Questions Questions Questions

[mced]

Hi All,

Im new to this site, and came here to find out some answers because I would like to donate my eggs.

All the info in the stickys has been great, but I have some random questions that I wouldnt mind getting answered.

So here we go, and please excuse the novel Im about to write, sometimes I ramble :)

1. How judgemental are you in picking someone who wants to donate their eggs? Do you care what they look like, or how they live their life? Please elaborate this is a big one for me.

2. The whole counselling thing. What exactly is it trying to determine. For instance I have no maternal instincts whatsoever, and view the whole process as not that big of a deal. Your giving away something your not going to use, so someone else might as well have the opportunity for happiness that you so easily throw away. Is this the wrong attitude to have? Am I being to blasay about it all?

3. Another question about attitude. My partner asked me wouldnt I want to one day meet the child who could potentially be like me.
My answer was No, because they are not and will not be like me. I believe your a product of your environment, and you become who you are from the people who raise you.

* The reason Im aking these questions about attitude is because Im afraid I have the wrong one and I dont want to get someones hopes up and then fail the counselling part because of it.

4. Will you tell your child about the whole process when they have grown up. Why or why not?

5. Do you meet the donor?

6. How often can you donate your eggs? What would be the cycle? Im 22 and would like to do it whilst Im young so people have a better chance, so how long between donating would we be looking at?

Um yeah I think thats all for now.
If you have read this far thanks :) and if you could help me that would be awesome:smiliedance:

[kandd]

Hi Mced,

I am a recipient and I hope that I can help you by answering your questions. There are lots of other women on this site who I am sure will be only to happy to contribute.

1. Interesting question. We placed our ad seeking a donor here on bubhub. I guess I never really held out much hope of finding anyone. I went into the entire process with a completely open mind, I had no thoughts at all of what I wanted or expected my donor to be like. When we were first contacted I was completely overwhelmed by the generosity shown by a complete stranger. I personally believe that it is not my right to judge someone who so selflessly gives of themselves. Having said that it was important for me that our donor only proceed if they were 100% happy donating to us.

2. The counselling ensures that both parties are completely aware of the process, the legal aspects and the outcomes. Your relationship with the recipients and any future expectaions will be discussed in an effort to ensure that both parties are happy with the arrangements. As a donor the counsellor will establish your reasons for donating and ensure that you understand that any resulting child is "not" your child as such. I think your attitude is great - and very similar to those of our donor.

3. You are quite right - it would not be your child. There is no pass or fail in the counselling session. It is simply there to help and guide everyone in an effort to prevent issues happening in the future. If you do not want to have any contact with the child in the future that is fine, there will be recipients that are happy with and/or want this type of relationship.

4. Recipents are counselled to tell their children about their origins. In our case - a really close bond has formed betweeen us and our donor family. Any child that we are lucky to have will know our donor.

5. We did - both our donor and ourselves decided that we wanted a known donor situation. When we first met we did not know how things would turm out. Initially we all thought hat we would have minimal contact but as our friendship devloped this changed - now we are very close friends. Its really up to you how you want to proceed. Perhaps - go with the flow. It is hard to predict.

6. There is a regulation that says you can only donate to 10 familys - your own family is deemed as one. We were the second family that our donor donated too. She was advised to have a 6 month break between donations for her own health and well being.

Hope this helps.

Goodluck with your decision - I am sure that you will make one or more families very happy if you decide to go ahead.

Diana xx

[tejaslove]

Hi Mced

I too am considering donation. Thank you for posting your questions, I will be following your post as the questions you asked are ones that have been rolling around my head too.

All the best with your decision.

[Roxy]

Hi Mced!

Diana has answered your questions beautifully (big claps to you Diana!!)....and I really can't add too much more.

But - if you don't want contact with the family that you donate to, and aren't interested in who the people are etc, then I suggest that you approach your local IVF clinic and talk to them about anonymous donation.

[BrookeinOz]

Personally I think you as the donor can be as choosy as you like! You are offering someone a miracle and you have to be 100% sure that it is the right *fit* for you. What do you mean *You may have the wrong attitude?* As a hopeful recipient I think you sound like you have a very good attitude both honest and compassionate!!

[jariah4]

hi mced,

i think it's great of you to consider being a donor....
at 22 i too didn't have much of a maternal instinct .
that may change later in life . it did for me.
now, at 43 i have 2 dds.
i myself may need an egg donor if i am unable to conceive at this age.
good on you.