Reason for Bottlefeeding?

[Skadi]

What's your reason for choosing to bottlefeed?

For me, it was latching problems and Mason not gaining enough weight while being breastfed.

[mumof2girls]

My choice was easy to make, I was sick when my girls were born so the solution was the bottle. My hubby didn't mind as he loved to give them their bottles and it gave me time to heal.

Mind you the day after my daughter was born she was drinking 180ml bottles at each feed (usually 12 hours)

People looked down at me but I had to do what was best for my baby and me so I didn't really care. Both my girls were and still are healthy so I didn't see what the big deal is :)

[ELA23]

i got mastitis 3 times , due to i believe as a too big a milk supply. just the pain that came with mastitis and myself getting upset when trying to attach made zali upset so bottlefeeding was the only way to go.

wouldnt go back to breastfeeding even though i did enjoy the times that it didnt hurt.

[Baby Girl]

Hello all.

I gave up on breastfeeding at about 3 months with my daughter. I was heading back to work about 4 weeks after she weaned but that wasn't the sole reason we switched, I had every intention of expressing and feeding before and after work.

BUT..... I can't believe I am actually going to put this in writing.....

I did not like it!!

I feel like I was being invaded every few hours. Even though we had no problems with attachment, supply etc, there was no special bonding between myself and my little one while feeding, if anything I felt like I was resenting her for "making me" breastfeed. Anyway, we weaned her and put her on formula and she and I were able to get over our feeding issues and all was well and has been ever since. With all the stuff you get bombarded with about "breast is best" I felt guilty for feeling bad about something "natural" so perservered and I suffered for it!!

I am due again in May and would like to try bf again but if I start to feel awful about it again, I will be nipping it in the bud and going to bottles. I may express or we may go to formula, it all depends but I am not ruling any of it out this time!!

I prefer bottles anyway. So what if there is an extra half a dozen things to wash up!!

Sorry for rambling.....

[shellbell]

hi kelly,

its so nice to hear someone actually say what i'm sure a lot of new mums must be thinking. i too felt feelings of resentment and pressure when each of my babies was born - that pressure to be there for your child simply because you are the mother and its your "job" to feed and satisfy their hunger. i stuggled with breastfeeding at the start , and expressed and gave some formula for over a month with #1. the guilt that comes with that decision is unbelievable, and the child health nurses don't make it any easier - "breast is best" afterall.

anyway, if you do whats best for you and your baby, how can anyone fault you. i really believe that its no one's business how you choose to feed your child, so long as they are getting the nourishment required to thrive.

sorry to go on, but i actually get quite cranky when mums have to justify their decisions. good on you all for doing whats best for your bubs. :)

[Baby Girl]

Thanks Michelle, it is nice not to be judged about something so taboo!!

My daughter thrived once we switched to formula so i never questioned my decision, although, as you mentioned, a lot of other people had something to say to make me feel worse about the situation.

I actually had one woman sit down beside me in a shopping centre while I was giving dd a bottle and start telling me what a terrible start to life I was giving my child and she would end up hating me as she grew up because we didn't have the time to bond while breastfeeding. Needless to say I was a blubbering mess and lucky for me a shop assistant actually gave the woman a piece of her mind about it but I still spent days feeling guilty for not breastfeeding!!

I actually stopped seeing my CHN because she made me feel like a useless mother for not continuing to bf.

It was hard but I have a wonderful relationship with my daughter and she is a happy healthy toddler so I don't even worry about it anymore.

[Tannie]

So nice to hear this!
My bub is 2 months today and I gave her the first formula yesterday afternoon............what a relief!! She has been so unsettled and unhappy EVERY afternoon pretty much since birth...............then after the formula she was a different child - so happy and contented and we were able to cook and eat dinner with her in her rocker awake but happy :)

I always thought "I'll try b/f & if it doesn't work out I'll switch to bottle"..........but I never anticipated the overwhelming pressure you feel to persevere and "be successful" at breastfeeding! When I've spoken with some & they ask if I'm b/f and I say yes - the comment is "oh - you're a good girl".........like people who bottlefeed are "bad girls"....................grrrr.....................

I have overwhelming supply and my nipples are constantly grazed and my boobs continually hurt and ache like hell :( as much as all the experts keep telling me "they will settle down soon to her demand...." it just isn't happening and I htnk 3/4 of the problem with her being unsettled is that she gets all the foremilk and little hindmilk - so never feels really full...............

have to take off - but wanted to ask those who have weaned with good supply - how did you do it ? how long did it take? How long before the breasts become comfortable? Already mine are very sore and full - so am going to express a little to take pressure off in the shower.............any hints or help would be appreciated!

T

[samuelboy]

Hi Tannie

I too have just put my baby on the bottle after 4 months of breastfeeding. He was unsettled after feeds and I was finding myself topping him up with a bottle of formula straight after. Now that he is on the bottle full time I am getting two nice long naps from him every day whereas before I was struggling to get him to go down for half an hour.

I had a really good supply so for the first few days expressed when I got really full, then after that morning, noon and night, then every twelve hours and then twenty four hours. He has only been off for a week but my milk has nearly gone. I was told not to express at all and let it dry up really quickly but it was way too painful and I figured a week wasn't so long anyway.

It's nice to see a positive thread on bottle feeding, I think there is too much pressure to keep breastfeeding when you know it's not working for your baby.

[Rell]

Hi all
Its great to read everyones positive views on bottle feeding. If only I had this after I had my first child. With my daughter I had attachment and supply problems. When I first changed to the bottle I felt so guilty like I was condeming my baby before she was 3mths old. She since grew into a very healthy and smart 3yr old. When my son was born in Oct 04 I was determined to BF but at 2 weeks I got mastitis and had cracked bleading nipples. Like Schmell I started to hate the thought of feeding him and would end up a crying mess everytime he wanted a feed. I then changed to bottle and have never looked back.

[shellbell]

Hi rell,

i totally agree with you - if only i had this after my first child. We too had attachment problems and i remember standing in Big W when she was 2 weeks old blubbering like a baby because the can of formula had printed on the side "breast milk is best for your baby". "i know that it is but its just too damn hard" was my (very loud) reply. Needless to say, hubby wanted to melt into the ground out of sheer embarassment :D

all the books seem to say that it might take 6 weeks or so to get the hang of breastfeeding and to just perservere. Funny, i never realised just how long 6 weeks is until i was a new mum ....

[jiminy]

Hi,

I have been reading in here and Its so sad the presure that is put on the "breast or bottle" topic. It is such a personal choice to that I dont think that anyone can judge you for your choice......but i can totally understand the presure that you all must have felt and I feel for you, all I know that there is more things to worry about once your bundle of joy arrives and if your stressed out whilst feeding it will not do you or your bubba any good, so whatever works for you I say!!!!! :)

I will probably get a few negatives back from this one but here goes-

I have made the choice NOT to breast feed, at all. i know "how could I even think it"?? well Its just not for me, I have always felt this way, even before I was prego, and It doesn't grose me out or anything, I just don't want to. I think its great if you DO want to and great if you DONT. each to their own I say!!!!!

and the argument of you have a healthier baby after breastfeeding is nothing to me, as I was not breast fed at all and at 27 I have hardly been sick a day in my life, so I think I must take after my mum, which In her day was even more a choice under presure. so YIPEE! to us mums who care not about others opinions!!!!! hehehe :) and good luck to everyone, no matter what choice they make, it'll be the right one for them in the end!!!!!!

Jiminy!
:)

[Tannie]

Yeah - I think if I have another (hopefully!!) I won't bother with breast at all. Maybe I'll get the guilts and try a few weeks...LOL :D We'll see!

But I'm SO much happier since slowing down the breastfeeding & bub seems to have yesterday quite rejected the breast feeds anyway - she just wanted bottle and seems to prefer the formula!

I don't really know why either - but I just don't like it. Besides the whole painful thing that I've gone through - even when it's not hurting - I feel trapped and like such a "dowdy housewife" sitting on the couch for more then 8 hours a day with my dripping boobs hanging out of very daggy bras, pads in my bras, bursting out of my clothes........it's incredibly "unsexy" to me and once Hb realised that my lack of interest in sex was due to my breastfeeding boobs - boy - was he quick to suggest stopping :D !!

Quite honestly - even though I am great believer in evidence-based medicine.........I have to admit that in the back of my mind - I just don't really believe all the claims of the pro-breastfeeding lobby. My scientific mind WANTS to believe - but my practical, everyday mind doesn't :o

I mean - the link between bottlefeeding & obesity.........well - obesity has ONLY started to be a huge problem in the last 10-15 yrs......given that during the 1950's, 1960's esp that bottlefeeding was the norm.......then obesity should be at it's worst in these agegroups (35 - 55yrs) however, it isn't!! Obesity is worse in our young kids and those in 20's.........the younger the fatter.........all these people have been born since breastfeeding became the norm.................see what I mean?
Gee - revelation - maybe obesity is related to lack of exercise and over consumption of junk food?? (could I be onto something? :p )

Also - allergies - same thing! Most allergies are in younger people - in my family - no one has allergies to anything (including large numbers of cousins - big catholic mobs...lol) and pretty much all of us were bottle fed. If the pro-lobby are correct, then it should be the 35- 55 yr olds with allergies - but again - from my observations - it seems to be younger people have been struck down with Asthma +++ and many other allergies - no one I went to school with (many years of boarding school) had allergies to anything that i can recall either??

Also - some claim that breastfed babies are more intelligent!!..............WHAT THE?? That is just ridiculous to the max - how is our economy doing so well if such a huge bulk of our population are so "IQ challenged"?!! LMAO - this one just REALLY gives me the giggles as it's just SO stupid!

Okay - I agree that breast is probably best initially to ensure bubs gets antibodies from mum etc - but - unless you are taking a small baby to lots of public / unhygenic germ infested places - then exposure just to their own home environment is unlikely to create great problems & in a healthy baby their immune system kicks in and starts working from birth. Sure it's not "fully developed" for some years - but neither is the rest of their body is it? No big mystery there to me!

In the old days - they used to tell mums NOT to take their baby's away from home for 4-6 weeks.........maybe there is some good advice in this? I certainly did not take my bub to public shopping centre etc until after 4 weeks & then when I did I put her in the sling and kept very close to my body - facing inwards - I didn't want people coughing on her or my hands touching things with multiple germs and then her.........there's lots of studies which shows how filthy these sorts of places are............I certainly would not have taken her anywhere near public toilets for 6 weeks. But i have the luxury of living in a smallish town -so only 5 minutes from home at any time anyway!

Well - I've really got off the point - but just some of my thoughts on this whole thing! I think if you can and want to breastfeed and you enjoy it - great! It IS cheaper and more convenient in so many ways (have to admit those were the reasons I persevered for so long.........) But in the bigger scheme of things - I don't think it makes any difference to the baby!
T

[mumworkingoverseas]

Hi everyone,

I just wish people were more open about how hard it can be to breastfeed. I persevered through a severe bout of mastitis (never would have thought my breasts could resemble rockmelons!!) and nipple thrush (actually worse than having mastitis) only to finally reach that wonderful stage where breastfeeding was actually not an effort - to have my milk dry up. Tried feeding more often, expressing, herbal teas (supposed to increase the supply) and saw a lactation consultant, all to no avail. I felt a bit cheated in the end.

I guess at least next time I will know what to expect and not what to do (like rest instead of trying to be supermum) but I still think that everyone doesn't talk enough about how hard it is and that it doesn't always come easily.

Okay thats my vent for today!

Cheers, Tan.

