me the other day that is was "lovely" :confused: Strange child!!

Clearly it is all about the attention. Time to stop!

[Ana Gram]

Frustrating! Ruby is now fully toilet trained getting her to poo was not my achievement. I tried absolutely every suggestion given to me and borrowed books from the library. None of it worked. She decided to do it herself after watching her cat poo and thought it was gross.

Try and hang in there :hugs:

[MountainGirl]

Arrrghhhhh,.I feel your pain! Scarlett is 3yr3months and I have been trying to TT her for a year! Getting more and more frustrated as all her friends turned up nappy free to preschool,.... We tried bribery, stickers, nappy free time, cleaning up her poo/wee, leavin her in a reaaalllllly wet nappy so she would feel uncomfortable...and the little bugger would not have a barr of any of it,... until 3weeks ago,.... I had let it all slide,..and she woke up one morning and announced to me that she was a big girl and never wanted a nappy again,....since then every wee and poo has been in the loo and we are yet to have an accident,... in her own time,... it will be the same for your stubborn boy:p ,...he will just decide.... I only hope for you and your sanity that it is soon:laughing:

[poshBecks]

...he will just decide.... I only hope for you and your sanity that it is soon:laughing:

hehe thanks!! I hope so too...

Well still no poop in the loo... I am currently doing the whole not making a deal of it method... I am not even mentioning the "T" (for toilet) word....

He has started taking himself to the loo on his own for wees, but I am waiting for a poos.... he seems to be holding them in actually, its been a few days.... but I havn't said anything to him about it at all....

Being patient is very hard!

[AngelaMum]

Hi Becky,

Just thought I'd pop in and say "hang in there!"
Lachlan is getting better with wees, too. I bought a few packets of lollies, filled up a BIG jar (Lachlan was very impressed) and told him he could have one every time he took himself to the toilet. 5 mins later...hey presto!
Poos are another matter. We bought him a computer game (of his choice- Wiggles) and told him he could have 20 mins on it every time he did a poo on the toilet. In a week, we have had 2 successes. Better than nothing, I guess!

I agree- the whole "don't mention it" thing is very hard, but hopefully, worth it!

[mumtwinsx2]

Hi Becky,
Just wanted to let you know, I know exactly what you are going through. My DS1 (twin 1) now 4.5yrs has only just started to poo on the toilet in the last 3 months!! About 18 months ago when I toilet trained them he got the hang of weeing in the toilet straight away but pooing was a disaster. He would just do it in his undies and wouldn't care. :hair: Like you I tried everything - praise, reward charts, treats, anger any form of bribery toys etc. Nothing worked. I had to put him in pull ups to go out otherwise he would make a mess everywhere. :barf: Out of sheer desperation I rang the kids hospital and asked to speak to someone in the continence clinic. They said for weeing they don't see kids unless they have problems over the age of 6 but with the pooing issue I got an appointment a few weeks later. All I needed was a referal letter from my GP. Anyway the doctor put him on "parachoc" to help make stools soft and easier to pass to give him confidence to go and for him not to think it is painful. (although he wasn't constipated). He was only on this for about 1 month, then he started to go on the potty. I made a routine of after his bath in the evening to put him on the potty (this is what dr recommended - kids relax in the bath skin is softer etc). I gave him a book to look at and eventually he did it. We made a big song and dance about it. I would rather clean out a potty than 3-4 pairs of undies a day!!
Anyway about 3 months ago he just took himself to the toilet and then came and told me to come and look at the big poo he did in the toilet!!! I was amazed and happy I nearly cried!
He has only had 1 small accident since.
I only had to take him to the clinic about 3 times I think. There are a lot of kids that do this so don't think you are alone. My ds2 (twin 2) has pooed and wee'd in the toilet from the time he started TT no problems. My GP, paediatrician and clinic nurse were no help really that's why I rang the kids hosp.
Anyway hope my big long story is helpful to you. Hang in there, he won't do this forever, it does get easier. PM me if you want to chat or ask more questions. Goodluck.
From Megan.xx

:wave: :hugs: