feel superficial and an awful person

[loui999]

Hi
Feel down today :crying: DS eczema is weeping and looks horrible on his face. His body is not too bad at the moment. I hate the looks we get when we go out. Perhaps some of it is in my head. We went to a party for DD on Sunday and I kept being asked if he was teething! I feel compelled to explain to strangers why he looks this way. I don't want to get family portraits done as I don't want to see it in the photos. This makes me feel horrible and terribly superficial. I feel it is more about me than him, as most of the time he is happy enough. I just want it gone. I keep saying - 'a baby should not look like this'. I can't bear this continuing throughout his baby years. If eczema is so common, why don't I see more babes who look like him? Does anyone else feel like me? How do you cope? Feel so sad :(

[HoopDeeDoo]

:hugs: :hugs: It does look awful, but if it's like my beautiful boy it does get better :hugs: :hugs:

Have you looked at what could be causing the excema?

Once we realised Noah was allergic to eggs and peas and cut it out of my diet when BF, and his once he started solids that helped a lot.

We coat him head to toe in the Hydroderm in a tub sorbelene cream every day after his bath, used the oats bath you can buy, or one I made myself from oats and sunflower oil.
The QV kids balm is pretty good aswell to put onto really affected areas.

Make sure he isn't over heating, all that sort of thing really helps. Only put him in 100% cotton clothing.

Also make sure your clothes, sheets and his are all washed in a sentisive skin detergent like Amolin, or Purity, or Planet Ark Aware for Sensitive Skin

But mostly it takes time :hugs: :hugs:

[hayleysmummy]

I do know how you feel I dont see any other bubbas with it either DD's is covered in it all over her torso and back so its not seen very often until now (Summer) people look at her chest as though I have done something to her becuase of how weepy the patches are :crying: Some people just have no idea. I could never walk up to somebody and say What is wrong with your baby? To me its just rude I also think it effects me more than DD because of the fact people stare
:hugs: to you I hate this condition with a passion why do our babies have to have it :crying:
I think I just cope with it because I have to if I ever comke acrooss someone that is really staring at her at stare straight back with an evil look on my face no sooner do they turn there heads and walk away
With the portraits you can go somewhere to get the photos done but beforehand ask if they can fix the photo IYKWIM and make bubs skin look perfect
Have you tried the nui oil yet?

[mel04]

I know exactly how you feel. Both my girls had terrible eczema on their faces. Everyone had an opinion, i was told by countless strangers to change formula, use this, use that, oh it's windburn, it's teething... It use to drive me flippin insane!
And like you i hated looking at their photos cos they were both so cute but no one said that, they would say oh, look at their cheeks, instead of, oh isn't she pretty. It was like no-one could look past their scabby cheeks.
I'm sorry you are going through it to, i don't really have any advice, because unfortunately theres really not much you can do. I just hope that your bub is lucky enough to outgrow it like my girls did.
By 13 months their cheeks were finally clear, they still get eczema on their bodies but not as bad as their cheeks ever got, and at least i can cover it up.
I will reccomend using XMA skin therapy, it's all natural and it was the only thing apart from steroids that helped my girls.
:hugs:

[loui999]

Thanks ladies
HoopDeeDoo - I am doing all the eczema management stuff. He is allergic to cows milk but cutting this out has not helped and I suspect there are other things going on. He has showed a clear reaction to potatoes and I think he has a problem with the nightshade family - potatoes, tomatoes, eggplant, capsicum, tomatoes. There is less and less I can eat. I am BF too.
Hayleysmummy - yes the looks from people are just awful. I feel like I don't want to go out at all most of the time. I have the nui oil and also got the body bar which is good in the bath. The oil mositurises well but have not noticed much change otherwise.
mel04 - 13 months!!!! I think I will meltdown before then and if it lasts till 5 years as I have read then I don't know what I will do! I have tried the skin therpay XMA and had no results.

Steroids have little effect on his face and I don't like to use them. I am starting to not bother with them at all.
Oh it is hard!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[youngones]

IKWYM about the comments. DD's eczema is actually pretty well controlled with all the 'lifestyle' things to do (washing powder, cotton clothing etc etc) and a combination of Zyrtec liquid twice a day and dermaid 1% every night, but she still has nasty patches around her ankles and wrists/hands that look awful, worse when she chews her hands like now while she's teething and other spots on her legs, arms, back, tummy and occasionally face and head.

It is a really common problem in babies, but I guess for many, it is localised to places like behind the knees or just one or two patches elsewhere. DD is almost never completely clear and we are now always having close encounters with nuts, despite our vigilance. Nearly every week after her daycare day, she has a rash, but they can't be expected to ask people not to give their kids peanut butter for breakfast, when they've already banned it in the centre. I too am sure that she's reacting to other things, but who knows what?

Just keep :fingerscrossed: that they will grow out of it.