[monique]

I was all ready to breastfeed when William was born, but I had no idea how difficult it was going to be. He wouldn't latch on and suck properly and I would spend up to an hour with midwives grabbing my breasts and my son and trying to get them together while I just sat there and tried to keep out of the way. Eventually we had some success with a nipple shield, but he was always still hungry after a feed, which usually took over an hour. After expressing one day we discovered I was producing about 40ml - this to satisfy a 4.4kg baby! We started topping him up with formula and after 2 days he started rejecting even the nipple shield.

As soon as we brought him home from the hospital he needed a feed, and it was while I was sitting there in his nursery that I decided it was too traumatic for all of us, way too time consuming and was probably the cause of his being so unsettled after a feed. I still express and top him up with formula, but he only ever gets the bottle now. My supply is still very low, so I'll probably wait until the first month's hire on the breast pump is up and then go solely onto formula.

I wasn't breastfed as a baby - in Papua New Guinea in 1973 if you couldn't bf your baby the nurses would just start bottle feeding. I have a very strong immune system, rarely get sick and also have a great relationship with my mother. I think it's better for my relationship with my son if we don't have to go through all that trauma very 3 hours trying to breastfeed!

Thanks for all the positive words about bottle feeding - it's made me feel better about my decision and I'll be able to stand up to the child health people when we have our first visit next week.

[jamb]

I must have missed this thread- who knows how its been going for ages! It has given me great comfort knowing I am not the only one who didn't love breastfeeding, i felt tied down and guilty for wanting to quit. I have dropped down to one feed, our early morning feed, and now it is a special time for me and bub. I'm not sure if its because I know i only have to do one feed, whatever the reason I don't care. I still get guilts every now and again but at least I am not feeding every 2/3 hoursand YAY no more pumping!! I feel relieved I am not alone- thanks :)

[onabreak]

My DD was born 10 weeks early. I had to express milk every 3 hours or when I could and take the expressed milk up to her at hospital where she spent 8 weeks until she go to come home. I am not sure if it was because she was born premmie but I could not produce enough milk to feed her. When she came home she seemed to cry after every breastfeed and I realised she wasn't getting enough to satisfy her hunger. I put her on formular when she was about 3 months old and I have never looked back. I found it such a relief not to be breastfeeding as it became so demanding and I felt like that was all my DD wanted from me. Now my husband and family can enjoy feeding her a bottle and bond with her. :D

[jarrahsmumma]

hi all,
your stories are so similar to mine, i wish i had read this after or before my bub was born. my son did not want to feed in hospital, the midwives where practically forcing him onto my breast (not a very nice experience at all)

i was discharged with a nipple sheild to feed him as my nipple wasn't big enough and i had alot of milk, so basically my breast was filling up with milk and it couldn't get out. one midwife told me not to express or stand under hot shower as this would only increase my milk and this was the last thing i wanted.

from day 5 i expressed every feed for him, 10 feeds a day, on day 7 i was expressing so much both my nipples cracked and bled, so i couldn't express for a week, to tell the truth i was absolutley petrified of expressing again, to see the blood coming out and the milk turning pinky/red was just horrifying.

when i got back to being able to express my milk had dried up and i first tried natural fenugreek to increse but did not do enough then went on Maxolon (also used for reflux in bubs) to increase milk, this worked but also required me to express more to increase milk supply.

after all this exhuasting work i resolved that it wasn't worth it, i was depressed from maxolon, tired all the time, never getting enough sleep (which inturn decreases your milk) i was fighing and uphill battle. I went to formula at 7 weeks and have enjoyed my bub ever since. i think i was on the verge of PND.

i just have to thank my lovely partner for all his support during the whole thing

the biggest thing i have learnt is not to judge people and the choices they make for their own children.

thanks for reading my rant

peace
natalie

[mumofethan]

i changed to formula at 6 weeks because my son was down to wanting to be feed every 30min... it turned out that my milk was not concentrate enough.

:D

Michelle

[Kirky]

I changed to formula, whilst I was still in hospital, after 4 days of breastfeeding, as my nipples were blistered and cracked and bleeding because my son wasn't latching on properly. As I was in so much pain, I couldn't relax, therefore my milk wouldn't "let down". I didn't feel like I could bond with my son properly, as I was in so much pain every time he'd feed, I started to associate him with pain, therefore resenting and rejecting him emotionally.

He had a huge appetite, and by 11pm on day 4, he was screaming with hunger. He was given his first bottle of formula at midnight, and he then slept 6 hours straight! It was so good to see him content and happy. In addition to this, I was already big-busted to start with (16DD), so I felt like an absolute jersey cow with these huge rock-hard udders hanging off my chest.

The next day I decided to change to formula. My obstetrician gave me some drugs to dry my milk up. I am glad my son got 4 days worth of colostrum, but I had no regrets giving up breastfeeding so soon. I absolutely hated it!

But each to their own. I have friends who felt the same way as me, and friends that absolutely love breastfeeding. To me, neither is better, it is different for everyone and you should do what it best for you and your baby.

[mimi]

As you can see I am new to this site! I had been perusing the site, saw this thread and felt I just HAD to respond.

NOW! My intention here is not to offend or upset anyone who is formula feeding their baby. I know only too well that there are many, varied and complex reasons for babies to be formula fed. This is totally up to the individual and not my concern - I know everyone has the right to feed their baby the way they find the best, but choice can only be made when fully aware of all the facts. Therefore, my motivation to write, is the post by Tannie - even though it is obviously given 'tongue-in-cheek', Tannie, I could not let your words go unchallenged!

Certainly, not all formula fed babies will get all the illnesses and diseases that are reported to occur at a greater rate in formula fed babies - and neither will all breastfed babies be free from ALL illnesses and disease - but the research is absolutely overwhelming, that on average, formula fed kids are sicker than breastfed kids ... and on into adulthood! Yes, genetics do come into it but only 25% of health problems can be related to genetics - 75% is environmental.

Breastfeeding consistently comes out 'on top', even despite the efforts of the very wealthy formula companies' attempts to 'skew' research! [remembering too, that this is research done for no political or monetary gain - as opposed to the research which is commissioned by formula companies, to countenance the results of positive breastmilk research!]. In 1999, there was already more evidence about the dangers of formula, than there was about tobacco, at the beginning of the big anti-smoking campaign.

Even if you don't want believe the research, one would only have to spend time in a doctors surgery or a hospital to see the difference - eg. Over 90% of children admitted to hospital in the first 12 months of life are formula fed. In that first year of life, on average, formula fed babies also have more doctors visits and more prescribed drugs than breastfed babies.

Re' obesity: While only being one of MANY a study to show this, a major and well-designed study in Scotland -32,000 kids - demonstrated the benefits of breastfeeding in helping children maitain a healthy body weight. Tho' consistently shown, the reasons for this are not yet clear, but formula fed babies do have higher insulin lebels, which may encourage fat accumulation. Breastmilk also contains growth factors that may inhibit fat cell growth. Also, the extra weight gained by preterm infants fed formula is largely fat and therefore composition of formula-fed preterm infants is different from that infants fed Human milk. Fat cell size (as opposed to number) increases in formula feeding.

Re' Intelligence - it has never been said that breastfed baby 'A' is smarter than formula fed baby 'B' - what the research does show is that a breastfed baby is more intelligent than they would have been had they been formula fed ... How do they do that? They take large groups of those who were breastfed as babies and IQ test, and then compare with large groups of those who were formula fed. The tests consistently show the breastfed group to be, on average, of higher IQ - this being 'dose related' i.e. the longer one is breastfed the higher the IQ.

Most formula is made from one of the most allergenic foods to humans - cow's milk [and of course even soy is a foreign protein so it too is a potential allergen - coming with a whole host of problems of it's own!]. The majority of cow’s milk allergies are found in people who were exposed to cow’s milk formula in the first few weeks of life. Recent research has shown that babies given ANY alternate milks, other than breastmilk, in first 4 months have higher rates of asthma.

Cow's milk is well linked to many problems, not least diabetes - to the extent that the NHMRC of Australia even states that cow's milk products should not be introduced before 9 months - one of the reasons being the risk of diabetes ... and formula fed babies ARE at higher risk of childhood type 1 diabetes..... the list goes on but I know you're already tired of reading my ramblings!!

As I said first, I don't write this to invoke guilt or bad feelings about formula feeding. Obviously, in the absence of breastmilk, the only choice is formula feeding - and we can be glad that, if in that situation, there is something we can give our babies to keep them alive! I just feel that formula should not be seen as 'just as good' or 'almost the same' as breastmilk - but as a reasonable alternative, that comes with risks and at a possible cost to our children's health.

[sopolicha]

Personally, I do not have a preference towards bottle feeding or breastfeeding. My first born daughter who was born six weeks premmie was only breastfed for a very brief period of time (probably no longer than 4 weeks when she was fed EBM) and then my next child, a son self weaned at around 10 months. I also reckon that my daughter is far healthier than my son and has certainly had a lot less illness than he did.

I am having another child in early September and I will just see how it goes, if breastfeeding works, it works, if it doesn't, I would just rather that the baby be well nourished.

I know that all research points towards breast being better than bottle, but there is no way anyone is convince a person who has experienced all the difficulties that can arise from breastfeeding eg mastitis, engorgement, low supply, nipple problems etc. and seen their little baby go hungry that breast is best.

Any reasonable person knows this already and in most cases has to deal with the guilt etc. of not being able to breastfeed their baby. What I think is wrong, is way that breastfeeding is pushed down mothers throats continually and that seasoned breastfeeders always seem so smug, and that if you choose not to breastfeed your are made out to be a leper. But that is only my opinion.

It is not the people who feed thier babies the correct formula in bottles that we should worry about it is the ones who put coke and flavoured milk into thier baby's bottle.

I certainly don't think bottle feeding is the easy option. When the decision is made to bottle fed it usually involves some guilt and then what about all the washing and sterilsing and the making up of the bottles and the cost of the bottles and the cost of the formula, not to mention it is less convienent than breast.

Live and let live and leave the bottle feeders alone, god knows there are a lot worse things happening to a lot of other children out there than not being breastfed.

[Kat]

well that is what I seem to have discovered anyway.

This thread I must say I've found interesting - the number of women who feel that breastfeeding is being rammed down their throats and that breast is best is being overdone and too pushed on them.

I am surprised. I have had the opposite situation. Bear with me while I explain, as I'm not going to comment on which I think is better or judge any of you, I think the choice is one of the hardest you'll make as a new parent I really do, having been on the other end of the decision.

Basically I had a lot of problems from about 3 1/2 months to 5 months with breastfeeding my daughter. She was distracted, refusing, acting very hungry etc etc. I chose at the time (but had to constantly re-think) that I wanted to follow the WHO recommendations and continue breastfeeding as long as possible. WELL! the amount of trouble that caused. Other mums both on the forum here and in rl were saying 'just give it up' and 'oh you tried, time to stop'; my CHN was saying 'the first 6 weeks were important, don't worry' - it was just appalling! There was very little support at all for me to continue breastfeeding at all.

From these extremes I am guessing that how / what you feed your baby is one of those parenting things where there is a great divide of opinion and it doesn't matter which one you choose, there will be someone out there telling you personally how wrong you are for that choice.

Its such a shame really as the decisions are not easy to take.

Kat
PS I now run into the comment that "if I'm still breastfeeding then I'm just doing it for my own satisfaction and I need to stop" from my MIL - which I find highly offensive because after 6 1/2 months to be quite honest I'd like my boobs back to myself! however I do believe in the health benefit of breastfeeding not to mention the cost savings and the convenience - well the sort-of convenience - no washing up.

