Need Advice Quickly!

[SweetSerenity]

Okay, some of you may have read my thread yesterday regarding Peters father. If not, I would appreciate it if you did before replying as it relates to that alot (in single parents section).

Well I just received a message from him on my phone saying :


I know you hate me at the moment and I don't blame you. I know the **** thats been going on in my life is affecting Peter and it stops now. If I could I would like to prove to you that and have Pete this friday night and saturday night. I just wanna see my son and not lose that chance.

I don't know what to do. I haven't written back.

If he's not back at his mums I know peter will most definately NOT be staying over as I am not having my son stay at that dump of a house, but if he's at his mums... what do I do??

Should I put my faith in the fact that he may have come to his senses or do I just assume it's a short term thing again.

Please any advice would be appreciated.

[Lirael]

no. sorry but he is a total d!ck and i wouldnt trust him.......

[melfunction]

Don't do it Nat. He needs more than a couple of days to prove his worth.
If he really is that desperate to see Peter, tell him to go to court.

[V8]

I think he's acting like a tool aswell, but i'd still give him the benefit of the doubt, providing you know exactly where he is staying with Peter, if it's with his mum talk to his mum beforehand and even if she allows him to stay with her on weekends when he has Peter but not full-time, and make sure she gives you a report about how he is with Peter.

I'm sure you have already laid down the law with him so to speak, but he really has to listen and make an effort, he is lucky he has access to Peter the way he's been acting.

[angelickaren]

hi nat have read your other post i would not sent him either i was sending my kids to my ex in adelaide as i live on the central coast i have know idea his house was as bad as it was there was mouse poo everywhere even in their beds as i had to go down and clean the house out as me and ex were selling it i even rand DOCS as i was totallay discussed by this and took photos of this and all they said to me was be thankful your sons are getting beaten up or sexual abusied:hair: i was totally gobsmaked they even said that to me
so since then though my lawyer now before every visit his house is inspected by docs.
if you have a bad feeling about the house your ex will be staying in DO NOT SEND HIM

he has had enough chances you need to look out for peter no your ex that is what i have learned the hard way too goodluck :hugs:

[Mahjong]

Not until he can prove that he is a father to Pete during the day... go with your gut instinct Nat. Have daytime visits for a while. Last thing you need your decision backfiring on you.

[greengables]

Not until he can prove that he is a father to Pete during the day... go with your gut instinct Nat. Have daytime visits for a while. Last thing you need your decision backfiring on you.

I agree with this post

[SweetSerenity]

Thanks ladies,

Well I wrote back at first saying that for starters, I am not letting my son sleep over at his friends house and secondly, I wouldn't EVER let peter stay over for 2 nights. I find it hard enough letting peter go for a day and night let alone two nights. I also told him that I'm going to see legal aid regarding visitations as both peter and I don't need his constant let downs and uncertainties.

He replied with:


Mum and I have talked and she is letting me stay. Legal aid is fine, can I be there when you go to legal aid? Well can I have pete for friday night through to saturday late afternoon?

I just wrote back that I'll call him later.

I don't think he should be coming to legal aid with me... once we go to mediation then yes, but not for my first initial visit??

[Mahjong]

No. Dont let him come with you to Legal aid Nat. Mediation yes, but not your solicitor visits.

You are doing the right thing hun.

[Myztik]

I wouldn't let him come to your legal aid appointments. That's what mediation is for. I would be speaking to his mum before you let him go, tell her you want to know how the night goes, if your ex is actually looking after his son or if she is etc etc..

[Mum&bubs]

Nat your doing the right thing sweety :hugs:

I just read your previous thread and what a jerk of a father! I wouldn't be giving him another chance yet because if he's proven to let you and your son down time and time again then he's had his chances before!!

Huge hugs to you hun :hugs:

[Me]

I would talk to his mum before letting Petey stay the night. Ask her to call you immediately if your ex isn't watching Peter properly. She sounds like she's on your side here and just wants what's best for Peter.

I also wouldn't be taking him along to legal aid - that's something that you need to do on your own. I'm sure it'd be uncomfortable for the person you are seeing as well and if they are uncomfortable, chances are they won't be able to give you the best possible advice.

Good luck:hugs:

[Ange&Seth]

I would speak to his mum. Check with her that ex is telling you the truth. If he is still allowed to stay at his mum's and that's where Peter will be, then I'd ask ex MIL to keep tabs on how he is with Pete and let you know at the end how ex was with him. Make your decision from that.

OR

The day time visits only would be another way to go. Actually I'd probably go with that first for a few weeks. He needs to know that he has to prove that he can watch him over night. It doesn't take much to be a father, but it takes someone special to be a dad :hugs: