7 yr itch

[sugar n spice]

I don't know but lately i am getting so sick of my marriage, i mean i love him but i don't work , never have i am too scared to put my kids in day care + i worry that i find a job and then i can't find a good daycare or i find a daycare that will fit him in full time and then i can't find a job. I always wanted to go to uni and have a high paid career instead i met the man i loved got married and had kids, i love being a mum and i want another one though dh doesn't so we argue about that. Every night my dh is working at home so i go on hear for company. I am just really fed up that my dh is too busy for me, i do everything + having to clean up after him, he get up in the morning and then the house is a mess again, i am stuck at home board s......s. I don't know what i want to do in life yet anyway ( im 22) nearly 23.

Sorry just having a winge as i feel all alone + I feel so fat i have blown up without my diet even changing if anything i eat less:confused:

[rynosmum]

Hi Sugar n spice,

You said something at the end of your message that really got it for me. The part about your weight gain with no change to diet.

Have you been tested for an underactive thyroid by any chance ? About a year after having my son, I felt very run down, depressed, was putting on weight (and eating less), was getting ill all of the time and having anxiety attacks. After a number of tests, it was found that I had a severely underactive thryoid brought on post-pregnancy - unfortunately I have to treat it every day forever but that's pretty simple and I lost 10% of my bodyweight within 6 months and have kept it off. It might be a long shot, but maybe you could get tested for this ?

Apart from that, you really need to just do what you want to do. You seem to be procrastinating over the 'what ifs'....what if I don't get childcare, what if I don't get a job etc. If you really want to go to Uni or have your career then you really need to bite the bullet and get into it.

I have a great career and went back to work when DS was 4.5 months old. He started going to daycare 3 days per week. I don't think that my solution was perfect, I do feel that he was too young, but he loves daycare and the girls there have really become part of our family now. It's not always easy (far from it) but I work hard but dedicate #1 priority to my sweet little boy. I procrastinated too - DH said for me to go back for a month, if either DS or I suffered, I'd quit. And it worked !

Oh, and my DH still leaves his plates, clothes, bags etc all over the floor too. Unfortunately, that never changes;)

Best of luck in whatever you choose. You can make a difference in your life but you need to be committed and drive it ! You can do it !:D

[draught]

Well said Rynosmum.

My advice would be to think about what you like doing, and what makes you happy, then think about a career or job in that area. There are lots of childcare options out there, and lots of part time jobs - nothing is impossible - you just have to work out what you want and why you want it.

As for Dh making the house a mess - that will never change (well - it hasn't in this house for the last 7 years) so you have to decide how to deal with it. If it gets you down you will be down every day.......if you find a way to just accept it and move on, you won't be as miserable.

I also think you need to see a doctor as suggested and get things checked out - it will give you peace of mind if nothing else.

[our little treasures]

Talk to your husband and tell him how you feel! Then see how he takes it. As for cleaning the house IMO he should be helping you out as well because being a stay at home mum is a job. They have already proved that it's the equivelent to 2 full time jobs! My hubby and I make it as even as possible because he understands how it is a job as well!! Granted I do a bit more here and there but then when I have the babies he does it all until I can move better..

[sugar n spice]

Thanks to all of you who replie, rynosmum maybe your right i should take the crunch, problem is everything i want to study is in the city and not in the country, ive looked into external studies but theres nothing.

Last wk i had a thyroid test which came back normal

[poshBecks]

Hi, a great book I can recommend for you and your dh is " The Five Love Languages" by Gary Chapman. It's brilliant!! :)

[Niki]

try this site 4 external studies http://www.acs.edu.au/courses/

[SH3LBY]

Personally, the best thing you can do is to work it out together

[sugar n spice]

thanks guys