[maybe1more]

I had a lot of trouble trying to breast feed my bub, i lost a lot of blood at the birth which can "delay' your breast milk so there wasnt much there to start of with, so i tryed to express some milk and wondered why it hurt so much and found out that the expresser was set up for TWINS so i got blood blisters and had cracked sore nipples so i found breastfeeding a nightmare, my bub had formula in hospital, so after that i found it so much easier to bottle fed, it took the stress out of me trying to feed bub and then we were all happy, i think personally too that formula fills them up more and makes them sleep better. :) Mum to Connor and trying to concieve bub #2

[Chickadee]

I felt horribly guilty over having to switch to formula, and I think that if I had gotten some good advice at the right times I might not have had to... this is a long post. My apologies, it became a bit cathartic for me. I've very rarely told this in full to anyone.

Once we got over the difficulties of milk coming in, we were going good at breastfeeding. Or so I thought. Feeding on demand, every couple hours. Chloe was gaining weight before we left hospital at 7 days and again at her 3 week check up. By then though we were feeding sometimes every hour during the day. The CHN suggested I was mistaking tiredness for hunger, and maybe I was. Chloe slept more after that, and I didn't feel I was breastfeeding continuously and was actually able to get stuff done. But I wonder if she really was that hungry and that's where the trouble started.

At around 6 weeks, a few days after Christmas I suddenly noticed that Chloe had lost weight. A lot of weight. Her skin was hanging in folds off of her :( We hadn't been doing alot of weighings, either at home or the CHN so I had no idea if it was a sudden loss or had been going on gradually. When I did weigh her I discovered she'd actually dropped back to just below her birth weight! I still can't look at the pictures of her from that christmas. :(

My CHN was unavailable so I phoned the ABA rep. One of her first questions to me was what had I eaten that morning so far. Ummmm... a piece of toast. Obviously not enough when breastfeeding. I still had lots of milk, just not much nourishment in it. I reprioritised, putting myself ahead of everything but Chloe. Started eatting way more, lots of protein, and I think my milk improved almost immediately and Chloe started gaining weight, very slowly, in the first week. And I was weighing her daily at home on electronic scales borrowed from our office lab.

But then in the next week, after New Years, I finally got into to see my CHN. She suggested we put Chloe on some formula bottles, one or two a day, just to get her weight up quickly, and I continue to express to build my milk supply. The first bottle of formula was ok. And the second. After that she refused the breast. Absolutely refused it. The first day she'd latch on and suck one or two times but pull off yelling, presumably because she didn't get the instant result like she did from the bottle. By the third day she wouldn't even latch on, just fought me screaming when I tried. I got an emergency appt with a lactation consultant a few days later who, of course, said "she's not latching on". Well YEAH!! I know!! But she used to! What can we do about it? Nothing apparently. Oh wait... we could have taped a tube to my breast and nipple so that she'd think she was breastfeeding but really be getting formula or EBM through the tube. & maybe eventually she'd go back to breast alone. I looked at the equipment, couldn't imagine actually getting it to work.

I expressed and topped up with formula for 4 to 5 weeks after that. Chloe's paediatrician gave me a prescription (I forget the name of it) to help build milk supply but my heart wasn't in it anymore. I hated being stuck on that machine every 3 to 4 hours. I hated all the washing, sterilising the expressing equipment. My right breast had pretty much dried up so I was getting less and less EBM every time and was always lopsided. I knew I was going back to work in a few months and wouldn't be able to express there - my office has no privacy and damned if I was going to do it in the toilet. So I gave up and went completely to formula.

I wonder alot...
- If I hadn't listened to my CHN at 3 weeks and just waited to see if it was a stage.
- If I hadn't been trying to cope and do it all in the first few months, doing laundry & dishes & going out instead of sitting down and eatting proper meals.
- If I had asked for more help from my husband instead of trying to cope.
- If I had been able to get to a lactation consultant earlier.
- If someone had told me to weigh bub every week (i thought the mums who were doing that were a bit OTT :( ) so that we caught the weight loss sooner.

If we do have another bub I'll give breastfeeding another go. And I'll be ready, this time, to ask for a lot more help a lot sooner. And I'll be getting a second opinion on selected advice!

[Laneisa]

Kat. I found your story very interesting, as like you, I had pressure put on me to give up breastfeeding.

During my pregnancy I was determined to breastfeed. I had breastfed my other child for 8 months with no problems, so I assumed that everything would be ok.

Once Flynn was born, I couldn't believe how difficult it was. I suffered from mastitis, thrush, painful cracked and bleeding nipples, and all this in the first week. I ended up having to feed him EBM as i was so sore, I couldn't stand to let him attach. I would cry in pain at every feed and as he was a screamer, I was getting NO sleep.

I visited a lactation consultant who helped a little, but things went back to being painful. I tried nipple shields which eased the pain dramatically, but Flynn still wasn't attaching properly and they began to hurt. I visited my GP and midwives several times, but nothing seemed to help.

My hubby, friends and even my own mother tried to 'pressure' me into giving him formula. They would say that it would be better for my baby and family, as I (and Flynn) were always crying and getting no sleep.

I was really cranky with them all, as they knew how determined I was to breastfeed and wern't offering me any support. I STUCK WITH IT, and at exactly 6 weeks old things changed. IT WAS A MIRACLE!!!! I saw another lactation consultant who showed me a few tricks and we havn't looked back since. Flynn is still exclusivly breastfed on demand. Sometimes he is unsettled and wants the breast every couple of hours, but I can live with that. He is gaining weight (rapidly) and I will continue to exclusivly breastfeed untill he is 6 months.

I'm extremly lucky I had a very wise aunt who stuck with me through my breastfeeding problems otherwise, who knows, lack of sleep and pain may have led me to give him formula. I can completly understand why women chose to give their babies the bottle.

[Kat]

Martha,

even though I have come through my baby problems with breastfeeding going well now I can so relate to the emotions of your story.

My heart goes out to you that you were put in such an awkward situation by 'professionals' who were although well-meaning have done so much harm to you & your bub (hopefully most of it emotional!)

I too remember that I was told that feeding more than every 3-4 hours was 'bad' and I am just lucky that I listened in this case to my friends / relllies and not the the CHN - they said 'look Kat, you have to live there and if your girl is sleeping through the night then stop worrying about what 'experts' say. Thank goodness for their advice!

I've been interupted, no idea what I was going to say.

Good luck with feeding #2 and with sticking to your own instincts in the future

Kat

[Chickadee]

Thanks Kat. I guess I've been carrying around a lot more guilt than I realised. I'd been debating writing that story out ever since this thread appeared. Started and stopped a couple times. But finally decided that if even a single person reads it and can learn from my mistakes and troubles, then it's worth it.

But Yes, Chloe is now thriving. Although she dropped from the 70% weight curve down to around the 25% (!!) she's stuck on that one and is doing great now. I still worry whether she's eatting enough & have to keep reminding myself that toddlers are too busy and excited to eat much sometimes!

Martha

[Kamaikia]

It took me ages to decide on breast or bottle in the end i decided on bottle from day 1. I always knew that i would never be comfortable breastfeeding a baby in public (even if desceet) and i didn't want to have to go and hide to feed. I coped alot of flak about this choose but i stand by it - i was able to enjoy feeds, my son was settled from day one - I never have sleepless nites and no problem with wind. I think alot of women make the mistake of breastfeeding because thats what they are told to do - and many are left feeling uncomfortable, run down - many have babies who aren't getting enough and not sleeping , making mum tired and distressed which affects baby. Remember formula is made for babies it will not hurt them in aby way at all.

[kamoo]

I changed to formula, whilst I was still in hospital, after 4 days of breastfeeding,

Hi Kirky,

I was so relieved to see your post.

I also went to formula after 4 days for similar reasons and have always felt guilty that I didnt persevere (not so much now as Jarred is 7 weeks old and very healthy). But for my state of mind and Jarred's wellbeing, it was the only choice I could make (I have to keep reminding myself of this).

I had midwives arguing about whether they should let me use a nipple shield or not. In the end one of them snuck a pair in for me, otherwise I was going to have to get my hb to go and buy them. But that also failed in the end as well.

I found the whole c-section, breastfeeding experience messed with my sanity, so much so that I will never have another child.

Anyway, thanks for the post.

I AM NOT ALONE.

Kamoo

[Rell]

Hi Kamoo
I too had the midwifes argueing about nipple shields and I was lucky enough to have a midwife get some for me. Secomd time around I went into the hospital with them. Its sad to hear you had such a bad experiance. I must say for me second time around was much easyer becouse I was more confident that what I was doing was right for both Me and my baby ( I could only BF for 1 week 2nd time around). As you say you have a very healthy boy and that is the most important thing.
Good luck and enjoy your little man.

[Kirky]

Hi Kamoo,

Thanks for your response.

When I look back now (my son is 9 weeks tomorrow), sometimes it is with regret that I didn't persevere. But being a first time mum, and being Day Four and an emotional wreck, I made the decision that was right for me at that time. It was only after I got out of hospital, that I found out all the other options that were never offered to me, like using an electric breast pump to give my nipples a rest and help stimulate my milk to come in. Or breast shields. And I wasn't aware that I could both breast and bottle feed at the same time, I thought it was only one or the other. But hindsight is a good thing!

I had always intended on breastfeeding, but I had this romantic fairytale notion that he would just latch on and suck away and things would be perfect. Little did I know!

Now that I am much more knowledgable about the whole thing, I will try breastfeeding again with my next child, armed with the knowledge I learnt from my 1st.

But all that said, I do not feel guilty whatsoever about bottle feeding. I have a happy healthy 5.8 kg bundle of joy!

Cheers

Kirsty

[kamoo]

Hi Kirsty,

Glad to hear that we are both doing well and Jarred is 8 weeks old today. So there is only a couple of weeks between them both.

Thanks Rell for your response as well.

The reason I state that I am not having another child is mainly because I am 38 and we were blessed with Jarred (was of the understanding that I may or may not be able to have a child in the first place).

I too would be better prepared if I had another child for the saga of breastfeeding. But I am still trying to come to grips with my new life and am not sure whether I like it or not. Love Jarred to death and wouldn't give him up for the world, it is just something I have to get my head around.

Hope to chat again soon.

Karina

[june05isttimer]

Hi there

My bub too is almost 3 weeks old and for the last week or so I have been both breast and bottle feeding. So far things are going pretty well apart from the odd bit of constipation which we seem to be clearing. Poo is green still but soft at and pastey at least !!!!

Although maybe green is normal when mixing breast and bottle ?

I too find it hard to soley breastfeed sometimes, even though it has only been not quite 3 weeks. I find my bubs settles soo much easier after a bottle feed rather than a breastfeed. She seems happier and content for a lot longer and we get more consistent sleeptimes out of her than when she has a breastfeed.

I don;t know im doing the right thing or not and i can say we have our first chn appt tomorrow and im not game in telling them what I am doing as I expect a lecture. I really hope they don't make me feel bad as I feel what Im doing is working my bub as well as me.

Is anyone else doing this??

[sopolicha]

If you are feeling okay about it and your bubby is happy with a bit of boob and a bit of bottle I say go for it.

Don't let the child health nurses intimidate you. Follow your instincts, it is better off that you use a bit of bottle and be calm and peaceful than try to push yourself and breastfeed all the time. I know it is best and all of that, but what good is a worn out, stressed out mum.....no good.

Enjoy it for it is and what works for you.

Good Luck. I was that annoyed with the chn the first time, because of the continual conflicting advice my second child never even saw one, and I can guarantee that my third won't either. Good Luck again and do what is right for you.

[Ana Gram]

I hated breastfeeding right from the start. It probably all started with the staff at the Royal Womens Hospital in Melbourne who I have nothing nice to say about.
Every day was a different nurse with a different opinion on how I was doing it wrong, not even bothering to explain it and grabbing my breasts and nipples and shoving them into my baby's mouth leaving me with bruises.
I was not allowed to leave until my baby put on weight, which only happened when they took her away tutting that she was disturbing everyone else and that I should be able to feed her. I was under the impression that bottle feeding was not an option.

Once I did get home, I started expressing rather than on the breast as i needed some sleep which i got none of at the hospital. When the home visit nurse came I got told off for letting her drink my milk from a bottle as she would have nipple confusion and never latch on to my breast. From that point on it was easier to lie to the health nurse rather than getting told off.

It was almost a relief when my milk dried up after 6 weeks. And from that point on my daughter flourished.

[funnyfarm]

When my daughter was three weeks old, i started formula feeding her. When I was learning to breastfeed her in hospital the midwives told me that she will drop of the nipple when she has finished feeding, so I would be feeding her for about 2 1/2 hours at a time thinking that she hasn't dropped off so she must be still feeding. When she wasn't feeding she would be screaming the whole time, so I would put her back on for more.

After three weeks of this and me in tears all the time due to lack of sleep, I started giving her formula. After giving her formula for a couple of weeks the crying eased off, we realised that she was getting bad wind pains and all the sucking at the breast was making it worse, she was actually using my breast to comfort suck (i was a walking, talking dummy to her). Looking back, if I had pulled her off after 1/2 hour of feeding, she probably would have been alot more settled and got less wind.

I now know all this next time when breastfeeding but will also not be as worried about using formula if I feel that it is best.

[jess09]

hi my name is jess i have a 6month old baby girl who was born by c section.I breast fed for 4 days but it hurt to much with my scar and because i couldnt really move and my uterus was contracting again.so that is my reason for bottle feeding,and when you think about it when they are teethin and getting teeth it doesnt hurt cause they r bitting the teet.lol
jess

[Shazbutt]

I am another mum who just has to say how good it is to hear about some other mothers who think that bottle feeding is alright!

I had an emergency caeser with my first child, and that in itself made it harder to feed, because of the extra pain, but also, i had trouble getting Mackenzie to latch on, my breasts are small, and they got so hard when my milk came in, that it made it harder for the poor bub to feed.... I also did not like it, it just didn't feel right to me, and she could probably feel that through me.

I hated the the way the midwives just grabbed me and shoved my boob in her mouth, its like a violation of your privacy in a way (does that soundstupid?) :confused:

In the end i wasn't making enough milk and bub was losing way too much weight and not sleeping at all. I remember waking up to feed her in the middle of the night and crying out of sheer frustration!! I started to resent her and that was the last straw...as soon as i put her on the bottle, she slept for 4 hours straight, and it was all good from there, she put on weight like you wouldn't believe...but even when she was losing weight the CHN was telling me to persevere!!!

This time around (in early August), i am bottle feeding from the start, i have told the midwives at the hospital already so i don't have to argue the point when i'm in there, and the one i talked to said "that's fine dear"....wonders will never cease!

In the end i think its up to the mother to do what she feels is best for both the bub and HER, an unhappy mother makes for an unhappy baby...


Shannon - 24

Hubby Trevor - 33
Mackenzie Grace - 30/6/03

Expecting No 2 - 9/10/11 August 05

[mattias'mom]

I too felt the overwhelming pressure to breastfeed. I had an emergency c-section and was in a lot of pain. I had no idea what I was doing when it came to breastfeeding and I felt that no one in the hospital was consistent with their advice on breastfeeding. Every nurse that came in showed me a different way to feed and by the end of the first day I just felt frustrated that the nurses were not consistent in their techniques. I had a lot of blood lose therefore had a problem with my milk supply coming in. No one told me of this at the start and my son was constantly hungry. I would feed for 2+ hours and he would still be hungry. My nipples cracked and bled and I was in so much pain whenever he would latch. Finally we just told them to feed him formula cause I just couldn't handle it anymore and of course they encouraged (I more felt like they were chasitising) us to keep up with the breastfeeding. We firmly said no that I couldn't take it anymore and surprise surprise they found that our son was starving because I wasn't producing enough milk. I did continue breastfeeding and still do (my son is 5 1/2 months) but in the first couple of months I supplimented him with formula usual one bottle in the afternoon. I found that he was much more satisfied and I was able to actually get up off of the couch and do something rather than being confined to it. After about 2 months went by his feedings slowed down and I now mainly exclusively breastfeed but the guilt that I felt for supplimenting him with formula was overwhelming. My husband would even tell me I should breastfeed rather than give him a bottle because he felt so bad too by the way the nurses pounded it into our heads to breatfeed. Now our son has thrived very well (he is 19 and a half pounds and 27 inches tall at 5 months). I think we made the right decision for our family and I think you should just do what you think is best for you and for your baby. I just wish that the nurses in the hospital didn't make us moms feel so bad for choosing to bottlefeed or to suppliment. Sorry this is so long I just wanted to share our experience. :D

[red crayon]

Hi, mums. I've been reading this thread with interest. I wanted to and have been able to breastfeed but I also supplemented the boob with formula in the beginning. What I wanted to say is that it makes me angry reading about the unpleasant experiences that so many of you have had and about how people have made you feel guilty. In the end, the decision to breast or bottle feed is a private one and it peeves me that such a personal decision becomes so public. It's made me think about all the decisions that women have to make in their lives (to have kids or not have kids, to use childcare or not use childcare, stay at home or go back to work etc etc) and about how these decisions always make it into the public arena - whether it be through family, the media or politicians - and all of a sudden private decisions become fodder for public discussion. The end result is always a bunch of mums feeling bad. What gives? Why are women's live so open to judgement? Phew...better get off the soapbox now...all power to mums and all power to doing what is right for you and your family!

[bb]

I was so happy to read these letters and stories about bottle feeding. What an issue it is !! Prior to the arrival of Master Hamish, people were asking me two questions...

Q1) Are you going to have a natural birth ?
A1) If I can, but I am not making any promises. I was happy to see what happened throughout the birth, and to make any decisions at the time (with the guidance of my Obstetrician). AND, is it anyone's business but mine and my
husband's ? I think NOT !!

and ...

Q2) ... which is really the point of me writing all of this ... Are you going to breast feed ?
A2) If I can, but I am not going to beat myself up about it. (AND dare I say it, yet again, is it any of their business ???)

Now, this lead to many ... (and I mean many) interesting and sometimes aggressive conversations with friends, relatives, and people at the hospital. What a can of worms I opened with that answer, and I never even said that I wasn't going to breast feed. It all made me feel gallons of pressure. Add to that the lady at a pre-birth, breast feeding lesson, who started the lesson with the words "95% of people can breast feed ... so many women who can, just don't and that is very selfish as it is putting their babies at risk". Cow !

Anyway ... I breast fed my son for about 2 weeks (as in ... he only had breast milk). At this point, he would cry about half an hour after being fed, and generally he never seemed very "content". I had the image of the baby "drunk with milk" etched in my mind, and my little man never ... and I mean never ... looked like that !!

At about this point in time, he had not really gained much weight, so my husband and I ran an expreriment. For 24 hours, I expressed breast milk, and my husband gave Hamish formula. Each time he had a feed, I expressed.

Experiment over, we came to a frightening realisation. Hamish fed every hours, and in that time, I was making 20ml of breastmilk. My poor little angel was starving ! At this point in time, my husband and I decided to switch to formula. We gave him formula bottles through the day, and I expressed after each feed. At the end of the day, he then had a bottle of expressed breast milk (what we called "an expresso"). Strange as it may seem, suddenly my little man started to gain weight, become content, and sleep peacefully. Within a few days, he slotted perfectly into a routine, and he has been on it ever since !

To date, he is a beautifully healthy and happy little man, who has never looked back since the moment we made this change. I am just glad that we were not afraid to go against what so many people were telling us to do.

That's about it - our reasons (and a few examples of late night ranting and raving) for opting for the bottle !

B

[hayfilfy]

Hi there,

My twins were both breastfed until Brooklen was diagnosed at 6 weeks with severe Lactose Intolerance. Feeding her would have burnt her stomach lining and the acids had already begun to do this.

She was placed on S26-LF and has been ever since.
I finished feeding my son Hayden at 11 weeks and he too is on the LF formula with Brooklen.

My dream was to feed them until they were one but not everything turns out as it should....at least I can say I tried and am proud of myself for it. :D

Best of luck with feeding your baby/ies... ;)

[tobysmum]

Hi guys I am sure glad that I found this thread. My story is a lot like MarthaM's. I fed my first bub for 12 months with no problems at all. Things started off much the same this time around. My little girl was very unsettled but I knew my supply was good and attachment was fine and everyone just said some babies are like that and your first one was so good so you were bound to get a bad one. She was pretty foul for 6 weeks then settled right down and was sleeping like a dream and so calm and happy and I was very relieved! Then after a few weeks I noticed she was looking a bit thin, then she stopped feeding all together. I took her to my gp who said whack her on formula I wasn't happy with that as I was more worried abut why she wouldn't feed and why she had lost weight when I was pretty sure she was getting enough to eat. I went to the chc and when they weighed her they freaked out and sent us to a&e at the childrens hospital. They did a heap of tests and sent me home telling me to feed her and top her up with ebm if I didn't think she had fed long enough. We had a follow up in a week. She had been feeding well and I was confident she had gained but was horrified to find that she had lost even more. The chc sent me back to hospital. They moved my paeds appointment forward and told me to bf no longer than 10 mins and to comp with 100mls formula every feed. In 3 days she had gained 300g. Huge relief but what was going on? The only explanation was that while I had plenty of milk there was nothing in it. I could continue to do both but couldn't take the chance to solely bf. I was suprised by how much I cared about bfing but doing both was taking all my time and I had no time left for just playing with my kids and mr 2yo was starting to show the signs of it. I also had few of the advantages of bfing as I still had to sterilize bottles,prepare bottles and buy formula so I decided to stop feeding. Prior to this when any friends couldn't bf for any reason I would say don't worry about it ,it doesn't matter,whatever is best for bub but now I understand how upsetting it can be not to be able to provide food for your own baby yourself. Not every one feels this way obviously but as it turns out I did and I'm sure I am not the only one.

[Nicpolsta]

I hope that some devoted breastfeeders also read this page so that they can try and understand some of the guilt that is layed on us bottlefeeders. I tried and tried but nothing happened, and i felt the guilt overwhelmingly.
I have many friends that are breastfeeders and when we all get together i end up feeling like a total failure because i couldnt. I find myself distanting from these friends because of this reason only!!
Well my bub is now five months old ,she is above average in both height and weight and is having solids twice a day, she has slept through the night since six weeks and is in a solid routine.
She may not have my boobs but she still has my undivided attention and is a happy and calm baby.
Anyway I just needed to vent.
Oh one more vent
Just because I intend to go back to work does not also make me a terrible mother. I have a career and earn alot more money than my dh, our daughter wi ll be able to have a great life with cool holidays and hobbies and sports will be able to be paid for. We can spend our weekends out in the boat and enjoy life. I dont want a life on a strict budget. I do not have any issue with mothers who can stay at home, i am just saying that those that are opinionated on working mothers should keep their opinions to themselves.
There, I have vented enough.
Thanks for listening

[JoJoMart]

I had every intention of BF my son when he was born......like my birth, things didn't work out as I had hoped! I had an emergency caesarean after a 20 plus labour (induced) that didn't progress as Liam was stuck. I went through loads of pain before an epi then I also had bad back labour......

Anyway, my milk was slow to come in and by the time I left hospital I had cracked nipples and was only expressing 20mls each time. This slowly built up to 50mls each express plus BF Liam. Liam lost 450g in hospital so needed to be FF as well as BF to gain weight. He is now nearly 12 weeks old and I have recently pretty much weaned him onto Formula for ALL of his feeds as BF didn't work out. I persevered with BF, then topping up nearly every feed as he wasn't satisfied. I also expressed, so you can imagine how much work this is. The maternal child health nurses have all pushed me to continue except for one who said it's much easier to 'either' BF or bottle feed and was supportive and encouraging me to make a decision.

