Lesbian Conception?!

[mahadra]

My name is Mahadra, and I am new to this site. My partner and I have been together quite a long time, and we are ready to be parents! We are thinking to have a male friend of ours conceive with me "the old-fashioned way" instead of scientifically. Has anybody been in this situation? Any advice on how to approach the subject with him? We have never done this type of thing before, but we are "natural" people and don't want to involve doctors or "turkey basters" :) It's intimidating, because I just want to be a mommy like most women in their late twenties! Thanks for the advice,
Mahadra

[Freya]

Hey mahadra, check out the same sex parents section. You will find out more info down there...:thumbsup:

Good Luck to you and your partner:D

[Tam-I-Am]

If this is something you're going to do, I would strongly advise appointments with a psychologist and a solicitor first.

You need to all know your role in what's to come, and be okay with that - and have legal understandings about that in place. Without them, you're ALL left vulnerable.

Good luck with your baby journey.

[westerner]

I cant see the problem with it as long as all parties involved are comfortable with the situation..

I wouldnt rush into it though.. I would ensure there have been many sit down discussions with all 3 of you involved not only in your own space but also with a therapist or something.. Just to ensure you are all on the same page and you all realise and accept the nitty gritty details and the future can be discussed.. will the "father" have rights, will he be known as the father or not.. what happens down the line when you want another child etc etc..

Also prob best to have some documents drawn up with the rules and conditions you have all agreed apon..

You just dont want things to go sour or have someone (most likely the "sperm donor") change their mind in the future and have it negatively affect the child..

I wish you and your partner the best of luck in your quest for a family.. :hugs:

[karmalunar]

I personally don't think it's the best option available to you, but in saying that i wouldn't judge you on your decision as to how you concieve your child. My dp and i used known donor sperm and had no issues what so ever with her inseminating me. We both feel that we made our baby together and equally Valentine
Best of luck with however you choose to start your family!!

[Milliner]

If that's the way that you want to go about it I say go for it.

I do agree with Tam and Goose, make sure that all aspects have been discussed.

Good luck with your baby making.

[GraceUnhearing]

i guess the only problem would be
you may not get pregnant first time
so your going to be having alot of sex with him if it doesn't work straight away

some women TTC for years or so

[ontheway]

No "the old-fashioned way" for us DYI("turkey basters" )did the trick.
Not sure if I could go "the old-fashioned way" I would feel like I was cheating on my DP.Plus I just cound not.But each to their own, what ever works for you and you DP.

Hope your baby journey has gone to plan.

[Rabbity Babbity]

Where abouts are you located? In NSW if the baby is concieved via intercourse then your partner can not be listed on the birth certificate, and the "father" will have righ to the child.

[ShellKiz]

HI there,
My advice is definately check out the legal side of things. I know in SA that if the child is concieved via Vaginal Intercourse than the government can legaly apply for child support from the donor regardless of what role he plays in the childs life. If the child is concieved via Artificial Insemination (at home insem, ivf etc) then he has no legal responsibility.
My DP and i are doing at home inseminations via 'Turkey Bastor' (syringes) and she has told me that she feels like she is playing a role in the concieving of our child.
I personally couldnt willing sleep with a man.
Also another bit of advice, make sure you are willing to try with him numerous times and that you will be cool calm and collected each time as it is a proven fact that when you are stressed etc it makes TTC alot harder.

Hope this is of some help

[readymummies28]

Hi there,

Just wanted to mention out experience with the baby making process. We started our journey almost 1 year ago. Our first decison was to do it naturally. We found a donor willing to do this. At the beginning it was ok but then after a while it started to strain our relationship because i wanted to know what went on. Then when my partner told me i felt all jealous. It wasnt a nice experience but we got through it.

After finding out we werent pregnant we decided to just do it through home insemination. It was much less stress on both of us and i felt more apart of it because i am the one inserting the sperm.

Also if your in NSW if the baby is concieved naturally then you cant have 2mothers on the birth certificate.

I hope this helps.

A & A

[Rainbow Mum]

I wouldn't recomend it for all the above reasons !

Legally sex means the father goes on the birth certificate and is liable for maintenance.

Whereas home insemination with a syringe done by your partner carries none of the problems involved with sex with a male.

ASK yourself why you would even contemplate having sex with a man when it is not necessary to conceive a child and you identified yourself as lesbian not bi.

There seems to be something more to this !

[BlahBlahBlahh]

i Can't get pregnant been trying with known donor for a little under two years so i went to doctor a got a referral to IVF doc waited a month to him paid him too much money and nearly the hole time he was cracking jokes at me about wiring my mouth shout to help lose weight and my lack of male parterres would make me a monk. i could usually laugh all this off but at the time i was half naked with a ultrasound wand up my clacker. dose anyone know a doc that is decent in brisbane:hair:

[mums2be]

:wave:hey qld fertility group have lots of nice doctors and the nurses are lovely too :) their website is www.qldfertilitygroup.com.au (http://www.qldfertilitygroup.com.au) hope this helps