I feel devastated...

[petster]

My almost 9 month old has decided to self wean... I can't believe how absolutely devasated I feel... I'm sitting here balling as I type this....

She was unwell last week with fevers and bad congestion, which made it hard for her to breathe, so she wasn't feeding well. She would try to feed, and then would keep coming off the boob to breathe. I supplemented with some EBM I had frozen, but that supply is almost gone... It's like she has a bad association with the boob, because whenever I put her into position now she just bucks and cries and won't have a bar of it. As soon as I sit her back up and put my boob away she's OK... She's otherwise well now, and is happy to drink water, EBM or formula...

The timing is freaky - I start back at work 2 days a week from Thursday, so she will be having a formula feed at lunch time. I'm not sure if that has anything to do with it, as she has been transitioning at daycare for a couple of weeks... It's like she's saying to me "Fine! You don't want to feed me that lunchtime feed, then I don't want you at all!"

Her last feed was a day and a half ago... I can't seem to express more than 20 mls at a time and that's hand-expressing. Can't seem to get anything with the breast pump... I'm worried I'm going to lose my supply... Has anyone else experienced this?

How many formula feeds should she be on at 9 months? Anyone have any tips for a plan of attack - please!

Thanks in advance!

[mumofKieran]

Hi, I don't know if you read any of my posts a few weeks ago, but this is EXACTLY what happened to me, down to every last detail. My baby was 9 months and 1 week (this is the second time today I've recounted this story!) and had tonsilitis and inflamed ears, was painful to drink, he kept pulling off crying and then after a couple of days he would no longer even attempt to feed but would scream and cry, arching his back, every time I offered. He never went back to it. I also lost my supply really fast, so got a script for Motilium, thinking this would keep me going till he was better and wanted to drink again. Alas, he never did. So now he is having EBM in a cup, and I am expressing full-time for him. He has not had any formula. I am still on Motilium as this is the only way I can keep my supply up. I can't believe how similar our situations are... if you have any other questions don't hesitate to ask!!

[mumofKieran]

PS I was also totally devastated and still am...

[draught]

Miranda
I have no experience in this personally but get to read everyone else's experiences - I think it is possible, with some perseverance to keep your supply up and to get her interested again, if that is what you want. The first major piece of advice is to ring the ABA - they have better answers than anything I can offer here!

First - for supply there are a number of options - there is a great recipe on here for lactation boosting cookies that people swear by. Fenugreek is also recommended for increasing supply and then there are prescription options like motilum etc.

Second - getting her interested again. Thinking about DS who is a similar age - try a sleepy nighttime feed - she won't be thinking of anything except comfort and food then and that might be enough to get her back into the groove of it all.

I can also recommend a lactation consultant if you want that?

Apart from that - a big hi from the chilly south! Hope the return to work isn't too stressful - I am looking at one myself.

[rachdent]

If you pm me, I can send you some information that I have on breast refusal...

[stellarella]

Its not uncommon for bubs to go through periods of Breast refusal. My son did this at around 8/9 months to a lesser degree. He was feeding only once or twice a day and just didnt want a bar of it for a while. I got a bit distressed but it was soon over.

If you want to keep BFing then persevere through this tough time.

Its unusual for an under 12 month old to actually wean. Its more often a period of breast refusal or fussiness.

Good luck. :fingerscrossed:

[shed]

As stellarella has said, its rare for a child to self wean just yet so its probably more accurate to say its a nursing strike.

If you think of it this way it might help you persevere.

I hope you can work through it for both of your sakes, and if not, you have done a wonderful job so far and should be very proud of yourself.

[MrsTwith3]

Oh My Goodness there must be something in the planetary alignments. My 11month old DS started biting and after a few times I tried the detatch, put him on the floor and telling him No dont bite. Tears followed each time (i.e. every feed) and as of today he is now refusing the breast.
I too am in tears at the possibility of no longer breast feeding my boy.
I dont have any answers for you just some :hugs: and to let you know I know how you are feeling.

[petster]

Hi guys

Thanks so much for all your replies... You can always count on Bub Hub to deliver the goods!

I have good news! I offered DD a feed at 4.30pm, when I knew she wasn't full from solids, and lo and behold she took it! :smiliedance: I just sat there feeding with a big goofy ecstatic grin on my face! And she also had her usual 7pm feed with no fuss - just eyes half rolling back in utter ecstasy (her - not me!).

Damn breast refusal! It's hideous! I wish I knew what it was all about!

Your help and support is much appreciated - thanks again...

Cheers!

[shed]

MrsTwith, I am being bitten at the moment too. For the last two days. DS is 13 months.

I have realised that he bites when he is overtired. It does make me nervous though, he can't move one millimetre or I react. I won't let him move away too much, I have to almost cram the boob in his mouth so he can't get those little toofy pegs near my poor old nipple.

These babies, don't they realise we are doing them a favour?????? :hair: ;)

[draught]

Great news Miranda! Here's to a long and happy breastfeeding relationship!!

[mumofKieran]

If you want to keep BFing then persevere through this tough time.

Its unusual for an under 12 month old to actually wean. Its more often a period of breast refusal or fussiness.



It may be unusual to self-wean before 12 but when triggered by illness/pain it is a different story, especially when around this particular age. The pain when feeding causes a negative association to develop, and presto, they are put off. It isn't always a permanent thing but in my case it was and I have heard of other cases like mine since it happened to me. Not trying to be negative but sometimes this is the reality and it is devastating for those concerned.

[mumofKieran]

BTW Miranda that is fantastic news, you must be so relieved:thumbsup: Good to hear a good outcome to this :yes: