I don't know what to do

[kiki82]

My BF's son Landen is with us 90% of the time. His mom pretty much only wants him when its convenient for her. She's already told us when she moves 1500 miles away she's thinking about surrendering custody, to where BF gets sole custody.

Anyway I love Landen to death, he's truly like one of my own. He's only 2 and a half, and lately he's taken to calling me mommy. He hears my kids calling me that so he does it. At first we were correcting him but that wasn't working so we stopped. It doesn't bother me in the least but as a mother I know I'd be terribly upset if I knew my children calling someone else mommy. She's heard him call me that too. You could tell it made her mad but she didn't really say anything.

Has anyone else been through this? Any advice? Should I just let him call me that?

[Angelmist♥]

I would just let him call you that. What does he call her?Mum as well? I honestly think he's too young to understand why your kids call you Mum but he should call you Kim KWIM.

[SweetAngels]

I was living with my mum when my DD was that age and BC she heard me calling my mum, mum, she started to as well and i just left at that, once she got older and was able to understand she started calling her grandma.

If as long as he grows up to know that he has a mum and a step mum he should be able to call you what ever he is comfortable with

[canberramomma]

If you are really concerned, why don't you talk to his birth mother about it and explain that you are making sure that he knows who his 'real' mum is, but with your children calling you mum, it's natural that he does too?

I had a similar conversation with my ex when DH and I started having other children and DD#2 started calling DH daddy.

As long as the other parent knows that you are not trying to cut them out of the child's life, they should be cool with it (if they are reasonable about your situation, that is).

[pegasus]

Sounds like a tricky situation where you have Landon for 90% of the time and if his mum surrenders custody - it will get trickier.

I guess if it was me, I'd continue to just say my name after he'd called me mum and leave it as that.

My hubby's children have had two other men they've called dad - (one they called their other dad) and their relationships with their mum didn't last which left the kids very confused. I've always had the step kids call me by my first name (I've known them since they were 2 and 4), and when strangers in the shops have said something about "oh, is your mum buying you that" or whatever, there's been a few times where they haven't bothered to correct strangers that I'm their step mum - we just go with what works at the time - I never tried to be their mum, but if Landon moves in with you fulltime, you will be effectively his mum - you'll have lots of decisions to make and his discipline to handle, but it's probably easier to correct things at this age than try to reverse things when he's older

[toni796]

I would not worry about it to much as he is too young to know the difference......if she is moving 1500miles away and is considering giving DH custody that would be even more reason not to worry about it as she can't possbly really care what he calls you as she is thinking of doing this anyhow.