Sad single mumma of 3

[LusciousMum23]

Hi , Today Iam officially a single mum.

I have been reading this thread over the past couple of months when things really went down-hill with xDH , you are all so supportive & lovely.
Looking foreard to making some friends who know how I actually feel and have/are experiencing all of this themselves.

I go to see Centrelink this week and will be contacting CSA today.

Can't believe my marriage is ending. How did you break the news to family & friends who have had no idea there were problems?
How did you cope with sad kids?

Thankyou :hugs:

[BeautifulBoys]

Im so sorry to hear that...
I wish you all the very best..remember you are STRONG & you will overcome any hurdles that come your way.. you have 3 beautiful children..
Good Luck

[hayleysmummy]

Sorry darl I have no real advice because I was never married to the ex, my family knew there were probs and DD was only 3 days old when I left but I'm sure someone has been through the same thing as you just wanted to give you some :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: and welcome you to the single mummies section xx

[SweetAngels]

I'm sad too, I broke up with xDP this weekend, I have 3 babies too, DD5yo not his and our 2 boys age 3&1, we have had problems for a whole year now and nothing is better so I ened it with him.

I'm going thru those 'am I sure it was over', 'did I really try as hard as I could?' thoughts (there's lots more and i'm sure your thinking them too)

Its hard breaking up when there are kids involved and I feel bad. I don't have to worry bout breaking the news tho bc evry1 already knew we were having prob's. I'm sure once you have told evry1 and explained in full the whys and because's they'll be there to support you.

Its weird isn't it, its an empty feeling, i've never had a break up like this and i'm hoping that this feeling doesn't last too long cause i have 3 kids who need me. And I hope you find happiness with this decision really soon too. Hugz

[OneBabyBoy]

hey babycakes
It is a really tough time.
It's great that you are contacting c/link and CSA straight away. Also if you think that your ex might get nasty it would be worthwhile researching a good family law solicitor in your area.
Noone at all knew that my ex and I were having problems (exept my brother who lived with us). I am one to keep all my problems and sadness to myself. So yeah it was a real shock to everyone. It was even a shock to me because I didn't think he would actually leave.The advice I have regarding that is to tell one person in your family who is a bit of a gossip and then they tell nearly everyone else for you! The other friends and people I don't see that often I emailed the news. Much easier than actually saying it. But there are still people I had to actually say it to. You'll find that with each person you tell it will get easier and easier.
If you are like me and keep your probs to yourself IRL then you might like to wait a couple of weeks or so before telling everyone. Just so you then have a bit of time to sort your own head out first and get a bit grounded about it before you have to tell people.
The other thing is that people will say "omg what happened?" and actually expect you to go into detail, so have your answers ready. I would just tell people "It's a long story really, but I mean it's sad but I'm ok" (even though I wasn't really).
I was preg at the time so I didn't have the stress of breaking the news to kids but I know some people here have so hopefully they can help with that part.
That's just what I did, you might be a different kind of person alltogether but I hope it helps. :hugs: :hugs:

[Mummaof2]

Hi babycakes,

I separated from my exDh after being together for 4.5yrs (married for nearly 2 of those years) and I found so much support and advice from fellow bubhubbers. If it wasnt for the support I received from BH I wouldnt have had the strength to kick him out.

Feel free to PM me anytime if you want to chat.

[LusciousMum23]

Thanks for the welcome.
Today has been a horrid day, just hoping it gets a little easier .
I feel like i have so much to deal with while xDH is just coasting along as usual. So frustrating.

I contacted & made arrangements with Centrelink.
The lady I spoke to was lovely but a hard phoncall to make.

XDH & I have been together for 13 years.
I wish he'd want councelling as our prob were workable. Although I love my kids it feels like I have wasted half my life.
If I didn't still deeply love him I'm sure this wouldn't be so hard.

Thanks for the kind words & understanding.

xxoo

[OneBabyBoy]

You're right babycakes, it wouldn't be so hard if you didn't still love him :hugs: :hugs:
You will probably also feel really lonely especially after so long together and you'll miss him lots. Try everything you can to not call/message/email him because this will help you heal alot faster (trust me). I had my ex's number stored in my phone under "Don't call this number".
Even with his unwillingness to go to councelling you can just go by yourself if you feel like it will help you to have someone impartial to talk to.
Look after yourself, have an early night and hopefully things will look better tomorrow :hugs:

[tyler's mum]

Sorry your having a hard time:hugs: :hugs: We are here to listen or talk.

Take care of your self and your little ones:hugs:

[Mum2Bug]

Alli :hugs: :hugs:

I am so sorry to hear that it has finally come to saying it is over. I had hoped it wouldnt reach this stage for you. Im not going to repeat what everyone else has said, although I do agree with them all in their advice.

Take it one day at a time. You have done the hard part, admitting it is over. That is the first step in the painful and yet somewhat healing journey you are about to start on. We have all been there and understand so feel free to lean on us, cry on our shoulders and ask for hugs and our support. We are all willing to help you through this hard time.

Feel free to pm me if you would like someone to talk to that isnt involved in your situation, as sometimes it is easier to talk to a stranger.

Take care hun. We are here for you.:hugs:

[Mamalicious]

:hugs: I'm sorry you're going through this.

I hope things start feeling easier soon.

[Issey]

i cant give any advice on breaking it to family as they knew we had problems. The only thing I have found is it would have been better to give LITTLE information rather than the whole story, i have a sister that drives me a bit crazy at times with going on about the details :ecomcity: :ecomcity: , so if there was ever a reconcilation i would never hear the end of it iykwim.

I love my ex DH too, but I had to draw the line for my own emotional wellbeing. We were together 10 years.

It is not easy at first, I found Bub hub to be so supportive, I hope you do too. We are here to talk anytime you need to.

[LusciousMum23]

Hi :wave: Just a big thankyou for the welcome.
I'll be here more often (to post not just read) as the computer is now my very own :yelclap:.

Things are still tough. Trying to get money etc sorted out. Trying not to get too far ahead of myself but I'm trying to get a "game plan" together for the future.
XDH told me to only think of "now" but I think that is wrong..................you can't live for the day when you have kids to think of as well.

Most of friends know now about the break-up, plus some family members & they have all been wonderful. Just have to let my pride not get in the way & ask for help if I need it.

Thanx again. Talk soon :hugs: