I Believe i may have DEPRESSION

[star7756]

I don’t feel like I have Depression, but I must I know after I had my DD I cried all the time at anything small or big please don’t judge me for what I am about to say it brings tears to my eyes thinking about it but I was so bad when my DD was only 2 months old I put a pillow over her head to make her stop screaming, removed it once I realised what I was doing I couldn’t imagine I had done something so stupid what if I didn’t think and killed my little girl.
she is now 2 and a half and I have had ups and downs I love being a mummy but I’m so unhappy a lot of the time I feel like nothing I ever do is right and that I am forever being watched and looked down upon.
I don’t have any real friends and when I talk to my DP I feel like he forgets how I feel's by the next day.

today has been so bad I cant stop crying I am being pushed into changing the way DD is I am told by DP and his family I am bring her up wrong and I need to make her do what I want she cant boss me around forever and that she is a naughty girl.
I put her in bed tonight and sat there to make sure she stay in bed she tried to get back up and I continued to lay her back down and she cried and gave my this heart melting look and said no mummy no and I just lost it and have not been able to stop.

is it true depression needs to be treated might went away but comes back every few weeks is it really gone or is that normal what’s wrong with me why cant I be happy I’m so lonely and hurt and angry and I don’t no why

how can I still have depression after all this time do i need to see a doctor i never wanted to because i never wanted it to be true.

[melfunction]

Firstly,have a :hugs:

Secondly, try not to be so hard on yourself. Depression is an absolute pr!ck of an illness.

Have a look at this (http://www.depressionet.com.au/) site. It has loads of information and also has very caring and helpful people you are able to talk too. Maybe check this out and make an appt with your doctor. I really think you need some help.

And tell dp's family to get lost. You are doing the best job you can do under the circumstances.

:hugs:

[Shanaynay]

Two and a half years is a long time to have been feeling like this :( :hugs:

Seek some help - pick up the phone NOW and make an appt to see your GP.

Depression can come and go, so some weeks you might feel totally miserable, then others feel more normal :) Unfortunately that's why so many don't seek help - just as it's at its worst, things start to pick up again and you think all is ok. (Till next time that is!)

[jessmarty]

Hey,

:hugs:
I had depression and anxiety ever since I was pregnant at the end of 2004. It is really horrible!! I didn't even know I had it until the end of 2006! Don't feel bad, go and get some help though. If you make an appt with your GP, get it diagnosed and then ask if you can get a Mental Health Care Plan done, it will get you really cheap visits at a psychologist or psychiatrist and they will help you through whatever it is making you feel depressed.

All the best and make sure you do something about it!! You won't know yourself once you get help!

Jess

[lilemma]

hi

dont be too hard on yourself.

and DEFINATELY seek help.

it took me two years the first time around and i was so embaressed and ashamed and when i finally let it out to a doctor, i was put on medication and within 2 weeks i felt like a totally different person.

i felt happy - something i had not felt in such a very long time.

You are not alone. Lots and lots of people go through what you are going through. But you dont have to.
Please speak to someone about this.

PM me if you ever need to talk!

[erinjacob]

i didnt believe in depression until i got it you need to find some help and try not to stress about others you are doing an amazing job and your always right if you keep telling your self that it will help my mum used to always tell me my kids are spoilt brates an im raising them wrong an now i tell my self shes wrong and im right an they are 'MY' kids not hers. hang in there