My issue with my age....I think...

[FellowTraveller]

Hi guys....I have just turned 40 last week and my bubs is 4 months. I don't think my age is an issue but when I look at my mother's group I am the oldest. It feels kind of wierd - I guess I just feel "older" and I hate that. I think this is my issue and I have taken it from society and their emphasis on age. Not sure how to explain how I feel. I guess I feel like I missed the boat when I was younger and now I can't change it....or something. People say I look younger but I feel like I stick out like a sore thumb! Anyone identify??

[MrsP]

Yep, sure do & I've only just turned 33 lol!!! I definitely feel older than I am, that's for sure, but I also feel "removed from it all" with all these younger mums (pre-30) - I guess that's because I feel older though too :yes:
Hard to put into words that make sense, but I definitely do agree :)

[forbetoel]

When I had my first bub, I was just shy of 24, and the eldest mum was 42, an it was her first baby too. I think age is irrelevent once you have kids, you get along because you have your kids in common. My friend is now 50 and I am 32, I don't look at her any differently than any other friends.

[shed]

All the young mums feel judged for their age, and now you feel judged for your age.

Who is doing all this judging?

Its those pesky in-between mums isn't it???? :mad: :mad: :laughing:

You tell me who they are and I will go and hit them with my walking stick. :hugs:

[Femme la Phoenix]

I did feel the same way and even so much as ask in a thread about differences in conceiving after 40 ... I felt robbed of time, of 'my' chance it really felt as though it was a pipe dream and nothing more. I had Nick just prior to my 24th as well and for some medical and some personal reason's never able to hold onto a pregnancy. Then with starting a very demanding double degree next year, yep I was just beginning to feel thankful for what I have.

Now, though, I feel as though my late 30's and diffenetly my 40's are going to rock. You are only old as you feel and present yourself to the world, and I am going to be putting my best foot forward from now on. The only one that can honestly make me feel old is me. :shame: If there is well reported stats on the age of first time mum's and mum's in general is increasing, then where are they in respects to mother's groups? Play groups and making themselves known on sites like this????????????????????????????????

Because then we start to look around ourselves and feel like we are an oddity. Come on 30's and 40's mums have nothing to hide away from :no:

[EskimoMumma]

All the young mums feel judged for their age, and now you feel judged for your age.

Who is doing all this judging?

Its those pesky in-between mums isn't it???? :mad: :mad: :laughing:

You tell me who they are and I will go and hit them with my walking stick. :hugs:

I dont know what i am but all i nkow is i am a mother and what you said makes me believe you are on to something!:yelclap:

[Tam-I-Am]

Motherhood is the great equalizer, I believe. I really honestly don't think that anybody is judging anybody - I think that we all FEEL judged because we judge ourselves so harshly. Our own insecurities really come to the fore when we become parents I think - I mean, when I had my daughter I was neither young, nor old, I was well educated, married - happily so, was financially stable, had been working in my full time job for 2+ years and had a guaranteed position to return to - and I STILL felt judged for my life circumstances...Why? Because I was attributing my own insecurities to how others must view me.

[bigglet]

I think it depends on where you live - for example all the mums in my mums group are around 31-42 years old. We had a young mum join our group (she was 24) but haven't caught up with her recently.
Yet my friend who lives in another area - well all the mums there are between 18-24 years old!!

[FellowTraveller]

Love it Shed!! :laughing: Thanks for that feedback all!

I know it is about attitude because I don't feel 40 (but what does that feel like anyway??) and that's what bugs me - why do I feel this way?? I know that the youngest member in the group feels out of place as she is the youngest and I feel out of place as I am the oldest! Telling huh? Maybe I am in a particularly young group??

Previously I thought I never wanted children but I now realise I was in the wrong relationship. Unlike all my friends who were having children I was more career driven - well so I thought. I guess I wish life had shown me this earlier. But hey...I have a beautiful daughter and hope:fingerscrossed: to have another bubs soon. So I should also be thankful I have got there in the end! :)

[Femme la Phoenix]

Maybe I am in a particularly young group??

Why not have a look around your area or even surrounding suburbs for a group that is closer in age. You could even ask the ECN for suggestions of groups that might suit you.

It might be just what you need :yes:

[PixiLixi]

Hi there, I had my baby at 30. That is the current standard for first time mums in Australia, and I was the Youngest in my new mothers group.
I grew up in inner bayside Melbourne and no one really has kids before 30.
Maybe it depends where you live?

[FellowTraveller]

Yeah maybe. I live in Melb Inner East. Maybe I have a particularly young mother's group!