Desperately Seeking Help/advice!!!

[all4addy]

Hi, I am very desperately in need of some help. I have a 2 1/2 month old daughter who constantly wants to be fed and carried.

Basically it goes in a cycle like this: she get brestfed, falls asleep during feeding. Now if you try to wake her, she'll feed again and then fall back to sleep and again and again. And if you put her down she'll wake up and want to go stright back on your breast.

Now before you say anything, I have tried basically everything from letting her cry it out (she gets soo upset that she ends up heave crying and then vomiting) to slings (she still wants to be feed inside those and since I have large breasts this is not possible. I have also tried feeding her (which she ends up asleep) then moving her into a sling/carrier, she just wakes up and wants to be fed/or comfort suck again).

She constantly sucks on my nipple during the night (she had to be moved to my bed due to her screaming everytime i put her down). Please help as she has been on my lap shoulder or in my arms 24/7 for the last 3-4 weeks.

She just feeds,goes to sleep, i put her down and she screams murder until I pick her up and place her back on my breast.
Shes happy as long as shes on my lap, through which she constnatly wakes up and takes my nipple back in her mouth.

The house looks like a bombsite, I haven't had a shower in 5 days, and can only manage to get in one small snack meal a day (no other food), from which she ends up screaming blue throughout me making it till i pick her up again. PLEASE HELP!!!!!

[*Chels*]

u poor thing!!!has she been like this since she was born?my only advice would be that she likes sucking!!have u tried a dummy?and is she getting enough milk from u?sory i cant be more help!

[jarrahsmumma]

(((hugs))) sounds like you are having a testing time. Have you had a look at Elizabeth Pantleys' 'No Cry Sleep Solution'? It may be of some help to you. Or try Dr Sears website, they offer gentle settling methods. :)

[moonblossom]

sounds like your baby gets a whole load of pleasure from sucking, I think a dummy is the way to go. Not everyone is for them, but some of my babies constantly fed from me, falling asleep, only to wake again to feed all day and night...I gave them a dummy and it satisfied their sucking cravings.

Worked for me,

Good luck

[all4addy]

I have tried a dummy, she either has one or two sucks and spits it out, or just howls if I give it to her.

[Kaileysmum]

Hi

It sounds like she is either not getting enough milk as she shouldnt need to feed all the time, or she just wants the soothing sucking motion. Is she gaining enough weight? Is she draining the breast at a feed? With the dummy thing, have you tried different types of dummys? I know my dd will only take one type of dummy. There are a lot of different ones out there and they all have different shapes.

My dd was the same with the carrying thing, she hated to be put down, so I was carrying her all the time. Got her out of it by gradually puttinng her down more and more each day, but when I put her down Id play with her and give her heaps of attention, it seemed to work. She still wants to be carried a bit, only when she tired or crabby.

hope this helps you a bit.

[Goosie22]

Hi sounds like your doing some hard yards:)
Have you been to see a Pead about her? Sometimes the constant sucking can be to related to silent reflux ieThe stomach acid comes up out of the stomach into the oesophagus through the cardiac sphincter but doesn't result in any projectile vomiting, but it does cause excoriation of the mucosa and the baby copes with this pain by drinking the milk to help stop the burning. Its a bit like intergestion when your pregnant, it very painful and hard to sleep resulting in constant comforting and feeding.

Or you might find a Chiropractor that specialises in newborns helpful, the stresses of birth can put some body functions out of wack?

[dannii]

wow your daughter sounds like my daughter!! and they nearly the same age!

i have same feeding problem, i cant get anything done. i just could never explain it to people to ask for the help, but im glad you done it for me! pleeeease let me know if u find an answer!!

Not quite as bad as you have it, but it still drives me insane!
its the day time. as indy sleeps through the night, but will not get put down of a day time.!
no matter how many times i get her to sleep, she just wakes straight back up when i put her down.
she doesnt go to bed till about 10:30 at night, so by then im usually stuffed.

anyways, i hope u find an answer, and PM me if u need more support, we could help eachother!! :)

[mummy22]

i kinda know how you feel.
my little one is 13 months old now and he was like that too.
my husband said i was feeding him to much but it was what my DS wanted.
grothspirts make them more hungry then u think and the sucking thing might be just for comfort.

my little one is still feeding on me im trying to wean him off but sometimes its the only thing that will calm him down and get him to sleep. im still trying to figure it out. and i have acepted the fact that shower once or twice a week.

some advice was to me was that stages wont last forever and then it will be something else. hang in there. something u try might work and it will stick.:)

[Nina]

You poor thing, i had similar with my son, actually come to think of it my daughter wasn't much better, but it's easier when there's two of you as you can tag team.

Sadly what works for one doesn't always work for another. So maybe try by putting her in different positions to sleep. I'd be trying to express into a bottle - it's hard i know, never really worked for me, but then nothing was easy when it came to breastfeeding with me, so try to express and then give it to her in her bed, that way she falls asleep you can slowly get it from her mouth or hope it just falls out and you might get some peace. I say might, as it only here and there worked with mine.

Some babies won't take a dummy but like their own finger, so try sticking that in her mouth.

Is there anything that she will allow so she can go to sleep other then being attached to you?

I ended up going with my son to a sleep place, was to spend a day there to get him settled as we couldn't do it no matter what we tried, and once there he was so good, fell asleep and slept the whole time we were there. Little pest. But it somewhat helped, it will at least give you some other ideas and if nothing else a little rest.

