Sad Lonely Mum

[MissBrightside]

Hi im kinda new to this so i thought i could find someone to chat to. im sitting here alone feeling lonely and depressed.

[O&GMUM]

well you have come to the right place, there is always people to talk to here. Welcome

[my babyemmy]

hi darling i just want to tell you that you will never be alone again,everyone here will help make sure of that!

[rynosmum]

Don't be lonely ! Welcome to Bubhub ! Always someone to chat to here. Go to the thread entitled "Chatterbox' which is just an open banter/chat thread for anyone who's online.:D

[MissBrightside]

thanks just feel

[MissBrightside]

thanks just feel really lost at the moment

[my babyemmy]

please pm me if you wanna chat in private! but you can put pretty much say everything on here and everyone will try & help,or at least try to make you feel better! my heart is breaking for you,whats wrong?

[MissBrightside]

my partner and i of 8 years moved out a week ago we have 2 little boys 2gether

[rynosmum]

Sorry, I think I misread your post. Do you mean you broke up ?

[MissBrightside]

yeah sorry i read it again and it didnt make sense. yeah we broke up a week ago and im finding it really difficult. i saw him today he came to see the boys but he looked so happy and fine with everything

[rynosmum]

I'm so sorry to hear that. It must be so difficult after so long, especially when you have two beautiful little boys. I've split from long term relationships pre-kids but never (touch wood) since having them.

Was it his idea for the breakup ? Do you think he's really fine or just putting on a it of an act ?

[MissBrightside]

He had an affair with someone he worked with a year ago when my youngest was 4 weeks old. We split for about a month but decided to give it another go. the first 6 months were great but then he lost his job and said i was pressuring him he found one after about 6 weeks while we were living on my credit card. he told me last weekend he came back last year halfhearted. he makes me feel like crap

[brooke]

welcome to bub hub...
you can be sure you will never feel lonely one here!
Sorry to hear about the break up... I imagine it to be hard..
feel free to vent all your feelings on here.....

[Refresh]

Welcome:) Hope you find some great support here:)

[brooke]

well just remember you are special and deserve to be loved and wanted....
Never let anyone make you feel cr*p! I know its easier said than done...
Your 2 little boys need to know that you are more special than what your ex has made you feel...
Big Hug to you!

[brooke]

p.s the best revenge is to be happy!

[MissBrightside]

i know i should be happy because he did make me feel bad but when i saw him happy i just thought why couldnt he be like that with me anymore. we were so happy when our first son was born but he couldnt handle not getting my attention all the time and slowly we grew apart i hate him but i love him and miss him

[brooke]

Happiness takes time.. and a broken relationship takes time to mend...
try and do things that make you happy... things you couldnt do when you were together...
Its only natural to miss him and still love him.. you were together for a long time and had 2 beautiful boys together. He obviously sounds very selfish to have an affair because you werent paying him enough attention because you were caring for his babies... chances are he didnt pay attention to you either!
It will take time for you to be happy and confident again when you see him so try not to feel down... we are always here for you! thats what so great about this site!

[rynosmum]

What a b@stard to say such a thing to you. Sometimes people can be so unfeeling, almost like it makes them feel like a better person to belittle someone else.

You deserve better and although it might seem so far away at the moment, you will find better. I'm sure your little ones will bring you so much comfort - how are they coping with it all ?

Please don't let your ex's issues become your issues. It's his choice and just for my opinion (as I can't help myself), and man who would cheat on his wifeor partner at all but more specifically when she is pregnant or has just had his child needs a good slapping. It's the time when you need them the most and you are trying to safely bring a babe into the world. I saw a statistic once that said that 73% of all men who will ever cheat, will do it in the final stages of their wife's pregnancy - it makes me sick to my stomach.:mad:

[MissBrightside]

thanks im just a bit lost cos i dont have many friends, and ive always got the kids who drive me crazy sometimes they go to childcare 2 days a week but then im lost without them. i dont know what to do with my spare time but to feel sorry for myself right now. i love my kids and would never put them in danger but i dont know where to meet new people

[brooke]

are you apart of a playgroup or anything similar?
Maybe you could start some swimming lessons with the kiddies or something similar to meet new people..
I know some people from here meet up from time to time...
where abouts are you from?

[MissBrightside]

yeah he didnt even really stay at the hospital. he came when he was born didnt hold my hand or anything i was still in the delivery suite when he left to go out drinking

[MissBrightside]

i live in viewbank in vic

[MissBrightside]

ive been looking into playgroups but i dont know if ill fit in

[brooke]

I cant believe he left you in the delivery suite to go have drinks! WTF!!! :mad:
My DH would have his man bits chopped off.... that is so low!
You really deserve better!

I am sure you would fit in at a play group.. I cant see why you wouldn't there is normally a mix of different people... all looking to meet other mummies and kiddies...

[Refresh]

That is a very sad story:(

Why wouldnt you fit in at playgroup?

[MissBrightside]

i was always to scared to say anything because it would cause a fight so i just shut up and took it id had enough on saturday when he went to work cos he had my car as his battery was flat in his. he finished work at 12.00 and didnt get home till 6.30. he presumed that one of my bros would buy a new battery and i would have a car, but he dosent get that it wasnt about the car. i had the sh*ts when he got home and he walked in saying id better not have the sh*ts because he was at the pub. he didnt even ring me to say where he was

[MissBrightside]

his dad walked out on his mum when he was 6 and he didnt see him for 10 years he said he is not going to be like his dad because he wants to be involved in our boys lives

[brooke]

well all I can say is that he sounds more and more like scum and you and your boys dont need to be in that enviroment! You are too good to be with a "man" and Im not so sure he is a MAN that will treat you like dirt!

