Would you?

[dannii]

Im curious , how many people would carry a child for somebody else?

I think surrogacy is wonderful thing.. and would consider doing it for someone in need. However, i dont think im finished having kids myself yet.

Just wondering people thoughts on this were? Would you do it for someone, or would u only do it for family members or somebody close or you wouldnt ever consider it?

[Pixie]

No I wouldn't I know I would not be able to emotionally..I would become to attached I think.
But anyone who does is doing a great thing :)

[Goosie22]

I would do it for a very close friend or family member only and as long as they promised to breastfeed:) I wanted to donate eggs but I was too old.

[Funkychicken]

I would quite happily carry a baby for someone I cared about but only if it wasn't my own eggs. I couldn't do it knowing the child would have to deal with the issue of my eggs, different mum. I think it would be the greatest gift in the world to carry a baby for a couple who had produced the embryo.

[Ana Gram]

no, I don't think I would ever be able to no matter how close I was to the person.

[misskittyfantastico]

before I had my daughter I would've said no way but now that I know what a gift motherhood is I would consider doing it for a family member or close friend. I don't think I would be able to us emy own eggs though.

[goldcoastgirl18]

i would do it for my sons godmother- my boss..
as she is now 36 and no partner by the time she fines a guy i think it will be to late for her, she has worked with kids all her life and wants one more than anything, spoiles my bub so much the love she has for him i can just tell she would be great with her own...

although while there inside u fall in love with em then giving birth to them and seeing them im not sure if i could do it but i would love to see her with her own little bub...


:) louise
:rolleyes: 25-11-2005

[Jenko]

I would like to do it for someone, I think I would also prefer to not use my own eggs too. I have also thought about egg donation, but haven't finished my own family yet, so will re-consider this in a few years.

Seems a bit wierd saying i would consider donating my eggs, but would not carry a baby for someone else using my eggs. I don't know, it's obviously something that would take a lot more than just thinking about it. But what a wonderful gift! :D

[Baby Girl]

I would definitely do it for the right person/couple and the right reason - a lot of questions would have to be asked and answered but I would feel privileged if I was asked to do this for someone!! What a special gift to give a person or couple.

[Lunar]

Even before I became a mother I said that I would surrogate if someone asked. It would have to be a family member or close friend, or at least someone I knew VERY well. And yes, definately have to be their emryo. I wouldn't do it if they wanted me to donate my egg as well.
Also I would definatley ask the would be mother if she was going to breastfeed, that is very important too.

[Aimee'smum]

Found this thread while browsing...this is something I always wonder about! I actually don't think I could carry for a close friend or family - because then I would see "my" baby all the time...I wonder if I could handle that? Probably not if it was my own egg, but maybe if it was solely their baby and all I did was carry him/her/them. I thought that perhaps being a donor would be easier, but I guess there isn't much difference, you are still "giving up" a part of you. I would still like to do one of these things in the future - we love our little girl so much and to think of all those wonderful people who couldn't otherwise share that joy - it's the most important thing any of us will ever do - raise, love and nurture another human being. DH's sister was having trouble falling, and needed hormone injections. I thought about whether we should offer to help this way, but she ended up falling naturally, after 8 years and just before they decided to give the injections and then IVF one last go! (That child will be so blessed!)

I think perhaps I will end up being too old though, by the time we are finished our own family, we would like 3 or 4 children and I am almost 30, so will probably be 35 by the time we have completed our family, though we do want them close together - Aimee is 5 months, and were are going to start trying again soon.

Does anyone know someone who has done this? I would love to talk to someone about how hard it was, or to someone who had a baby carried for them.

[MrsMiggins]

I have always thought that surrogacy would be such a wonderful gift to be able to give. Unfortunately we had troubles conceiving #1 ourselves and I had PG complications that mean I will probably not be able to have several PG's. I would dearly love to have several children and dread the day that I will no longer be able to have another baby.

My #1 DD is only 4m old and I was shocked to find myself deeply disappointed to see old AF today when I knew there was a slight possibility of being PG.

I want to have as many babies as possible, so that does rule out being a surrogate mum for me I guess anyway.

I also would like to add that as for the BF issue, while I think BF is the absolute best thing for baby (and a great thing for mums also), I have changed my very pro-BF views since having my own bub. I was unfortunately unable to BF due to a number of issues & while I was devastated & plan on trying again for #2, I now know that a baby can be happy & healthy & indeed thrive on formula and that sometimes it is just not viable or possible for a mum to BF, or to continue BF. If I were a surrogate mum, I would not question the mum-to-be about BF, as I would not like to make her feel an even greater failure if she were not successful in being able to BF.

