SIL paints 3yr old sons nails

[my babyemmy]

I really need some advice on this one! :confused: my SIL loves painting her own finger & toe nails and started doing her sons since 2 1/2 yrs old! I found out 8 years ago never to offer her my opinion on anything as she always turns around to me that I'm just jealous! Anyway her son goes to day care & 3 yr old kinda with his finger & toe nails painted! A lot of mums already hate her, but today someone called her a freak when she dropped her son off! I really don't know what to say to her as her excuse is he always asks me to do it,and i would be a bad mum if i don't! What would you do?

[Goosie22]

I paint my kids nails too if they want also:) silver glitter at the moment. David Becham and Bono wears nail polish its cool. My son also has strawberry lip balm for chaft lips. No one says anything to me about it?

[veve]

oh dear.. the poor boy is going to be a social outcast!!! :eek:

if my DS REALLY wanted his nails painted I would tell him that it was against the rules at kindy (it is definately against the rules at school- why not kindy too??) - not only that ... why cant she say NO??? go with either it is a GIRLS thing (too sexist??) or a GROWN UP thing... if he wants to paint his nails when he is 12 ... he can do it :D you aren't a bad parent for saying NO (der?!!) - the BEST parents set boundries!!!!

I'd personally be worried about chemicals?? you aren't supposed to paint your nails when you are pregnant... it is just one more thing on his body?!!

I dont know if you can change the issue without offending her... you're probably better sending the KID subliminal messages about how pretty girls look with make up etc ...

I have to ask though- what colour does she use??!!! is the poor kid wearing fire engine redo or barbie doll pink?? or is it at least something grungey and 'cool' like a dark blue or black?? (like lee from aus idol??)

good luck:eek:

xxx

[my babyemmy]

mainly pinks & bright purples even oranges in summer! :o

[jarrahsmumma]

What a sad sad world we live in when a small child cannot copy his mummy and have his nails painted. :( Children have no idea of gender stereotypes. He would have no idea that only girls should paint their nails.

[veve]

What a sad sad world we live in when a small child cannot copy his mummy and have his nails painted. :( Children have no idea of gender stereotypes. He would have no idea that only girls should paint their nails.

I dont think that it is a gender stereotype as such.. if he wants to wander around the house in his mums bra and put his hair in pigtails.. go for it... I just dont think it needs to be when he goes out?!

I personally dont believe that children should paint their nails... but that is just IMO ... I think that make up... nails... and high heal shoes should be part of growing up... I dont think they belong in kindy...

xxx

[shed]

Harmless. More harm done if a big fuss is made. Let him realise in his own time that its "for girls".

[jarrahsmumma]

Well said Shed.

I don't agree with children wearing make up either, but if they are, it should not be made a girls only thing, and a fuss made. He will get over it in his own time.;)

[lukaelmo]

Teehee, my DP paints his toenails, usually a dark purple colour. When we were having dinner with DP's family; mum, dad, sister, BIL, and two nephews, all the adults laughed at him.

The nephews were fascinated (11 and 7) though, and the next time we went over there - yep - painted toenails for the boys! Funny thing though - their dad painted his too! I was amazed, I really hadn't pegged him as the type at all, he's a bit of a tough guy but here he was, painted toenails because his boys wanted him to join in on their fun.

I thought that was lovely.

[Baby Girl]

Who gives a hang - let the kid enjoy having colours on his fingers and toes - he will have to be a serious grown up all to soon - let him be a kid now. More power to his mum for going with the flow and letting him be individual!!

[Ana Gram]

What's the big deal? I think it would be a great memory for him to look back on when he is older, serious bonding time with mummy. And who doesn't love being pampered, kids love it too!

[Supermum]

Both my son and daughter came home from daycare with pink nails and toenails a couple of months ago. Son was particularly proud of them and showed everyone. He has no idea that boys 'aren't supposed' to wear nail polish and as I don't give an absolute toss I'm not about to do anything about it. The only thing that annoyed me was the fact that I had no remover in the house (only because I'm too lazy to wear nailpolish not because I have anything against it)!

Kids and kids for such a short amount of time ... I'd like mine to live without lifes stressors including society's expectations of gender norms for just a little bit longer.

[Odessa]

If I end up having a boy he will have long hair (until he wants it cut) and will be able to express himself however he wants - if that means he wants his nails painted, or a Barbie, or a tea set, he'll get it. I don't agree with forcing children into gender stereotypes just because it makes us or society more comfortable. Let kids have their fun, they'll eventually grow out of it and be more sensitive, understanding adults.

[Carmel Jane]

Of course its each to their own, but I think let him have painted nails! I once went out with a guy who secretly loved it, and I would paint them for him, but he was so 'ashamed' he would wear covered in shoes even at the beach.

Its just a bit of colour and kids pick on each other, regardless if its painted nails or a dorky lunchbox. Those mothers should be ashamed of themselves to actually verbally abuse someone for something as harmless as nail polish!

[polony]

My honest opinion? I see absolutely nothing wrong with it. You would think that in this day and age, people are more willing and accepting of others. Plus you can't turn a person gay anyway, they are born that way, so doing this would not be harming him. There is nothing wrong if he decides to be gay anyway, and blaming the nail polish would be ludicrous.

My cousin wears it. It's the "cool" thing to do these days anyway. Very rock star.

I think people need to start thinking outside the square... JMO

[polony]

Frankly, I'd be more concerned if he was more interested in guns.

