Routine at 3 months?

[Lilyloo]

Hi everyone,

I visited a consultant yesterday for various reasons, and she was horrified that I didn't have my DD in a rountine yet. By this she meant, feeding at certain times, waiting 4 hours before another feed, 1.5 hours awake time, and set sleep times.

I'm worried cause at the moment, we're all over the place. DD feeds whenever I think she's hungry, this may only be 10 minutes here and there, and she sleeps whenever she sleeps. Sometimes she's awake most of the day!

Should I be trying to get into a routine by 3 months? Will it make things harder down the track if I don't start getting into one now?

She suggested I spend a night at the Dalwood home (tricillian?) to get some help!!:(

When did you start falling into a routine??

[Purplebird]

Hi :wave:

We still don't have a set routine now and DD is early 7 months! At 3 months you really, really don't need a routine IMO. It sounds like you're breastfeeding on demand in which case this 'consultant's' advice is completely incorrect. You can introduce a routine any time you like if that's what you want to do.

Just carry on doing what you're doing and don't doubt yourself :hugs:

[twitch]

DD is 4 months and has a very very flexible routine. I demand feed as well and it is almost impossible to have a set routine with that. I think it's waaaay over the top to suggest you go to the Dalwood home at 3 months, that's just crazy cos even if you were in a routine, babies change what they want to do all the time. One day they'll feed play sleep, the next feed play feed sleep and 3 months I reckon is way too early to start enforcing what they're "supposed" to be doing. I don't reckon you'll have any probs down the track cos bubs sounds happy feeding, playing and sleeping whenever she wants.

[ikis84]

Pffft to her. 4 hourly feeding schedules are a recipe for milk drying up (esp. at 3 months old).
By feeding your baby on demand, you sound like you are giving her what she needs :yes:

My baby fell into her own 'routine' at around 4-5 months, but before that, and still, I follow her cues as to what needs. For me, trying to force a routine onto her would create more stress. Go with the flow is my motto.

[Lilyloo]

Thanks so much guys.. That's really reassuring! And yes, baby and I are both happy doing what we're doing at the moment, I think with the lack of sleep too, it would all be to hard to start trying to get into a rountine at the moment.

[Hollywood]

I'd just like to add that at 7 months we don't have a set routine either with DS. He is breastfed when he wants it, and sleeps when he needs it. As it turns out, we have fallen into a natural pattern, but I never forced it and some days DS doesn't follow that natural routine. The only guaranteed thing is that he will have a couple of sleeps throughout the day (nearly always mid morning, and one or two naps in the afternoon), and they will usually last from 45 minutes to 2.5 hours. And we know now that he will get tired again after he has been awake for 2 to 3 hours after naps.

Some days he sleeps a lot during the day (like 3-4 hours total) and other days he barely sleeps at all (like yesterday he had 2 half hour naps :eek:) but even on those days he is happy and content, he obviously just didn't need so much sleep.

So that's our life at the moment, hope it offers some reassurance. Breastfed babies digest the milk quickly, so sometimes they will be hungry sooner. Our DS can go 4 hours between a feed, but usually that's just when I'm out and about and he obviously just doesn't think about it too much. When we're just at home he feeds about every 1.5 to 3 hours roughly.

[Cordelia]

we didn't go on a semi-routine until she was 6/7 months and before then we both loved the flexibility. I think babies kind of eventually get themselves on a routine anyway naturally so I wouldn't worry about it. So long as you're both happy!

[mum2bubba]

If you WANT to get your daughter into a routine by all means do, but you don't HAVE to. I have my kids in a routine (though its not set in stone) coz its easier for us but some people are fine without their kids being in a routine. You don't have to do everything 'by the book' or just because the 'professionals' recommended it, you gotta do what works for you and your family. Both my kids sort for made their routine anyway and I just followed their lead.

[abibelsmum]

My 4.5 month old doesn't have a routine. I feed her when she is hungry and put her down to sleep when she is tired.

Since I have a preschooler who has to be taken to and from preschool at a certain time, the baby just has to come along, regardless of what part of her own cycle she is in. The baby is a very happy, contented baby. So if you don't want a routine, you don't have to have one.

[DoulaFelicity]

The healthiest way for an adult to live is, put very simply, to eat (healthily) when we're hungry and sleep (for as long as we feel we need to, if we're lucky enough to be able to! :laughing: ) when we're tired. A baby's needs are no different. Your baby will let you know when she is hungry and when she is tired and all you need to do is try to meet her needs as best you can within that framework - which sounds like exactly what you're doing! :thumbsup:

At 3 months old, your baby is changing at a remarkably rapid pace and her behaviour (and needs) will reflect that. All you need to do is ride it out as best you can and go with the flow. Whatever your baby does is her routine, unique and individual to her. It sounds to me like you're doing a magnificent job - tell the consultant to bug off. ;)

[mum_inlove]

I never really tried to set a routine when Lloyd was 3 months old, I found somehow he just set his own routine..He was the one who decide to feed every 4 hours, had 3 sleeps during the day, etc. We are in a very good routine now, but we still have days where the routine change..So it's always changing basically..And I don't know why she suggested to you to go to the Dalwood homes just to set a routine..

[peta1410]

babies change what they want to do all the time. One day they'll feed play sleep, the next feed play feed sleep and 3 months I reckon is way too early to start enforcing what they're "supposed" to be doing. I don't reckon you'll have any probs down the track cos bubs sounds happy feeding, playing and sleeping whenever she wants.


Totally Agree. My bub is 4 months old and bottle fed 4 hourly...however that is not set in stone. Some feeds he wants it an hour earlier and I'm not going to deny him his bottle if I know he's hungry just because it's not part of our "routine". Even when you have a routine in place you still need to be flexible IMO because kids and especially babies can be so unpredictable some days. Do whatever works for you and don't worry about the "rules" I say.

[Jodestar21]

Im with everyone else on this one..Fraser is 8 months old and still no routine..although we have a rough one (that he has made for himself), but life always gets in the way, so we go with the flow and he never seems to have a problem with that. Besides, as the others have said it changes all the time, as they grow or have growth spurts etc.

Sounds to me like your doing a great job and by following the lead of your bub, i believe, only serves to reinforce the high level of communication the two of you have. She knows you understand her needs and respond to them, building trust and security. Dont let anyone else interfere with that bond...only you know what is best for your baby. Well done to you i say!!

[Kangaskippy]

Thanks so much guys.. That's really reassuring! And yes, baby and I are both happy doing what we're doing at the moment, I think with the lack of sleep too, it would all be to hard to start trying to get into a rountine at the moment.

I demand fed Jack and let him pretty much sleep when he decided to...and he has managed to pretty much get into his own routine, still B'feeds every 3 - 4 hours..(some days less, some more, and also 3 solid meals a day) and sleeps from 1hr a day up to 3hours...night times he lets us know when he wants a bath, then straight after that now he has a feed and off to bed...but we are still up from 2 - 4 times a night and he is 1 next week...but he is a very happy baby and obviously doesn't need as much sleep as i thought babies required...it's me that needs more sleep..:laughing:

you sound like you are both happy and healthy, so I would just let nature take it's course personally...however it is up to you in the end..

[Lilyloo]

Thanks so much for all your encouraging words. i feel so much better. She (the consultant) made me feel as though I was doing a terrible job by not having a routine yet. But you've all reassured me that I'm doing the right thing.

As long a baby is happy, and she is, then i'm happy too!!!

[MoOaNdLiTtLePoPpEt]

i agree, by all means if you are happy and she is happy then that's fine.

Some childen love routine others don'...as with parents. Go with what you are doing, as you seem to be doing the right thing by you and your bub...it works for you...so don't mess with it.
Thats my opinion anyway.

In saying that my DS has been in a rotuine since day dot...as in when BF he would feed every 3 hrs....awake for 1.5 hrs initially...etc etc. as time went on this changed.

Now he feeds 3 x a day, morning, midday ish and before bed, with 3 solid meals. he has a morning and afternoon nap most days with a 3-4 hr awake period....in saying that, his routine is Flexible...some days he might have 3 naps cos he is more tired etc etc....

so just go with what works for you and your bub.....:thumbsup: