Why is it so hard? Why doesn't any one want me? :(

[MoonstoneMumma]

Here I am giving my services as a doula away for free and i have had no replies at all! Advertised on websites, doula sites, local paper, local shops and everything.

Now that i have done the course i can see such a benifit to having a doula present, why do people not want this? Is it because they dont know what a doula is? How do we change this?

From having one hell of a crappy birth myself, i would be willing to pay any amount of money to ensure that i do not go through the same emtional pain and suffering that i went through then (and even now to this day!) not saying that using a doula will solve everyone's problems, but you get the drift.

sorry for the rant, i just dont get it.

[Tea Lady]

Maybe you could try using a different title when you advertise.... I know I'd never heard of a doula until I did quite alot of research before DD's birth, and even now I think it's a strange word. It doesn't communicate what it is IYKWIM.

I'm sure people will want you if they know what it is you do :)

[QTB]

I found it really hard too. i didnt get any bites for ages, then i got 4 all at once! lol it will happen hun, just keep your spirits high...

are you with OB or CBI?

[Chelle123]

I don't mean to sound ignorant but I'm on baby #3 and I've never heard of a doula.

[Hels*Bels]

Some good advice, how about advertising yourself as a Doula (birth assistant)? or something like that.

I had no idea what a doula was before I joined BH :o

[moonblossom]

Hang in there Shea. I know what you mean about the name tho, so i'm going to use what was said above Doula (Birthing Assistant) so it clicks on what it is.

I'm still training, but hopefully I have one birth lined up for October, fingers crossed.

It will happen :smiliedance:

[moonblossom]

Oh and if anyone has trained, or is training with CBI, could you please PM me, I have a question. Thanks

[henrygirl]

Here I am giving my services as a doula away for free and i have had no replies at all! Advertised on websites, doula sites, local paper, local shops and everything.

Now that i have done the course i can see such a benifit to having a doula present, why do people not want this? Is it because they dont know what a doula is? How do we change this?

From having one hell of a crappy birth myself, i would be willing to pay any amount of money to ensure that i do not go through the same emtional pain and suffering that i went through then (and even now to this day!) not saying that using a doula will solve everyone's problems, but you get the drift.

sorry for the rant, i just dont get it.

i would defernately do it if you were in brisbane. i agree with the others by refrasing the add.

[warriorPRINCESSdaughter]

I am finding it hard too! been posting all over the web at different sites ect. but to no avail. i am going to the Logan hospital (just outside of Brissy) this week and ask the anti-natal clinic if i can put up a flier. Has anyone done this before at their local hospital? I think its a good idea about changing the title, iam going to put Massage in big letters to get their attention. maybe that will help.

ok girls bye for now
:angel:

[~Emmylou~]

I think that when the doula is ready the births will come - you need to give women the space to get to know you.

Birth support isn't the kind of service people just call the first person they come across - so it isn't something that you're going to be swamped with enquiries as soon as you advertise your services.

Be patient, the right person will seek you out, for the right reasons...at the right time ;)

[MoonstoneMumma]

what about the term 'birth therapist' could that be a correct term to use?

[Mamaduke]

You could use the title 'birth attendant' instead of 'doula' - that may help?
I know that aside from not really knowing what a doula did, back in my ignorant days I thought they were only for hippies who wanted to give birth in the ocean surrounded by bottle-nosed dolphins and the sounds of Enya blaring from the boombox! :o

[MoonstoneMumma]

hahahaha, yeah i thought it was for hippies too! maybe i need to modernise it in my area!

[SassyMummy]

I think the women here at BH are probably a bit more enlightened than other women who only hear things from a small group of friends or whatever... so I'd say in the general population, not many people have the slightest idea what a doula is.

Also, I imagine a lot of first-time mothers might not understand what a valuable tool they can be... how I expected my birth to be and how it actually was were 2 COMPLETELY opposite things, and I would have never thought I might have needed a doula. Not that I would want one anyway... like MD, I thought they were for hippies...

(Maybe they are... I seem to be getting more and more hippy-ish in my ways...lol).

I'd definately use the term "Birth Attendant" and, if there's room to, give a brief run-down of what services you provide. A lot of people would have absolutely no idea.

Also keep in mind that some women want it to be a "private" thing and aren't open to the idea of having a doula there (even though they'll have many midwives and doctors there...lol), watching them give birth.

Same goes for partners - I know a lot of men aren't very open to the idea, so perhaps an interested mother might be swayed by the fact that her partner doesn't want one to attend (not all are willing to tell their partners to "get stuffed" like I am with mine...:p ).

Good luck!

[our little treasures]

Use the word birth attendant and Doula beside it. That way people that read the add will then know what a doula is even if they don't need one and soon it will become a common word.

I also had no idea what a doula was until this year thanks to bubhub. I actually talk to a lot of mums and even my own mum and they had no idea there was such a person.

[TwoWiseGals]

Be patient, the right person will seek you out, for the right reasons...at the right time ;)

Exactly...

Chin up mate, it really only has been a short period of time since you started and finished the course....

It'll come in good time....

[BeautifulBoys]

I understand I'm a trainee doula,im in hobart now but trained with australian doulas in perth.. i am still yet to support my first birth....:smiliedance: ...its so hard here, i think its so important to have as much support & info you can, but it may be the dad-to-be(partner) that finds it hard to have someone else in the room, with my first DH said no way!!:no: he was great but i do think it would have been nice to have a womens support aswell, i guess not informed enough...all my family & friends had no idea what a Doula is, except for some of my friends that were already mummys.
Next time i wouldn't mind someone else their, but don't know any one here yet that I'd have, & I know so much more this time I won't take any "****" ....

[Rainbowbrite]

Maybe get the word out there with friends? I found my trainee doula through a friend on bubhub :)

[greengables]

I'm a bit ignorant on this...
but don't the midwives give the same support as a doula?

[Noah_and_Elijah]

Just hang in there. Keep posting ads, handing out flyers, whatever you need to do.

Good luck.

[BreakfastatTiffanys]

I'm a bit ignorant on this...
but don't the midwives give the same support as a doula?


No they do not, a midwive is there for the hospital. A doula is there for you and your baby and partner.

This is my understanding anyway. Some one please correct me if I am wrong.

[Seekrit]

I'm a bit ignorant on this...
but don't the midwives give the same support as a doula?
midwives are trained baby catchers.. if you're having a hospital birth, that's what they'll do (they give some support)
A doula is someone who will only give support, support your choices for your birth, remind you of what you wanted and rub your feet if you want. :p

[MoonstoneMumma]

I'm a bit ignorant on this...
but don't the midwives give the same support as a doula?

doulas do nothing medical - we are there to help you decide how you want to (hopefuly) birth you baby by giving you lots and lots of information to help you decide. we are the before, during and after the birth.

[doulacara]

I'm a bit ignorant on this...
but don't the midwives give the same support as a doula?

As the OPs have said, doulas are not medically trained like midwives are, but are trained in natural comfort techniques and can be there for you from when you go into labour at home until after the birth. Most first time mums go in to hospital very early in labour and a doula can help you stay at home as long as possible.

In an ideal world, midwives would give the same level of support as a doula. However, in most cases, you will not know your midwife when you arrive at the hospital in labour and if your labour occurs around a shift change, your midwife may change halfway through. In many hospitals the midwife may be assigned to other women at the same time as you and may not be able to give you as much attention as you would like or need. A doula can bridge this gap by being a continuous presence throughout pregnancy, labour and birth - someone who you know and trust.

Midwives also can be restricted by hospital policy and may not be able to encourage you to do things (like have no continuous monitoring eg) whereas a doula is answerable only to you.

A doula does not take the place of your partner, but provides additional support by enabling your partner to feel secure. Many first time dads are surprised by the intensity of labour and can become anxious about the discomfort their partners are in. Having a doula present can help keep both of you calm, by reassuring you both that what is going on is a normal thing, and allowing Dads to be able to focus solely on you rather than worrying that everything is ok.

Although it is not a pre-requisite to be a mother, most doulas have experienced birth themselves and it is very reassuring to have support from someone who has 'walked the walk' and who believes in birth as a natural process which you are perfectly designed to complete.

I hope this helps.

Cara

[AM]

I hope you get some bites really soon.

