Sharing The News

[fruitjuice]

Hi, I'm 19 and found out i was pg a month ago. I'm now 8wks pg and I have told my best friend and my partners friend. I've also organised how i'm going to stay at uni this year.

I just can't bring myself to tell my parents. At the moment, we live with them so if they have a bad reaction, we're stuck with it. We can't find a suitable rental property - (they're all horrible!!!) so we're stuck here.

My parents are pretty reasonable, and were pg with me at the same age so i'm hoping it won't be a big deal. But I have so much going for me at the moment, whereas they weren't ambitious like I am. So they'll be upset and worry that i've ruined my chances of becoming a surgeon.

Does anyone have any tips on how to break it to them? Should we all be in one room or should i just tell my mum privately?? Should I act ecstatic or just act emotionless??

I'm really happy about this, i think it's perfect timing for us to start a family. But it's just such a huge, life-changing thing. I don't want to upset my parents. They're so good to me.

[dannii]

im sorry i dont have any fantastic advice for you but i do wish it goes well. i think that maybe you should sit them down together, hopefully go the mature approach might make it easier? im not sure

however i had to tell me sister (who raised me) that i was pregnant at 16. it dodnt go down well!! as u could imagine.. however they do get better and they get just as clucky waiting for the bub to arrive!

good luck!!

[sugar n spice]

Well i fell pregnant at 17 and i pulled mum aside and told her and she told my dad that way she could let him calm down before he spoke to me. By the end of the preg they were all so excited to see there grandson. I can see in a sense why your parents may get up set , i mean wanting to be a surgeon, thats big but you can always put things on hold and only you know when the time is right. sorry i am of no help.

[SassyMummy]

I think it will probably depend on how "grown up" your parents see you as.

I fell pregnant at 18 (nearly 20 now) and I just decided that it was time I told my Mum - she'd probably get more upset if she found out I'd waited a long time to tell her, and the earlier I told her the more support I could get when I actually needed it.

I walked into her bedroom morning and said, "Mum, I think I'm pregnant. Actually, I know I am." We'd talked about what would happen IF it ever happened before hand, so she knew where I stood (I wasn't having an abortion). It was much easier than I had predicted. I think sometimes parents deserve more credit than we give them.

I told my Dad via SMS. He doesn't live with us, and he was the one who was most likely to have a hissy-fit (he'd once FORCED me to go to the dr about going on the pill...and I was on it...for a small amount of time...) about it all. I sent him the message while he was at work so that he'd have time to think about it before calling me. I hoped that by giving him that time, he could get his thoughts together before speaking to me.

He was a bit, "well you're a bit stupid aren't you?" about it...but I was okay with that. Truth was, it WASN'T the best time to be getting pregnant...but when IS the right time exactly? I told him that I believed that I was pregnant at this particular time because I was MEANT to get pregnant at this particular time.

I think my parents were pretty good/reasonable about the whole situation because I was so good about it. I knew what I had to do, and I knew myself. They also knew me - knew that I was grown up enough to make my own decisions and accepted that.

If you're not already seen as an "adult" by your parents...perhaps talk to them as if you are so they can see you more as one than as their "baby girl". I think their perception of you will definately help their reactions to be more positive.

If they're not positive...give them time. Did you freak a bit when you first found out? They have every right to feel the same way.

[cobysmummy]

i was still in year 12 when i found out i was pregnant so it was a bit of a shock...
i told my mum as soon as she came home from work and she was very understanding.. but as soon as i told her i went out...

i didnt tell dad till the next day coz i was so scared but mum said to him helen is pregnant and i was waiting for the worst but he hugged me and said it would be alright...

my bfs parents werent too happy bout it and his mum told me i HAD to have an abortion and my parents and i said no way... i said to her that it is my decision in the end coz its my body and nothing she would say would change my mind...

i could do it on my own if i had to and she said brodie wouldnt have anything to do with it.. i said he was old enough to make his own decisions and he stayed...

when coby was born everything was ok and they love their grandson.. i think it is a shock for parents to find out that their baby is having a baby... and we are young and they are young to be grandparents...

maybe just tell ur mum first and then she can help you tell ur dad... im not too sure of how close you are to either of them.. but i can tell u it is pretty scary but they have to know...

you can put ur studying and career on hold for a year or so...

but everything will work out in the end...

[JenNT]

I think this is one issue all parents think of....what will we do if xyz comes home and says she's pregnant? I know we have talked about it and our daughter is 6 lol

I'm fairly open minded and will accept whatever happens and support our children but i must say i would be quite relieved if she came home and told me this at 19 rather than 16 or 17! I think you will be fine, good luck ;)

JMO cheers Jen

[Maxs_MumMy]

I'm a Believer of "you can have your cake and eat it to":D

If you believe you can get through uni this year then you will!

As for having a baby, Yes there life changing but there's not need to put your life on hold either...you hopes, dreams etc still can come true if you want them to.

So you haven't ruined your chances of becoming a Surgeon at all.:D

I'm quite passionate about this because I do have a 10month old and i am Studying Med and working F/T at the hospital :eek:

When you tell them, be happy, explain your situation, your goals and how you plan to meet them and everything will be A ok!:)

Goodluck!

[shinebrite]

I would just like to say that im not experienced in this but my mum was pregnant with me at 19 her family told her to have an abortion with me i later even found out my father wanted to give me up for adoption! :eek:

my mum later divorced my father (Thank God!!!) and now she is married to a great man, owns her own 2 storey HUGMUNGUS house, and works for the government with welfare and is on a fair wad of $$$ too!

the thing is she was determined while I was growing up she was at uni studying welfare and she use to pick us up EVERYDAY to goto school and drop us home then go back to work cause my father didnt do FA to look after us and when I was old enugh I looked after my brother and sister we r 2 years apart as well so she studied right through havin all of us as her course was like 6 years!

you know what it takes ALL types to make a world and who cares if your parents wont support u or be happy the thing i have learnt with life is we should just live it as it happens, there r NO mistakes when it comes to life cause thats just what was "suppose" to happen

Im sure ur family will be very supportive of you no matter what if they went through it im sure they will b happy in the end.....

[fruitjuice]

You girls are great, i feel much better about this now!!!

I think i'll tell my mum this week, or maybe even today. I'm pretty sure they'll be reasonable about it. I just don't like upsetting them!!!

I think i'll just tell her that DP and i are starting a family this year and reassure her that everything is all planned out so will turn out ok.

It's very inspiring to hear your stories too. Everything turns out ok - and even better! :)

[BubbleBelly]

fruitjuice, just wanted to send you lots of positive vibes! Good luck telling your parents. Be confident and be proud of the decision you've made! Being a mum is amazing.

[fruitjuice]

Argh, i just did it in the car. Probably not the best place. But mum and i were having lunch and she wanted to know why i wouldn't eat the cheese in my sandwhich. She took it really well, but she held my hand and nearly crushed it!! She wasn't HAPPY, but she wasn't unhappy so i'll have to take that as a good thing.

She was just worried about me moving back out of home on government assistance, she thinks it's better i stay at home for a year with DP and then think about it. And i'm not allowed to quit uni. That's the only thing she was concerned about, and that wasn't an option to me anyway!!

Hopefully dad will be ok too!!

Again, thanks for giving me the courage!!

[bekkyboo]

I told my parents over the phone (we live in different states). i was going to tell them at christmas - but thought better of it, becasue they would met up DB for the first time and find all that out at once. I broke it to them in stages. They are happy about it all tho.

I think your best option is to be open and mature about it. If they can see you are mature about it, they wont (hopefully) be so worried about you taking on this next challenge in life. Think positive, and be happy - if you are happy then they will come around.

Birth is a magical thing. I wouldnt trade places with anyone in the world now.

[shed]

Good on ya fruitjuice. I'm glad it went well.

I think the shock gets everyone, its not their actual reaction - that comes later when the shock wears off.

When I told my partner I was pregnant he had to sit down and he was just dazed for a few minutes, and we had been trying!! lol

Besides which, we're old. I always wanted to be ecstatic about it which is why I waited so long.

So if he reacted like that then you can hardly expect miracles from the best of people!!

I think this baby will inspire you to reach even greater heights because its not just for you now.