[Starlet]

I think I would do it. I wouldn't do it for someone who doesn't want to 'lose their body', believe me there are people like that out there!

I wouldn't use my own egg. It would be too hard to give it up. I would definitely consider it once I'm done having my own! I've had problem free, by the textbook pregancies, labours and births so it wouldn't be too much for my body to handle.

[bronny-jane]

i dont want to sound selfish (but i guess i am), i couldnt do it i'd be to attached even if it was for my best friend, but those who know me well wouldnt even ask. i would never donate my eggs either, any child they made would be mine in my mind couldnt do it. i have no problems with anyone else doing it though. i just couldnt.

[onabreak]

I am undecided on this subject as I would find it very difficult to just hand the baby over and that was it after carrying it for 9 mths. The only time I think I would do it would be for my sister as she has lost two babies already and is pregnant again and hopefully she will be able to carry this one. So it is a very had decision to make for anyone. But if I did do it it would have to be once I have had all the children I wanted.

[BiNdI86]

I could and I would!!

I agree with the majority of ladies in that i probably could not handle using my own eggs..depends on the situation really

But even before i had Tahlia i always said that i could and would do it without batting an eye. :o

[TheFirstJoel]

Isn't surrogacy illegal?:confused:

[Refresh]

As much as I would love to be able to ...I am not sure I could go through with giving up a child:( It would be a great unselfish act wouldnt it?

[tyler's mum]

i could'nt do it,,, carry a baby inside me for 9months then just give him/her away,, my sister has been told she can't have kids and as much as i love her i could'nt even do it for her,,, we have talked about it and she understand,,,, i think it would take a very strong and amazing person to do it and be able to cope,,,,

[rockabye]

If i had a friend or a sister who had trouble conceiving or carrying babies then I would definately do it as long as it wasn't my eggs.

I don't think I could do it for someone i wasn't close to.


to answer the legal question - no it is not illegal anymore but there is alot involved legally.

[tyler's mum]

even if it was my egg's,,, i would be still carring the baby feeling the frist move,,, feeling the baby move every day,,, and then giving birth,,, it would'nt be as easy as just doin it to help your family or friend out,,,,

[Refresh]

I really wish I was unselfish enough to do it...I highly admire anyone who could do it:):thumbsup:

[rockabye]

I know if I did it I would definately suffer emotionally and physically, that is something I think i could handle for a sister or a really close friend.

[tyler's mum]

i already suffer depession so don't think well i know i could not handle it

[Refresh]

I know if I did it I would definately suffer emotionally and physically, that is something I think i could handle for a sister or a really close friend.

That's wonderful:thumbsup: :kiss:

[~angel~]

Id love too, but....class myself as over-maternal (if theres such a thing)..
And I feel I would get too attached.
But I raise my glass to anyone who has or is going surrogate..I do think it would be such a rewarding gift!!

[LittleBoysRock]

My sister and I have an agreement that if either of us couldnt give birth we would carry a child for the other.

I now have a child but if my Sisiter cannot carry a child I will carry one for her. :)

[mrsrobo]

No you would get attached emotialy to the little bundle of love how could you give to someone else when you been carrying it for 9 mths

[My3kids]

Yes I would carry a Baby for someone else. I think it's the best present you could give someone.

[My3kids]

Sorry this will probably start a Stir, But I think that is awful that some mothers can say that you would only give them a child if they promised to breast feed! Some people can't breastfeed so are you going to depride them of a child! This is my point of view!

[MumsieMel]

Sorry this will probably start a Stir, But I think that is awful that some mothers can say that you would only give them a child if they promised to breast feed! Some people can't breastfeed so are you going to depride them of a child! This is my point of view!

I agree! :thumbsdown:

But back on topic, YES!

I would be a surrogate Mother.

I know it would be hard but i would still do it.

I dont think i could carry my egg and then give it to them, but i could with their egg.
But i would also donate my eggs, which i think i will when my family is finished.

Let me explain my reasoning:

* if i dont use my eggs they just die anyway, so may as well give them to someone else. Think how many eggs you have throughout your life, how many do you use?
* If i carry someone elses egg then its not my baby, im just keeping it alive until its parents can take over the job.

