3 yr old wants to be baby again

[mytwogirls]

My 3yr old had dealt really well with the birth of her sister until just recently- DD2 has just had her 1st birthday. Maybe it was all the attention DD2 got at her Birthday, but since then DD1 has started saying that she doesn't love DD1, and says she wants to hit her (hasn't hit her but has starting pushing her over and prentending it was an accident). DD1 also says that she is still a baby and she has started to act like one. She was fully toilet trained but has now started wetting her pants all the time. I have tried to remain calm about it and not get angry because I think she is doing it to get a reaction. I have asked her why she doesn't go to the toilet anymore and she says "cause that's not fun". It's been two weeks now. I'm not sure whether to put her into pull-ups or not.

I've tried spending extra time with her and doing things she enjoys, thinking that this is all a cry for attention. But it doesn't seem to make any difference.

I've tried doing a star chart and other positive incentives but that worked only for one day (which also made me think that she is doing this on purpose).

Should I take her to the Doctor? I don't want to stress her about it. But there is some small doubt (5%) that maybe she isn't doing it on purpose?

The other thing is that at the same time (and this gets very confusing for me) she wants to do other things for herself and gets really cranky if I try to help her.

Has anyone else been through this and how long did it last?

Thanks for any ideas.

[Chickadee]

My DD, 3.5, is an only child so no sibling rivalries. But she also goes through phases of wanting to be a baby and insisting she doesn't want to get any bigger. She hasn't reverted on her toilet training (thank goodness!) but will insist on being fed or being undressed, when I know perfectly well she can do such things herself. So I think that, in part, it's a stage that many children go through. Maybe it is partly a natural reaction to being encouraged to do so many new things and take on more responsibility for themselves?

good luck.

[Lastcenturymum]

Def sounds like an attention seeking stage. they all go thru it to varying degrees. the fact she wants to do things and not want help shows she is wanting you to see her being grown up and independant, while wanting the attention a younger child gets.

You sound like you are handling it well and with great patience. I don't know what help the Dr would be.

Is there something in child raising books you have?

A know of an almost 5 year old who starting pooing her pants and then hiding them under the bed or putting them back in the cupboard - she had an under 1 year old sibling and an 'interesting' home situation - Dad away a lot with work etc.

I think if you can continue to praise her, encourage her and give her responsibility and make sure others around you and in family don't make more of a fuss of the younger one, then you probably just have to weather this one. I can understand the frustration about the toileting though.

[~Emmylou~]

I don't really have any advice but my DD has been going through a similar thing lately.

DS is ten months old now and we've had no jealousy issues since he was born. But lately she's been insisting that she lie in my arms like a baby to have her milk at night, and that I feed it to her like a baby having a bottle. It's a bit strange but I'm just going along with it for now as I too feel it's an attention thing.

Her little brother has reached alot of milestones lately and has been getting alot of praise and attention from us so I'm thinking that's been the trigger for her - she wants in on the attention deal ;)

It's pretty normal for this age i think.

[mytwogirls]

Well things have improved today!

I pulled out the big gun - the custard tart (her absolute favourite thing). I said that if she kept her undies dry all day then Daddy would bring home a custard tart for her tonight.

I also said that if she didn't go the toilet that tommorow she would have to wear pull-ups.
I did a new star chart this morning and gave her a star every time she went to the toilet (4 so far). It's been working really well.....no wet undies...only problem is that I can't give her a custard tart every day!

At least I know she can still do it, and her not going to the toilet is a choice she is making. Not sure of the next step though....?

Thanks for the replies. It helps just to have someone listening and knowing that others have these problems too.