family not liking baby's name

[novembermum]

Hi,


I was just wondering if anyone else has gotten critised (sorry about the spelling) by family member by what name you chose for you baby?

My partner and I named our DS Xero (t-s-ero) Arius Arquimes and my grandmother decided to bad mouth me to my mum saying I'm a disappointment and that his name is horrid.

What do you do?

[clucky]

That's a cool unusual name - i like it!
your baby, your choice. my parents named my younger sister Tamlyn but always gets Tammy, around our grandmother we always had to call her (sister) Tamlyn cause G'MA didn't like tammy as a name.

[moonblossom]

Bah humbug, you name your son whatever you choose.

Its different yeah, but as with everything different, you get used to it in time.

[Supermum]

What do you do?
You accept that they don't like the name and not worry about it anymore. That's life.

They'll soon get used to it and tire of making it an issue ... look at Apple:)

[Bec]

I agree, it's your child so you and your partner have to be happy with it.
You can't possibly make everyone happy and naming your child isn't about making sure everyone else likes the name.
As long as you are happy, everyone else will come around. It will grow on them.

[only1mica]

Hey Novmum

I havent had bub yet but...Dont worry!
Let them think what they think. If anything I would confront your Gran and say that it really upset the way she spoke about you.

My neice is named Ruby....and her my SIL's dad asked her if she was 'serious' :eek: .

If that was my dad I would have given him a backhander!!

Good Luck :D

[nemosmum]

I dont know how old your bub is but here goes.......................:D

When we told family and friends (at around 5 months) we were calling DS Orlando
we got the raised eyebrows alot and from my dad and mum we got alot of flak.

My parents went as far as sending me baby name books and bad mouthing the name Orlando as if it was the worst ever name:eek: NOT!

Now O is 19 months old and both my parents LOVE it, whenever we are out with my mum she stops strangers in the street to tell them his name (yes she is weird:D )

They will get used to it, hopefully.......

If not then forget about, dont waste one more sec worrying about!

[my babyemmy]

A friend of mines MIL only calls her grandchild by his middle name as she thinks his first name is disgraceful and she will never say it, all the old bags friends think his middle name is his name!:confused:

[JeSsIkA]

Hi

My son is 2 weeks old, we decided on his name Taj when i was about 5 months preg. my in laws were constantly asking us what the name was again and again... and asking silly questions like. "is that a name'' and saying that they didnt like it.

now he is 2 weeks old they still asking what it is and cant pronounce it (through not trying) and saying is his name tash.. and things like that.

anyway.. we like the name so it dosnt matter what anyone else thinks.. hopefully the name will grow on them and if not.. its there problem not yours.. wouldnt you feel like an idiot now knowing how to say your grandsons name..?

[Sarie]

Call him what you are happy with and ignore them. We named our youngest son Patrick Joseph, but we call him PJ. My mother refuses to call him PJ and gets annoyed that he doesn't come to her when she calls him Patrick. We live 3 hours away from them and he's not even one yet so he doesn't understand that she is calling him. Now if she talks about 'Patrick' I say 'Oh, you mean PJ...'

[mygirls]

Don't worry too much.. some ppl should keep their opinions to themselves... I had the same problem when we had DD3 as my first 2 DD are named after places & gems..Adelaide Jade & Brooklyn Amber..i had a very inconsiderate family member tell me & dh that we would be "going to far" if we named our 3 child the same way..well too bad we named her Savannah Ruby & if she was a boy it was to be "Israel Jasper" (ALL of our family say they are thankful she was a girl:rolleyes: ) I dont care if ppl dont like our names...we think our girls names are beautiful & a little different:D So please dont let it get you down..you & your DH chose your DS name because you liked it...


take care

Kristy

[shed]

Its extremely bad manners to tell someone you don't like the name they have chosen for their baby. I don't know why people do it.

[cwsmum]

We named our youngest son Patrick Joseph, but we call him PJ.
I know your bub is still little, but I hope you will make sure he understands his name is Patrick, coz once he goes to prep/school most teachers will insist on calling him Patrick, not PJ.
My mum works in a state preschool and she has heaps of kids come thru that don't know their proper name...a few years ago now there was 3 JJ's...none of them knew that they had any other names, even tho one was Joshua, one Jacob and Jennifer...yes a girl was called JJ by her family. I think you get my point after all that rambling :p

Novmum...I think your bubs name is cool...a little different...but whats normal these days anyway?

My inlaws gave us funny looks when we told them what we were naming each of our kids, but now it's not an issue...I guess if it were still an issue they know we would probly not visit. Their latest thing to complain to us about is that DS has still not had a haircut...he is almost 3 but has the best curls and it doesn't get in his way so we don't think it needs cutting yet.
So, you see...family always find something to complain about :rolleyes: Well, mine seems to...

[Rahmi'sMum]

I avoided the problem by not telling anyone what names we'd picked... if MIL has her way he'd be called James Muhommed and he would have been circumsized as is muslim custom.

Well... neither of those things were gonna happen! So here he is little Rahmi, and we only got positive feedback which is how it should be!

Ignore their opinions... if your boy hates his name he can change it by deed poll when he's older... my brother recently did... he was Jihad Fawaz... ughhh.. he is now Jay.

[BlessedWithBlue]

Luckily both our families like our kids names, but it took a little while for my grandma to pronounce his name right and my own mum still asked what his name was until he was about 2 months old:rolleyes:
My ods still gets called Ryan and Ryland by my family a lot though:rolleyes:

The next baby we are not finding out the sex so therefore the names we have chosen won't be announced to my family until the birth.
I don't think they'll be too thrilled with what we have chosen though, i'm sure they'll make fun of our boys name if we tell them beforehand too.

If you're curious we have chosen Sehana Alyce and Jett Alexander.
not too strange imo but you know families!!!

Xero is a great name!!!

[Ana Gram]

I know your bub is still little, but I hope you will make sure he understands his name is Patrick, coz once he goes to prep/school most teachers will insist on calling him Patrick, not PJ.
My mum works in a state preschool and she has heaps of kids come thru that don't know their proper name...a few years ago now there was 3 JJ's...none of them knew that they had any other names, even tho one was Joshua, one Jacob and Jennifer...yes a girl was called JJ by her family. I think you get my point after all that rambling :p



I can identify with that one! I thought my name was Shelly until Prep. Our teacher decided to do an activity that told us the meanings of our names and got us to write them down on a big piece of cardboard. She then informed me that I was being silly and that wasn't my name. I had a big arguement with her and was quite upset. When I told my mum she cringed and told me it was true. It was a huge event at 5 or 6 years old and I had a while of "who am I?". It was sort of like I thought I knew who I was and was suddenly told I wasn't that person. That was a lot to deal with at that age!!

On the subject, question: Who gave birth to the child? You did, not your grandmother. Either tell her to pull her head in or just ignore what comes out of her mouth on the subject and put it down to senility.

[Rainbowbrite]

Our family's were the same with us, MIL has even said that if we used the name that we had picked out for a boy then she will call him by his middle name :mad: She'll be in for a rude shock if we ever do a boy cause we're going to be using the name :cool:

Oh and as for the PJ thing, we do the same with MJ. We named her what we did so that we could call her MJ. At my school growing up when we enrolled they asked for our name AND our prefered name.:) PJ will soon tell people that his name is PJ not Patrick :p

RB

[CJJHRA]

There are a few names that I would not name my kids, cause I dont like them, but I think they sound nice on others :D And I dont know how anyone, especially family, not like what you named your kids.

They had (or maybe one day will have) their chance to name their children, so you have yours and call them what you like.

[Sarie]

[QUOTE=cwsmum]I know your bub is still little, but I hope you will make sure he understands his name is Patrick, coz once he goes to prep/school most teachers will insist on calling him Patrick, not PJ.QUOTE]

He will know what his name is. But when you fill out forms you have the option to put down a prefered name. So we would make sure that his teachers know what we call him as well.:)

[Cheekychops]

My grandma is so like that!!! She thinks it's disgraceful what her great grandkids have been called - caleb & ethan on one side and jordan & jamieson (mine) she says she doesn't know how you can do that to the poor kids. I think all four of these are nice boys names, and said to her - well, you got to name your kids what you wanted - now it's our turn, it doesn't really matter if you don't like them, we do. - maybe a bit blunt, but hey, it's the truth.

I do however have a SIL who still, after 3 1/2 years can't or maybe won't, pronouce jamieson's name right!!! we repeat it the correct way, everytime she says it, but to no avail. There are a couple of people like this, even daycare teachers.....i'm like, hello, do you think I'M mis-pronouncing my own sons name???? Say it like me!!!!!

