How's your sex life?

[willsmum]

Ok, a quick survey of friends tells me I'm not alone, but I'd like to hear it from you guys too!!

Hands up if (even occasionally) when you have some time to spare, rather than sex, you'd prefer:

1. sleeping
2. thinking about going out in public wearing something that doesn't have snot, vomit and unidentifiable crusty bits (could be Farex, maybe Cruskit) all over it
3. sleeping
4. sleeping


So c'mon, be honest. Things have REALLY changed haven't they. Yet another great motherhood secret that noone speaks about.

(Angelina Jolie and Pamela Anderson need not respond. Also anyone else with buckets of household staff and sleep-over nannies.)

Try not to scare the not-quite parents out there. You know, the ones who haven't had to figure out that you can cope on 2 hours sleep a night and half a cup of lukewarm tea for breakfast.

[Thea`s mum]

Sex?? What`s that ;)

My 4 options are:

No 1: sleep
No 2: shopping
No 3: sleep again ( after a really good meal )
No 4: Spend more of my husband money :D

[Narelle]

Hi willsmum!
I'm looking forward to the challenge of motherhood, I said to my hubby last night I hope I'm not too horrible to him when I'm tired and grumpy, he said he was preparing for a few tear fests :( (I'm an emotional person) :)
One of his mates has had sex once in about 7 months since their baby was born, so he's probably preparing himself for a drought! :D

[alicesmum]

Hi ladies,
I love honesty! I really do!!!!

Yes, sex seems so far down the list of priorities at the moment, that I think it falls somewhere between sorting through jars of old buttons and cleaning cobwebs off the house. Actually, I do exaggerate! I think we've done it 6 or 8 times since DD was born 8 months ago.

I have to admit though that I have the opposite problem (though it's not as much of a problem now compared to before DD). My problem is I have a higher libido than my DH which makes me worry how I am going to cope further down the track, when I'm no longer exhausted (BTW - when will that be??!!). :confused:
I'm rather worried in fact, as they say women's sex drive peaks at 35-40 yo and men's at 18......so I'm on the way up and he's on the way down!!! Oh no :eek:

I keep telling him I'll have to get a younger lover one day when I'm through with all the baby-making and raising. He is not amused!! :mad:

:p

[StormAngel]

Hi all


To be honest i'd rather sit with the pigs in the mud before i had sex!!!!!

I'm hoping this feeling will go away eventually

[summerly]

Well, I think sleeping comes first, then food, then more sleep, then sex. But I only have one kid and she is older now so we do get some time to ourselves, but still you do tend to find yourself thinking of other things like the dishes need doing or are her clothes clean for school tomorrow, etc. Not terribly romantic I know but I guess that's life. But take heart, most of my friends without children have sex about as much as I do anyway, it's just that they manage to be more spontaneous which I think is another thing you give up when you have kids.

[WeThree]

omg, so glad im not alone! when i get some spare time lately the last thing i feel like atm is sex, i feel really bad for my hubby and im hoping it passes, but im just really in mummy mode atm, and not only am i usually to tired but i find it really hard to switch to sex goddess mood! it just feels really fake or something. anyway thanks guys i feel better for sharing that! :)

[LouLou]

Well, again I am glad I am not alone.
Though I must say, that since I started exercising again (it's only been a week) but we have managed sex twice, as opposed to the once a month occurrence that was happening before hand. If I wasn't completely exhausted and falling asleep at the dinner table at 6pm, or assisting with a house renovation, doing the washing cleaning (need I go on) or tackling my son's 1000th question for the day, the last thing I felt like was sex, not to mention how repulsed I was at my own body, let alone considering anyone's else view on that subject (my body that is). All I can say so far so good, vigorous exercise is giving me more energy, and last night I did have a vague recollection of what life was like BK (before Kids), needless to say like most males, hubby thinks all his Christmas' have come at once.

[Jimmyjones]

Even though I am tied and love to shop I have the opposite problem towards sex
My baby is 6 weeks old and I would love to have sex, as my husband the poor bugger has been in a drought and is really good about it. My only problem is that I had internal stitches after a tear and to tell you the truth are scared ^%$# to have sex even though my brain is saying otherwise. Even though he is being good about it I know deep down he thinks otherwise.
Has anyone had this problem and how long did it take to get back on the road.

KT

[LouLou]

KT,
I had internal stitches first time round, and we tried at about 8 weeks after the birth. For me it felt really uncomfortable and kind of hurt a bit, anyway I visited my GP and she told me that all was ok,( especially normal to be apprehensive to sex after first baby and STICHES - which I was)
So we messed around in other ways and then tried again a week later and I had only a bit of discomfort (maybe it was psychological!!!), and we used heaps of lubricant as I think my hormones were affecting that too..
My god this is turning into some sort of sex therapy.. Sorry.
Anyway just though I’d share….
Louise

[Jimmyjones]

Thanks Louise,
Very helpful, gee it's amazing what you let loose on the internet about but not with your close friends. Its nice to now that I am not going crazy and bubba is only 6 weeks old but will take your ideas on hand
thanks

KT

[Mischief]

Sex is top of our list at the moment, we are trying to get pregnant with our first baby.

However, my hubby is preparing for a drought when I am pregnant though, and so am I. If the way my hormones react when I have PMS are anything to go by, sex is not going to be a prioity. LOL

Never know though! :)

[nickosmoo]

I'd love to have sex - I just don't have any energy! And DS is in our room and our bed is a real creaker so that's my excuse to go new bed shopping - yihah!

I told DH that if he ever wanted to have sex again then we would have to get a new bed - going shopping this week - poor bugger he's in for a shock once we have the new bed and I start to develop migraines :D

[sopolicha]

I can remember vividly the last time that my husband and I had sex. Nearly two years ago (in June) we moved out of my mother's house after ours was built and ready to move into. To celebrate on the way to the new house I bought a 12 pack of condoms. Just before Christmas there were still about 8 of those condoms left.

I came home from a weekend away with the girls and was feeling a bit bad about leaving the kids and hubbie...... any way for some reason we did not bother using a condom ( thought it would be okay) and now I am expecting my third child in early September.

Needless to say there has been nothing but talk of tube tying and vasectomies before sex is ever ventured into again. My husband is quite pleased about the new baby coming, but is moaning just as you were feeling like sex again.

[meshan]

It took me a year to have sex after my first baby - yes a year!!! My husband was scared of hurting the baby when I was pregnant so we went almost 18 months without sex!

Now I am 7 months pregnant - so yes we did end up doing it again - but things have dried up again. I didn't realise how desperate my husband was getting until he watched Opra the other night just to see Terri Hatcher demonstate her stripper skills, he got very excited!

[Mischief]

*GULP* Now I am really nervous about getting preggers! I like having sex, its fun, and it makes you feel so close!

I guess when your hormones are all over the show though, you proably dont feel quite the same! :p

My poor hubby! Oh well, men like to think they are the master of DIY, maybe they should look deeper..... ;)

[alicesmum]

kathleen,
don't worry too much. you might be different I have friends whose sex life is still pretty active, even with kids.

i had sex again 4 1/2 weeks after DD was born, but had no stitches, so i guess that makes a big difference. And it didn't hurt at all BTW. It was just a litle scary as you are still tender for a while.

And, although you may have it less often (it's only once or twice a month for us now!) I would say that for me personally, it's better in some ways because we feel a closer connection through our DD and probably also BECAUSE it's less frequent (like going to the zoo less often makes it better... kinda thing!!!) :p

[camstar]

Sex, as the title of this post says, "ha". 8 months ago my partner used to call me a nympho, he couldn't keep up with me! Now he's lucky if I am interested in the slightest. I am 8 months preg and have lost all sense of sexual disire. I really do hope to get it back, I miss feeling wild and crazy with passion. I'm sure my partner thinks I'm getting him back for all the times he said he was to tired, the poor thing. He has been very supportive though and even put up with the crap like "you never try or ask anymore, you don't want me!" he says "but you don't want it" I say "that's entirely beside the point" LOL I aplaude him and other men like him, after all we are all hormonal and they are still just as they always were! Still doesn't mean they're getting any though ;)

[mumof2girls]

I hear all you guys or should I say gals!

Sex was not on my list when I was pregnant as I had chronic morning sickness, not real sexy when you have your head in a bucket :eek:

Then when my daughter was born I had a 3rd degree tear so I swore off sex altogther, that lasted about 3 months then things went back to normal then when my daughter was 15 months old I fell pregnant and it started all over again!!!!!!!

All I can say is that I have a very patient hubby :)

Things do get back to normal (eventually) and I think it is well worth the wait!

[Baby Girl]

Our bedroom used to be referred to as the rabbits burrow!! Throughout my first pregnancy I couldn't get enough and there was no way my partner was going to complain :D !! We first had sex again 2 weeks after bub was born and until she was about 6 months old enjoyed a very healthy sex life. Once I stopped BF my libido changed dramatically and sex was the last thing on my mind.

When we found out we were preggers with no. 2 my partner was so happy about the prospect of my sex drive rising again but alas it has been the complete opposite :( . I would like to "do it" but find with this pregnancy I am constantly tired, bloated and feeling less than attractive whereas last time I felt fantastic!

Go figure, maybe this time once I stop BF my libido will do a complete turn around again.......fingers crossed!! ;)

[wattle]

Hi. I had internal stitches too. We gave it a whirl at about 6 or 7 weeks and to be honest I was really tense and didn't enjoy it. Hubby really wasn't into it either cos he could tell I was nervous. We haven't bothered again since, but are waiting until the right time for both of us.

I'd give it plenty of time and have some lube on standby. Apparantly breastfeeding stops the natural lubrication.

Maybe have a hot bath instead......mmmm.

[june05isttimer]

Hi there

Boy, we haven't even had our first baby yet and our sex life has gone out the window....
im due now in 8 weeks time and have kinda lost interest a tad, but feel guilty as Im also not instigating any fooling around either with my man.

We had a pretty healthy sex life up until about 3 months ago when we had a spontaneous Sunday afternoon where there appeared to be some blood once the deed was done.

I was pretty cool about the whole thing as I had read about how you can bleed slightly after sex but my partner freaked right out and made me call our obstetrician the next day etc. All was fine and all quite embarressing when explaining this to your doc.. Problem is since then my hubby has been too nervous to do anything as he doesn't want to hurt the baby...
We explored other means a couple of times which were just as fun but all sexual activity has now dropped right off..

Here's hoping we will both remember what to do when and if the occasion arises again soon !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Not having a child at all yet its really really hard to comprehend just how tired and uninterested you become in such things. I guess we will both find out soon enough !!!!!!!!!!