You know you grew up in Darwin when.......

[littleboyblue]

You know you grew up in Darwin when...

• Going to the city was **** but going to Casuarina was cool.

• Driving from your house to the beach only took 10-15 mins.

• Except if you lived in Palmerston then this took you nearly an hour.

• If you lived in Humpty Doo, then you REALLY lived in the sticks, people made fun of you because you had to catch those white buses.

• And you lived in Humpty Doo. Ha, ha.

• You think Darwin is cooler than Katherine and Alice Springs and WAY better than Tennant Creek, which is a tidy town hole.

• You’ve gone to the Crocodile Farm maybe once and that was on a school excursion in primary school.

• If you left Darwin, people you meet look at you funny and make fun of you and say in an incredulous tone “You come from Darwin!?”

• They also ask if you had crocodiles in your backyard or tell you, “You never, never know, if you never never go.” So lame.

• And they also ask if you’ve read a children’s book set in Darwin but you’ve never even read that book!

• If you didn’t leave Darwin at least once for an extended period, people who left look at you funny but try not to make fun of you.

• You remember when the first Maccas opened in the late 90’s and everyone was so excited.

• So excited that you skipped school to go to Maccas. And if you didn’t skip school, you went straight from school to Maccas.

• And fire happened at Hungry Jacks. Hmmm.

• The movies at the cinema always came a month or two after every other city in Australia. Even Canberra…

• If you went to Darwin High or Casuarina, you were most likely to have been a smarty-pants and probably smoked in the far away ovals. You know the one.

• If Nightcliff, then you just smoked.

• If St Johns, then your parents just paid too much money for you to smoke.

• If O’Loughlin then your parents were probably religious types and wanted to make sure that you never smoked anything!

• Same with Marrara, but no one really knows what you guys were up to.

• Sanderson???

• You probably drank goon and XXXX.

[littleboyblue]

Continued

• Going shopping meant you can wear your thongs (even bare feet) and clothes you slept in and NO ONE cared.

• Walking around and seeing aborigines being like everyone else is normal.

• When you realise that this was not usual in other cities in Australia, you get upset and confused.

• There are aboriginal people in parliament.

• And yes, there is a parliament in Darwin.

• And you think parliament house is an expensive waste of money but its pretty and the air conditioning is awesome.

• When swimming in the ocean can kill you because of the crocodiles and box jelly fishies.

• And if you do swim in the ocean - you are a loser.

• Cyclone warnings during Christmas are normal and you don’t get scared.

• But you do get scared that you might be in Darwin if and when another cyclone Tracy comes.

• You clean up heavy metal looking things that might fly and chop your head off before a cyclone.

• You are supposed to have emergency food and clothes for cyclones kept somewhere – but you don’t.

• During the cyclone season, you get annoyed there’s no reception on TV.

• You know there are only a few channels and most people only watch Channel 8 and maybe the ABC for the cartoons and Rage when you were growing up.

• Imparja sucks. You don’t get it anyway, but when you do see it, you think it’s weird.

• You don’t flinch when you see water running wastefully on the driveway whilst someone is washing their car. There is no such thing as a drought in Darwin.

• You know that fish and chips at the wharf or Cullen Bay Marina are awesome.

• When watching the sunset is a beautiful thing to do and people scramble to get a good position on the beach.

• July 1st = Firecrackers!

• Mindil, Rapid Creek, Parap markets for the multicultural food and beverages.

• You know about the Indonesian dude with the black cap and his awesome barbeque halal food.

• Tropical mangoes.

• And the bats that squeal on your mango tree.

• And the mangoes, half eaten by bats on the foot of your mango tree, smelling like fermented vomit.

• 45 degree angled rain where no umbrella can save you from getting wet.

• You have experienced a warm, tropical, torrential shower, where you have gotten absolutely soaked, laughed really hard whilst being a little bit upset at the same time. And you amazingly didn’t catch a cold.

• You’ve experienced tropical thunderstorms and lightning.

• You know what ‘Gone Troppo’ means and what causes it.

• Two seasons, not four. Wet and dry.

• Air conditioning at Casuarina is bliss.

• Feeling as if your skin is about to peel off walking out of Casuarina, is not.

• The long mirror along the escalator at Casuarina, looking at your reflection, thinking you are hot stuff, whilst quickly darting your eyes upstairs because you don’t want people to think you are vain.

• High 20 degrees weather is cold.

• Pauls Iced coffee not Farmers Union.

