I don't know what to do anymore

[mikaylasmummy]

I have had it with my DSS mum... she is causing so many problems for him. I think that he is on the verge of suffering from depression. She wants him to live with her full time and she wants full custody of him so she is telling him like adult stuff and stuff that he should not be hearing and that is not even true.
On average every 2nd night he is in tears because of this and I need to try and calm him down as DF works late, and aswer the hard questions. He does not want to go there any more but she thinks that were telling him to say that and she threatens us with the police so we have no choice as DF does not have legal custody over him. It was just a arrangement that they made when he was 2, she did not want the responcibility she ratherd go out and party.....

[mythreelittlemonkeys]

Sounds horrid! Even though your partner has no legal custody...ie a court order he does have shared custody rights and is the residential parent by the sounds of things...I would initiate mediation if you can...or maybe get your DSS assessed by a psychologist just incase she ever decides to get all heavy handed you have proof you tried to sort out. Any court/mediator is going to see that you have been the stable family environment and isnt going to rip him away from that. SO sad that some parents feel the need to share adult thoughts/affairs with the poor children - we have suffered with that too. Infact have been told that alot of my DSD's issues (developmental and perhaps depression) stem from the inability of her mother to cope with the split in a mature and stable manner, she just went psycho all the time about my Dh and mine relationship and the way that was discussed and always present around my DSD has affected her.
Big hugs to you and I hope you are able to sort out :hugs:

[pegasus]

Hi mikaylasmummy

it's a tough situation. I go through so much when I hear my DSD or DSS talk about tough time at home knowing we've given both of them choices about coming to live with us.

The problem strikes when we think they are coming to stay for longer than access visits, we look into schools etc and DSS and/or DSD can't face leaving their mum as they "can't leave her as she needs them"....

Regardless of the torment it causes us, we just try (in capitals) to go with the flow) not always easy, and let them decide what they want. We try to expose them to what our lifestyle is as opposed to their mother's (very different), but have to let them figure it out for them selves

End of story - very frustrating over the last 10 years and still ongoing, happy to talk to you via pm if you want.

Goodluck!

Pegss....