We say it Jam-i-son but SIL and some others say Jay-ma-son. mum thinks they say that cause we put the 'e' in there but i thought we might call him jamie when he got a bit older, but he won't have a bar of it.....if you call him jamie he gets really snotty. He likes jami or jordan calls him jam, and he also answers to jimmy. He likes the name jamieson though.

So, I say tell her what you think of her comments, and that behaviour like that is more disgraceful than what you decide to name your own child!

[ETsMum]

He will know what his name is. But when you fill out forms you have the option to put down a prefered name. So we would make sure that his teachers know what we call him as well.:)

FYI....
I don't want to put a downer on this topic but the preferred name section is not for nick-names as such. It is really for when kids are not known as the name on their birth certificate. Eg the kid could be named after their father John Paul. Dad is known as John and kid is known only as Paul.

The school will let you write whatever you want (just that Admin may choose to ignore it) but the teacher should just go with whatever you want.

[saskia]

Hi all. I haven't had to worry as yet if people are gonna like bubs name. Our first is due in June. The problem is that MIL is never overly excited with whatever we do anyway. We have already made it very clear that none of our kids will be named after any family member. So there won't be any surprises there. They can at least get used to that idea. If they don't like what we come up with, bad luck. I can't worry about that. They picked a name for my partner and changed it later because grandma wasn't happy that he wasn't named after his grandad.
In this case not all that bad. Frank is in my opinion still better than Edward.

Good luck to all with choosing names. It is difficult enough already without people telling you off later. Your parents and inlaws had their choice now it is your turn.:rolleyes:

[jarrahsmumma]

we didnt tell anyone until Jarrah was born, then just let them look at the little name tag on the bassinet.

we loved his name and didn't care what others thought.

my mum was worried we woule call him Rainbow Melon Dusky Tiber though...I would constantly give her far out names when pregnant. Then when Kath and Kim was on I said I liked the sound of Ephiniee Rae..cracked her up.

Your baby, your name

[proudmummy]

I didn't have much choice when it came to names, it's my Dh family tradition to name after family members. Since my family originally came from Russia I chose that. :shame: His family don't accept it though and persist in calling him by his middle name , his departed just before he was born great grandfather. If we lived overseas I would have just gone along with it but here: no, I didn't like it anyway

[deanbean]

I think I am going to get howled down in protests with this one but here goes:shame:


My name is a little different to pretty much all of my friends and whilst I realise that parents only have the best intentions at heart when naming their child (mine is due next week and we still haven't decided) please, please, please consider that your child will need to grow up with the name you are choosing. I realise that that almost sounds a little silly, well duh of course they will - but children can be cruel and adults just plain stupid when it comes to names, spelling (and anything else for that matter!!)

Of course they can change their name by deed poll when they are an adult, but by then they have had to deal with mis-spelling, mispronunciation and plain old teasing for close to 20 yrs. I am not advocating that all new little people be called Ann or Jane or John (not that there is anything wrong with that either) but it often appears that parents who are naming their children something a little bit or a lot more different and unique than others are freqently not people who have grown up with a name that has caused them grief.

If I had a dollar for every time I have had to spell (and then respell and then repronounce and then spell again!) my name for people who just don't listen very well I would be living in the south of France just down the road from Bono.

Suffice to say that whatever we name our child, we will have tried to work out all variations on pronunciation and spelling and will keep it as simple as possible. I don't think that this will in anyway lessen the individuality of my child, but seriously is Gwyneth's next baby going to be Banana or something?!;)

[O&GMUM]

I agree with you deanbean, but I also think if a member of my family chose a name that I didnt like I wouldnt ever say I didnt like it, unless they asked for my honest opinion.
I think people can be sooo rude, family or not where are their manners?

[~Chick79~]

My partner and I named our DS Xero (t-s-ero) Arius Arquimes and my grandmother decided to bad mouth me to my mum saying I'm a disappointment and that his name is horrid.


I will grant that the name you have chosen is very different, but for your grandmother to bad mouth YOUR decision is not right! :shame:

As someone else pointed out, your baby, your choice.

Personally I think different names are good - can really make a person feel special!

[2SPUNKRATZ]

when my sister had her daughter, i told her i didnt like the name. i said ' it just doesnt suit her. but, her name is hayley. not wierd, nice and simple, but i didnt think it suited her. i still dont. but, thats her name. i call her angel. but thats casue she is my little angel. my sis doesnt mind.
in this case though, i can totally understand, thats just wude!!!

are my chosen names wierd???

due soon - MARIUS

AURORA
LEITO pronounced lay-tow

the second and third are for future bubs.


im just curious cause noone ever really comments.

[elissas]

Heya,

I like Marius, it's lovely. I like Aurora, it's a gorgeous name (when I see it written) but whenever I say it it feels like a mouthful, and I don't normally have problems pronouncing words or names :) We have a friend who called their daughter Aurora and lots of people shortened it to Rory because they found it was too mouthy to say Aurora all the time.

I've never heard or Leito, is that for a boy or a girl - is it Japanese in origin?

:p

[Ruby Slippers]

I like the name it's up to you both ,
we have been trying for our third and i have always loved the name Willow for a boy or a girl everyone hated it but as the years have gone by they can't wait for me to finally fall pregnant .:fingerscrossed: .

[katyg]

When I told everyone what my son was to be called (I knew what to name he from the moment he was concieved), at first they hated the name. But once they realised I was serious, they came around. And now my mum loves the name. Especially as it just seems to suit him.

[shed]

We aren't telling anyone his name until he is born. I find that people are a little bit less likely to say if they don't like it if it is already their name rather than if you tell them beforehand.

A LITTLE less likely. Some rude people will always have something to say.

I love the name Aurora BTW.

Some of my friends have kids whose names I am not that fussed on. They don't know this though and they never will.

[jarrahsmumma]

I agree Shed, I have friends with names that I don't like, but I would never offend them in saying so. I also have friends with children with normal names, but spelled (IMO) stupidly! But again, it's their choice, and not my place to comment.

[shed]

Oh god, my personal beef is the bogan spelling thing.

My cousin used to go out with a girl called Leecer (I kid you not).

[jarrahsmumma]

PMSL! What is with that?:D

[Briannabear]

Look, choosing your baby's name can be one of the most difficult things to do! The last thing you need is for people to criticise your decision. It is such a personal thing.
This is why we never told anyone our baby names until our DD was born! Once they saw our daughter and heard her name they all went - thats just beautiful!!
We'll do the same this time as well - nobody will know until the baby is born.

At the same time, you need to take the baby's feelings into consideration when choosing the name too. Ask yourself - Would I like to have this name? If your answer is yes, you've made the right choice. If you're unsure, keep coming up with another name! After all, your child will have this name forever! :thumbsup:

[Kayteigh]

We never had any complaints from any one as we chose TJ to be the baby's name from about 4 months pregnant regardless if it was a boy (Travis Jay) or girl (Trinity-Jai pronounced jay) but the thing is everyone thought we new what we were having (hubby did as he asked when i was in the toilet cleaning myself up after the ultrasound and never told anyone:mad: ) I love the name :thumbsup: you have picked and if people dont like it tell them not to call your child anything at all if they arent going to call him by the name you have chosen for your child

Just my opinion sorry if it is to harsh

Katie and Rob
Tayla, Dylan and Travis:smiliedance:

[ozzysmum]

deanbean, i too have spent my whole life resaying and respelling my name for people who just can't get their heads around it as it is slightly different from the norm. i've even had people "correct" me on my pronunciation! funny you should mention bono in your post as it was he that totally turned me around on the drama of having a weird name. when i was 16 i got picked on a fair bit at school and often it was my name that made it easy to tease me... i met bono after one of the lovetown tour shows in 1989 and he was signing a shirt for me and asked my name. i told him and he looked astonished and said 'wow, that's a stunning name, what does it mean?" so i told him and he called edge (the guitarist) over and got me to tell him too. after that at school i didn't give a toss what anyone said about my name! and now i love it :)

we named our son odyssey and call him ozzy for short. the ILs refuse to do this and call him by his middle name, insist on spelling his wrong and frequently slag me off for giving him a weird name. funny thing is, it was his dad that came up with it :rolleyes:

sorry for the :ecomcity: this a topic i'm very passionate about!