Hope understand what i mean. :)

[*butterflykisses*]

I would be a surrogant mother if I could but i cant

i get very ill when im pregnant and i have c/s and since this is my 3rd c/s I doubt i could have another (due to medical advice)

but we are pretty sure that my sister cant have kids and I would love to give her the gift of a child

[Tan-mumof3]

I would definately do it for a family member or close friend, well i would like to i would obviously have to discuss it with dh if the situation ever arose. I don't think i would do it for people i don't know.

[tanni_83]

i personally dont think id be able to due to the fact that i had a terrible pergnancy with elise, not being able to 'keep' the end result (obviously the baby) would just be traumertising to me!!!

Although i think i would absolutly love to become an adoptive parent from an open adoption. to me that is just as great. :hugs:

[jmmj]

Before, I had my two girls, 2 and nearly 4, I thought I might like to surrogate for another couple. Now I have had them I absolutely would but not using my eggs. I love being pregnate. I carry well and labour even better. The only thing that would hold me back at this stage is Jan O7 is my husband and my deadline for deciding if we have a third and final bub of our own and wheather or not anyone ever asked for my help.

[provencein3]

for those ladies that would consider surrogacy, would you consider donating your eggs, or is it more a case that you could carry someone's else baby from their eggs because you don't feel that it is your baby.

[My3kids]

Hi, I just want to say something as I have had a few people PM or email me. Now I know a few things, Like a lady has said on a previous post. I agree!

I couldn't carry my egg/baby and then give it to a family, but I could carry their egg/baby as it's not mine, I would be just the carrier.

I would be willing donate my eggs to a couple in need though we would need to meet and talk first!

Hope all that has PM or email me do find what they are looking for!

GOOD LUCK!

[Twoterrorsmum]

I would consider being a surrogate for my sister or close friends. I won't be having anymore children. If they were using their own eggs then I'd definately do it. If they could not produce their own eggs and really wanted to use IVF with a donated egg and asked me I would consider it. A couple of my close friends at the moment are seeing a specialist regarding her ability to fall pregnant. There are quite a number of issues they are facing at the moment, a couple for example are whether she can actually fall pregnant to start with and even to carry a baby to a safe stage. Hopefully all these problems will be able to be worked out, if not, I have had a conversation with them before regarding this and I told her I wouldn't mind being the "oven" for them if they had no other options left. When I said it to them they were over the moon that I offered this. They are such a wonderful couple and I know they would be great parents, plus I would feel so proud and priveleged to be able to give them the precious gift of their own child. Anyway, will wait and see. BYE!!

[lil_chookie]

As the years go on and pregnancy is just not happening for us, I have 2 close friends who both have offered to be a surrogate for us.

I would never ask this of them, as much as our heart aches for a child, I just wouldn't. I feel so so so lucky to have 2 women offer me this amazing gift, but watching them go through the pregnancy would break my heart.

[meli]

I think I would do it for one of my sisters. But I don't think I would be able to donate my eggs - so they would have to be the biological parents totally & I would carry the baby.

& I think I would only do it after I had finished having my kids - I know it's selfish but I would end up resenting them if I carried their child and something happened and I couldn't have any more.

[kids]

Havng been through IVF myself I understand the longing for a child you cant have. In saying that tho' I dont think I could carry a child for another person - firstly I dont think my body would let me and secondly because I dont know if I could separate from it at birth and give it over to someone else.

My sister asked me for my "spare embies " when we finsihed on IVf - I couldnt give them to her tho'. They are part of me and my dh - and I coulndt give them to her and then watch them being raised by someone else

I think people who are surrogates are very special people

[annsam]

I would definitely carry a child for my best friend who is having trouble having a bub but it would have to be her egg and his sperm.

I will donate eggs willingly when my family is finished if I am not too old but couldn't donate to someone I know well if that makes any sense.

[BlessedWithBlue]

If it was for family i would do it in a heart beat!! I also couldn't use my own eggs either.

[bitz]

Its good this topic came up. Ive been thinking seriously about this for a few weeks now.

My cousin who I have always been close to and helps me out alot with my kids, was pregnant a few months ago. She had a terrible time throughout the whole pregnancy, in and out of hospital and not knowing each day whether she would lose her baby. She got to 24wks and was rushed 3hrs away to a special hospital where she gave birth to a beautiful baby boy, He had her little nose and started growing black hair. She was so happy and excited to be a mum, and everyone knew she would make a great mother. Her little man was a fighter but sadly he lost his battle to fight for his life anymore he developed pnenomia and died 28 days later. it was just devastating to her and our family.

