View Full Version : Feeling Lost
Im just having one of those days today where everything seems so much more than it is!
My DS is 12months now and runs a riot thru the house every waking moment. I don't mind and i let him make his mess then together we clean it up b4 nap times and bed time. However at the moment DF is at home more coz hes cut back his shifts at work to have a break. When he is home I feel judged by him because i dont spend the day cleaning and stuff. He doesnt mean to make me feel like this but Im jumping to the conclusion that that is what he thinks. Ive also felt very alone at times when he is at work and DS is asleep and all i want to do is curl up on the lounge with a coffee.
Ive also felt alot more self concious about myself lately and I always tell DF it is because he doesnt compliment me enough but i think its something abit deeper than that.
I just don't no what is wrong with me atm. I don't so much feel depresses as I do lonely.
If anyone else has felt like this id love to hear from u.....
Thanks for listening to me babble on!
hi....i no how u feel my bubs is only 6wks but it does get lonely at times....and u feel like ur ready to burst into tears at any moment.....have u had some time by urself?? u should go and have fun and do wateva u wana do 2 get ur mind off it....with the cleaning im the same sometimes its hard to find a spare moment, house cleaning can wait i say
I dont really know what you are going through coz my lil one has not arrived yet but *hugs* 2 ya! i do sometimes feel depressed and lonely coz with my pregnancy and my mum passing away 6 months ago. i dont have that many friends coz i dont have anythin in common with them, like i am settlin down havin a bub with my fiancee and they are out partyin and stuff and i just feel outta place when i do see them coz i feel a lot more mature. if you know what i mean.
but i hope things get better 4 ya.
I know how you feel, my little one is 7 weeks, I know about the house work its as though your home all day and the house should be clean completly and dinner on the table. But it doesn't work like that some days.
It does get lonely at times when dh is at work, have you thought about taking ds to playgroup just to get out of the house and talk to other people. Im lucky as i have my neighbour next door to talk to and my sister and on Mondays we visit my mums place when she looks after my nephew who is 2.
Dh is looking after bub tomorrow while mum and I go to the movies, dh has been looking forward to it all week, so he can spend some time alone with bub. (I'll have my phone switched on silent in the movies lol).
Don't feel guilty wanting to sit on the lounge with a cup of coffee when ds is asleep just do it. I was watching Dr Phil and he said that looking after a child is like two full -time jobs (something like that) and its hard work.
Maybe also you and your DF should have a night out by yourselves.
Hope things get better
mums the word
I could have written that post! I know exactly how you feel. Don't be hard on yourself, being a stay at home mum IS hard work. You work 24/7 so you deserve alittle break now and then. The responsibility is with you all the time and that can be very wearing. The good news is that I don't feel like that every day. Most of the time things are great, so long as my expectations aren't too high. With a 12 month old your house can not possibly be tidy all the time. Imagine how bored bubs would be if it were! If you can get a shower in the morning, some time out each day, ( even a coffee on the couch) feed yourself and bubs, then pat yourself on the back and spend time just enjoying bubs. And don't worry about DH. He is probably happiest when you are happy. So make that a priority. Take care.
Being a SAHM is hard work...We dont start at 9 and finish at 5...
Your'e doing a great job.;)
I have 3 kids..And I usually clean the house when they are all in bed at night..(Much easier)...Or my DS, has his own little pretend vacuum cleaner, and helps me vacuum through the day!!
ANd after lunch we have our snuggle time, and he usually has a sleep, so I can then have some "me" time!!
Don't be down on yourself..:)
Being a mum can be lonely, and isolating. Sometimes going out of the house can be more trouble than it is worth. I feel judged too by my hubby - I actually feel a lot better when he is at work during the week. On weekends I am not so happy because my routine is gone, everyone is home and in my face, and hubby is whinging. But then occassionally you have a great day, or the kids do something funny or (and you'll get this when your bub is a big bigger) you get a cuddle and an "I love you mummy" and it makes it all worth while.:o
Oh Steph we all have these moments/days. And everyone else is right being a SAHM is the hardest job in the world & sometimes it seems as though through our own perception or other people's "innocent" comments that it is the most unrecognised. So be good to yourself, tell yourself everyday that you look at gorgeous son you are doing the most important job in the world and noone can do it for him any better than you can. I think loneliness is horrible and I struggle with this as well maybe we all should start some sort of system where we contact each other if feeling extra lonely or having a bad day:confused: . Just an idea anyway hope your feeling better today
Hi steph and everyone else,
At the moment i'm feeling the same thing, DP left 3 weeks ago to do training with the army for 3 months, DD is 12months old and running an absolute muck all day, though this doesn't bother me because it's just her way of learning, it's hard doing it all day everyday! take advantage of DP being home more often and do something for urself, go shopping or for a coffee! just so u can have some u time. t does the world of good!
again just a suggestion but also playgroups and mums and bubs groups are fantastic! i go to about 3 during the week and i love it, getting out with other mum's having a coffee and a gossip! i've also made some really great friends who are in the same boat, so now we arn't as lonely during the day.
Keep ur chin up and keep smilin!!
i feel the same way!!! But my problems are that i'm too shy to go make friends and worry constantly (being a younger mum) about what people think about me. I've had bad playgroup and friend experiences too so that's no help...but this is not about me!! I hope you all have better days...look at your bub's smiles and smile too!! :o
hi steph and other mummies,
you know sometimes us mums are our own worse critics we are doing the hardest job of all time that is why women have the womb, and i know how you feel about hubby when they cant find a certain top or socks who else to blame but the person trying to keep up with the washing more so when you are a new mum its a shock to the system everyone needs you and you really dont know whos you any more.
Let me tell you im 33 on the 14 of march i had my first child at 16 my 2 at 22 and baby ethan 10 months ago and i am so proud of myself only now.... i realize what a great job i did at such a young age i dont know how i coped but having bubby really made me see what a good mum and partner i am and seeing my oldest two with bub and the people they are becoming makes me proud dont worry i still have down days:( but you will and are doing a great job and spending time with your kids is so vital and so with your partner its hard to juggle but you will us women are a tuff breed, talk to hubby let him know how he makes you feel dont keep it in and most of all make yourself feel good... when dad gets home i hand him bub take the stereo into the bathroom run the bath chuck rose petals in bubble bath and my fav drink and tell him to take him for a walk in the pram and i relax even if 30min it helps, then i use some nice bodybutter and im done.
hang in there, cheers.:ecomcity:
hey my name is kate and i have two little boys aged 2 and 3.I'm only 21 and my partner and i have been 2gether for 4 years. You could have been describing me in your thead.I don't know anyone with babies and it gets very lonely with just the boys for company.when he gets home from work i just want to go out and do something and he always says he's too tired i don't drive and so tha means that i'm stuck at home all day.He's also very lazy!!!! if u wanna chat pm me or something it would be nice to chat to someone going through the same things:)
Yes, it will get better but be aware that there will be many periods through out your life when you feel lost and depressed.
I had my first child at 22 and always felt very young, but things do not change. I now have a 9 year old daughter's who has friends have parents my parents age! It was very hard for me to connect with others when I first had her but now 9 years later not much has changed.
I think part of the key is to seek friendships where meaningful connections can be made. For this you might have to go outside your normal circle of friends, if a mothers group does not work for you then try another interest based group. Maybe a music group or pottery class for example, common interests can bring strong friendships. Age some how does not matter as much when you have other things in common.
Just a few thoughts.. I know how you are feeling though. :)
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