Next time I would like to BF but I will demand more help from the nurses at the hospital and will be better informed on how to get my milk supply up early as it's never been enough for Liam.

[meme]

it's great that mums are finding this thread to be a good place to share and release feelings around your bresatfeeding/lbottlefeeding stories and you'll all prolly kick me outa here as i am one of the passionate breastfeeders:wave:

i am always horrified at some of the experiences that people have gone through to brestfeed. i just can't believe that health prpoffessionals can be so uncaring in their actiosn sometimes and not have some more empathy wiht mothers.

but what's really a concern for me is the misunderstandings and myths of breastfeeding that seem to still be talked about like facts.

many mums here talk of measuring mik volume from amounts expressed, yet the amount of milk expressed by a pump and the amount of milk that can be drained from the breast by a well attached baby can be huge. many successful breastfeeders can't pump a drop!


and when you think about it when they are teethin and getting teeth it doesnt hurt cause they r bitting the teet.lol breastfed babies do occasionally bite the boob that feeds them, but not continuosly lol they are suckling at the breast, not biting.


I think alot of women make the mistake of breastfeeding because thats what they are told to do - and many are left feeling uncomfortable, run down - many have babies who aren't getting enough and not sleeping , making mum tired and distressed which affects baby. Remember formula is made for babies it will not hurt them in aby way at all.
women are given information about breastfeeding, information that tells them this would be a good thing for their child and women want to do good things for there child, i don't think it's a mistake to attempt to breastfeed. but i undrestand that you are referring to the pressure women feel to breastfeed at all costs. to my mind there is a bit of a difference.
there are risks to using formula, remember formula is made for babies as a substitute for when breastmilk is not available, in some cases it can adversly affect babies health, this risk needs to be known and balanced up against other risks like a depressed mum or whatever the case maybe. obviously in many peoples stories here that risk has been nothing compared to what was being risked by continueing to breastfeed, but that doesn't mean it doesn't exist.


i think personally too that formula fills them up more and makes them sleep better.
myths like this one continue to survive. cows milk formula is harder to digest than breastmilk and that may make it seem like a baby is more settled. unfortunately that may be because the immature digestive system is working hard to digest the formula. different babies have different sleeping habits regardless of how they are fed.


it turned out that my milk was not concentrate enough while it's true that our diet and how we look after ourself can play a role in milk supply and production it is very rare that a mothers mik is "not concentrate enough". even women in poorer communities manage to breastfeed successfully, in fact there are many things that they have apart from good nutrition that seem sadly lacking in our society.
like confidence. many of these stories start out with an ambivelent attitude toward breastfeeding, if i can i can, if i can't i'll just use formula. having confidence in breastfeeding is a real ingredient in getting the hang of it.
seeing the reality of life with a baby. we are so removed from babies in our society. i hardly held a newborn till i had my own. we don't grow up seeing breastfeeding. to have a crying baby and then get our boobs manhandled is just disgraceful and should not happen. breastfeeding needs to be learnt, and needs to be taught to us everywhere in society. so we don't have these problems.
there is a breastfeeding association in australia, yet in a thread about weaning from the breast and related bresatfeeding problems i think i have seen them mentioned only once. many mums here wanted to breastfeed but were letdown ( no pun intended) by unhelpful comments, cr@ppy support or out of date information.
some mothers just didn't like or want to breastfeed, that's fine too and living as we do in a society where bottlefeeding is still in the majority, i can understand why mums feel uncomfy with it. bresats are seen so much as sexual things that are at odds with mothering and feeding a baby.
breastfeeding is an important thing for our society, it's not the be all and end all of mothering, but it is important and i think that it's important to hear stories like yours so that we can better support all mothers in their own individual choices regarding infant feeding.

[JoJoMart]

meme - I agree with everything you're saying. If I had my time over I would have done things differently and wish I had read more while I was pregnant about BF and establishing a good supply instead of reading all about labour, birth etc.

[Loldami]

:yes: I couldn't agree more JoJo, I had a similar experience - not enough milk for my son (also 12 weeks). We've been topping up since day 3 in the hospital (due to dangerously low blood sugar,then no weight gain for 4 weeks after that). I'm persevering with breast and bottle feeding but am no longer expressing - there's no time to look after him properly doing all this!!

I'm going to keep at it until we've both had enough, my ECHC nurses are actually nudging me towards weaning (well supporting me anyway). Maybe that's why I'm still at it. It's so important to surround yourself with encouraging folk!

[hayles86]

I didnt have much choice. I gave up at 6months and this is after DD not putting weight on for 2.5months and her not wanting me anymore. I seen my hcn and she said DD was fine and not to give her solids and this was at 4months of age. I then went and seen my doc who i really like and she has a little one 4-6months older then DD. We weighed her and she still hadnt put any weight on. By this stage i was really worried and DD was drinking all the time. So we started her on solids to see if that would help. Well it didnt and she didnt start finally putting on weight until she was 6months old when i put her on formula. My doc and I chose to put DD on solids at 4months otherwise it would have been formula instead. Im very glad i gave up on breastfeeding because now DD is a healthy 10kg 9month old :)

[Little Gorilla]

many successful breastfeeders can't pump a drop!

OH MY GOD! is that really true!!!.....that is one of the main reasons I stopped breast feeding...I could hardly pump 30mls of milk!!!!!

Ok, now I feel sick :barf: and angry:banghead:

Well, that shows you how being uninformed, and under educated and unsupported when it comes to breast feeding leds to>>>>>>bottle feeding....in MY situation.

[Nowhere]

Wow this thread is still going
I have never posted in here because i was woried anything i put will be pulled to pieces and i will be thrwon quates and statistics left right and centre but today i thought i would i know some people may pull it to bits but others may find it helpfull so here goes

why mienzee isnt breastfed, she was born at 35.5 weeks and taken straight to the SCN as she was having dificulty breathing she was in a the incubator and was being fed through a NG tube as any sucking time tyers them out and as was oxygen dependent that wasnt a good idea, after a the first few days i atemted to BF and she pulled away arched her back and screamed horendously and went blue at the time i didnt know it but i do now she had servere reflux and protein intoerlance, she also had tongue tie and a high arch in her palet and had litle to no suck so as she was trying to feed all that was haoening was the litle bit she did get was refluxing on her and mixing with the tummy acid was casueing her to be in pain, she had lost a lot of weight in the first few days as distress burns calories with a neonate, i spoke woth a lactation consultant and she watched me try and feed kenzee and saw the dificulty she was having so she sugested i express and feed her with a bolte so i tried to do so and as she had not been sucking properly when i atempted to feed her my milk had not come it i continued to tr and express and she was alsoon formular top ups through the NG she also however fussed at the botle and would not drink barely anything from that either it turned out she was not only intolerant to BM ut als normal formualr so she is now on neocate and that is all she has

Do i regret that i didnt BF NO would i do thing diferently if i did it again yes i would have put her on Neocate from day one i would not have alowed breast milk or normall formular any where near her as she got esophagitus from the protein in the BM and from the milk formular


She is now one hundred percent tube fed on neocate formular due to major GI disorders and to me the question of breast or botle is totlay irelevant, and the way i see it wether your baby is breast botle tube or TPN fed i dont hink it maters in the sceem of theing as long as you are doing the best you can in with the circaumstanes you are in then your a good mum

[missie_mack]

Hiya
I had borderline pre eclampsia during my pregnancy which never helped. On my due date my Grandmother had a stroke and was admitted into the emergency department meanwhile I was upstairs having my blood tested and blood pressure monitored. I was lead to believe that they would never let me go overdue but it wasn't until two weeks later that I was induced. I did over 20 hours of labour before they realised that for various reasons I would need a c section. I was on the table 5 minutes after they made this decision. Meanwhile all the time I was in hospital my Grandmother (who I was extremely close to) wasn't recovering. My milk supply still hadn't came in when I left on day 4. The hospital midwifes were telling me I would have to go home without my baby unless I bottle fed. I demanded to speak with administrators as I was furious. I went home late that afternoon with DS. The next morning my Grandmother died without meeting him. I perservered. I was waking him up to breastfeed every 2 hours. Every other hour I pumped on an electric pump I hired from the ABA. I got tablets from my GP. I tried all other remedies. We had skin to skin days I took herbal supplements I fed him in the bath and still I pumped and pumped. At 3 weeks old we lost one of my close friends unexpectedly to cancer- she had only been diagnosed some 6 weeks earlier. She too never met my son. At 6 weeks he wasn't putting on the required weight. Then he got a throat infection and refused the breast. I contacted the ABA advising that I was only pumping 30mls a day and that I was sup feeding and often was out of supply while he was still hungry. They told me to stop the supp feeding and then he lost more weight. So I gave in. I started bottle feeding.

I tend to find myself constantly on the defensive to breast feeders. Even excluded. There were a few mothers groups I tried where I found the majority were BF's and they were just a little weird with me.

Someone else commented that it's something to do with society. If that is a real issue it doesn't apply to me. My mother is very pro breastfeeding. She breastfed her last child until he was 18 months old. I grew up with breastfeeding everywhere. My aunts all have at least 4 children (and I have more than 2 aunts) and they all breastfed without shame infront of me as I grew up. My issues have been good for my family as they have now realised that it isn't so easy for everyone and sometimes just never works properly. I'm a member of the ABA- I get their brochures in the mail every so often. I read them. Most of it doesn't apply to me. I often read the comments against bottle feeders and just shake my head.

I may have been a little ambivalent about my responses when asked if I planned to BF when I was pregnant but then I hadn't tried it. I learnt early on in my pregnancy to keep an open mind and setting your mind on something as being the only way to do it could lead to bitter disappointment. I will be just as ambivalent next pregnancy. I again plan to try and see how I go. I will do a few things differently and see how I go.

[kiah]

My milk dried up so i had to give her something. A bottle seemed like a good idea.

[danielle13]

My DD self-weaned around 7-8 weeks so it was either formula or nothing.

[CaelsMum]

I stopped breastfeeding when Cael was about 8 wks due to constant nipple infections and days where Cael would want to feed continually and then be sick. From as soon as he was born I had trouble breastfeeding as Cael would fall asleep immediately when I would try to feed him and then not feed.

What I found most annoying is that doctors and clinic nurses naturally kept pushing breastfeeding and it was almost like they wouldn't let me stop - they would not give me any information on bottlefeeding at all.

Since bottlefeeding however, I never looked back and Cael has done well. If I have another baby, I am seriously considering going straight to bottlefeeding because of my previous experience.

[allysophia]

What I found most annoying is that doctors and clinic nurses naturally kept pushing breastfeeding and it was almost like they wouldn't let me stop - they would not give me any information on bottlefeeding at all.



Its hard for health professionals. On a different thread they're being accused of pushing the bottle too much!

[Duchessa]

OH MY GOD! is that really true!!!.....that is one of the main reasons I stopped breast feeding...I could hardly pump 30mls of milk!!!!!

Ok, now I feel sick :barf: and angry:banghead:

Well, that shows you how being uninformed, and under educated and unsupported when it comes to breast feeding leds to>>>>>>bottle feeding....in MY situation.

oh BubbaGanoush, that was such a sad post! Huge hug to you :hugs:

And meme - your post was brilliant.