[forbetoel]

Please try not to feel like this, your baby is still beautiful. My brother was covered from head to toe as a baby, and my mum had the same problems as you, she even got some really cruel comments and some mums even dragged their children away from him. Although it may be hard for you, I say stuff them, go out and enjoy your gorgeous baby. There is nothing wrong with expaining to people about his condition, as it is often ignorance that makes some people so cruel, you will just be deucating people. Give your little man a kiss from me. :hgs:

[bubbasmum]

I know exactly how you feel. I am going through this at the moment. Everyone always seems to point out the rash around his mouth as if i dont know its there. Hopefully your ds's eczema will clear soon.:hugs:

[Ana Gram]

I know how you feel. At least when it is on other parts of the body, it can be hidden. DD is 3 1/2 and is going through a period of having it on her face. She has very pale skin and the eczema looks awful. People often stop me to ask me if she is sick and with suggestions :rolleyes:

[loui999]

Thanks for the kind words
4boys2love - I felt teary after reading your post. Thanks
Today I feel a little better. Yesterday got so bad was considering giving up BF, even though I don't want to.
I have some new theories about his triggers and am going to test them out through further elimination. This of course means further food restrictions but am thinking of seeing a dietitician to help with this.

[Nowhere]

Hugs to you, your not superficial at all

we dont deal with ecxma but i do know how you feel with the looks and the not wanting to do photoes ect, we wnet through astage like this with miki we didnt want her to remember her self with tape and tubes on her face etc and we thought it was sad and looked uncomfortable and not how a baby should be, so we didnt take many photos, i can honestly say i really regret it and wich that we had of been snap happy

Your not superficail at all, but just think the look of his ecxma bother everyone else more than it does him, IF excma is going to be long term thing for him then he wil need to get used to it and except it and so wil everyone else

It may sound easy for me to say that not dealing with excma but I do understand, I was squirmish when kenzee got her G tube placed and as it looked awfull and saw etc and a really nice surse said to me if you dont except it she never will either and that wil make it a lot harder, i know its a difernt thing but in a way its a simalar situation

:hugs:

[loui999]

Thanks Amy Hugs to you too.
I think you are right. Sometimes it is hard to be rational lol

[Ness80]

Hi there,
I am just entering the world of eczema and I am hating every minute of it. My DS is 4mth next week and it is getting a little worse every day. Nobody has it in my or hubbys family so its very unexpected. I have been to a naturopath who said it is all gut and diet that causes eczema and I may have to change formulas (AGAIN) but she suggested I try Grahams natural alternatives as I dont want to go to cortisone just yet. I hope this works, if not my next step is a kinesiologist (sp?) he will be able to tell me what he is allergic to or what the reaction is from, which im afraid he might say everything:confused:, and if i get to the end of that road I may try steroids :(.
Hopefully you find what is causing it and rid it forever like i hope to.

[youngones]

Ness80 - I'm not meaning to put a dampener on your visit to a kinesiologist, as I have one that I see occasionally too, as well as a Chinese herbalist, but for food allergies, particularly with a little one, I'd urge you to see an allergist. A kinesiologist 'diagnosed' a friend of mine with multiple food allergies, including tomato, mushroom, gluten, nuts and dairy, which made her life a nightmare and after seeing a few specialists, it turns out her allergies are to pollen, dust mites and grass - no foods at all. Once she addressed the problem, her eczema cleared up.

[Ana Gram]

I have been to a naturopath who said it is all gut and diet that causes eczema

I actually find this quite worrying. There are many, many causes of eczema. I urge you to see a dermatologist or a paediatric eczema specialist and find out the trigger to your child's eczema.

[Cat13]

Hi Loui999

From all the lovely responses you already know you are not alone in the way you feel.

But thought I'd add my thoughts anyway since I've had similar feelings and experiences. I'd get the 'oh is he teething' or even worse 'does he have windburn/sunburn'. A few times I was also asked if I was still BF and when I replied yes made to feel like I was being selfish for doing so in case stopping may help his ezcema. Made me worry people thought I didn't take care of him properly even though it shouldn't matter what others think. And even though I know it's very common I also never notice any other bubs out with obvious ezcema.

Whenever I knew we were visiting people or DS had a playgroup or anything, the night before I'd always be willing his face to clear up and hope no new flare up would occur. Not that DS cared, he'd have a ball regardless! I have also cancelled many pixie photo sessions - as cute as DS is regardless of ezcema it's not exactly what you want hanging up on the wall. But 2 weeks ago his face was finally clear enough to finally have the photos done :smiliedance:

For whatever reason DS's face especially has improved dramatically and I must admit I'm already forgetting how bad it was at times. Funny how now that it has cleared up my DS is constantly getting compliments when we are out and about. It's nice but would have meant more to me to get a kind word when his skin was really bad and I was feeling like we were both invisible.

[loui999]

Oh Cathy thanks


Whenever I knew we were visiting people or DS had a playgroup or anything, the night before I'd always be willing his face to clear up and hope no new flare up would occur. Not that DS cared, he'd have a ball regardless!
Yes me too

It's nice but would have meant more to me to get a kind word when his skin was really bad and I was feeling like we were both invisible.
Yes I know what you mean
Thanks again. It is good to know these feeling aren't 'abnormal'

[Cat13]

Nope, definitely not abnormal

I do feel superficial too for being much more concerned about the ezcema on his face than anywhere else on his body!

[LitVoiceSP]

I can COMPLETELY relate to how you're feeling and it's not abnormal or superficial at all, it's completely understandable. My DD has had terrible eczema on her chin for weeks and weeks, with constant infections, and people keep asking me why it's like that and can't I do anything about it. :hair: She's had numerous courses of antibiotics and we've tried everything. Finally something has worked and it's looking a lot better, but on the days I don't use the cortisone it gets worse again, so I don't know if it'll ever go away.

I just want to give you a big hug and say you're not alone. :hugs: