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View Full Version : Venting my fears and frustrations


NicNac72
01-09-2007, 08:01 PM
I posted this in another thread also, but I know I can count on my Feb Mummies for advice or a chat!

A little bit of history... DH and I met mid 2003 after we had both come out of awful relationships, he was my savior and I was his! We fell pregnant a couple of months after with Jasper!Here goes..

DH received a call from his ex (prior to me coming along) and asked if they could get together for a chat. He was a little taken aback, because they have had nothing to do with each other since they broke up, which was about 2-3 weeks before he and I got together! (Note:- They broke up because she was having it off with one of his friends!) DH has not seen or heard from either of them since!

Anyway, they did go for a coffee and have a very interesting 'chat'! She advised him that she has a son, who is almost 4 and that DH MAY be his father. She came clean and told DH, that she and (DH's friend, lets call him 'J') J broke up about a year or so ago and he wanted to have paternity tests done. It turns out that 'J' is not the father of her son. She then proceeds to say during the same time she was sleeping with DH and 'J' she had a one night stand. (Another note: She had a rep and probably still does for getting around with all sorts of men for financial rewards..)

The timing of her falling pregnant and how old her son is does add up to DH possibly being his father.

If this child is DH's son, I know in my heart that he will be 'our' son as well and I will treat him as I do my own children, but I know I will struggle with this as well.

I am 18.5 weeks pregnant with twins and I have had on/off bleeds throughout this pregnancy, I have had to stop working so I can rest and I already have two children to look after as well!

I am not looking for answers from anyone, I just feel good for getting it out really!

I only have one concern. And that is, if this little boy is DH's son, that means his mother is going to be in our lives. And that does not sit comfortably with me! It is not that I am concerned for my relationship by any means at all, I know DH loves me more than life itself!

Lots to ponder... DH is going to get some tests done next week. I am not sure how long it takes to get the results back, but I'll keep you informed!

sonlou73
01-09-2007, 08:28 PM
First up you need :hugs:

Sounds like DH ex is a silly HO, who needs to keep her legs shut!

At least your DH is having the tests done but i suppose you'll be living in limbo until then. Not sure how long the wait is for results, I hope its not too long. :fingerscrossed: it works out not be DH son.

Until then take care, try not to let it get to you which will be hard but at least you have your children around to keep you busy. Also try and not let the pressure of this tough time get between you and DH, (clearly he knew nothing about this boy) being preggers makes you become quite moody and DH gets the blame for everything (well he does where i live!).

MrsO
01-09-2007, 10:15 PM
Oh wow!!! :eek:

Just what every woman who is pregnant with twins wants to hear, hey?!?

I don't have any advise to offer other than to send you heaps and heaps of hugs! Keep us updated!

:hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

fabulouscazza
02-09-2007, 10:34 AM
I can't even begin to know how you are feeling...

:hugs:

Hang in there...

JaidevsMum
02-09-2007, 12:18 PM
Wow that must have been a shock - you shouldnt feel bad for kind of hoping its not his DS - thats a natural reaction and would make things much simpler. Its great that you and your DH are able to talk through this together though (you mentioned that in the other thread). For now I would say as much as possible just try to focus on your own little famly and your pregnancy till you find out for sure.

2SPUNKRATZ
02-09-2007, 08:36 PM
just wanted to offer more support and :hugs: .

Spolly88
03-09-2007, 06:49 AM
:hugs:
wow...that's a lot to take in
hope everything works out in your favour
i do wonder why his ex took so long to come clean about the news though...wonder what she wants?
and if the little boy isn't his in the end, while it's good for you...i feel sorry for him having to grow up with a mother having a rep like that and not knowing who his father is.