Does anyone have one son cirumcised but not the other?

[CMF]

Hi all,

It's my first post here, even though I actually joined the forums quite a while ago! This section on these boards seems to be quite busy, which is why I thought I'd come here and ask for advice/opinions.

Anyway, I have a 4yo boy, who we had circumcised as a newborn. DH and I were neither strongly oppposed or against it, but were slightly in favour of it because of the 'health benefits'. We now know that these 'health benefits' are quite the load of ****.

We now have a brand new baby boy, and need to decide whether or not to have him circumcised. DH had said afew days ago that he didn't want DS done, because he didn't want him to go through the pain. I agreed of course! Now DH has changed his mind slightly, he says that if it was all up to him, he would get it done, but says he will leave the decision up to me. He says that his issues are that our DS's will be different. Also that he doesn't know how to care for an uncirced penis. I'm also concerned about our DS's being different..... but.... is it really an issue?

What would we tell our DS's about why we got one done and not the other? What if there's resentment towards us when they're older, such as why am I circed and he's not, or the other way round, why didn't you get me circed but you had him done?

Has anyone been in this situation? Does anyone have one son circed but not the other? Am I just thinking abit too hard about this? Possibly they won't even care that they are different!

Any advice?

Thanks:)

No debates please:shame:

[BaDaBing]

Hmmm I'm slightly scared answering this one.

I have 2 sons and we had DS1 done and the then had DS2 done also. The thing is that DS2 wasn't done properly and now looks like he isn't circ'd at all. He is 2yrs old and for it to be fixed he has to go under a general.

I'm not sure what we will do but TBH I wish neither of them were done. DH wants me to make the appt to have it fixed as he doesn't wan tthem to look different which I can understand but I don't want DS2 to have to go thru it.

I don't think I'll come back to this thread, I'm scared of being slammed!

[CMF]

Thanks for you reply.

I'm still kind of undecided.... but I don't think I will end up getting DS2 done... I dunno.

[Mokar]

I dont have any sons... but my ex boyfriend wasnt circ'd yet his brother was.

I could tell he had quiet abit of resentment at his parents for circ'ing his brother and not him. He felt uncomfortable about being naked and tried to hide his penis if he was naked.

There were some issues there, definatly. Personally, I think, if you have one of your boys circ'd then its probably best that you get the other done aswell....

Hope this helps. :wave:

[drelle]

i doubt theyd even look at eachothers penises that much. & even if they did, they would jsut assumed their penises look different, the same way their faces look different.
if the uncirced one feels bad about it when he is older, then he can go to the doctor and get it done then, when he has made up his own mind:)

[allysophia]

I could tell he had quiet abit of resentment at his parents for circ'ing his brother and not him. He felt uncomfortable about being naked and tried to hide his penis if he was naked.

There were some issues there, definatly. Personally, I think, if you have one of your boys circ'd then its probably best that you get the other done aswell....

Hope this helps. :wave:

Him feeling uncomfortable about his penis seems to suggest more then simply "sibling rivalary" imho. Feelings of an inadequate penis surely stem a lot deeper then the fact his 'brother had it done.'

I don't see any reason not to update your parenting ideas in practice, and not circ. your son. To not, I'd liken it to not BF a second child because you FF the first.

[bigglet]

I dont have any sons... but my ex boyfriend wasnt circ'd yet his brother was.

I could tell he had quiet abit of resentment at his parents for circ'ing his brother and not him. He felt uncomfortable about being naked and tried to hide his penis if he was naked.

There were some issues there, definatly. Personally, I think, if you have one of your boys circ'd then its probably best that you get the other done aswell....



I knew a family who had sons that one boy was done and the other son wasn't but the boys weren't fussed either way. There was a 10 year age gap between the boys so i don't know whether this made a difference or not but all the mother said to her sons was that with the first son it was routine to do in hospitals (this was in the early 70's) and when her next son was born in the 80's it just wasn't done any more.

Both sons don't really care about it (the whole circ debate!) and they don't compare their penises with every other bloke....

I guess if you don't make a big deal out of it then it wouldn't matter?

[misskittyfantastico]

I know a family that where the father is circumcised but 2 of the 3 sons are not. It hasn't caused any problems.

[Mokar]

Him feeling uncomfortable about his penis seems to suggest more then simply "sibling rivalary" imho. Feelings of an inadequate penis surely stem a lot deeper then the fact his 'brother had it done.'


Sorry, I was just sharing what I experienced. The fact that he was uncomfortable about his penis was actually caused due to him having a foreskin. He told me this one day. So, perhaps not a 'deeper' issue like you said.

[ThisIsLiving]

Ummm gee I don't know. That's a tough question. Not that I am 'pro-routine circ' (my DS isn't done), but I do see your point with keeping both boys the same - I think that would cross my mind too if I was in your shoes. Although like a pp stated, it probably wouldn't be that big an issue for your sons - i mean how often will they be looking down there in each others company anyway - and even when they do see a difference they will probably aliken it to just having different features or something, I don't know. If it was me I would probably leave DS2 not circumsized. There's not a huge reason to do it, other than to have him look like you older son, which in my mind I don't think I could justify the surgery.
Good luck with your decision, hope we have helped in some small way. I certainly don't envy your position. :)

[CMF]

There's not a huge reason to do it, other than to have him look like you older son, which in my mind I don't think I could justify the surgery.


That's exactly my line of thinking atm!

It's such a big decision to make......

[CMF]

Hi all

Just popped in to say we have decided NOT to have DS2 circumcised.

Thanks for all your advice!

[Sailor]

This is a male reply.

I have two son's. Both grown up now. One son was circ'd and the second was not. And I can tell you it was not an issue at all. The older of the two just commented at seeing his baby brother saying he looks different. We explained why, which I'm sure was beyond his understanding at the time, but he just excepted it.

I know the older of the two has buddies who are not. So it is simply not an issue if his brother or dad is or not.

[LuvMy4Babes]

Hi there, my 9 year old son recently was circumcised due to a very tight foreskin. His 3 year old brother has no such issues and therefore isn't circumcised. Someone asked if I would get my 3 year old done to be like his brother? Um no!!! I would never have had either of them done had it not been medically necessary.

I see you decided not to go ahead :)

[Mummaholic]

My dad is cicrd, my brother is not. We never even realised until this year! LOL. Never caused a problem.

[JustJettAndMum]

Hi, Firstly well done on making your decision. Im stuck in a similar situation. My son Is NOT done. His father wasnt and im not pro circ. My new partner is and wants our child to be circumsied if we have a boy. Im against having my son done and am really stuck. He knows my feelings on it but wants his son to look like him. I am in the process of telling him our son if we have a boy will spend more time naked with his brother then his father and it would be better to have both the boys not done.

I congratulate you on your decision, im probably not much help as both your boys will have differant 'looking' penis's, but thats something you can deal with as they get older.

Lets just hope i have a girl..lol.. Find out in 2 weeks!:fingerscrossed: