Breastfeeding and drinking alcohol

[clairbear]

I have recently seen something which has really upset me. My husband (and two year old) and I live above a pub,as my husband is the licensee.
We have just had chairs and tables put outside on the footpath for the smokers, and just recently a couple and their newborn baby have been sitting there on most days. I couldn't help having a peek at the bubba the other day and a little chat to the parents, but since then have been feeling very worried about this gorgeous 8 day old baby girl whose mother is drinking wine, tequila shots and god knows what else and then breast feeding her. Not to mention all the cigarette smoke she is breathing in.
My conscience will not let me ignore it. I feel someone has to stick up for this defenceless baby, but don't want to go about it the wrong way and make the mother /parents angry and dig their heels in. My husband feels the same, and says he is waiting for the right opportunity to have a word but is also unsure how to go about it.
Or do I just listen to the angry voice inside me and call docs??
Would appreciate any advice/ideas....................ta:confused:

[Imogensmum]

I'd call docs- as a drunk mum isn't able to care for her bub properly - not to mention the fact that the bub is getting that alcohol content and if she is there constantly she obviously has a problem!:mad:

It would constitute child abuse so i would be reporting it!

[cobysmummy]

oh that poor baby things like that make me sad... the baby is so defensless... and can you imagine what kind of home it will grow up in... especially if they are alcoholic parents...

something needs to be done sooner rather than later so i agree with calling docs...

[M O P]

Wow- in this situation bottle feeding would surely outweigh any benefits of breast feeding!! So many women try so hard to breast feed and here's someone who shouldn't be and of course it comes so easy!!

Maybe you could contact D.O.C.S. and ask what you can or should do.

[Ana Gram]

I wouldn't call DOCs personally as there are alot worse things that are getting overlooked in child welfare because they constantly seem to be checking out and taking away children for minor offences.

If you have the licence for the pub simply tell her that alcohol is not permitted around children. And if you don't have that as a rule, maybe you should.

[Mummaof2]

I wouldn't call DOCs personally as there are alot worse things that are getting overlooked in child welfare because they constantly seem to be checking out and taking away children for minor offences.

If you have the licence for the pub simply tell her that alcohol is not permitted around children. And if you don't have that as a rule, maybe you should.

Any abuse against a child is an offence no matter how small or big.

Clairbear and her husband could put a sign up saying alcohol is not permitted around children but then they could lose patrons who go there for a family outing and also its not going to stop this mother going to another pub or bottle shop to get her alcohol fix and then brestfeed the baby.

Clairbear if your gut instinct is telling you to ring DOCS then i would. If you are worried about these parents finding out it was you & your husband that reported them you can ring up anonymously as I have done.

[Ana Gram]

I simply can't agree with you. People ring Docs at the drop of a hat these days for the littlest things. I have been threatened with Docs before for the simple reason that I dressed my child in black. It sounds ridiculous doesn't it.

Is drinking alcohol and breastfeeding illegal? And what legal powers do Docs have in this situation? Is it going to get to the point where pregnant mothers will be arrested for having a drink?

I have also never understood how going to a pub can be a family outing. It's a pub, it's primary function is to serve alcohol, how is this a fun family night out?

[Mummaof2]

Ok being reported for what you dress your child in is going a bit far.

No, breastfeeding & drinking isnt illegal but as clairbear said this baby is only 8weeks old and the mother is drinking wine and tequila shots that she knows of. Now i know how that i feel a little tipsy just after a glass of wine, which i only have on special occasions, so i can only imagine what kind of state this mother would be in after drinking wine and downing a few tequila shots. And what we eat & drink is basically what a breastfed baby is eating & drinking.

DOCS is not only there to take children out of abusive families but also to help families get on top of situations that could turn into an abusive situation, whether it be child abuse or alcohol/drug abuse which will lead to child abuse. And I feel that this mother may need help or someone to talk to if she is drinking alcohol like that after having a baby only 8 weeks ago.

[Odessa]

I think as the licensee, your husband or the manager of the hotel should have a word to this couple about drinking with the baby there, mention that it's unhealthy etc. If it's an area of the pub where they shouldn't have children and babies, they need to be moved on. But you cannot force your morals and values onto someone else. They're not breaking the law and they're paying customers.

If something happens on premises, it's ultimately the licensee's responsibility. He needs to ensure that nothing that breaches any laws and codes surrounding the license happens, just ringing DOCS and dobbing them in isn't going to do anything but move them on to another pub.

We can't go around like the moral police, ringing child services every time we see behaviour from others that we don't approve of. If she was dangling the child from a balcony or driving around with the baby on her lap, sure, even I'd ring DoCS. But disapproving of someone else's lifestyle choice is not a valid reason to report them.

[Odessa]

I have been threatened with Docs before for the simple reason that I dressed my child in black. It sounds ridiculous doesn't it.


Remember Azaria? Everyone was convinced Lindy did it because she dressed her baby in black :rolleyes:

[caitsmum]

Have you thought of keeping some documentation of your own on how often the couple are there, how much she is drinking ect... Does the pub have close circut TV? Then you would have something to back up your claims. This is of course you decide DOCS is the way you want to preceed.


If you have a local child health centre that runs mothers mornings you may be able to direct her towards that. If you could let her know of some of the other options around for day time entertainment for a mum with a young baby in the area it may get her out of your hair. But saying that she may not be the type of person that wants to do anything else than sit at a pub all day. Maybe discussing the matter with your GP or childhealth nurse may also be an option as they then have a legal obligation to report it if they find the child is in danger.

Go with you gut instincts, good luck.

[thirdtimeround]

This is a tricky situation and it really depends on what you would do in this situation from your heart. Everyone deals with events and situations differently. I dont agree with anyone taking their kids to the pub unless its to have dinner in a seperate area. I have had one glass of wine while I have been bf and only after I have settled the baby for a sleep.( I will duck for cover now):eek: But drinking shots and continuously is not on. I agree with chellegoth that docs are used in lots of circumstances when they shouldnt be and I have witnessed lots of circumstances where they should have been involved and werent. I would also agree with dark star that we cant take the moral high ground and need to see a bigger picture. I think getting the licensee to ask them to leave on what ever grounds is purely up to the licensee isnt it? And if this situation makes you uncomfortable then I would diffenately do something about it.
Good luck with this

[clairbear]

Thanks to all of you for taking the time to reply and offer your opinions.
I can also see that each of you has a point.
As an early childhood teacher I have witnessed many docs stuff ups over the years, and am not confident they would do anything to help the situation unfortunately.
I also see that breastfeeding a baby whilst drinking heavily is more serious than merely a "lifestyle choice" when inflicted upon a defenceless 8 day old baby.
I also feel that anything my husband or I say will make us seem like the "moral police" to this couple. At the pub we do have a lovely non smoking cafe bar, that several people with young children come to and have a bistro meal or a Friday night drink and snacks (we have a sign stating that young children aren't permitted after 8pm). These are regular people who enjoy alcohol responsibly and include it in occasional family socialising , as many cultures have done for ages.
The advice about talking to a baby health nurse was good, and ultimately I guess if I care then I should try to approach this mum in an open and sensitive manner, and run the risk of making things worse.
As everyone does I have enough on my plate (expecting a baby in 2 wks just to name one thing) without worrying about this but it is still plaguing me and i am more confused than ever.
Just venting I guess.......and as I type this sweet little treasure is probably off her face.................

[Odessa]

As the licensee, you can refuse service to anyone, on any grounds. You can refuse to serve her or anyone with her, if you disapprove of her drinking while breastfeeding her child.

Telling this woman to not breastfeed while drinking or smoking around the baby is going to do one thing: cause an argument. By continuing to serve her alcohol, you are enabling her. Speak to some professionals if you really want to help her, but I suggest cutting off the source.

[nemosmum]

I simply can't agree with you. People ring Docs at the drop of a hat these days for the littlest things. I have been threatened with Docs before for the simple reason that I dressed my child in black. It sounds ridiculous doesn't it.
Is drinking alcohol and breastfeeding illegal? And what legal powers do Docs have in this situation? Is it going to get to the point where pregnant mothers will be arrested for having a drink?

I have also never understood how going to a pub can be a family outing. It's a pub, it's primary function is to serve alcohol, how is this a fun family night out?


OMG Orlando has lots of black t shirts, I mean they are great as they dont show up the dirt LOL and you know how messy a toddler gets :D

I am shocked that some one would say that simply be coz you choose to dress your little one in a black outfit!!!

[Chickadee]

I like the idea of cutting her off, but I suspect that just would simply cause them to move down the street to another bar. Takes the issue off your doorstep but doesn't help the bub in the long term.

You could always try approaching her as an expectant mother, and not as the pub landlord. Just start a conversation that it's lovely to see a breastfeeding mother, you're due yourself soon and hope to bf, etc... and then raise the issue of alcohol. Tell her you've been reading some information about alcohol passing into breastmilk and are a bit confused about how much alcohol is safe, that you were wondering what she knew about it. I admit I'm trying to give this woman the benefit of the doubt, that she may simply not know.

If you don't want to go that route you could just ask if she's seen the CHN, what does she think of her, and other new mummy topics to work around to why she's spending her days at the pub and whether she knows what resources are out there.

[caitsmum]

clairbear,

I really, really feel for you being in such a moral delemia. I wish I had a quick and easy solution for you - which there isn't. I have been thinking about your situation over the last few days and I hope that you are able to come to some resoultion soon, especially with a new baby on they way. Vent away - you need it.

Therese