[Little Gorilla]

And meme - your post was brilliant.

meme, your posts are always brilliant...I love the way you write things in a post without at all being judgmental to any one.

i find your posts thought prevoking and very informative:)

ps I wish I had had someone like you to ask breast feeding questions to nearly 2.5 years ago:gloomy:

[Little_Toad]

I have 4 reasons,

1. I never felt the urge to want to breast feed.
2. I use a medication that says not to breastfeed.
3. I have a severe milk allergy and would react very badly to breastmilk or any milk on my skin.. ie. death. (toadlet is on soy milk)
4. Want other people to be able to feed toadlet as well.

[3boyzmum]

I had to bottle feed as my boobs don't work, I couldn't produce colustrum (sp?) let alone milk don't know why guess I'm just a freak, my boys would have starved if I didn't have the formula option.

[meme]

ps I wish I had had someone like you to ask breast feeding questions to nearly 2.5 years ago

ask the people at www.breastfeeding.asn.au

i know they get a bad rap at times, but there's a lot of different mothers involved, it's a big association, if you don't like the first person you speak to, speak to someone else and have another go.





Someone else commented that it's something to do with society. If that is a real issue it doesn't apply to me.

yeah that was prolly me missy mack. i'm so glad you shared your story, sounds like you went to hell and back, it must have been very upsetting to lose a loved one at the same time as welcoming a child, ontop of all the stress your health was under.
no wonder you had struggles. more and more i see how much our birth experiences can influence our breastfeeding experiences.

i do think the issue of society is a very real issue. i'm glad you grew up surrounded by supportive people, i hope that that support was there for you even when breastfeeding didn't work out how you'd hoped it would.
i also grew up surrounded by breastfeeding, yet i know that outside of family and friends, i live in a society where the majority of mothers have weaned from the breast by the time their baby is 6mths old.

in a more breastfeeding friendly society, perhaps your birth experience would have been different, one that better facilitated the breastfeeding relationship, does that explain better what i mean about society being more 'breastfeeding friendly'? it's not a direct thing, but an indirect one that affects so many levels of our life.
society may not have played a personal role in your story, you had very real issues with your health and your baby's health and formula was a very real solution.

but on a large scale, to see so many women having so many issues with breastfeeding points to a real failing in our society, we are not supporting women as well as we could to breastfeed.

i'm so glad that you are still a member of ABA, as i think they are an important group to suport being one of the few groups that exist for support and are obviously struggling to cover what is such a huge need. i admit i read the mag from a different point of veiw, obviously, but i haven't noticed any negative letters or articles about bottlefeeding, in fact one of the things that attracted me to them when i had my first baby was the huge range of all types of mums, when i first went to a meeting i met another young mum ( who was bottlefeeding actually ) and we remained friends for about 5 years until she moved. i also met my gp and one of my teachers there:o . i must admit, the first counsellor there who helped me i didn't like much at all as she just seemed to want to tell me what i was doing wrong - but i soon found out they weren't all like that.

[OllieBear]

:smiliedance: I am so glad that I found this thread, every post made is so supportive of bottle feeding mothers and there should be more of it. I had problems with both my babies when it came to bfing. Both bubs lost more than 10% of their weight in the first few days and seemed to want to feed within 5min of the last feed which could last to up to 1 and 1/2 hours. I felt like I was about 5min away from post natal depression that my decision to bottle feed was a quick one. I exhausted nearly every avenue for help to bf, my thought was that I didn't have enough milk as both bubs would feed for so long and not settle after, but from most people I was told that I had plenty of milk, and to just perservere with the feeding routine (yeah right, even cows get a break ocassionaly). I stopped bfing and switched to formula and found instant relief. Both bubs would settle after each feed (apart from their usuall awake time) and it was only taking me up to 1/2 hr to feed bubbas. Switching was the best decision I ever made, although not without a lot of crying and feeling like a failure as a woman, due to the advice given by "bfing experts".

[~Kimba~]

I was breastfeeding till 8 months. I had supply issues from day 1 and no matter what I did (diet, medication, expressing round the clock) I never had 'enough' and DS wasn't gaining any weight in the first month. So on the advice of LC I continued BFing but also had to comp feed with a little bit of formula through a supply line, and then later he got topups through a bottle.

With LOTS of hard work bub was mostly breastfed till 8 months, but when I went back to work my supply just fizzled away, even though I was pumping 2-3 times a day at work and BFing morning and afternoon and several times a night. After 2 of months of this, my supply dropped to just about nothing so after a couple more weeks of frustration, and worse, a hungry bub, I conceded 'defeat' and eventually had to switch to the bottle full time.

I really miss breastfeeding and it makes me so sad that I couldn't continue till bub self-weaned, but I know I did the best I could in the situation I was in, so I try not to dwell on it.

[HollyHotLips]

I was all ready to breastfeed when William was born, but I had no idea how difficult it was going to be. He wouldn't latch on and suck properly and I would spend up to an hour with midwives grabbing my breasts and my son and trying to get them together while I just sat there and tried to keep out of the way. Eventually we had some success with a nipple shield, but he was always still hungry after a feed, which usually took over an hour. After expressing one day we discovered I was producing about 40ml - this to satisfy a 4.4kg baby! We started topping him up with formula and after 2 days he started rejecting even the nipple shield.



This is similar to my expereince, except the nipple sheild didnt work either so I'd sit there for 20 minutes each boob and express just a few tiny mls!!! In the end I just had enough, the pressure the midwives put you under was enormous - even when my DH told them the decision was made and DD would be bottlefed I still had a midwife putting on the guilt trip at 6am in the morning...! :thumbsdown:

Since we started the bottles (on day three!) she turned into a completely different baby, much more content and feeding was a pleasant experience rather than a traumatic and stressful one for us both.

Next time, I'll just go straight to the bottle!

[mumstar]

with aiden, i had trouble with him latching on but we worked through that, i was feeling quite comfortable with b/feeding but then we had a really stressful time in my family where my nan died and 4 days later my pop died... with everything that was going on durng that my supply dried up over night... i couldn't believe it no flow at all.. so i put him on bottle... like a week later it came flooding back but he had well adjusted to the bottles by then and didn't want a bar of my booby anymore...

with noah i put him on the bottle earlier because i kept having bout after bout of mastitis and it was unbearable!

[bambino]

DS was actually breastfed for the first 6 months and then he self weaned.
I find bottle feeding just as rewarding and a great experience to share with DH.
He enjoys giving bubs a bottle more so than watching me BF DS. He said he felt useless while I was BF and that he felt leftout of the feeding process.
I enjoyed BF bubs but like I said he self weaned and in all honesty I haven't looked back.
I like FF bubs.

[bossoflatch]

after her biopsies came back last week it show my bubs has oesophagitus.. from what they are not sure .. it looks like allergies but all those biospies came back clear... but she is patchy and burnt in her oesophagus.. :thumbsdown:

so haviing been on an exclusion diet for over 4 months now.. and after discussing with her pead gi specialist we have decided to feed her with pepti jr fulltime now ..

it is really hard as i have milk there but she gets so upset .. we are trying the pepti fulltime and see how that goes if that continues to upset her she will be going neocate...

just a quick question though.. does anyone still breastfeed occasionally .. to keep up a little supply???

[~rambox~]

I just couldnt bring myself to breastfeed. I am all for BF i have many friends that do and i commend them for it but i personally couldnt do it

[Mum2Callumand3crazycats]

I could see this thread was still going after a couple of years and wanted to add my story.

My baby boy Callum is now 15 weeks old and doing very well. We had a horrible time with breastfeeding. Born by emerg c/section after 30 hours of labour, he was a healthy 3.8kg (8lb/7oz). I always thought i'd b/f, no questions asked, i knew it was best for health and 'natural'. The alternative of formula was always sightly posted as something bad mothers/failures do. Cal took straight to breast, sucked and attached well (so i was told by midwives), but by time milk came in, nipples were so sore, cracked and bleeding, it was excruciating. My nails were dug into pillow whenever he fed and he would cry and cry for hours after feed, in hindsight, think he was hungry and would also throw up blood - it was truly horrible. Could not get help and so much conflicting advice from midwives, i was surrounded ny trained professionals in hospital, but felt more alone than ever in my life. No one tells you it could be like this. Anyway, last straw was uncaring harsh midwife grabbing my so so sore breast and shoving into Cal's mouth & then telling me it was a pity as i had a good supply and Cal attached well - i needed to decide for myself and hen with my reluctant permission she gave him bottle of formula and said 'see, he was hungry". I was so dissapointed in situation and hospital care. Followed was miserable 6 weeks at home of expressing, formula top ups and occassional attachment to breast. After visit to Gp, found i had thrush all that time, prob followed from antibiotics after op and lack of sleep in hosp, can;t believe it wasn't suggested earlier. The thrush and ongoing pain from it was worse than labour/op and made m life nightmare. Couldn't find support anywhere and felt like no one understood my pain. ABA counsellor just said persist, felt if could resolve thrush, things would improve, but it proved fully resistant and thus weaned at 6 weeks & never looked back. Cal is healthy and happy and our relationship improved as i have more time for him when not expressing day and night and so tired. Worst thing though was the lack of support from org's and chat forums. I was blasted on one site where not a single Mum understood and were all way OTT about BF and didn't understand, just criticised me. I felt guilty, horrible and so unsupported. People don't understand it isn't an easy choice but i'm mostly over the guilt and was just thrilled to read this post and such support for those who for one reason or other are bottle feeding. Well done to you all, you have my support during what is a hard time for new Mum's.

[nugglyboysmum]

i switched DS to formula when he was 5 weeks old.

I was always going to bf and was looking forward to it and armed myself with all the knwledge i could find. In the first week i had cracked sore nipples and a painful let downa nd afterpains, but i gritted my teeth and kept it up. When DS was 3 weeks old it was discovered that he needed an op on his tummy and had to be nil by mouth for three days and two nights. Nobody offered me any advice on expressing whatsoever so i just did my best to keep up my supply and prevent mastitis. After the op DS had servere reflux and would constantly spew between feeds and was feeding every 1.5 hours for up to 2 hours at a time. I was exhausted and starting to resent him for putting me through the feeds. One day i decided it was ridiculous to keep crying through each feed and dreading DS waking up so i ust switched to formula. I felt extreme guilt and still do actually and he is 16 months old and very healthy and happy.

Once i started ffing i looked forward to eacha nd every feed and actually got excited to feed him. DH loved it as he could have special feeding time with DS too. There wree moments when bfing that were the most magical special moments of my life but i feel ffing was the bet decision for my spewy hungry baby.

We are ttc#2 and i often wonder whether or not i will try bfing again, when i think of the good times when bfing i think i have to try again, but when i think of the pain and exhaustion of constant feeds i think id rather go staright to formula....who knows what i'll do, don't know if i can handle the guilt of not bfing again.....

Its great to see a supportive ff thread!

PS The only sickness DS has had since birth is Hand Foot and Mouth at 15 months old and it was only very mild, and one cold that lasted 4 days, at 13 months.

[xpress2]

I switched to forumla when DS was 11 days old. Now, don't get me wrong! I had every intention of breastfeeding.... I was doing fantastically... But what I didnt realise was that DS wasn't getting enough milk - My milk supply just wasn't happening.... So, after several days at the Mater Children's Hospital with concerns because of DS's dramatic weight loss, I decided to switch to formula.. The best decision I ever made...

DS's health was my number one priority, and if that meant him having forumla, so be it! :D Glad to see such a supportive thread...

[JorBai]

With DS1 he just would not latch and I became stressed about it and expressed but dur to low supply I still had to supplement with formula so I just gave up in the end after about 3 weeks of expressing and him not ever latching.

With DS2 he latched on very soon after birth and appeared to feed well. I felt confident and got the latch happening really well but my milk never came in and he would be on the boob nearly 24 hours a day and was not gaining any weight at all. He was constantly unsettled and generally not happy. After 10 days of exclusive round the clock bfing my milk had not come in.