The doctors found out later that she has an abnormal uterus and doesnt think she will ever be able to carry a baby full term. She just holds no hope of ever being able to be a mother.

So back where I was at the start, I havent told her but would like to say to her that I would be happy to carry surrogate a baby for her, with her egg. I know it takes a strong person to do this, and I would just like to think I could be strong enough to be able to give my cousin/Bestfriend a chance of what ive got to experience 3 times over now and that is to be somebody's mother. Ive had 3 caesars, and the doctors have told me medically because of the scar tissue that I would be only able to have 1 more child, and I'd give it up for her.

[SassyMummy]

I would LOVE to be able to do this for someone...but the thing is, I don't trust my emotional strength enough to ever actually do it.

I would get attached. Or, I might...and in my mind, that's too big of a risk to be taking. If I were to be a surrogate mother, it would be horrible for me to suddenly feel angry towards the woman whom I'd give the baby to because I'd feel "she was taking MY baby away". Having a baby live inside you...whether it's made with your own eggs or not...I would definately feel like I was the parent.

If I did, however, I actually think it would be MORE DIFFICULT to see the child raised by someone close. I'd feel the urge to "monitor" their up-bringing and probably wouldn't like some of the choice the parents made. Again, that's the reason I'd never do it - because I'd want to be too involved.

That being said, I think one day I'll give up my eggs. I would give them to anyone who needed them...close friend or stranger...so long as I knew that they were stable, healthy, loving people. I wouldn't feel a connection to the child because, although my eggs might be a part of me...I don't feel them, I don't care about them and I don't feel a love for them. Having a baby growing inside me would be far different.

To all the mums who DO choose to be a surrogate - you are angels!

[toothfairy]

I think it has a lot to do with mindset.

If you are a surrogate mother and you know that genetically this baby is not yours - you realize that you are merely babysitting this baby for 9 months and then you will give it to someone who is less fortunate than yourself. Being a parent, you realize how much children bring to your lives and also if you feel these people you are carrying for would make good parents - You are giving someone the greatest gift you could ever give a person. I think that would be pretty rewarding.

I think surrogate mothers are the most amazing people.

Aimee

[pestiferous]

I'm a little confused by those who say they would be able to carry another's child but would never donate their eggs.

The egg alone is not and can never be a child.

On it's own it is nothing more than a tiny little spec of wasted possibility, a few useless cells that would other wise be 'flushed' out each month without a second thought.

Yes, there is the possibility of the egg being fertilised, creating A child but in reality does this really make it YOUR child ?

It may well have your genes, but this does not in my view make you it's mother.

I know it's socially acceptable to pretend that unconditional whole hearted love existed from the very moment they were born, I know we are supposed to pretend that some magically instantaneous connection exists.

But in my opinion, reality tells a completely different story. I believe you can not be a mother without a mothers love, and a mothers love is not created by the mere fact a few left over cells helped create the child.

The bonding process begins at different stages for different people, some feel it the moment they find out they are pregnant, some when they first feel the child move and others do not feel it until months after the child is born.

One thing is for certain, i have never heard of a woman mourn for an egg when their period begins.

So why equate donating those same wasted cells with giving a child away ?

Perhaps i am slow, but i can not understand how one could have such an emotional 'connection' to left over eggs while still being able to distance themselves completely from a child they carry ?

[xkwzit]

I think its just a very personal thing and will be different for different ppl. I am one of those who could never donate an egg. It is one thing for me not to use it, and another to give it away to someone to make a baby with. Even with that egg fertilised by some one else, in my mind it would still be mine. The donor child would also be a half sibling to my own children. I can't give my potential children away, even if I was not going to have any more. It may not be logical, but it is just the way I feel.

I know other women who have no problem with it at all, it is just the gift of a cell. I think that it is absolutly amazing to be able to give that gift, and I have a great respect for women who do donate eggs (or carry surrogate children for that matter).

I don't think either is right or wrong - we're just different.:)

[Little Gorilla]

the only person I could ever do this for would be my sister as I just would always want to be part of the childs life. Not the childs mother, just an aunty, but still an important part of their life.

[WizzFizz]

The only people I would surrogate for is my two sisters. If they asked me, I wouldn't even think twice about it!