I have to go off to bed now because have to help out at work tomorrow...
but PM if you want to chat more and get it all off your chest sometimes it helps to get it all out!

[rynosmum]

You're very strong to call it quits with him, and for good reason. You need to put yourself and your little one's needs and self-respect in the forefront.

As the other girls asked though, why don't you think you'll fit in at a playgroup ?

[MissBrightside]

i feel to sad at the moment. i know other people have gone through this but its hard when its you i dont feel like anyone would understand. ive been isolated at home for about 4 years now and am not sure how to talk to people

[Rah]

Hi Nic and Bens Mum,

I am new to this too, (just joined up today)...I get a bit lonely too sometimes especially seeing as I have just moved to a new state (moved from Queensland to Adelaide)...It is nice to get online and chat with other mums. Hope you aren't feeling too sad....

Rhiannon (mum2will)

[MissBrightside]

Hi Rhiannon i am but trying to look up

[MissBrightside]

i know ill be fine but i just feel rejected and alone i know ive got my boys but its a different kind of companionship

[MissBrightside]

my 3 year old keeps asking when daddys coming home or will daddy be there he dosnt fully understand and my 1 year old is ok but he has been crying more latly i think he knows somethings up with mum

[MissBrightside]

has every1 gone?

[my babyemmy]

people will come & go constantly sweetpea but I'm sure that there will always someone on here for you eventually:)

[rynosmum]

Well, you've come to the right place to start to get to know people again. Bubhub is a great place to meet people, both online and also when we have local get togethers. Everyone is as nervous as everyone else so it helps a little:o

You're right, the companionship of your children will be different but hug them with all your might as they'll need you just as much as you need them through all of this.

Which state are you located in ?

[MissBrightside]

i live in viewbank in vic and dont worry ive been hugging my boys heaps

[my babyemmy]

what suburb is veiwbank near? Anywhere near werribee?:)

[rynosmum]

i live in viewbank in vic and dont worry ive been hugging my boys heaps

I bet you have - they're nice to cuddle aren't they :D

Well, from what you're saying, you've made some bold steps in the right direction - I look forward to seeing you more around Bubhub ! It's surprising how quickly you will make friendships on here and many of these can turn into real 'live' friendships as well.

Keep an eye out for the Victoria thread and any conversations about meeting up - even if you're shy, I bet your boys will break the ice for you !

And whilst I know that night-time and first thing in the morning can be the loneliest times (they were when my ex-DP and I broke up after 6 years), things will improve. It took me getting out of a controlling and emotionally abusive and unsupportive relationship to realise who I was and what I wanted from life. Although it may take a while to sound true, you're on the first step of a great new journey...and many more smiles:D

[MissBrightside]

viewbank is near heidleberg thanks for your kind words im feeling a bit better to know people do care im scared of moving on i know i will be happy again 1 day but i dont feel as though i will ever meet any1 again i know thats not important but i dont want to be alone forever

[MissBrightside]

gotta go might come back tomorrow

[LA62]

Hi there,

how are you, i live im mornington quite a way out of meb...how you feeln 2 today

are you getting there, i can only imagine its very raw for you

[MissBrightside]

yeah very raw im just being consumed by all these emotions right now and dont know where to start

[LA62]

i dont know i can only imagine how sad you are, a friend of ours is going through the same thing his wife left him, they have a little boy, so sad when children are involved but by the sounds of it you are really better off, i know it easy for people to say that, but do you want your children being brought up in an hunhappy house and to think that its ok for their dad to treat woman like that....they will look up to you, not him and that can only be a good thing for them

you wont think so now but you will meet some one else in the future that will give you the love and repsect that you deserve......just be strong and try to be posetive..it will be hard and not a quick fix but a day to day processX

[MissBrightside]

yeah i know someone told me to write down positives and negatives and you will see the answer. and i know the negs are higher but when i saw him yesterday he was saying he is going to try to be a nicer person and he is going to do this and that. it just makes me sad and angry that he couldnt see all this when he was here but he told me he just dosnt want to be with me. i know i have to accept this but then he tells me we can be best of friends and if anyone ever hurt me he would be there for me. i dont get it i just really miss him being around it wasnt bad all the time when we split the first time i asked if we could do some counselling but he refused saying we can work it out and a stranger cant helpi wish i had of been tougher and demanded we go but he still would have refused. he used to tell me it was his way or the highway

[MissBrightside]

how do i find other people in my area?

[Chickadee]

Hi NicandBensmum,

So sorry to hear about what you've been going though. Hugs to you and your little boys.

As far as meeting other mums you could have a look at the Playgroups Australia site, I know there are playgroups in this area. I keep meaning to phone them up and join one but never do.

Also, I know there are at least 3 or 4 other mums on here in the same area.

[MissBrightside]

that would be great my 3 yr old loves other kids to play withand i sort of dont know where to start looking to meet ppl till i came across this site.

[Chickadee]

Hi again,
Just to let you know, I have started to ask around about having a meet in this area. Also, there is a meeting being planned for Thurs March 2 at Queen's Park in Moonee Ponds. I'm not sure if you have transport or want to go that distance but I'll be going along to it.

Hope you had an ok day.