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sam's mum
06-09-2007, 19:47
hi,

not sure how helpful this will be, but I thought that I would give a perspective of what it is like for me as someone with Asperger's. the idea came after someone (sorry can't remember who) asked for help for their niece. I figure (I hope) that I can articulate things better than I could as a kid, so I can probably do better than your kids.

One thing I would say is that each ASD kid will not necessarily be set off by the same things, so all I can say is how things affected me, and how I felt about things.

Hope it helps. :o

I don't like my food to touch each other. My mum learnt this fairly early on, and this is true of my ASD DD also. I have grown out of this, but as a kid - food shouldn't touch.

If I am upset, I want to be by myself. Preferably in a closet. somewhere dark, quiet and alone, with a wall at my back. I don't want to talk, I don't want to be held. I want the world to GO AWAY.

When I feel better, I don't want to talk about it. In fact, a lot of the time I don't even remember what happened. This drives DH NUTS. He will still be upset, I will have totally forgotten about whatever caused the upset in the first place. It also drove my mother nuts. She always thought I was lying. I used to say, it must have been the other girl. I wasn't lying, I truly didn't remember whatever had happened.

If you get it wrong, I will keep explaining or persisting until you get it right. this may be something really really picky. don't say it is brown if it is black. Surely you know that you are wrong! (I have gotten much better at this on the outside now that I am older, I still have issues on the inside though :o )

Don't lie to me. I was devastated when I found out the Santa and the Easter Bunny weren't real and that my parents had been lying to me. I still haven't totally recovered from this emotionally, even though I realise intellectually why they did it. I still find myself questioning the things that they tell me.

No matter how much Mum tries (and she owned a dress shop for many years, so believe me she tried) I won't wear clothes/shoes that mix up different colours. Brown top, black pants sure. I will even wear a red top with blue jeans. But not a whole heap all at once.

The phone. this one is interesting. At work, I can call anyone no problems. At home, I call my mum, my sister, DH and DD. That's it. I hate talking to people on the phone. If they call me and I know them, that is fine. I couldn't even call my Granny (when she was alive that is), and I loved her to bits. Phones and me just don't work.

Ummm, I can't really think of anything else at the moment, and this thread is pretty darn big already. If I think of anything else, I will add it in.

Neo might be able to add stuff too if she sees the thread.

Can I?
10-09-2007, 13:22
Thanks Jane!! It's so comforting to read some of that and to know that it's normal (normal....not neurotypical if you get my distinction). I get upset when I see my little guy upset and he doesn't want me to hold him until he is better. It is such an instinctive thing for a mum to do you know? I know in my brain that he just wants some time for himself, but my heart hurts for him and I want to make him better.

I really try not to lie to my DS, but we have told him the santa, easter bunny myth also. I will have to work out a way to tell him gently some time over the next few years. Our society is such that it is hard to escape such knowledge - Santa is everywhere!!

tooshypanda
17-09-2007, 12:58
You have described my husband to a tee... he has ASD/Aspergers and displays many similar idocyncrasys..

I am fascinated by it all and have been reading quite a bit about it. I have been told there is no way to know if it is genetic or not - which can be a worry when it comes to us have kids.

mum2peanut
24-09-2007, 22:42
Thanks Jane, that was really interesting to read. It was me who asked about my niece. And that really gives insight into how the smallest things can affect someone.
Thanks

sisimummy
12-04-2010, 13:22
hi i have been trying to find a forum like this everywhere! my daughter is 2.5 nearly 3 & has asd. i am 19 & have two younger brothers who both have asd. it runs in my family but only with the boys but at an early age i picked up certain things my daughter did like toe tipping around, talking to herself alot, hates wearing her hair up or having it touched. i must be with her at all times unless she is upset then i have to be far away from her. she absolutely hates changes. her father & i broke up 8 months ago & its still affecting her. she went from being off the dummy to know wanting it all the time for comfort. most of my friends think shes completely out of control when it comes to behaviour. but most people havent grown up with asd family members so i know to have alot of patience with her. has anyone been put on medication for this as i really dont want to but no day care can "control" her. as she's quite nasty. tells kids their ugly & need make up & YES she's only 2.5yrs old! i have put her on a diet for her behaviour & fish oil tablets i have seen little improvement. i just need some more answers

MummaBear03
12-04-2010, 14:28
I haven't used medication for my daughter, but she also went to a childcare centre where the Preschool room teacher used to be a school teacher and had lots of experience with ASD kids, as well as having a son with ASD who is now an adult himself so she knew what to do and how to handle her. It's all about what words to use to explain things. And not giving too many instructions at once. So having her at that centre was a blessing for that reason along with many others.

What you've described about your 2.5 year old is exactly how my cousin's ASD son used to be. He's now 15, still has trouble with saying things that are not socially acceptable, but is much better now than he used to be. For instance if someone asks how they look he will tell that person if they have messy hair, or if th new hair style looks good or terrible (even to the point of saying "That's disgusting, what a waste of money" lol) and if the clothes they've chosen to wear look ok or not. But he no longer walks up to complete strangers in the street and tells them they have to put something else on like the time he said to a woman in Coles to get those clothes off, they're way to small and she's way too fat to wear that kind of thing :o and he was with ME at the time! I tried to say he's autistic but it never got me anywhere.

DD is like this to an extent but not quite the same. She's very big on social justices and looking after the environment and if she sees injustices happen she will step up and yell and scream at people about it. She will tell someone off for flicking cigarette butts in a garden, she'll tell them they are destroying the planet by smoking and by flicking it into the garden they are destroying habitats and they are causing a fire hazard. I'm just lucky she hasn't really told people anything about their physical appearance except once in K Mart. This woman was in there looking at things on the bottom shelf. I was looking at board games and heard DD say "Excuse me, but you need to pull your pants up because everyone can see your bottom and it's not a very nice look" she was in a g-string and hipster jeans :laughing:

I apologise to the person if they are a member on here, she was only 3 at the time and I still feel bad about it but never did apologise to her, she got up and took off and I was too embarassed and upset to say anything. So here's my apology on behalf of my ASD child.

MimiGrace
12-04-2010, 14:34
i just wanted to say thanks for posting that. i haven't been formally diagnosed - but most of that definitely describes me :yes: (except for the part about clothes)

Bel1978
14-04-2010, 06:47
Thanx for that I have 2 ASD kids.....