dp's ex has cut 2 nights access a month

[trina73]

We usually have the girls every fortnight on a friday and saturday night and they go home at 6:30pm on sunday. but we got a call last week from our eldest step daughter and told us that she can't come on friday nights anymore due to having too much homework and we thought that was an excuse from their mum, but DP spoke to his ex on the phone about it and apparently that seems to be the case... well on friday night DP sent a sms to his DD and she replied.. dad don't call me cause i am out with my friends and that was it. well dp is furious that she can't come here on a friday night cause of homework and she's out with her friends instead :no: to me it is all lies; lies and more lies and i'm sick of it. she also puts the girls in the middle of it all and it's so unfair. i think the reason why she is doing this is because we havn't done our tax yet and we want her business that she is hiding invesigated. sorry just had to vent.i am so angry.

[HunterzMummy]

i have no advice just sympathy as i know what it is like dealing with crazy selfish EX's :hair::hair:

Just want to send you some :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:

[Myztik]

I dont see why she couldn't do her homework at your house if that really was the case.. Sounds like a pretty poor excuse to me.

[EskimoMumma]

How old is your DSD? I suppose it can be the whole "oh its just my dad, i know hes tehre all the time so ill spend it with my friends" kind of thing. Or it could be the mother.

Im sorry that it was such a poor excuse and i can tell both you and your DP are hurting by it :hugs:

Instead of getting mad maybe get DP to talk to his daughter and tell her how much it hurt him? Or is that too wishy washy? I'm a firm believer in communication and when there is limited communication and alot of things that are confusing and alot of conflicting information, you worry 24/7 and are on guard so it is hard to even START communication.

:hugs: :hugs:

[trina73]

The girls are 11 and 13, i know that they are getting older now and they have their friends but at least be honest about why she has cut the access :hair:

[vikki a]

i have no advice just sympathy as i know what it is like dealing with crazy selfish EX's :hair::hair:
We are having a simlar problem at the moment as well... Looks like we will be going to court to sort it all out, as she just dosent want to listen reason. Good luck with it all...:hugs:

[pegasus]

I dont see why she couldn't do her homework at your house if that really was the case.. Sounds like a pretty poor excuse to me.

Totally agree here - I encourage my DSK's to bring any homework over - they know I'll sit down and do it with them.


The girls are 11 and 13, i know that they are getting older now and they have their friends but at least be honest about why she has cut the access :hair:

Hm yes - our access is when the kids ask to come atm (or when their mum requests babysitting - although that always doesn't go to plan). The honesty is a big thing......

[trina73]

just an update to what's going on.. today i recieved a statement fron csa, and it had an overdue amount on it and i couldn't understand why this was so as it comes out of DP'S pay. so i called csa and asked why we have this overdue amount and they told me that they haven't recieved any payments from his employer since july :eek: i am livid no wonder she has cut the access. apparently they sent a letter to dp's employer a week ago and nothing had been said to us. i have checked his payslips and the deducted amount has been shown. this just put's a whole lot of pressure on us that we don't need right now :thumbsdown:

[Starlet]

Still, I don't think it's fair for her to cut access because of that. My ex doesn't pay a cent, but I don't stop the kids going there.

I really hope u get things sorted. Send CSA copies of DPs payslips to show that it has come out and then take it up with his work.

[mythreelittlemonkeys]

I agree with Starlet - financial support and rights to have access completely 2 seperate issues. She should have also rung and asked was there an issue...know the heartbreak denied access has caused my DH. Ours was not for money not paid but the fact she wanted more, and that she was ****ed when Family Tax cut her payments when she got more child support.
I hope you get this sorted quickly for your DH's sake, perhaps he could ring the ex explain the situation, and say he didnt know and will try and recompense her asap.

[Miss_Vicki]

Did u know that if they don't change that in a certain time (employer) then they can get a HUGE fine .. its more detailed then that but thats the only why i know how to put it.. :)
Make sure he talks to them about it , tell them about the situation an they might take the det away (the one owning to csa that u get when dont pay it) he still will have a det with her thou

To add , if he pays back in a Bulk amount it will effect her pay fairy quicky an will get a det with clink, but thats not your problem ;)

[Nickster]

Maybe it's not a case of access being denied - she's 13 - I know I preferred to be with my friends rather than my parents at that age too. And so do my DSS'.

In my experience, there's not much you can really do if they don't want to come over and see you. We just try to live by the saying "If you love something, set it free....etc etc....".

I know I'm probably not much help, but the teenage years are quite trying...:o .

Just keep an open home and an open heart - let them know you're always there for them.

[Hannahs Mum]

In my experience I found that girls tend to mimick there mother after some time.
So if she is a compulsive liar they are bound to have picked up the traits.
Also they will cover for her and do whats she asks .... just to please her... sick but true in many cases

[doubleeangels]

my thoughts are also she wants to reduce access before the new formula comes in so her cs isnt cut..