Have you ever talked someone out of circumcision?

[Ashleigh<3]

Have you ever discussed circumcision thoroughly with a friend, one who's expecting a child/one who's not, etc?

A friend who initially started out as pro-circumcision, but after your help, showing them videos, giving them variable bits of information that thoroughly explain the whole procedure, what is actually being removed, statistics, etc.

Well today I did, I was not harsh, I never would be, this person is very close to me and I just did my best to make sure she knew what she was getting herself into.

She almost cried when I showed her a few videos of circumcision, the reaction of the Mother but most importantly the reaction of the baby- Was hopefully enough for her to understand.

When we first started discussing circumcision, she was pro-all the way, her main reasoning’s, her partner is circed and his sister is pro-circumcision for fashionable reasons.
She has never studied circumcision in depth-EVER. She says she doesn't need to because 'she', knows how beneficial circing is.

So I begged my friend, I told her, please, just give me 30 mins to show you this information, the videos, the statistics, let me show you what is REALLY involved, and how truly unnecessary circumcising is.

I'm sure some people would hate me for it, but I'm glad I did it. There is nothing wrong with showing people information and helping them understand the truth behind certain medical procedures.
Considering she had no recollection of circumcision info, I hope that I have really helped her understand it a little better.

I just hope her partner’s family don't pressure her into circumcision for superficial reasoning’s.
She is a young soon to be Mother and she needs information and support.
I told her I could never hate her for making whatever decision she makes; I just hope she honestly reads up on it. Regardless of the decision she makes- She deserves to be informed.

So have you ever been in this situation, how did it go? Please feel free to explain.

Thank you!

[prideNJoy]

I personally havn't changed anyone's mind on the subject as yet!
BUT MN, did change mine. :wave: Thanks.:D

[Ashleigh<3]

One of the new video's I found on youtube earlier, was the worst one I'd ever seen.
I couldn't believe how far deep they cut, it was at least two inches. :(
The baby was so distressed, at one point I thought he stopped breathing. :(

[serendipity22]

at one point I thought he stopped breathing.

In one study some of them did stop breathing.

I think it might have been the Landers study.

[Ashleigh<3]

Thanks for the info serendipity, I'll be sure to tell my friend about that too.

[RedPanda]

I haven't changed anyone's mind. My son is intact, and I do not believe circumcision is necessary. But I would not bring it up with a friend unless she asked me, because I'd feel that it was really none of my business.

[Ashleigh<3]

I haven't changed anyone's mind. My son is intact, and I do not believe circumcision is necessary. But I would not bring it up with a friend unless she asked me, because I'd feel that it was really none of my business.

I completely understand.

My friend initially asked me about why anti-circers are so anti-circumcision.
So I did my best to explain why.

I suppose if she would have blown up at me, I'd of taken it as a sign of going to far.
I don't feel like I went to far.

[Mamaduke]

I haven't changed anyone's mind. My son is intact, and I do not believe circumcision is necessary. But I would not bring it up with a friend unless she asked me, because I'd feel that it was really none of my business.
Me too.

[xkwzit]

A reminder of the guidelines: please do not use accusatory or judgemental terms. Further instances will attract infraction points. Full details can be found here (http://www.bubhub.com.au/community/forums/showthread.php?t=120823).

Cheers

[broncochik]

No i havent but i would be intrested to see videos or info about it as my hubby wants to do it, but i really am not sure. Do you know wher you can get videos to watch besides utube

[shed]

Nah, I have never talked anyone out of it, but friends of ours were considering it and then changed their minds and I did make my opinion known then (I hadn't said anything before that).

I said something along the lines of "oh thank gawd for that".

Actually, I just remembered that another friend of mine has his son done and when I took DS over there when he was first born my friend asked me if I would get him done and I said "hell no, I would never do that" even though I knew his kid was done. I think its okay to let people know I think its wrong for my son and leave it at that.

[Tristans_Mum]

My friend was over today and we talked about it. She said to me that if she had a boy she would get him done to look like his daddy :mad:!!
I really wish i could change her mind as the reasons she was giving me were silly

[SassyMummy]

I am trying to "brainwash" (lol) my friend... she's not pregnant, or TTC, and doesn't have any kids yet... I'm just getting in early.

I'm already trying my best to inform her about circumcision (which wasn't hard... she didn't care either way and said she wouldn't bother because she just doesn't care, and her partner isn't done so she doesn't have him to contend with), vaginal birth, breastfeeding, cloth nappies...etc etc.

I hope she takes it all in. I try to do it nicely, and informatively... though I know I'm a bit pushy when it comes to the caesarean thing. I just don't want her to experience it because I love her... I wouldn't wish it on anyone.

[Ashleigh<3]

I am trying to "brainwash" (lol) my friend... she's not pregnant, or TTC, and doesn't have any kids yet... I'm just getting in early.