• Flooding in your backyard after a heavy rain, thinking there might be a crocodile.

• Outdoor dunnies at Berry Springs or Litchfield Parks are foul.

• You have had leaches suck your blood at a waterhole and had to light a match to draw them out. You must under all circumstance, never, ever pull leaches from your skin. But you have so at least once out of sheer panic.

• Lake Bennett and the pontoon in the middle and having a race to see who could get on it first.

• And thinking that the slimy, creepy object that rubs against you might be a dead body or Loch Ness! Even though you knew Nessy was imaginary and lived in Scotland, you think it might still be possible.

• You’ve gone to Bathurst Island in one of those WWII type jets that look like they were welded with craft glue.

• You’ve gone to Channel Island and got scared you might get leprosy.

• Vinegar for box jelly fish stings but you’ve never used them.

• Urine for box jelly fish stings and you half wish you’d had an occasion to **** on someone just for sheer laugh value.

• The venomous snakes, jellyfish and spiders kept in formalin jars at Darwin Hospital. Being fascinated and freaked out, whilst wondering if they were really dead and if they can bite you through the glass.

• Darwin International Airport when it was simply Darwin Airport and how it used to be part of the RAAF, looking like a yellow tin shed.

• The unlimited speed limits on Stuart Highway. Woohoo!

• Then getting upset when they became a 100 maximum speed limit, but no one really followed them anyway.

• Orange light means speed up, not slow down.

• Parking your car in the city costs about 40 cents per half hour.

• You haven’t seen ALL of Kakadu but always vow to in the future.

• You’ve heard stories where people have pooped in the man made lakes at Fannie Bay and at Karama.

• Catching crabs in wooden boxes at Tiwi.

• Eating barramundis.

• All you can eat buffet at the Casino and the free coffees/teas.

• The Casino’s psychedelic, I’m-going-to-spew carpet.

• Teddy Bear picnics are weird but you probably went to one and only one that you would admit to.

• Royal Darwin Show is out in the sticks and was always too expensive.

• Small crocodiles going through a net in Fannie Bay, growing to big crocodiles and then making the news.

• People making out at East Point, Nightcliff and Casuarina Beach.

• You have never gone to the nudie beach at Casuarina.

• Or maybe you did, but they weren’t that nude anyway.

• George Brown was a better Lord Mayor than Peter Adamson because even though George liked to get drunk a lot, he didn’t get accused of stealing money from good causes.

• There’s only one real tennis court and that is on Bagot Road, and you went there with your mates especially during/after Wimbledon.

• And soaked in the spa afterwards.

• Cycling on the footpath is normal and doesn’t make walkers on the path want to kill you.

• You don’t need a clothes dryer when your clothes dry within an hour of putting them up on the line.

• You say gammon, bruz, budju and oi malacca!

• The Jape family owns pretty much all of Darwin.

[littleboyblue]

continued

• The Greek families all the construction.

• The Ahmats/Motlops/Riolis rule the footy field.

• You followed AFL, not NRL or Union.

• You’ve gone to the Military Museum at Fannie Bay once, maybe never.

• You’ve gone to the Natural Maritime Museum and seen “Sweetheart”, the giant, mammoth, crocodile.

• You’ve had mango and banana smoothies.

• You’ve picked a hermit crab, put it in your hands and wait to see it walk on them.

• You’ve also tried to see if the crabs can come out of their shells. Or maybe pulled them out of their shells - but that’s just mean.

• Putting sand onto the breathing holes of hermit crabs using your feet when they bubble up as the waves go back to sea.

• And being disappointed when they bubbled up again. Smart critters…

• Cricket on the beach.

• Footy on the beach.

• Sex on the beach. NOT…

• Stinky mangroves on ****ward Drive and trying not to breathe as you go past them.

• You’ve read the NT NEWS and think crocodile stories on the front page are normal.

• Ditto with the crocodile warning signs.

• Parap slippery slides! Getting static electricity on them.

• Being flattened by a heavy person who catches you mid-slide, even when you have given them lots of space to prevent a collision and drowning in their weight on the water below.

• The green slide was SO much more fun than the yellow slide.

• Losing your mat on the slide and feeling bum burn on the hot plastic.

• The diving board at Parap and the 10 m drop below, trying to reach the bottom and getting scared that you may never get out of the water.

• Getting sunburnt many times and getting swimming suit marks stamped on your skin.

• You’ve never really seen the beer can regatta.

