how did it all turn out

[Niki]

i love being a young mum....i hate it wen people say that having kids young ruins ur life....becoz 4 me its the greatest thing in the world! i used to get upset wen ppl gave me a disapproving look but now i dont care im happy with the way things have tured out!!

id love to hear any1s stories and chat to other young mums about how things turned out with them!!

wen i 1st found out i was pregnant i was scared but my family was so supportive, my dfs dad thou was trying to make us get married straight away and move into gether which really annoyed me becoz u dont need to be married to have a baby!! my mum put him in his place (yay for mum!!)atleast he isnt as bad now....when all the people where i worked found out most told me i should get an abortion, i knew that i didnt want 1 from the begining, it would of been so much nicer if they had of been supportive...but most warmed to the idea (not that it would of changed my mind anyway) wen they started to see my belly grow and see the ultrasound pics!!

im due back at work in April thou i think i will extend it for 6months cos i love being a sahm

my dreams are the same as they were b4 i became pregnant eg. travelling and i still plan to do it but now it will be even beta becoz i can share the experience with my beautiful baby boy! if i could turn bak the clock i wouldnt change a thing

[Rhoxie]

Well being young has (so far) worked out fine for us :D

We met during my first year of uni in '95
We got married in '97 at the repective ages of 19 (me) and 20.
Our First Bub arrived (rather unplanned) just before my 21st birthday during my last year of Uni '98.
I took Gabryell to uni with me (to class) until he was old enough to go to the uni childcare centre. I worked my uni & TaFe timetables around his breast feeding times (and the ladies used to call my mobile if he woke early).
I graduated Uni in '99
DH meanwhile finished his degree too and went on to further study to specialise in computing and was then offered a work from home job.

We all went travelling around WA for 6 months as part of DH's job
Kiara arrived in 2000 and we also bought our house (YIPPEE!!)
I started Full time work in 2002 as a Hotel night manager and worked until we decided to have another child. Then I changed to evening shift rather than night shift (so dh and I could actually be in bed at the same time and get some bed dancing happening *wink* ).

I worked (evenings) until a week before Sebastian popped out then went back 2 evenings a week when he was 5 months old (he was fully breastfeed so that meant expressing at work FUN LOL.
Last year I went back to uni part time to do some further study and I should graduate as a Teacher at the end of this year.
DH meanwhile still works from home and does a lot of things around work (such as helping with the kids and their sport). He is now officially the state manager for the company he works for (pays not great but it sounds good :) ).

The two big kids go to the local state primary and are doing very well. Gabryell is in year 3 and loves to read anything can get his hands on and Kiara is in Pre-primary and is reading and writing (invented spelling).

So all in all I don't think anyone has suffered because we had our kids young ... :D
I do think we would have been better off Financially if we had waited a while. As we both want to be around for the children while they are growing up so DH works for less money from home and I worked evenings and nights so I could still look after the children during the day and do stuff like playgroup and kindy roster.
A couple of years were pretty hard (esp living on Austudy with a baby).

The two worst things, I believe, about having children early are the lack of financial stability and the social isolation of mothers.
BUT would I change a thing ? - NO ! :D

[Melo]

I became a mum in September last year (it was also un-planned!), my DP and I were very shocked to find out that I was pregnant. We had so many things to consider (abortion was never one of these though!). Eventually everything fell into place, as we live up North in WA housing is VERY tight! We eventually got a place here in Tom Price (where DP lives as i was living 80kms away until 4 weeks before DS was born).
I am still completing my Diploma of Children's Services through the local tafe and hopefully one day soon I will be able to start Uni (I want to be a teacher) by corrospondence. Hopefully sometime this year I will fall pregnant again so we will have completed our famiy (we both only want 2 kids, but a 3rd could be on the cards :o).
DP and I are so glad that things have worked out this way for us, fair enough we are missing out on a few things which our friends are doing but we look at it like when we are 40 our kids will nearly (HOPEFULLY) be ready to leave home so we can go travelling and stuff, while all of our friends will still have kids at home!
I love being a SAHM and i don't have any intentions of going back to work until our children start school, but plans could change and i may need too!

[my babyemmy]

hi sweetheart I'm so happy for you that you love being a young mum! It was the best ever feeling for me too! well I'm an older mum now my baby is 17 years old & we still have the best relationship possible, you will have so much fun with many,many things but the best thing will be when your child starts High School and you have to explain no I'm not the sister,I AM THE MUM! that happened to me every year from about my sons grade 5 even to now! I was 16 when i got pregnant,EVERYONE told me to have an abortion except for my mum,(I'm not sure how it would have all turned out without her support in the early years.) I had him at 17 got married etc,still together looks like most people were wrong!Enjoy it all while you can as it really does go so fast, i still look at my son & still see my little boy( he is a lot taller than me so i have to look up)
all the best wishes :D

[SassyMummy]

I had been with my DP for only 4 months when I fell pregnant. We'd known each other for a bit longer than that...but it was still very early. Our "getting to know you" stage kind of disappeared, which is probably one of the worst things...but it was also a good thing, as we soon realised just what type of people we both were (having to deal with such a life-altering event...there's no time for small-talk and "impressing" each other by being on our best behaviour).

At first, my partner insisted that I consider abortion "as an option". I guess, it was an OPTION...but it definately wasn't one I was going to consider. I didn't need to. Abortion wasn't for me. That wasn't something I wanted to look back on and regret. I'd rather look back and think, "Well...there's a lot I could have done without her..." (not that I'd think that but you know what I mean!) than "too bad I didn't have a chance to get to know her".

We fought quite a bit while I was pregnant...mostly because I was so damn moody all the time. It wasn't that bad though...we had both accepted the outcome of our actions. I like to say that although my baby was unplanned, she was not unwanted.

I love her so much. She's 6.5 months, and although life is a lot more difficult now that she's around, it's also a lot more rewarding. I'm not longer as stupid as I once was, fussing over meaningless crap, like *****ing about who has a crap hairstyle or whatever. I don't whinge about silly things any more...I have more complicated matters to deal with...and I love that.

One bad thing though is that sometimes I feel a little superior to my friends. They're worried about their boyfriends and their parents opinions on their boyfriends...and just stuff that doesn't really matter. The things they stress out about...I kind of just roll my eyes. I feel so bad doing it, because to them, those problems are massive. I guess, now, I just realise how there's so much more to life than worrying about whether or not your bf thinking you're fat or not.

I still have dreams...and my daughter is actually a real inspiration to help me achieve them. I want to do things FOR HER (like lose weight for example). I want to be a good role model for her...so it's pushing me to do things for myself as well.

It's hard a lot of the time, and I really wouldn't advise young women to go out an get pregnant...but if that's the card you're dealt...well, it's not that bad. It's not the end of your life, it's just the beginning of a new one.

[Starlet]

I love being a young mum too.

I found out I was pregnant just after I turned 18. My partner at the time and I had been together for a year. My parents went nuts when I told them and they were pushing me to have an abortion. But they came around in the end(they were under alot of stress because at the same time, mum found out that my dad was cheating on her).

My partner and I moved in together. Money was very tight because he was a dolebludger and I wasn't working. But we were happy, I had a great network of friends who were also young mums(we're not so close anymore, everyone's grown up and got different interests and doing other things as most their kids are in school).

I fell pregnant again when my son was about one. Things were not going so great between my partner and I. He left when our baby was 3 months old. He moved to a different state. I was a single mum with 2 kids, 19 months apart.

It was hard, especially with no car and I was heartbroken that my kids would have to grow up in a broken family.

About a year later I started going out with my current partner(we've been friends for 5 years). And I instantly became a mother of 4 instead of 2(which is quite daunting at 21). Matt has a daughter of his own, who is 17 months and he also takes care of his ex's daughter who is 3 this year.

We've been living together since August last year and things have been better than they've ever been. Everything has worked out and my boys are happy.

My eldest son starts kindy next year and my youngest will go the year after that. I'm about to start uni next week.

So although things have taken longer by having kids young, I'm still happy with the way things are.

I would never, ever trade any of this for anything.

[neneales]

Hey everyone!

I absolutly love being a young mum! When my partner and I got together I was 18 he was 23 and we were doing the party thing, living life to the extreme! We were together for 2 months and found out I was pregnant, it was a big shock but I just knew I wouldnt have an abortion. DF and I had known each other since I was 14 so I was secure with him and love him very much so when we decided to keep it and tell the family it was really hard. His family wasnt very supportive as they didnt know me very well but my family were very supportive as they had known him as long as I did! But his family is a lovely bunch and once they got to know me the support was endless!

I was still living with mum at that stage and he had moved in, but once we decided to keep it we rented a little place for a year then bought the one we are in now! When I was pregnant we went ot QLD just for some time to ourselves and thats where he asked me to marry him! When we had Taela we knew that this is what the meaning of life is we were so happy and confident as parents. Now we have two girls and another on the way and I wouldnt change it for the world. I love being a mum but I know what u mean Niki when u get those stares from people sometimes it bothers me but i just tell myself no matter how old I was I would still be the same mum so it doesnt matter.

We struggle with money sometimes but my only concern is if my kids have a roof over the head, food in their bellies,clothes on their backs and love in their hearts then Im the happiest mum in the world!

[MumsieMel]

Hi Nicky,

Here's my story.

I am 22yrs old, married to my DH for 2.5yrs, we've been together for 5.5 yrs.

We had our first PLANNED bubs Xavier, when i was 18, almost 19. We were living with my MIL, then my Mum, then on our own.

When my son was 1 we then shared a place with DH bro and i got a full time job, and we then got married. And then again lived on our own

Then we PLANNED no2, we bought a house 3 mths before our DD Coralie was born.

I now still have the same full time job, so does my DH.
We have 2 gorgeous kids a happy life and relationship!

And we're TTC #3!

So thats us and i am SO PROUD TO BE A YOUNG MUM!

But i know that there are pleanty of "older" mums who are great and happy too!!

[moonblossom]

I've been a very young mum and a not so young mum LOL. And do I have any regrets...HELL NO. Yeah sure when they are really young it can get tough, but you get through it, and see them grow into fine young human beings and still be young enough to enjoy it.

Believe me it doesnt matter if you are young or older, people still question you and feel they have the right to put their two cents worth in. I have led a full and productive life and honestly feel I have missed out on nothing. I didnt plan on getting pregnant at 42, but believe it or not the response is the same as when I got pregnant at 17 all those years ago, but I just laugh it off, they dont live my life, I DO, and mighty happy I must say.

My mother is still on my back about having another, and it doesnt matter how much I try and persuade her that this is best for ALL of us, she doesnt understand. So do you know what i've decided? Just to give up trying to justify myself to anyone. She even said she was proud of my sister who terminated her pregnancy at 42 a few years ago, so I said YOU are proud of someone taking life, but not proud of someone who chooses to give it? I dont get it, I NEVER will.

Anyway I do feel as though I've gone off on a tangent here LOL. I do apologise but in saying this, Do what is right for you, ignore comments that are not supportive and be HAPPY. When I feel this little baby kicking away inside me, I KNOW I did the right thing.