I'm already trying my best to inform her about circumcision (which wasn't hard... she didn't care either way and said she wouldn't bother because she just doesn't care, and her partner isn't done so she doesn't have him to contend with), vaginal birth, breastfeeding, cloth nappies...etc etc.

I hope she takes it all in. I try to do it nicely, and informatively... though I know I'm a bit pushy when it comes to the caesarean thing. I just don't want her to experience it because I love her... I wouldn't wish it on anyone.

I can understand a lot of which you've said.
This person is very close to me, and we have habbit of going over things together to help each other. For instance, I am **** at science, she know's more about physics then I do.
I am really good at eating- I show her where the good stuffs at!

Of course some people can confuse a person's, 'coming on strong', attitude with rudeness, but usually friends take in the advice because you're their friend, and they know you want the best for them.

[circangel]

No I have never talked someone out of circumcision or not that I know of anyhow.

[Can I?]

Obviously not trying hard enough circangel ;)

[Areca]

Yes I have...wasn't rude about it at all. She knew I am ant circ and asked me why. I explained a little bit to her then told her I'd email her some links and she went from being someone who used to say 'when I have kids if they are boys they will be circumcised...uncut penis's are sooooo disgusting' and she comes from a family where all her brother's and nephew's are done and now she's dead set against it for her own kids.
That's IRL....I have changed a couple of people's mind on the net too (not on bubhub). I wasn't rude, just constantly asked for explanations as to why they thought that and asked for proof to back it up and when they couldn't find the answers it made them stop and think about why they were so for it in the first place.

[PaperTiger]

Yes I have, I'm glad to say.
After witnessing the suffering of little tiny babies and being shaken to the core of my being by the pallor, screams and vomiting, I found it very easy to do so. I only had to describe what I actually saw for mums to freak out and change their minds.

[Oli'sMum]

My partner needing convincing.

He was very much FOR the procedure so that he and our son would 'look the same'. He also had the misconception of uncircumsized willies being 'unclean'.

I did heaps of research for and against to present to him. I have always been against the idea but am willing to listen to opinion and reason fairly.

I found some real medical images and information of the procedure, its not as easy as a quick snip and there you have it... this mortified my partner.

I am saddened and angered by the thought of inflicting pain on my baby boy for him to 'look the same' as his father :no:

I also get very angered at the notion that it is unclean to not have it removed. Boys would be dropping dead or getting filthy infections all around us if that was the case. Circumsized or not, boys need to wash properly... problem solved.

He was won over and my little guy is intact.
DS is a happy camper and I was too as I didnt have to change a nappy of a baby all gauzed up :smiliedance:

[MW&S]

I havent yet...where I can find the videos? What other info can I present? My closest friends Dh wants their new baby circ'd and she doesnt. But she is sort of not as fussed as her dh is, so she is letting it go ahead. I really want to her inform her so she can make the decision knowing the info. :)

TIA

[mumwiththree]

I am already a mum of an 11 year old boy. When I had him, I was a young Mum of 18. His biological father was not circumcised so there was no pressure there, but males on my side of the family were, and there was a little bit of pressure from them.
I did enquire about it while still in the hospital, but was told that it was not done at that hospital unless it was for religious or medical reasons.
My son has not had any major problems from not being circumcised, but I did find when he was younger that he would get little infections under his foreskin from not rinsing the soap off properly. But other than that, it has been ok.
The only other thing was that I was a single mum from the time he was 6 months old until he was 5, so it was up to me to teach him to clean properly by pulling the skin back. A little embarrasing but mums do what we have to do.
I am now married to a man who is circumcised. And now that I am pregnant and have found out we are having a boy, the subject of circumcision has come up.
I have worked in hospitals for the past 3 and a half years and some of that time was spent in maternity. I have seen the surgical instruments used in circumcision and the blood.
I am convinced that if men where meant not to have foreskins, they would have been born without it. And that it is living tissue, and causes the baby pain.
My husband says it is up to me, but that he believes we should get it done. Do I stand firm or appease my husband for peace??

[Milliner]

Mumwithtwo - I think that you should stand up for what you believe. Maybe you could educate your husband, show him a circumcision video or two.

Does he think his son should be cut just to look like daddy? What are his reasons for wanting the procedure?

There is some reading material here, (http://www.bradley-etheridge.com/circumcision.htm) it is anti-circ.

[serendipity22]

Circumcised men often feel threatened by a son who has a complete set of genitals. It makes them feel the shame and grief of not having the full equipment. Many would rather avoid these feelings by circumcising. Violent, superficial and selfish, but its often the case. (The circumcisions of today justify the circumcisions of the past.)

One thing you might want to read is
http://www.udonet.com/circumcision/vincent/vulnerability_of_men.html

Please stand up to him. One work which sometimes works with men is to see a video of circumcision. There is a good canadian one at http://www.intact.ca/index.html
(You need to find it from there as per the ua.)

[spoon]

:no:

I do not feel the need to do this at all,

My sons are intact also.

If somebody asked me I would state the truth, I have not done this to my sons. But I have not ever been in the position where I have been asked.