• Lethal, super sized mosquitoes that suck you dry.

• And the citronella lamps that didn’t stop them.

• You’ve fed the fishies at Aquascene with bread, thought that was awesome, whilst secretly wondering if you would get tackled by security and fined the $10,000 if you squeezed one of them.

• You’ve gone fishing at the wharf and probably caught a piece of metal and/or a puff up fish.

• You used to never walk past the banyan tree near parliament house, because you might get mugged.

• Seeing the memorial crosses under the bridge at the steep corner turn going back to Casuarina from the city freaks you out. You end up slowing down big time but then go fast after it anyway.

• Seeing the Australian and NT flags on the bridge and thinking that the NT flag should be replaced because it no longer has colour. But it will never get replaced.

• Blue Light Discos and how you thought you were being so naughty.

• You’ve shopped at Palmerston rarely, but only to see Target because Casuarina and the city don’t have it.

• If you live in Palmerston. Target was your Casuarina.

• You know about the red dot sales at Big W but all the stuff there is **** anyway.

• Getting your L’s meant you had to skip school to get your 10 free driving lessons.

• You remember when the holiday toll was in the double figures.

• You can have your full licence after a year.

• You’ve seen the aboriginal rock paintings at Nourlangie before the streamlined, touristy boardwalk.

• You know how the city looked liked before the yuppie cafes, the backpacker stores, the scooter shops and the multiple Irish pubs.

• You know that the Crowne Casino used to be the Sheraton, which used to be something else.

• You know when the Smith Street Mall looked old and icky. Now it looks baby blue, ochre and icky.

• You know that Darwin High used to be an abattoir, then a hospital/cyclone shelter and then finally a school.

• You know when Woolies used to be near the mall, not near St Mary’s Cathedral.

• You know what “The Buffalos,” mean.

• You know when traffic meant being stuck at Bagot Road or ****ward Drive for 1 or 2 minutes but it always feel like ages.

• Slowing down when you saw the speed patrol ‘hiding’ behind a small bush, usually near Ludmilla bridge and then speeding up again.

• You get ****ed off why a 60 zone becomes a 40 zone near the racecourse, when there is absolutely no reason why it should be there. There are just mangroves, a wall and a PAWA building.

• You know what ‘PAWA’ is.

• You also got ****ed off after hooning on Stuart Highway, only to drive 80 when you turned toward Casuarina. It always felt like such a let down.

• Darwin before the Bunnings Mega Store.

• You’ve seen many dead kangaroos and flattened snakes when you go out bush.

• You know that kangaroos at East Point like to stand very still in huge groups and are scared of you and your car.

• But the kangaroos scare you with their red eyes, reflected in the night.

• East Point at night is just scary in general.

• You know that there was a talk of the train to Darwin but didn’t really care because they have been talking about it for decades. And besides, the train doesn’t go to Darwin, its in Palmerston somewhere…

• You grew up with at least one 4WD with a HUGE bumper bar and one of those snorkelly things on the side that made you feel really excited when you had to pass high waters.

• You’ve gone kayaking at Katherine Gorge and loved it but got scared that a crocodile might eat you when you skim your hands across the yellow, muddy water.

• You always slow down/stop for an animal crossing the road. But in the unfortunate case that you hit one, it never quite leaves you for the rest of your life.

• Nightcliff jetty is beautiful for the sunsets.

• Mindil beach too.

• You know about the old men at the beginning of Nightcliff jetty, think they are cute that they are always there for the sunset with their esky and fold up chairs but slightly freaked that they are ALWAYS there and don’t seem to be getting any older.

• The souped up, fully sick cars that go in and out of Nightcliff. Slowing down for a bump, speeding up, then slowing down for another bump.

• Nightcliff swimming pool with its palm trees and happy location on the cliff overlooking the Arafura Sea is bliss.

• You defend Darwin because you love it, even though you make fun of it yourself. Only people who grew up in Darwin can make fun of Darwin. Non-Darwin people, you will never, never know the Darwin thing ☺

[sara1]

I didn't live in Darwin long but this is so true..

[EandN]

I went to sanderson, didnt dring XXXX or goon. BUt we smoked allot and once we drank burbon with our recess hahaha

[KJEmum]

I have one ..
You know you're in Darwin when the house on the corner near the roundabout on the way to Nighcliff shops is still being built 2yrs after you moved to Darwin.

Apparently the guy refuses to get a loan and is doing it bit by bit when he can afford it.