At my homebirth 18 months ago, i had a mw, and a trainee doula. It was great.:)

[Freya]

Yeh i agree change the title my sister is a doula and wheni tell people this there always like what is that? So explain that you are a support person, good luck!

[TwoBoysOnly]

great explanation doulacara.....being a midwife I feel very tied to policies and procedures and although many a times I want to say to women don't have that ARM or you don't 'need' that monitoring I can't as such but am gradually working out ways to 'suggest' this. Now that I work in a midwifery team I get to meet a lot of the women antenatally and thus I hope to educate them in both benefits and risks to everything that they will come across when they hit the birth suite....hmmm we can only try...

[Julie Doula]

Shea, I think it's fantastic that after your birth experience, you've become inspired to become a doula.

I think time and experience are your friends in this kind of work. You're still young and some people (not all) may look for a motherly figure in a doula. Every baby you have yourself and every birth you attend, you grow in experience. You're just at the start of your career. Time is on your side!

I also found that completing the doula course was just the very start of my doula education. Attending the conferences was very valuable - you glean so much from other doulas, some who have decades of experience. The conference is in Perth this year. Attending other workshops and birth classes is also valuable. Whenever I am not busy with clients I use the time to pad out my doula education. There are always ways to supplement your life-long learning.

I did use words other than doula to advertise - I used "professional birth attendant" (that's what they call them in USA).

It is a new concept in Australia. Doula work does tend to start out slow, until your first few happy clients start to spread the news by word of mouth. 6 months ago I made a post similar to yours!

This is my first year of working as a doula in Australia. I'm finding that there is a rhythm to it that is interestingly similar to other seasonal rhythms - and even the rhythm of birth. There's clusters, then a down-time when I can rest and re-group and organize my resources and gain new skills - then another cluster of births. The first time I had three months and no clients, I got a bit discouraged. But now I realise it is all part of the rhythm of life and embrace it. (It makes me a better doula!)

It will all happen at the right time and you'll be ready and you'll do a wonderful job and be a great blessing to a birthing woman.

It's a bit like birth - less push, and more trust ... and it just happens ....

[MoonstoneMumma]

Thanks so much Julie. I have been researching for other ways to advance my education while nothing seems to be happening, however i have found that a number of these workshops can be quiet expensive. so i guess after my first few clients i will be able to attend them and then meet with other doulas and midwives around the place.

i guess i just cant wait to help people bring their children into the world.

[Julie Doula]

Oh yeh, you're right - some of them can be very expensive! We had one locally that was called 'Birth Week', it was a whole week of excellent speakers and workshops - on a close to donation basis. It's a matter of choosing which ones to invest in. I am not going to the doula conference this year because of cost - I went to the Birth and Post-natal services conference earlier this year. Can't stretch to two a year at this stage!

[Lolo]

Shea,
You are so motivated. I thought about looking for a doula last night and your thread was the first I saw. I am due next month and I need your help!!
I hope its ok to PM you.

[bigglet]

Ah too bad you are in NSW coz I always considered using one!

Good luck anyway - BTW a lot of first time mums have no idea what a doula is and probably still don't. I didn't know.

[MoonstoneMumma]

education is the key i think in my area! i am going to contact the local paper to see if they wanna do a story on me! lol

[shelldar]

Shea, thats a good idea going to the paper. I did that myself a while ago. It was part of a paid advertisement that I took out with the paper. It did generate some interest, but I unfortunately did not get any bookings from it.

Like others have said, I was in your shoes a year ago, and it does just seem to happen. I have actually had to turn away 3 mums recently because I am only taking on one a month.

Another thing that I have just recently done is to make up some big boards with photos, quotes etc on it about doulas (and about Calmbirth in my case) and gone to one of the Baby and kids markets. I set up a 'stall' and even though I am not selling any products, I am selling myself. I have brouchures and business cards, some balloons and lollies to get the kids in, and I offer free massage while we sit and chat. I found it to be very well recieved and have had bookings from it. People like to see you and get to know you, and its a nice informal way to do it. Let me know if you would like any more info on how I did the markets (I actually have another one coming up next weekend)

Keep plugging away. Soon you will have enquiries coming from all over the place.:)