Hope she improves soon for you.

[Tea Lady]

Umm, you could maybe try elevating the head end of her bassinette / cot which I've heard sometimes helps if it's a stomache acid thing. All the other suggestions sound really good tho. I'd try different brands of dummies, and maybe even see if she'll suck something else - a friends bub sucks his mittens. Sorry I'm not much help but I do understand how draining it can be. Hope things improve. :)

[Mum2Lucas]

It sounds like she may only be getting the formilk and not any of the hind milk which stops the baby from being hungry. I used to keep my DS awake with a wet washer sometimes if he fell asleep too early during a feed. DS used to wake up every hour for a feed when he was 3 weeks old.

[ETsMum]

Have you tried wrapping her? Or at least her arms? My DS was a bit like that - not the feed part as he is FF, the carry part. I would have to wrap his arms in fairly firmly otherwise when I put him down he would startle himself awake, if he could move his arms. Another thing to try - I also would rock him or sit and hold him whilst he was lying on a pillow. That way when I wanted to put him down he was already lying flat and there was less body movement when I lifted him off the pillow and put him in the cot. He didn't like being all snug and scrunched up in my arms and then all open and alone in the cot.

(Don't be tempted to leave bub to sleep on the pillow though)

[ETsMum]

I just had another thought, I can't sleep, I'm worried about you, so I've come back to you..... This is supposed to sound nice and caring, so please don't get upset with me if it doesn't read that way. :)

You really need to look after yourself, so you can look after your bub. If you aren't eating and drinking properly, then you can't be making good milk for your bub. She is only getting what you have and if you have nothing...... :eek:

Are you on your own? Is there someone that can hold the baby while you have a nice long soak in the tub? If you have friends that come over - don't entertain them and make them coffee etc... Feed bub, and hand her over to a friend and go and have a nice bath or long shower. Lets face it - they only really come to see the baby anyway! Maybe they can take bub for a walk in the pram or something. Write yourself a note to do this and stick it to the fridge :D That way you won't forget and think 'doh, that was my chance' after they have gone.

A few other things... My bub used to have 2 hours of full on crying in the wee early hours of the morning. When DP would walk the floor with him, I would take the opportunity to wash my hair - well I wasn't going to get any sleep with all that noise!! :rolleyes: I also used to not eat much during the day. Like, lunch at about 4pm. Now I have diabeties so I must eat. I eat straight after I feed DS, and my meals really have to be planned out now. But a tip I read somewhere for new mums, was to pack your lunch, m/tea & a/tea at the beginning of the day, like you were going to work and have it all ready on the bench or in the fridge to grab.

I hope this helps.

[reAllytee]

I really feel for you. I didnt bf longer than 4 or so days but i had a babe that wanted constant attention/contact & its very hard especially on your metal state.
As Len said you really need to look after yourself even if its just 20mins alone time & just having someone come play with bubs while you either bath or just lay down that way your close by if needed can work wonders. I also used to find taking bubs for a walk helped him also as he loved the movement in his pram otherwise i just used the carrier while at home.
Like Goosie said id think about seeing a doctor if this keeps up as bubs may have reflux or not feeding properly due to some other reason. My bubs had silent reflux & colic so its not much fun. I had a very hard first 4mths & i sometimes wonder how i made it through.
You really need to sort it out especially because bubs will be picking up on you being stressed out so as soon as you become calmer you will find bubs will follow.
Good luck keep us posted on how it all goes. :)

[our little treasures]

I would just do what she wants but if you really can't take it try all different varieties of dummies. My DD only took to the $7 for one dummies, cost me a fortune but she liked it.. OH and my dd was excactly the same where she would feed off me all the time I went with the flow and added a dummy with a bit of jam on it and bobs your uncle. From that day on she fed 3-4 hrly except hot days.;)

[all4addy]

Thank you for all your suggestions. I think she was just going through a growth spurt. Shes still pretty bad, but a lot better than what it was.

Its really hard though, when something like that happens, and your just too tired to try to concentrate on solving the problem (reading a book about it etc) so you just continue into this downward spiral of being tireder and tireder.

I've look at Tracey Hoggs E.A.S.Y. rountine, but it doesn't seem to work for my little one, as she uses my boob as a "prop" and nothing else will help her sleep, so If I do the activity after her eating, then she just wants to "suck" again. I have tried nearly every dummy there is!!!! But I found a no name one on eBay selling in a bulk lot that looks actual nipple shapped as opposed to "dummy" shaped, so I will be trying this.

I also have her in cloth nappies, and work part-time from home (via the internet) and so am kept busy 50 out of 24 hours :)

But have just gone into a euphoric trance mode where I just lazily smile at everything. I ordered my hubby to clean the house as a valentines day present, he managed to get one room done yesterday, but since I got him a DVD recorder and learning remote for valentines, I haven't heard a sound of cleaning since, just him tinkering away taking things apart (which me or the repairmen will probably have to put together again).

:) Back to work

[shanias_mum]

Hi all4addy,

My dd had a simalar prob when she was young (shes now 3) she would allways want to be fed, was restless, and had to sleep in the bed with me in my arms (used to drive my df mad)

Any way i gave her a dummy, and i aggree that she would only take one type, and i also gave her a bottle feed one day. That day she was content happy an went to sleep in her own cot!!!!

So needless to say i put her on the bottle, i just didnt have the milk supply to bf her. I do hate not being able to bf her but it was the best thing and it gave me a break.

Hope this helps.