View Full Version : Second miscarriage
We've had a pretty difficult couple of days and have learned that our dream to become parents won't happen this time.
I had a tiny amount of spotting on Sunday night. Just two tiny spots on my toilet paper. I kept telling myself it was probably nothing, but there was a niggling doubt in the back of my mind, so we went to the emergency department at King Edward (specialist women's hospital) at about 9pm on Sunday. They explained that their registrar was not available to scan me so they sent me home after making an appointment for 8am the next day.
I was a bit anxious, but given that the spotting had stopped completely and I wasn't in any pain, I was fairly confident that the appointment the next day would reassure me. I was wrong. I turned up at 8am yesterday and was poked and prodded and scanned. The ultrasound showed a pregnancy in the uterus, with a yolk sack, but no baby. The pregancy was never going to be viable. I elected to have misoprostal inserted to bring on a complete miscarriage - this meant an hour in the hospital and then a week at home, rather than a d&c.
So, I'm at home all week, feeling empty, bleak and confused. The staff at the hospital were amazing and helpful, DH and my Mum were incredibly supportive, but it's just all a bit too horrible right now.
In some ways I am really grateful for the timing. My first appointment with my obstetrician wasn't until next Thursday - three days before we go overseas for a holiday. If we'd found out then, it would have been a disaster. Now our holiday has a slightly different meaning, but will be even more appreciated by both of us.
Thank you all for your support, you are incredible women.
I am so sorry for your loss Bron.:(
Bron, it's really hard to know what to say except that I am so very sorry you have to be going through this for a second time. I can't imagine it and I don't imagine any words can make you feel better. Just know that we are all thinking of you and sending our love.
Bron, I don't know what to say, except that I am so sorry for your loss and I'm here if you need support or someone to lean on.
Im very sorry to hear of your loss. I know from experience how difficult a thing it is to go through. Big hugs to you.
I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. :( Take care and take it easy...*hug*
I'm so very sorry to hear of your loss.:( Take care.
Thinking of you and please call upon us in any way if there is anything we can do to help.
bron i so sorry about your loss :( i don't know what to say but take care & we are all thinking about you.
Thinking of you Bron :(
I was sitting here trying to think of the right thing to say when i realised, there isn't one. I'm just so very sorry for you and your DH and i hope the holiday does you some good. I can't imagine what you must be feeling but i'm here for you, as is everyone else here.
Hugs Bron - how very sad for you and DH. We're all thinking of you. xx
I'm so sorry to hear of your loss, no words can take away the pain you are feeling right now. Please know that we are here for you, anytime you need us to be & take heart I also had 2 m/c before I was blessed with my beautiful baby girl, it happened for me & it will for you too.
I am sorry to read your news, I don't know what to say except you are in my thoughts.
Oh Bron, I am so sorry to hear about your loss... It is so hard knowing the right thing to say in these sad times - all I know is that if you need to talk, cry (screaming negotiable ;) ) then we are all here for you.
The loss of the second bub is so much harder in some ways than the first... Nothing will replace the emptiness that you feel... except for time.
Take care of yourself... Have a nice hot bubble bath with a glass of champagne (God knows you could use it right now) and try to relax. Your time will come - as will mine...
Oh no Bron:( I have no words....you are in my thoughts:)
I'm very sorry Bron :(
((((((((((hugs))))))))))) Bron I'm devestated to hear of your loss. As you know I was so happy for you and now I'm at a complete loss. I'm soooo sorry to hear about this and can't imagine what you are going through right now. I hope the holiday you and DH have coming up will be a time to relaxe, heal, talk it all over with each other and try to enjoy yourselves.
We will be here for you when you get back and take as much time as you need to greive and heal.
Although words feel pretty useless and inadequate at a time like this, I am so very sorry to hear about your loss, Bron.
Take great and gentle care of yourself
Bron i'm so sorry. Big hugs.
Hugs to you Bron. This is such a sad loss. :(
I too am very sorry for your loss Bron and I hope you enjoy your time overseas and be very kind and gentle to yourself. Thinking of you.