I decided to give him formula and we saw an instant change. I was on the verge of depression as he was constantly unsettled. I couldnt enjoy being a mum again and I was neglecting DS1 because I was constantly feeding(or at least thinking I was) DS2.

Thank god for formula I say!

[Mum2Callumand3crazycats]

Ladies,

Thank you for supportive responses, it is making me feel much better. This kind of chat is quite therapeutic after miserable memories of b/f. It is very reassuring to read others stories. Finally i have found a chat forum where mothers support other f/feeding mothers - up until now it's been quite a let down (pardon the pun).

Now must get onto finding out more about this 4 month sleep regression. I was starting to worry about my boy waking up at night but have read that at 4 months they can have a kind of sleep regression and in the weeks leading up to it - yikes.

Thanks again !!

[Mischief]

I chose to switch to formula because of really bad depression related to breastfeeding.

I had a ruff time having Oliver, then afterwards got PND.

I HATED breast feeding, it made me feel so depressed, dirty, and abused, but I was so sure that it was something I HAD to do for my son.

I BF and expressed for the first month, then expressed exclusively for the next 3 months. But at the end of that time I was hanging on by an extreamly thin thread, and was suicidal. It would take me 2 hours to express Olivers feed, and I would spend all day in my dressing gown and refuse to go anywhere because I felt so down.

Dr and Hubby told me I had to stop, so we switched to formula.

It wasnt fun switching. Oliver didnt take well to formula, his tummy didnt like it much at all. It was horrible watching my little man feeling sick, and I felt like the worst mum in the world.

But now he is nearly 17 months old, healthy, strong, and energetic. I know that in the end I made the right choice for my son and myself.

[Mum2Callumand3crazycats]

Hi Mischief,

I'll have to type quickly as Mr has just woken up. What a hard time you had and such pressure to b/f, i really feel for you. I'm glad you are feeling better now and had help to make that decision to switch over to formula and the fact that both you and your baby are happy now is the best outcome.

Well done to you for coming through the other end of that dark time !!

[bossoflatch]

i only just found this thread..

We moved to formula fulltime at 5 1/2 months.. heartbreaking for me at the time.. actually still is to be honest.. i so wanted to breast feed her for 12 months.. i am just so grateful we got to 5 1/2 months

my dd has health issues.. after posting on the breast feeding threads unsuccessfully asking for tips and suggestions (yes i got about 2 feedbacks but not many have experience breast feeding a child like mine !!- this isnt a dig at the bf mummies .. i am just tring to explain my frustration at the time !! ) i had to make the heart renching decision to put my bubs on neocate formula fulltime (the pead said he couldnt tell me to stop breast feeding - no doctor can !! but felt it was the right thing to do in my dd's case )

she is still in diagnosis stage but the docs seem to think she has eosinophilic esophagitis (allergic esophagitus ) and fpies (food protein induced entercolotis syndrome ) and severe reflux becuase of all this !! we should get some answers soon - the problem is that ee cant be diagnosed until they find certain eos in the blood ? she has everything but so they believe it is still in the immature stages -

The decision was left to us to breast feed or not .. i was on an elimination diet since she was 4 weeks old _ excluded everything from diary, soy , nuts , fish , eggs, wheat and anything else likely to cause her problems ) and she was still screaming day and night ... still refluxing all the time .. she wouldnt sleep .. couldnt lie flat .... producing acid all this time and seeing her in all the pain even whilst still being on a large amount of antacid and pump prohibitor medication and her endoscope showed she was severly burnt in her oesophagus :crying: how could i keep doing this to my baby .. nobody could tell me what to do .. we eliminated everything they told us too, so we decided to put her on neocate full time.. .

thankfully for us .. she took the formula (it tastes disgusting and usually the babies dont like it ) and within a week we started seeing a difference in her .. and then a few weeks later we saw a world of difference in her - being on just neocate alone that is .. unforetuneatly for her though she is still not tolerating any foods..

she vomits and gaggs and will scream for 6 days after one teaspoon of food.... she will reflux and wont sleep , screams with belly aches and hits her stomach and shoves her fist down her mouth . what makes it down her throat .. then turns her bowels to mucas and she will vomit when she is passing a motion .as it is so sticky sh cant get it out .. - it is horrid for any baby to go thru and as a mother i cant do it anymore ..

so now she is just on neocate .. we have introduced pears to her - althought they are a failed food.. she is going along quite nicely .. (mucasy bowels are well tolerated in our house as long as she isnt screaming too much )

but her failed foods are rice cereal, rye bread, potato, sweet potato, pumpkin, apples -this is all we have tried - i mean if she cant tolerate these foods.. without knowing what foods she can and cant tolerate .. how much harm were the foods i was eating doing to her.. i know the breast feeding advocates say that breast milk is best .. buy in MY SITUATION - neocate is proving to be better..

i did get some feedback (thanks yolande :wave: ) however, at the time .. we had already introduced her to neocate and were seeing some differences in her .. and i didnt have the heart to put her on the breast if we couldnt guarantee her being as well as she was then kwim?

i so love breast feeding , but for me the health of my child comes first, i am still crying now over the fact that i couldnt breast feed .. her being my 3rd i promised my self i would breastfeed her longer than my boys.. (they were breast feed for 3 and 8 months each but i got severe depression once they were weaned and i hate it so much !! )

to make this worse only one breast feeding mother on these boards expressed their understanding of the heartbreak of phsycially being able to breast feed my baby and still not 'able ' to breast feed her as she was in pain from everything i was eating ..... i was simply ignored by most and that hurt the most..

[OllieBear]

:eek: OMG Bossoflatch I think you win the title of going to hell and back with your little one. Lots and lots of :hugs: :hugs:for you. I really hope your little one gets much better soon. More :hugs: :hugs:.

[mum2bubba]

Why did I choose to bottle feed? Because I hated breastfeeding. Simple as that.

I breastfed Hayley for 2 months mainly to shut everyone up, I breastfed Skye for 4 days (same reason) when I got them both onto bottles it was such a relief for me and they BOTH started putting on more weight and sleeping longer at night. They are happy, healthy babies.

I also wanted Grant and other people to be involved in caring for our kids and that so I wouldn't feel tied down all the time. If/when we have another baby he/she will be going straight on the bottle.

[mumofKieran]

i only just found this thread..

to make this worse only one breast feeding mother on these boards expressed their understanding of the heartbreak of phsycially being able to breast feed my baby and still not 'able ' to breast feed her as she was in pain from everything i was eating ..... i was simply ignored by most and that hurt the most..

I HAVE to reply to this, as this is how I often feel when in some sections on this forum!! It seems that the controversial threads get the most replies, and the ones asking for genuine help don't seem to spark nearly as much interest or replies. I have posted several things in the breastfeeding section asking for genuine help or advice and have had barely any replies, and then someone will post something sparking a debate and there will be literally hundreds of replies within hours. I am not having a go at anyone but I do find it disheartening when you pour your heart out and people ignore it, presumably because it isn't an interesting enough topic (usually the 'breast is best' type topics are what gets everyone going I have noticed). Sometimes a bit of support is what you need. I am sorry you have had this same experience. It puts me off posting sometimes, because I feel no one will bother to respond because my topic isn't exciting enough, even though it's very real to me!!

[bossoflatch]

:hugs: Katherine

to be honest i was so disheartened after going on the bottle i didnt even enter the bf thread why would I? kwim.. im so sorry .. if i had i would of just given you a few hugs .. as i am sure you would of needed them :hugs: :hugs:

[mumofKieran]

Thanks, sometimes it's just nice to know people care isn't it? Rather than logging on and seeing that 10 people have read your post but not one have replied..and I do understand why, because if you can't be of help then you tend not to reply, which I do too, but it's just disheartening when you're the one asking the question!

[Mummy2R&K]

I tried for nearly 3 weeks to BF my son...I was in just so much pain. I expressed for 4 days to let my nipples heal, and when they had, they went straight back to nearly falling off after 2 days of BF. I went to a LC and everything. She said he had a high pallett which may of caused my grief. She showed me a diff technique, but still pain pain pain. And he didn't help things, he just wouldn't stay still, kicked and fidgeted like hell!

I still get very very upset and depressed. I often think I should of persisted a bit longer. But it was such a trying 3 weeks, I was angry, depressed and stressed beyond belief....I was yelling at my DS and my partner and I was crying at feeding times because I dreaded feeding my son. It came to a point where I couldn't bare it any longer and I had some sachets in the pantry and I started him on formula.

He is now such a happier more relaxed baby, and I too am stress free and very happy and full of energy. Yes I still get so so upset, but in the end I look at my cute, georgous son and see how happy he is and it all goes away. I still had milk last week, and tried to relactate to maybe just give him one or two feeds of BM a day, but the same thing happened and my boobies were throbbing all night. And now i see white spots on his tongue - I am getting it checked tomorrow to see if thrush, and my god I hope that was the problem all along.....but I wouldn't try to BF again and take another step back when we have come so far.

Yes sometimes I do feel like a failure, but to all those who say i didn't try hard enough - :p :p to you - I am a fantastic mother and being happy and calm is all that matters. I am very strong in other ways, one by having a natural birth when everyone was telling me to have an epi.



This is my response to another thread about why I chose to FF.

[Tulp]

:hugs: Katherine
to be honest i was so disheartened after going on the bottle i didnt even enter the bf thread why would I? kwim.. im so sorry .. if i had i would of just given you a few hugs .. as i am sure you would of needed them :hugs: :hugs:

I felt the same way. After DS started to refuse the breast I could not bring myself to read the ABA magazines anymore when they arrived. Before DS arrived I was so excited and signed up at ABA but had problems feeding DS from day one but persisted till DS was about 3 months and decided he did not want the breast anymore and gave up trying to find solutions because I was not getting anywhere, everyone had a suggestion.

We consulted the LC a couple of time and doc etc but nothing seemed to work. It was really frustrating and upsetting for both DS and myself and not to forget DH who felt helpless. We then decided to put him on the bottle full time and everyone is now happy.

[blessedmummy]

for me with dd2 was lots of reasons really, one was cause i felt very uncomfortable bf her anywhere, in public, or even at home, second was cause i was always feeding her constently and she never seemed to be satisfied, she used to scream all the time because of it, and i was at my wits end with it all, at first she used to sleep ok, then started sleeping really badly.. anyhow.... after switching to formula (even though i felt guilty doing it) it was the best thing i ever did! a different baby overnight really, the best! she was 2months old when i did this.

[SweetAngels]

Sucky milk supply. DD only had enuff to snack for 5mins every hour, yup even during the night, no1 told me bottle feeding was an option, so 5.5years later shes skinny and has the eating habbit of a little bird. So with both my DS at 6wks the same 5min snacking was starting to happen so I put them straight on the bottle (proudly) and now they are very healthy (less doc visits then sis) and have eat so much more then DD

[mum2blueeyes]

I switched my DS to formula at 6 weeks.

He was diagnosed with a lactose intolerance and milk allergy, and was put onto a prescription formula by the paediatrician.

We went through 6 weeks of utter hell before getting to that point. Putting him onto the formula was the beginning of his life IMO.

There is a huge ignorance out there about conditions such as DS' that can affect breastfeeding. I acknowledge that it is rare, but sometimes breast ISN'T best, and formula is actually better.

