no one loves me

[indian mom]

Hi
I am really feeling alone right now although I am surrounded by the man whom i love so much and a child who is my life.
Can anyone please help me n tell me whether the problem is within me or surrounding me.
I was very happy when i was married but soon I became pregnant and had to continue with it because of pressures?(shown as love)from everyone.Once my baby was born i had to quit work n become a sahm.I know the initial phase is really a difficult phase so i tried hard and had my share of up and down days...
Now that my baby is growing n communicating things r a better now but still i get angry over her for her little mischiefs and upset my self so much that eventually i shuts myself alone in a room and cry n cry n cry for hours.
The problem does not ends here.DH is not supportive of me in any way of my care.watever routine i make for my baby,he interferes negatively n instead of following them changes it on his own...which eventually leads my baby to misbehave more than normally what she does...it frustates me further.
Also we have had s.. maybe.5 times in the past 2 years.whenever i ask him the reason he says that he's tired,life is messed up,he's busy.......what all......
I feel physically,mentally,socially ignored by him and driving myself crazy.I dont have any friends around whom i can confide into.

I m in a dilemma
pls help

[Ffrenchknickers]

Oh:( Hugs to you....its so hard feeling alone:( I hope you get some lovely supportive advice and friendship on here:) Have you sought counselling or anything? How is your spiritual life? I know for me, that is the biggest factor in feeling lonely...

I hope things get better for you - I am sure it helps just to get it out....hugs and best wishes...

[sugar n spice]

Your thread sound similar to what i have been thinking and crying about lately, i complain about my sex life thought i shouldn't as we do maybe 1 or 2 a wk but i feel like i have limited adult contact and i to get so frustrated when my kids get into mischief and the thing is my youngest doesn't understand so he just laughs. my youngest sheldon has beomce so clingy and wants me to carry him all the time. Sorry i just realised i was rambling on about myself and im supposed to be helping you here, well all im trying to say is your not alone and if you wanna chat email or pm me
rach

[reAllytee]

*hugs*
Things are hard being a SAHM especially when you crave adult conversation etc.
I would try & get out of the house as much as possible by say taking a walk even if its just down the street & back as its good for you & also bubs. But otherwise try & find maybe a local play group or friends that you can at least meet up with for a coffee & some "adult" time. I found this to help me calm down & not feel so burdened etc.
Another thing as Ffrenchie said i would look at some counselling as it seems like your feeling overwhelmed & thats not a bad thing we all feel this way at some stage. I had a lot of probs the first 3mths of bubs life & admitting i needed help was the best thing i ever did not just for me but for bubs. Once i started releasing my tension etc he became a lot happier because he knew i was. They pick up on so much you can never hide it from them.
When it comes to your hubby the best advice i can give you is to sit & talk with him. Men think & react differently to us women. He is probably feeling a little left out since bubs arrival even if you are making time for him. They often feel left out etc because they arent all you have to focus on. So you really need to talk with him let him get out what he needs to & also for you to do the same.
I wish you all the best & hopefully things get a bit better for you soon :)

[bronny-jane]

its hard being a sahm, walking is really good, it gets you out of the house, and its good for you mentally to, and the playgroup idea is what you need, other mums and dads who have something in common with you, you might be suprised at how quickly friendships can be built. are you regretting quiting your job, maybe you should book bub into daycare or leave with a relative and even get some part time work.

[Belinda1000]

hi i noticed that you r indian. you see we have indian people who live next door to us whom are quite traditional. the wife of the family is very much controlled and down trodden. i know not all indian families are like this but i can imagine if you are in one of these marriages maybe that is the reason why you are not getting the support u need from your husband. does your husband allow you to go out on your own to be with your own friends.being a SAHM it is hard sometimes. i suggest to get out during the day just to look around the shops and have a coffee. find something interesting to do at home when bubs is asleep maybe gardening or sewing. hope all looks up for u soon you always have your bubhub friends.

[my babyemmy]

I just wanna let you know that you are loved!;) I feel almost the same as you all day everyday! I love my family too bits but still feel unloved & lonely! I'm not sure if I'm the prob or everyone around me is so i cant help you on that!:o When i feel alone i play with my daughter & she makes me feel so much better!

[our little treasures]

I don't know why you have to be a stay at home mum if you are unhappy.. It may be your traditions so maybe you could go for a walk with bubby when things are getting you upset. Also maybe this is why she is into mischief not enough stimulation... I hope you cheer up and realise that your a loved person by your daughter... So give her your best and she will automatically love you for it!!:)

[mama hen]

The playgroup idea is a great one!!

** Another suggestion along the same lines is to get in contact with your local early childcare centre and ask about joining a new mothers group. I have just starting attending one and found the support fantastic!! You will get a chance to meet up with other mums in similar situations as yourself and make some new friends.

** Have you considered going into your old workplace and catching up with everyone?? I'm sure that your workmates would love to see your new addition and give you a chance to get some much needed adult conversation with people that you already know.

** If you are able to leave your bub with family for a couple of hours it is amazing how much better you will feel and everything looks much rosier after a little bit of 'me' time. Try to have coffee with a friend a haircut or if the budget allows a massage.

Good luck with everything!!

:) Me: 26 yrs
:cool: DH: 27 yrs
:p DD: 11 wks

[indian mom]

Thanx all of u for ur loving support and caring words.

I'm feeling much better now.Talked everything with DH and have decided to join a nearby playgroup with DD.
DH suggested that we should take a break from each other.Will it be of any success?
Anyways now i'm trying to concentrating to feel good abt myself and like u all said feel being loved.

Thankz once again for keeping my hopes alive for future
Take care