Thank you all so much for your thoughts - your comments have helped me a lot.
It is a very sad and difficult time, but we'll struggle through. We are lucky, our relationship is fantastic and we are able to lean on each other when times are difficult. I've said this in replying to your pm's too - I feel most sorry for my husband, he cancelled his patients yesterday, but was needed back at work today - it must be challenging for him to work when the grief is still so raw.
I think we'll keep our appointment with my obstetrician next week - he does fertility work as well, so we might ask him whether there are any tests he can do to figure out why it is that we can get pregnant quite easily and I can carry a baby quite easily, but the baby doesn't seem to develop.
Thanks for your thoughts and your hugs. You all amaze me.
I'm so sorry Bron. I hope your appt brings some answers for the future. In the meantime, many warm hugs from us all.
Bron - I am so sorry to hear about your loss. Hope you get some answers. Like all the other wonderful bubhubbers have said - there are a lot of people thinking of you (and shedding a quiet tear with you).
Bron- I am so sorry for your loss i hope you can get some much needed answer from your doctor. Big (((((((((hugs))))))))) to you.
oh Bron I am so sorry ((((((((((((Hugs to you)))))))))))))))))))))
Oh Bron, Im shocked:( I am so truly sorry for yours and your dh loss, I am always here for you if you need to talk about anything at all.
hugs to you and your family. :(
I hope you find the answers to it all.
There will never be the right words to say in this situation.
You are in our thoughts & prayers.
Take care of yourself & hubby but most of all each other.
I am sooooooooooo sorry for your loss :(
Heaps and heaps of Hugs Snoopy
Bron, I really dont know what to say. But know that you are in my thoughts.
Thank you all again for your support. I am feeling a bit less bleak today.
I just went to the hospital for a check and was relieved that everything looks fine, so I don't need to have a d&c this time - the misoprostal worked perfectly. This was quite a relief.
The lovely doctor said that this time I had a blighted ovum - the conception occurs, the hormones happen, the placenta develops, but the baby does not develop at all. I expressed my fears about having lost two pregnancies in a row, and she said it is highly unlikely that there is any problem with me, just two very unfortunate accidents, especially given that both pregnancies ended so differently. This was reassuring to hear.
So the healing continues. I really am grateful for all your thoughts and support.
I am so sorry for your loss honey. I am thinking of you.
Big hugs and kisses and I hope you enjoy your holiday (u deserve it)
Bron- Im am really so very very sorry to hear of your loss, my heart goes out to you, i always think the emotional pain ways out the pysical pain, im thinking of you and i know your going thru the "why" me and "what made this happen to me" but trust me honey dont try and rack your brain to figure it out because you cant, (i know i tryed to do it). I know how excellent they are at King Edward, thats were i had my D&C and the staff were amazing, i would totally recommend them. Take care of yourself darl ill check up and see how you are going in the next few days. luv jenn
I am so sorry for your loss, all i can say is that i know how you fel and if you need to chat please feel free to pm me. Take the time on your holiday to relax and recuperate(?sp) I will be thinking of you and send good thoughts your way.
Believe when i say that your turn will come and your two little angels are up there watching over you with my two little angels.
The staff at kemh are great, did they recommend the remeberance ritual to you that they hold once a month in the chapel for mum's and dad's who have had m/c's? i went after my first m/c and i found it really healing, it was something really special for my little angel.
Take care of yourself and be kind to yourself and remember we are all here if you need us
Take care talk to you soon
Bron, I am so sorry to hear of what you are going through .... but I have GREAT news for you!
This sounds ever so similar to my track record, they said our 2nd m/c was a 'blighted ovum' type thingo - and just the same, no worries falling but really hard to get that bubba to stick!
And now just a blink of an eye later, I am half way through this pregnancy.
It is so true what someone mentioned - the second one I found so very much more devastating than the first although it was earlier on so physically easier - it absolutely knocked me for six
Just trust your body, when the time is right,it WILL happen again for you
All my thoughts are with you during this very ordinary time for you - if I can do anything to help just pm me
Lots of Love
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