[DjF]

My pet hate - apart from repeating myself constantly! Is people calling me Dianna or dianne or deanne or dean a - How hard is it to say Deanna? De-anna - easy!
But - in saying that - ive liked all the names here people have suggested - ive decided (told df cause i have to go through pain of child birth i get to do the naming!!) that our first sons middle name will be Aloyisius (think thats how its spelt - df's grandfathers name pronounced Al -o -ish - us - also James - after my grandfather) and his first name Raphael (my great grandfathers middle name) and we will nick name hime Rafe or RJ.
Dont care what anybody thinks of it!! They can bite me for all i care! Family can be full on - but i will just tell it to them straight - if they cant handle it - tough. But - we will prob wait till he's born - then let them know!

Raphael James Aloyisius Lennox!:smiliedance:

On the flip side - would still be nice for somebody to say thay actually liked it!
D

[Kobbles]

Well I love the names that have been mentioned.

My son's name isnt weird or unusual or difficult to pronounce or spell but we have copped the same cr*p you have all mentioned. My son's name is Mick. Not Michael!
Hubby and I were put down, whinged at ect and we have grown to not care (It definately wa hard at first but we have learnt to live with it! Hubby's grandad only calls him Micheal because he doesnt believe in nick names... UM HELLO, its NOT a nick name, its your great grandchild's real name!!!:banghead:

We know people dont like our choice of names for our future children but we really dont care anymore! I dont know that there is any way to not get angry about it until you and your partner are ready within yourselves not to care!

Good luck and as I said, I love all yours and your childrens names!

[hummingbird]

Hey DjF, I got married at St Aloysius College in Sydney (there's only one 'i') - its a very cool name.

I have an unusually spelt name, but get nothing but compliments on it. The fact I have to spell it out makes no difference to me at all. Give me a name that hasn't been fashioned to be spelt completely different to how you think and I'll give you a kiss on the backside. Jon or John, Kate or Cate, Jane or Jayne. It doesn't matter how 'plain' your name is these days, it almost always needs to be checked in case it's been 'altered'.

We have been thinking of Vincent for a boy ('but that's a wog name') and Lenny for girl ('isn't that a boy's name?'). People can't help themselves. I truely believe that once you say it long enough its hard to think of a child being called anything different no matter how different or unusual their name is.

cwsmum and chellegoth, I have experienced a variation on your post. I had always thought a longtime friend's Christian name was Ando, when it turned out it was Jason. His surname is Anderson. It freaked me out for a while as my brother is called Jason and they are so different. I just cant bring myself to call him Jason and always have a giggle when he introduces himself to people as his proper first name.


PS love the name Ozzy!

[the_queen]

siobhan - I am considering the name Vincent for our bubs too!! :thumbsup: I think you have FABULOUS taste in names :)

[ozzysmum]

i have an aunt called Leny so :p to anyone who says it's only a boy's name! djf i also have a dear friend called raphael and absolutely love the name - he's a gorgeous boy, inside and out and i feel good every time i hear the name being suggested for a baby :)

glad to see that there's so many people sticking to their guns about naming their children - we get so much pressure from our families in so many ways it's nice to see people standing up for their right as parents to name their child (especially when it's not like they are silly names like "apple" :p )

[Baby Girl]

oh come on apple is such a pretty name - I think I read somewhere that she is going to call the next one 'pie' :laughing: Sorry couldn't help myself :rolleyes:

[cwsmum]

My son's name isnt weird or unusual or difficult to pronounce or spell but we have copped the same cr*p you have all mentioned. My son's name is Mick. Not Michael!

I have a nephew called Charlie, not Charles. Alot of people hear his name and immediatly go 'oh, Charles, what a lovely old fashioned name' My sis has given up telling people his name is NOT Charles, unless it's people she will be seeing often. Funny thing is tho, my sis and her DH call him Charles sometimes...he also gets Chaz and Chucky...


I knew a girl when I was in high school who went by the name Lenny, her real name was Leanne.

[Imamum2b]

What family doesn't have problems with the older generations just not getting the name, and being rude about it (innocently or not)?

We told my MIL and SIL of our boys name and they replied "Are you serious?".

And I would NEVER do that to another person. In fact, my mums best had a bubba last year and named her with a name that none of us like in the slightest - but because she is such a beautiful lovely girl, you end up liking the name too (for her) or at least a nickname.

I like names that you know how to spell as soon as you hear it and pronounce as soon as you read it.

Personally for me, having a name that is not that unusual (Peta), I am sick to death of having to tell people how to spell it. For gods sake people, Peta Toppano was in Prisoner 25 years ago! And it's P E T A not P E T T A or P E T E R!!!! arghh!