[Kaycee]

he he, my DS who is 3 wears pink nail polish quite often (when DDs do theirs) and neither he or me have ever had any hassle over it, and I wouln't expect any either.

[Rainbowbrite]

If I end up having a boy he will have long hair (until he wants it cut) and will be able to express himself however he wants - if that means he wants his nails painted, or a Barbie, or a tea set, he'll get it. I don't agree with forcing children into gender stereotypes just because it makes us or society more comfortable. Let kids have their fun, they'll eventually grow out of it and be more sensitive, understanding adults.

YAY! You'll make a great mum :)

I see nothing at all wrong with it. I used to dress my nephews up when they wanted it dont, we also played with dolls & had tea parties. They had their hair done, make up on, nails painted, & used to wear my clothes :eek: They are now well adjusted, sensative guys who are 16 (and gothic, maybe thats my fault :p) & 18 (surfie, builder)

We hope to raise MJ to be socially well adjusted and not stereotyped. Yes I like to dress MJ up like a doll as DH puts it, but she also wears camo print pants (with a hippy top). She has just as many cars as dolls, and i cant wait to get her a tonka truck for her first birthday :D

I agree that if a fuss gets made it'll cause more problems & make the little boy want it more just to "rebel" Just my Honest Opinion

RB

[bronny-jane]

i would be more worried about the kids whos parents where calling your sister a freak, it makes me mad that people are so stupid dont they get that there views on people in society are going to rub of on there kids. i just have to say there lucky i wasnt there if i saw that sort of sh*t happen i would of ripped right into them after the kids had gone. it just makes me angry that they would say it and in front of kids.

[the_queen]

Frankly, I'd be more concerned if he was more interested in guns.

i TOTALLY agree!! I can't see any harm in nail polish, for boys or girls.

[Angelmist♥]

My boys constantly brush my hair, do my make-up and paint my nails and I in turn do theirs.I don't see a problem with it at all.If they ask me I will do it! DH doesn't like it much, but hey if I don't let them they are going to sneak into my stash anyway!When they don't want to anymore then fine, we won't.

I remember doing the same thing with my brother, sister and mum and they are some of my fondest childhood memories.

He's 3 for pete's sake, let him be.

[stilldreaming]

Yes I'm a supporter of the nail polish argument too! I think she is fab for not worrying about what the others are thinking........ they are obviously a small minded group to be worried about nail polish on a little boy!
I say let our children be exactly that......children. They will learn soon enough how sad and fickle our society can be. They should be carefree and experiencing everything that they can.
And also what a fab bonding session between the two of them, quality time with mum and looking funky with the polish!

[our little treasures]

I have four brothers who all had their nails painted by myself or my mum as they were growing up, they are now 18 - 27 and all are perfectly normal guys who don't wear nail polish now. Their boys have nail polish on occasionally, nanna or mummy does it for them..:) I have a son and if he asks which he will I will paint them all different colours!! I don't blame your SIL for not wanting to listen to others opinions, she is a great mummy for obliging her son!!;)

The thing I find horrible in this is that the mothers HATE her... Why is it that mothers isolate other mothers for what and how they parent?? If your nephew is happy and well loved and it sounds like it be happy for him!!:p

[reAllytee]

I cant see a major problem with it in that yes he should be allowed to do what he wants & become what he wants & the likes but id be more worried about the chemicals in it.
Especially if he bites his nails or suck his thumb.
If my bubs wants painted nails fine but i wouldnt have him in it all the time due to this not because of the social standing.

[LuvMyKids]

I can't believe that nail painting would be an issue on a child of this age.

My son (4) and daughter (nearly 2) love painting their nails when I do mine. DS usually uses a different colour for each finger and/or toe. Usually he ends up painting half his finger at the same time. He thinks its fun and DD thinks she is "pretty". It usually stays on until it wears off in it's own time.

I have never had any negative comments regarding this. Most people have a chuckle and think it is cute. I definitely wouldn't be happy if someone labelled me a "freak" because of something that shouldn't even be an issue.

Fun and laughs with your kids are more important than what other people think.

[*Country Bumpkin*]

I raised three kids from ages 4,2 and newborn up until about two years ago. Brock the youngest used to have his nails painted and he is the manlist (spelled wrong i know) little boy you could imagine!!!!

He has 2 older sisters so when id paint their nails he wanted his done too- i dont really see a problem with it to a certain extent anyway! He has turned out fine however i think if its causing problems at day care etc... then maybe he shoul have it taken off before going. I realy dont see a problem with it on the weekends etc.... its a hard one. He will (and i can guanrantee this) grow out of it in his own time. :)

[littlepickle]

I agree, I am more concerned with the dults that would be ready to judge a 3 year old because he wears nail polish!! What is the world coming to? Let kids be kids I say, its not dangerous and they dont get to be young for long enough as it is! I used to paint my little brothers nais when I was young, and when I was older my youngest but one brother always used to steal my makeup - there would be lipstick everywhere - he had a great time, and I might add, he is grown up now and very well adjusted!
A friend of mine buys her little boy dolls and tea sets and a ty ironing board and all of the things that were traditionally for girls - sh said that she doesnt want to pidgeon hole him into a gender stereotype and I whole heartedly agree with her!! I say good on you SIL for not caring about what sme small minded people say - she sounds great and definitely not a "freak" maybe they could all earn something from her!