Wishing well for engagement?

[stassy83]

Hi everyone

Im planning my engagement party for November. Just having it at my parents house as they have a beautiful back yard with a pool. So were going to put up a marquee and some fairy lights everywhere. Thinking either a spit roast and salads or finger food, and were supplying the drinks.

Just thinking though, is it expected that guests buy pressies or money for engagements? And would it be rude to include a wishing well poem with our invites? We really dont need anything for our house, but after just having a baby recently I am not working so we would love to have money put towards our honeymoon instead of pressies.

Does anyone have any wishing well poems that may be suitable for engagement? honeymoon?

Thanks in advance.

[fifipirko]

Wishing well for engagement ... hm .. personally, I would find it offensive and rude to be asked for money.

If I go to engagement party I always buy present but I know people do not do it.

But on the other hand I do not know the protocol of what to do and do not :o)

Good luck and enjoy the night :D

[oleander]

I wouldn't do it for an engagement party because guests shouldn't be expected to bring gifts. It's not like it's a formal occasion. Maybe just wait until the wedding and do one there, or even a Flight Centre gift registry.

[zenifa]

I have to agree, one shouldn't plan a party or celebration of any kind with the gifts in mind, it takes away from the real meaning and purpose - which is to celebrate your engagement!!
I think its okay on the invite to stipulate 'no gifts' (if you really dont' want any!!) but to have a wishing well is going to be off putting or even offensive to most people (also it means that you can't do it for the wedding, as 2 wishing wells will definately be rude!!). People who want to give you gifts will anyway, just as people who want to give you money will do so anyway, and yes it is rude to ask!!

[ealing]

Hi,

It depends on how well you know your friends and if they would be offended if you did ask for money, but in my view, to have an engagement party with presents and then to have a wedding with presents is a bit off putting.

As you have mentioned, if you don't need anything for the house, on your engagement invites state something like "no gifts please" and as a PP has suggested a registry at the flight centre where they can put an anonymous amount towards the flight may be a more subtle way to ask for money if that will help contribute towards your honeymoon.

It also depends on what culture you come from, Asian cultures as well as some European cultures it is the norm to give money or jewellery, usually it is money. Coming from an Asian culture getting married to a caucasian it was a bit difficult to explain this to my husband's and even my friends who are mostly white. My Italian friends and Asian friends gave what they would usually at a wedding; money despite us stating on our wedding invites "no gifts please" as we were relocating to London after our wedding.

Hope that this helps out a bit.

[jen023]

Hope this helps

They have their dishes and towels for two
They have pots and pans and oven mitts too
So what do you get for the Bride & Groom
Whose house is setup in every room?
Their house needs repairs and some upgrades too
But you can not register for carpet and glue.
A well that holds wishes is the way to go
So lets make it easy for all that know.
An envelope will be provided for those who have room,
To give a monetary wish to the Bride and Groom
A wishing well will be on display at the reception hall
To attach your wishes, for the couple, with love from all.
------------------
More than just kisses so far we've shared,
Our home has been made with Love and Care,
Most things we need we've already got,
And in our home we can't fit a lot!
A wishing well we thought would be great,
(But only if you wish to participate),
A gift of money is placed in the well,
Then make a wish .... but shhh don't tell!
Once we've replaced the old with the new,
We can look back and say it was thanks to you!
And in return for your kindness, we're sure
That one day soon you will get what you wished for.
---------------
Our home is quite complete now, we've been together long, so please consider our request and do not take us wrong. A delicate request it is, we hope you understand. Please play along as it will give our married life a hand.
The tradition of the wishing well is one that's known by all. Go to the well, toss in a coin and as the coin does fall, Make a wish upon that coin and careful as you do. Cause as the well's tradition goes your wishes will come true.
So on this special day of ours, the day that we'll be wed. Don't hunt for special gifts but give money in it's stead. And as you drop the envelope with money great and small, Remember, make your wish as you watch your money fall.
------------
Soon you will hear our wedding bell,
As Friends and family wish us well.
Our household thoughts are not brand new,
We have twice the things we need for two.
Since we have our share of dishes and bedding,
We're having instead a wishing well wedding.
But more important we ask of you,
your prayers of love and blessings too!
------------
Now we are to be Mr & Mrs We don't need a wedding list of dishes we have two kettles, two toasters, two microwaves We require a house for which we have to save. If you would like to give us a gift, A cheque or vouchers would give us a lift We like to think of it as our 'Wishing Well' Which will be filled with your love, we can tell
---------------
We’ll be glad if you can join us on our special day
To celebrate our love in a very special way.
More than just kisses so far we’ve shared,
Our home has been made with love and care,
Most things we need we’ve already got,
And in our home we can’t fit a lot!
A wishing well we thought would be great,
(But only if you wish to participate)
A gift of money is placed in the well,
Then make a wish….but shhh don’t tell!
So please don’t be offended at our particular request,
As this way we can choose the gift that will benefit us the best!
No name is needed, anonymity is the key,
So if you wish to participate please feel free.

If finding a gift is hard to do,
Our wishing well is just for you!
A gift of money is placed
in the well
then make a wish...
but do not tell
If it is, however a gift you find
please fell assued we
will not mind.

[SassyMummy]

I think gifts are no obligatory at engagement parties... I think they're optional.

I wouldn't be too impressed if I was expected to fork out for engagement AND a wedding. I'd probably still bring a small gift for the engagement, but I'd rather not feel like it's expected of me.

[ButterflyMama]

I think wishing wells in general are the height of rudeness.