baby doll for my DS

[Littletreasures]

mods please move in in wrong spot..

ok before i start i just want to say that i don't mean to offend anyone in any way and i hope that this thread stays on track..

with the arrival of our second baby due any day now i thought that it would be nice if DS could have his very own baby. Cause i wont be able to pay as much attention to him as what i do now and i thought that when im giving the baby attention that he could be doing the same to his baby.. So i went out today and brought him a little baby boy doll.. DS loves this doll and was very excited when i gave it to him he knew how to feed it and he even named him Jo....

Anyway i will get to the point...

DH got home and he hit the roof because i had brought DS a doll and he thinks that im trying to turn our son Gay.. I tried explaining to him that that was not my intention and the reason i brought it was to make DS feel more involved..

Now i never thought that i would hear anything like this come out of DH mouth seen as though he has a gay brother... And he normally has an open attitude/mind towards these things..

But he has got it set in his head that by DS playing with dolls that he will turn gay and that our little girl will not be allowed to play with cars or trucks cause they are boys toys and she will turn in to a tom boy/ lesbian..

I know that this is not true and all the rest but i need some way of trying to convince my DH that our children are not going to be gay just because they are playing with Dolls/ cars and trucks..

i tried telling him that i played with cars and trucks and im not and that all the boys that i know played with dolls and other "girl Stuff" but he reckons that im different :ecomcity: .

anyways im sorry that its long but i need to know how to convince DH that its ok for boys to play with girls toys and vice versa...

[hayleysmummy]

How inconciderate of your DH I think its a great idea to have DS more involved buying him his own baby is a great idea I know a friends 2.6 year old has a Dora doll that he sleeps with every night there is nothing wrong with that and I think a baby of your DS own will help him adapt to the changes of having a new brother or sister
I just hope you bought him a boy dolly :laughing: just kidding I think its really cute even if others dont agree

[punkbaby]

There is nothing wrong with buying him a doll! Blaze had one when i had dd, then from 2 - 3 he was fascinated with handbags and letting dd put make up on him LOL but now his all boy through and through it didnt hurt him! Kids are kids they dont know any different at that age.

I would chat to your hubby again explain that it wont hurt him at all no different to girls playing with cars or boys toys.

I hope he does see your side though

[Issey]

I hope you don't think I am rude in saying that your DH is very narrowminded and wrong, to assume traditional "gender specific toys" can change ones feelings. Why would you deny your DS to have his own little baby to look after.
I think it is a lovely idea :idea: for your DS to make him feel involved.

it is the most ridiculous thing i have heard that playing with a doll will make DS gay :laughing:. You would think having a brother who is gay would give him a bit more insight wouldn't you.

[Littletreasures]

it is the most ridiculous thing i have heard that playing with a doll will make DS gay :laughing:. You would think having a brother who is gay would give him a bit more insight wouldn't you.


thats what i thought.... I don't see the problem with it and i need DH to understand..

[Pixie]

First off great idea I have had dolls in the house since Eliza was 9 months and pretended to breastfeed them and carry them around and tell her shhh baby nigh nigh and now she does the same, when she has a playmate over she's happy for me to give them cuddles or give them drinks in their sippy cups she is great at sharing as well. So far it's paid off!

I have a similar problem my DD loves trucks/trains/areoplane you name it lol I just bought her a huge tuff truck DH said "she's a girl get her barbie lol" but hey she likes it and he said fine as long as she's happy.

Tell DH if you gave him an action man it's still a dolly but bet he had them as a kid!

[Roopee]

Just provide your Dh with the facts.

That one is "born" gay.

You can not "turn" anyone gay. There is a major genetic reason behind it and not a great deal you can do about it- he either will be or he wont be.

Toys are toys- there shouldn't be any female or male toys- kids dont see it like we do. A toy is a toy to them.

I bought my DS1 a doll when i was pregnant with DS2- it had a bath, a bottle, a nappy and all the little extras. Whilst i was feeding my baby he would be feeding his- we would bath our babies together etc etc.

Tell your Dh, if is any consolation, it wont last long- the doll will probably be left in a pile right along side the Hot Wheels and Tonka Trucks, the novelty wears off pretty quick and even if it doesnt who cares?

Tell your Dh to think about it like this- dont think of it as a doll, think of it as a tool to assist your DS's adjustment to having a new baby i the house- explain that its for his benefit and emotional security. Pull on the heart strings- that oughta do it:thumbsup:

[abibelsmum]

I'd love to know what your DH would therefore think if he saw my DD1 lift up her top to BF her toy dog!

A friend gave her son a doll to look after to get him used to his prospective sibling. I thought it was a great idea. And I've watched DD1 (3) and another boy (also 3) playing houses at creche and they argue about whether to put the baby to bed or take it for a walk like a married couple. It is really funny to watch.

[Missy75]

Perhaps your DH saw his brother playing with "girls toys" growing up and associates that with him being gay. He's not the first person to think that way. I'd let him know that his attitude is more harmful to your children's personalities than a doll or a truck. I'd also bring it up next time BIL visits so that he can help your husband understand that his sexuality has nothing to do with his upbringing.

[RoarsomeMum]

Kids dont sexualize.. The dont understand "gender Specific" If your lil boy likes the doll and your not "forcing" him to play with it, then GO FOR IT!Did you have trucks or anything as a kid? Remind him if you did and highlight the fact that you did not "turn" I certainly did and have no sexual feeling towards women! (thou, would make it easier if I did somedays! LOL)

[perthmum2007]

Ds had a doll when he was younger around 2 dont think he played with it much though. DD got dolls the other day as a present and he was quite happy to take one to bed with him the day she got them but now hes hardly intrested.

sorry I cant give u any advice, but i deff dont think it will turn him gay

[UmmInayah]

My nephew used to have a doll of his own. He used to pretend to breastfeed it and everything. I doubt very much that is going to turn him gay.

Also, while working in childcare there was a little boy who used to go into the home corner every day he was there, and put on a tutu and walk around in it all day.

I don't believe there is such a thing as "gender specific" toys.

[Tabby]

Not so much a doll but ds2 had a stroller with a teddy and did the same things one would for a baby. Hes 16 now and definitely not gay.
As someone else mentioned it can go the other way too.. I was very much a tomboy and preferred to climb trees and play cars and it didn't "make" me gay either.
Hope you can convince DH as imo there is absolutely nothing wrong with it and didn't do my son any harm
Good luck

[reAllytee]

Boof has a 'baby' that he carries around quite a lot & we often get weird looks when out but i dont care.

I did what you have done in that being pregnant i wanted to prepare him for bubs arrival so this helped sooo much it wasnt funny ! He now looks after his baby while im dealing with Squeak ( not always of course but i get him to go get it when he starts causing trouble ). He breastfeeds, changes nappies etc.

Its a shame your DH views it this way, i guess i was lucky in that DP doesnt care one way or another but i would suggest having a good chat with him about it & explaining thoroughly why its a good idea & wont make him gay. Kids dont see things like that at all & he needs to learn this.

[M~T~J~M]

I bought both DS1 and DS2 a baby doll, and a pram each a couple of months before DS3 was born.
I'm so glad I did too. They loved their babies. They really loved looking after them, pushing them around, changing their nappy, etc. They aren't too interested in them now, but they have the real thing, lol!

[melbryan]

I did the exact same thing for my Ds1 when my Ds2 came a yr ago I brought him a pram and a boy baby as we were having another boy. DH has his reservations but really doesn't have a problem with it. I think it's a man's attitude towards gays that they will impart on their son's if they aren't careful. I will be doing my darndest to teach my boys ( I will have 3 soon) that it's OK to be gay and people who are gay are no different than anyone else. You are doing the right thing by exposing your children to a variety of scenarios/ experiences, then they will ultimately make their own decision later in life. I don't think my son understands what a doll is he thinks it's just like any other toy and his pram is like a really fast car he can push that holds his cars. We also have cars in the bath whiich they wash and brush teeth, dolls are so great for any child be it boy or girl.