She cut his hair without my consent !!!

[~MUMMY~]

I CANT BELIEVE MY MUM !!!

i swear she thinks my son is her kid !!! anyway..... my son went to grandmas house for 3 nights for a sleep over (which they do now and again) and anyways the day before he was ment to come home i get a phone call and my 3rd old son telling me he just had his hair cut !!! i ask by who and he said grandma and it was crooked... i started to cry but didnt let him hear it.... and he eventually after lots of chit chat passed the phone to my mum....

i wanted to scream and shout and cry and yell.... but whats the point i thought whats done is done... but i did let her know i didnt want his hair cut and i cant believe she didnt ask me... she said he needed one....



isnt it just sooooooo nasty she would cut his hair without my permission !?!?!?

i liked his hair the way it was and as soon as i saw them pull up in my drive way all i could do was swollow the lump in my throat and hold in the tears !!! ITS SO UGLY !!!
he has NEVER suited really short hair...she may aswell have shaved it !!!


ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH my poor baby looks ugly now !ok well not really he will always be cute... but she RUINED his hair !!! atleast he likes it... cause it is "spiky".... :( i guess aslong as he likes it, it will be ok.... but what would make her think it is ok to do these things....

she ALWAYS does things i disaprove and if i say something she becomes a B*tch and starts a fricken war over it which causes conflict in our family which i dont want....

theres no way to approach her about these things... but how do i send the message across it is NOT ok to do stuff like this without asking , without starting a war ?!?!?!?!?!?!

[drewid]

OMG! I would be outraged if my mother did that.

I have no idea on what you could say that, or how to confront her. Maybe you'd just have to resort to taking away HER privileges, just like a child, and not letting her have the sleepovers anymore? I dunno, its a tough one.

[MilkOnTap]

Rude! Send her a pair of hedge trimmers with a red ribbon around them for Valentines...

[drewid]

Ally!!!! :eek::eek:

[~MUMMY~]

lol....:eek:

im sure there isnt really a solution if i want to keep the peace...

just voice my opinions calmly and hope she is actually taking note that it isnt appreciated !

[razzle]

Rude! Send her a pair of hedge trimmers with a red ribbon around them for Valentines...
And then you could borrow said hedge trimmers to chop all the tops of her roses off and see how she likes it!!

[the_queen]

I have to agree with Nicole here, I wouldn't let her have my kid overnight again! Actually, I don't think I'd let her see him without me there!! Maybe not forever, but for the forseeable future.

Yeah ok, it is only hair, but the principle of the issue is that YOU are his mum and YOU should be the one to make these kinds of decisions!!

[SassyMummy]

I understand how you feel with your mother thinking she's your bubs mother too. My mother is the same...sadly though, I go along with all her "Don't do that..." and "She doesn't need that..." stuff just on instinct (I'm used to being bossed around like "the kid").

I HAVE told my mother though that she can tell me what to do all she likes regarding things...but I am the mother and therefore I will do whatever I please with my daughter. Maybe that's what you need to do - just come right out with it. It might start a fight...but surely it's better you say something now than later down the track when she's done a million other things without your conscent (when you are more likely to blow up at her too!).

You son also needs to know that YOU are the boss...Grandma isn't. Otherwise, when he's older, he'll use that to his advantage.

For now though, don't worry...his hair will soon grow back.

[cwsmum]

ooohh that would annoy me soooo much :mad:

My FIL is constantly asking DH and I when we are going to shave DS head. He is almost 3 and has never had a haircut, it is blonde and curly and way too cute to cut off. MIL does it too, but not as much. I think they are starting to realise that if they don't listen to what we want then they don't get to see our kids...we always have to make the 45min trip to them, they never come to us. For us it's not only the hair issue, it's also smoking around kids, giving them soft drink/cordial all the time...DS asked for water when we were there and MIL said here have cordial???...I tipped it out and got him water :p

Sorry, getting sidetracked there :o

You have to say something to her, otherwise she'll continue to do things without asking you first. If you don't then before you know it you'll have a teenager with a pierced tongue coz grandma said it was ok.
Good luck...

[Baby Girl]

And then you could borrow said hedge trimmers to chop all the tops of her roses off and see how she likes it!!Make sure you trim them crooked though!!

[reAllytee]

Oh i think i wouldve screamed so loud China would have heard me :o
Sorry but i could never have been as "nice" as you were about it although you cant say too much around your boy as you dont want him to get upset about it i know.
Honestly i think some grandparents need to back off & let us deal with OUR kids !

[~MUMMY~]

lol.... thanx for the advice... i love the idea of the roses... no wait the mango tree would probably be her prized plant at the moment...

my son is 3 so telling him mummy is the boss and not to let grandma do things like cut his hair without asking me wont work. he will do whatever he wants when im not around cause grandma will let him.

i will say something... it's choosing the right time to say it and how to word it so it wont cause a family war.

im just hoping his hair will grow back FAST... and it is to hot to wear a beanie... :o

[our little treasures]

sorry but if my mum had of cut my sons hair without me asking her, OMG she would have to be really stupid!! I would have gone right off on her, as she would have if I did it to my brother when he was little!! I would not allow him to stay there for a while and I would be telling her this!! ;)

[JATS]

Simple, if it were me I'd stop her sleep overs, she could only see my kids while I was there, and it would remain that way until she respected the fact that they were my kids!

[JnA]

yes, it's only hair, but I don't think the hair is the issue really, it's about making decisions and choices for your child that should really be made by you. I would be mad too.

Once, when my, now 14 year old, niece was little, I cut her fringe.. I thought I was doing her a favor because it was long and in her eyes.. oh boy, did my sister let me know how wrong I was! I did the wrong thing, but I had no idea it was wrong at the time of doing it, I thought I was helping out. :o I'm glad my sister said something and not just stewed on it and took away babysitting privledges without an explanation though.

[shed]

when I was looking after my niece, years ago, I cut my fringe in front of her. We were chatting away and she said she wanted a fringe like me. I didn't cut it because it wasn't my place to do so, but a few days later her mum rang me and said she had cut her own fringe to "be like aunty".

It actually looked pretty cute, she did a good job, for a two year old. She had to go to the hairdresser to get it tidied up a bit though.

She didn't get the scissors at my house though!

[carladam]

hi ~MUMMY~, I dont have a solution for you, I'm sorry but I just wanted you to know you are not alone. My mother and sister frequently do this sort of stuff to me and my children, and I cry and rant and vent, but never to them - only ever to my poor husband. I am so used to being treated like the "baby" of the family I dont even know how to stand up to them anymore. The last time I tried my sister - whom I love with all my heart - had me bailed up in the corner of the kitchen terrified she was going to hit me, all over ants in a dog bowl! I'm so non-confrontational that I will let them walk all over me and dictate the way i live my life just so that I dont have to deal with upsetting them and creating "family war", My mother always sides with my sister, They're really good mates. My rational brain says its such an un-healthy way to let them treat me, but every other part of me says "smile, say thank you and dont make a fuss" So when my sister put honey on my 4 day old sons dummy (ahh hello!! EVERYTHING that goes near his mouth has to be sanitised and sterilized!!) my insides were screaming NOOOOO but while she proudly gloated about getting his dummy to "stick in his mouth" when I came to collect him, I told her thank you quietly packed my children in the car and left. However I did get an opportunity to tell her not to do that again when we had a wedding to attend a week later and my family looked after my kids overnight. I left them an instruction manual on his nighttime routine and put in there "please dont put honey on his dummy." I know with my family I just have to bide my time to get my way and ask for what I want.

Baby is waking, I just wanted to let you know your not alone - I often feel like I am the only person in the world who lets her family treat her this way.

Good luck lovely. *hugs*

[A Party of Five]

Maybe you'd just have to resort to taking away HER privileges, just like a child, and not letting her have the sleepovers anymore?

:iagree:

[Harlequin]

Oh i think i wouldve screamed so loud China would have heard me :o
Sorry but i could never have been as "nice" as you were about it although you cant say too much around your boy as you dont want him to get upset about it i know.


Same. I would have punched her in the back of the head.

Ok I wouldn't have, but I would have told her to get away from me or she'd get a punch in the back of the head. :laughing:

Thankfully my mother would never do something like that. I think she knows she would have to face the fists of rage if she did.

[Mrs Potts]

The OP was 3 yrs ago... I'd say it's probably not much of an issue these days ;)