heritage??

[tyler's mum]

my daughter is half african,,, her dad is not in the picture,,, however when i was pg and still now,,, i've been wondering if i should try to teach her some things about africa im not sure what, as i don't really know anything about it [africa]

i know one day when tyler is older she may want to find her dad,,, that's another stroy:rolleyes: .... i'm just so scared that no matter what i do, not only with this topic,,, im goin to screw things up:( ... i wanna do my best in giving everything i can to tyler such a love, understand and so on.... i know i can't make up for her dad not being in the picture i just don't want her to hate me for it,,,,

I'M SO SCARED!!!!

[reAllytee]

Love her.
Kiss & cuddle her.
Protect her.
Feed & clothe her.
Teach her.

You cant make up for her father not being there but thats something you cant control. What you can control is lavishing her with all your time, effort & love as this will show her that no matter what her mum will always be there even if others leave.
Show her the affection she needs to grow into a well adjusted little one.
Love, food & warmth is all a baby needs which is what mums are for ! This is what will make her happy & give her all she needs.
Teach her about her heritage whether it be what you know of her fathers or your own give her a sense of belonging & family.
Just because your the only parent she has for now doesnt mean you wont be good at it & in fact i bet it will make you stronger to be better than you could ever imagine.
Your going to make mistakes, we all are that doesnt make you a bad parent it makes you human.
If you love your little girl then she will know it & appreciate you for the great person you are. Treat her how you wish to be treated thats all she will ask.
Be proud of yourself & the job you are doing.
Your a great mum ! :D

[tyler's mum]

i have always wanted to be a mum,,, and now that iam,,, i'm just scared im goin to stuff it up,,,, thanks for your advice

[nemosmum]

Tam, Ill let you in on a little secret.....................all mums are terrified of stuffing "it" up and worry about doing the best for their bubs ;)

Dont worry too much, your a great mum and from what I knw of your situation there are some very good reasons why Tylers dad is not in the picture.

I think its great that your thinking ahead about helping Tyler get in touch and feel connected to her paternal heritage.

What part of Africa is Tylers dad from?
DH has cousins from Ghana and I just met a lovely girl on another mums site whose daughter's dad is from Zaire (sp), what Im trying to say is maybe you could meet other people from simialar backgrounds.

Dont get down on yourself, you love Tyler and thats all that matters right now........:)

Chat later S

[reAllytee]

i have always wanted to be a mum,,, and now that iam,,, i'm just scared im goin to stuff it up,,,, thanks for your advice

There are many times in a day that i feel this way too ... Im often in tears over it also.
Its pretty standard to be scared & absolutely scared sh!tless to say the least the fact that you worry tells me the sort of mum you are ... a kind, caring, loving & normal parent going through every emotion we all do.
Try not to stress too much hun.
Anytime you need us we are here :D

[tyler's mum]

tyler's dad is from ghana,,, i don't know much about it or know anyone else from there,,, i guess i just have to keep in mind and remember that there is a good reson why his not in the picture.....

i had a good chat with my mum today about this [for like the 1000 time:rolleyes: ]
and she tells me every time that as long as i love tyler and never lie to her about her dad, love her, give her a good home,,, then i can't go wrong,,, and she will grow up knowing i did what i thought was best for her,,,

i just can't help but worried,,, like you both said i guess thats what being a mum is about....:)

[nemosmum]

Small world after all LOL:D

DH's cousins ex husband is from Ghana and they have two boys ( a 4 yr old and a 13 yr old)

If you want I can give you her number or get her to call you, maybe she can give you some where to start researching Tylers heritage. Im sure she wouldnt mind chatting as she is also now a single mum and your kids have the same cultural background:)

I will pm you anyway and see what you think :)

[Pixie]

I haven't even had my baby yet and I get worried!

I think you are a great mum and she is a darn cute baby :D

I agree find out more about where her daddy is from and you can perhaps find some story books about that part of the world that will help her learn...I know of a bookshop in the city that has books for kids and their heritage it's called Abbeys bookshop and they have heaps of books for kids I will probably get some when Eliza is older to help her learn about Daddy who is Turkish :D not that he can't teach her himself but ya know I can learn too!

[nemosmum]

Hey Adelaide Mandy :) If you take a look at my avatar pic you will see Orlando holding the Aboriginal flag with pride :D

Dh is Aboriginal and so is O of course:p hehehehehe

I think its great to teach kids as much about their family history as possible especially as its Australia's history!

If you want to chat any time just pm me, another member on BH (Kamaikia) also has a son whos dad is Indigenious so you might like to chat with her also :)

And BTW your bub is due on my b'day, lucky you!!!!

Sarah

[nemosmum]

thanks :) :D :p

[tyler's mum]

thanks for every ones great advice,,, i'm already starting to feel a little better about it:)

[jodie_26]

my daughter is also half aboriginal (from my side) and half slovengian (her fathers) he is also not in the picture and i had the same concerns about how to teach my daughter her heriatage,,,,but i managed with some great books from the libary and found that explaining to them gets easier with age

[tyler's mum]

tyler is almost 6months so i guess i have a few years before she starts asking questions about her dad,,, i guess you can't help but worried no matter what it is that your doin the right thing's when it comes to your kids