[~Bec~]

My response to a similar thread:

What annoys me is being asked to justify why I'm bottlefeeding to people. There is such a huge expectation to BF that makes it worse when you do run into problems. I found some of the midwives to be very unsympathetic and I felt that one in particular was a bully to me. My DS is 3 months on Saturday and I feel very guilty and less of a mother than I could be for not breastfeeding, even if he is flourishing. I think the "breast is best" posters and literature is rammed down our throats so much it contributes to feelings of failure when you are having problems breastfeeding.
The problems I had include:

My milk did not come in until day 6, DS was nearly 10 pounds and required fluids to treat his jaundice.
When my milk did come in there was not nearly enough to satisfy him, despite trying to express between feeds to increase supply.
My nipples were so cracked they bled initially when I tried to express colostrum or milk.
Even after the cracking healed the slightest brush against them was very painful.
The initial latch on pain lasted for 60 seconds, not the 30 seconds as books and midwives told me. DS would then often unattach himself so I would have to go through the attachment pain again.
While feeding DS he would unexpectedly thrash his head around which increased the pain. His arms would also thrash around and scratch my already very sensitive nipples. Wrapping him was no use as I just didn’t have enough hands to keep him wrapped, position him appropriately and then position my breast.
Despite confirmation from a LC that I had the attachment perfect it would often still hurt when feeding.
I had a tsunami of hormones running around my body meaning that for the first few weeks I would break into tears every time someone asked how breast feeding was going.
Conflicting advice from authoritative sources on how to treat all of the above issues.
Nearly every feeding attempt would end in tears for both DS and me!Having no experience with babies before giving birth I found DS was much more predictable on forumla which is a good thing for new parents.
I feel compelled to tell you that I express milk 4-6 times a day which comprises about a third of his feeds.
I also feel compelled to tell you that from about 6 weeks DS has slept through the night thereby allowing his parents to get a good night's sleep too. :smiliedance:

[amumslove]

With DD#1 the midwives pushed to breastfeed for 5 days:( untill one midwive put her foot down and let me FF:D , as a result DD#1 lost more then the 10% they are supposed to lose. It was very stressful. With DD#2 and DS i tried for a couple of days but when it was not working my DH and I decided to FF as it was not worth the stress on me or the baby. All my children are happy and healthy.

[Ashleigh<3]

With DD#1 the midwives pushed to breastfeed for 5 days:( untill one midwive put her foot down and let me FF:D , as a result DD#1 lost more then the 10% they are supposed to lose. It was very stressful. With DD#2 and DS i tried for a couple of days but when it was not working my DH and I decided to FF as it was not worth the stress on me or the baby. All my children are happy and healthy.


You poor thing, I have no respect for midwives who force patients to breastfeed.
Mine were great at preaching the benefits but they never forced me to do something I didn't want to do.
I think a lot of women who are forced to take on something they don't want to, are only increasing the risk of developing PND.
:(

I breastfed exclusively for 8 weeks, then introduced formula at night and morning gradually over the next few weeks.

It was an instant success, my baby slept all night, took more naps through out the day, she was growing and she just seemed more vibrant.
Having my boobs back was not a necessity but I was thrilled that I could finally...


breathe properly
get in the shower without crying
put my bra and shirt on without crying,
sleep without crying
etc!My boobs were like inflamed balloons and my nipples were suffering and I had enough.
:no:

I did miss the bond, I went through a series of remorseful feelings but I kept thinking back to how painful and exhausting it was for me and how much better I felt in comparison was enough to reassure me.

[Noah_and_Elijah]

My reason for bottlefeeding? I wanted to!

I wanted to breastfeed for at least 12 months but after 6 weeks I just grew tired of it and didn't have the urge to continue anymore so switched him to formula.

[MummaSammie]

my breast dont produce enough milk and with either of my boys they never gained weight so i started bottle feeding.

[tyler's mum]

My reason was because i didnt want to breast feed

[Myztik]

It wasn't my choice. I had to stop due to medication I needed to take.

[reAllytee]

With DS1 my milk never came in so by the time he was 2wks he was full bottlefed. I wanted to keep trying but he also did a lot of damage as he had teeth just below his gums so would always bite me drawing blood & his toungue tie cut into me like a saw so ended up with aversion to the idea of him latching on. Whether this added to my milk not coming in is another thing!

With DS2 i was so proud of myself getting through the first few weeks of excrutiating pain, cracked nipples & bleeding but things never got better due to him refusing to feed, screaming, failure to thrive etc. He was later diagnosed with reflux which not even the basic meds that i was given helped yet struggled through giving him at least 2 feeds per day till he was 5mths. Its taken many months of now receiving help to find he has LI as well as CSPI so cant handle breastmilk or normal formula along with gut & bowel issues that have shown he would never have been able to continue breastfeeding :(

[the_queen]

My daughter had a congenital facial deformity which meant breastfeeding was an intensely challenging ordeal. We did it, feeding from the breast in weird positions, with much pumping and EBM-topping-up, until she was 14 weeks old when she had her first cranio-facial surgery. After the surgery she couldn't purse her lips (stitches) so she had EBM via squeeze bottles, plus formula because I couldn't pump enough to keep up with her. After a few weeks of desperation, including daystays at the CHN, a 4-day stint at Torrens House, and use of SNS, nipple shields, different positions and facial exercises, I had a small break with reality and decided that I couldn't continue. She was 4 months old :(

[the_queen]

:hugs: Jennifer. What a complete prick to say that to you :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

[punkbaby]

With my second it was lack of support, he just wasnt satisfied on the breast, he would drink and fall asleep in 3 mins then wake up ten minutes hungry again after 3 months i was a wreck :( i expressed for two days and couldnt get anything and i just gave in one night and said ok your having formula.
If i knew what i knew now though i am sure i would have hung in there. On a brighter note, i had the best sleep i had had in weeks!

[Mummaholic]

After 4 weeks we switched to the bottle. Attachment troubles meant I was expressing anyway and I was so tired all the time.

Switching to the bottle was the best thing I ever did as both my husband and I could feed him, and he was fuller for longer and slept through the night.

Lots of ppl thought it was their right to butt in and tell me what I was doing was harming my child - not family but strangers! I am an intelligent woman and did research before I made my decision, bottle feeding was the best decision for my family in the long run. I hate having to justify it even now, I don't believe I should have to. Nor should anyone else have to explain their parenting decisions to me.

My circle of friends and family jokingly refer to the 'bf militia' - not meaning all those who bf, but those who try to force it upon everyone else. I should say half-jokingly as I find it appalling these ppl try to guilt me and others about our bottle feeding.

My husband was accosted in Coles buying formula - he was told - "Mum should be breast feeding". The nerve! None of their business.

I am glad for this thread, I would like to see the women who post on here not attacked for their choices, enough already.

[Queen]

Why did I choose to bottle-feed:confused:

Well...because I was a poo breast-feeder, I had so much milk it squirted everywhere, my boobs were (still are) MASSIVE which made it hard to see what was happening down that way...
On top of that, I fed DD every hour, and she screamed the other 40 minutes:( after about 6 weeks of feeding round the clock, I was drained, exhausted and just about ready to collapse.
My Mum suggested a bottle, so DP could feed her and I could sleep. So I thought....just for the night....I fed her she slept for FOUR hours....then I started expressing and using bottles, she went back to screaming and not sleeping...so BOTTLE won...:D

Would I try and breast-feed next time, sure, but I won't feel like a failure if I can't;)

[sockstealingpoltergeist]

I gave up because breast feeding was not a good experience for me. With the first I had attachment problems and I ended up with bloody pusy niples yay. I switched at 4 mths. I am so glad I did, I had not one ounce of guilt. With my son he had attachment issues also , but only on one side (I don't know why). I ended up with mastitus and was very sick. I started FF at about 5 or 6 weeks. It wasn't a hard decision as I have seen so many healthy smart, happy, formula feed babies who grow into children who are just as healthy etc as BF babies.

[Mummaholic]

It wasn't a hard decision as I have seen so many healthy smart, happy, formula feed babies who grow into children who are just as healthy etc as BF babies.

:iagree:

[Jamaica]

(Hope I dont offended anyone)
My reason for bottle feeding DD & #2 due in Nov is that im actually completely & utterly against breastfeeding FOR ME (i dnt judge other ppl, i no the benefits etc etc) but for me it just seems so animalistic, like a dairy cow. With DD I was so against the idea that my body didnt even produce anything colostrum, milk nothing, my breast size didnt even change at any stage.

The thing I really loved the most about bottlefeeding was that I could see EXACTLY how much DD was getting, breastfeeding is such a guessing game.

At first wen i told DH my staunt views on breastfeeding, him being from another culture was mortified, that all changed wen he got to feed her 2mins after she entered this world. The fact that he could bond with her by feeding her too was amazing & practical too i must say :)

I know most women arent against it like I am & would like to do it & most bottlefeed cos they cant breastfeed but i think its unfare that so many women/midwifes/Drs etc make women feel bad about this. It needs to stop :)

[4babycinos]

First two was because I was told demand feeding was what I had to do, and at the time I wasnt interested in having a baby attached to me 24hrs a day. And also had a husband and MIL who were pushing for the formula for 2 different reasons :rolleyes:

With my 3rd I had every intention of formula feeding and had formula and bottles all ready to go at home. But when I had dd2 she was a fantastic feeder - every 3hrs, no latching on problems, no split/cracked nipples and the biggest thing - I had more knoweledge and matured ;)

[UniMum]

I LOVE LOVE LOOOOVE this thread.

I have a 1 month old and she is now almost completly on formula.

My reasoning was that I also felt almost pressured by the act. I would sit down to eat (FINALLY) and she would need a feed. My dinner would go cold and I wouldn't get a chance to eat again. I ended up losing 16kgs in the first 5 days after birth. I was unhappy and tired.

I first put her on the bottle for an afternoon feed. But she ended up just craving the bottle at pretty much every feed so I kept giving it to her. I now only breastfeed at her 5am feed, just to release some pressure from my boobs.

I have been told that I look so refreshed and together now and I completly owe it all to formula.

I take my hats off to any mums who breastfeed round the clock.
:yelclap::yelclap::yelclap:
BUT I also take my hats off to mums who CHOOSE to do the right thing for their family.:yelclap::yelclap::yelclap:

[ellabella]

Hubby and I decided to place our 3 week old on formula a week ago. Best thing we ever did. My breasts never got hard, never had the need to use breast pads... tried expressing but nothing. CHN said all must be good because she was gaining wait. She would feed and then be hungry 1/2 hour later. I was exhausted. Was always under the opinion I would give breastfeeding a go... I did and it wasn't right for us. Great to have this forum. People do make you feel second class, feel like you need to make excuses as to why you are bottle feeding. She has slept for 7 hours straight the last 4 nights. I am happy, daddy is happy and most importantly she is happy :)

[MissSparkle]

I bf DS1 but DS2 had really bad acid reflux. He screamed constantly and was just so unhappy....till I put him on the bottle! He loved it. I now kind of wonder weather I would breastfeed my future babies for as long as I did with DS1 or just put them on to the bottle after afew months.

[didlesdines]

For me with my daughter it was not knowing, the midwives walk up and just put her on not explaining, so I asked and I got told you won't keep it up so why should I bother. I was a young mummy so I think she just had an attitude about them.

For my next one I tried and tried but he was not putting on any weight at all and I was at the childhood clinic every week weighing him, so then at about 4 weeks we started adding a formula feed and the I found out that I had retained products and my milk never came in. So that was that and I just kept formula feeding.

My third I breastfeed for 13 months but for him it was like a first baby as everything was new to me.

[Mischief]

:iagree:

I could really relate to your story. I stopped feeding Oliver at 4 weeks, then exclusively expressed for the next 3 and a bit months.

Im hoping to be better equipped this time around, and maybe feed more successfully and longer. I've seens a psychologist since having Oliver and addressed some of the issues that made me feel so badly about BF, and I will see a lactation consultant through the hospital for help and advice also. :)