PDA

View Full Version : Like father, like son



Blueberry Crumble
02-08-2007, 17:36
I know this is an anti-circ document, but I thought some of you would find this interesting in regards to the circumsice to look like Daddy argument. I am genuinely interested as to why people use this argument and think it is justified?

Why do you use this argument? What makes it right for you?

OR

Why wouldnt you use this argument?

"I am very happy for my son that he is natural. Which is more important? Having a penis that looks like mine? Or enjoying the benefits a foreskin provides?
It doesn’t make sense that his foreskin should arbitrarily be cut off just because they did it back when I was born. Routine circumcision is a colossal mistake. The same mistake should not be done to him simply because it was unfortunately done to me. Two wrongs don’t make a right. It’s got to stop somewhere.
All this concern about looking the same -- I think its rare for fathers, sons and brothers to pay much attention to each other’s penises. But if a difference is noticed, the absent foreskin can be so easily explained. They used to think removing the foreskin was necessary. Now they know, it’s not."

"I believe no man would allow his beloved son to be circumcised if he were in touch with the terror he experienced during his own." John Breeding
During the late 1800s, when circumcision was introduced to our culture, people believed that masturbation caused a host of different illnesses. [Remondino] It was concluded that by removing the only moveable part of the penis (the foreskin), sensitivity would be reduced and the desire to masturbate would be minimized. Ironically, as it turns out, circumcised men masturbate more than males intact. [Perlman]
Obviously, most fathers were intact at the time. We were assured the difference between father and son was not a concern. And yet today, one of the most common reasons for circumcision in America is to avoid any difference between them. Routine circumcision has become a purely cosmetic procedure that is totally unnecessary. Many parents think that if they already circumcised their first son, then they have no choice but to circumcise subsequent sons. Read personal stories of parents who didn't have subsequent sons circumcised. (http://circumcision.homepage.com/pwcm.html) If you're a parent who has sons with mixed circumcision status, you can enter your own account there too.
At age 3, my son saw the head of his penis for the very first time. The foreskin had retracted by itself and he discovered it in this condition as he went to the potty. “It’s just like Daddy’s,” he commented immediately, and yet Daddy is circumcised. He is now nearly 5. He has yet to notice that he is different from Daddy. As he gets older, like most kids, he’ll become modest and prefer privacy. I've known of circumcised men who didn't even know until adulthood that their fathers were intact. Some men are unsure as to what their father’s circumcision status is.
Our offspring receive no physical characteristics that are identical to ours. They are a blend of two different people. A child may have eyes similar to his mother's and a nose like his father's. Why, of all things, are we so obsessed with the notion that the rarely exposed genitals of a father and son must be exactly the same? Until a little boy reaches puberty, this is impossible to achieve anyway. The absence of pubic hair will be just as noticeable, if not more so, than the presence of a foreskin.
If a boy notices pubic hair or skin missing from his father's penis, each peculiarity can be explained in a way he’ll understand. Do we manage to simplify why our son's and daughter's genital features are not alike? Certainly. Likewise, we can easily clarify any distinctions between father and son.
If the need arises, parents who chose to keep their son intact can easily explain why he has something his circumcised father does not. "Daddy [and/or your brother] had the foreskin removed in an operation because doctors used to think it was unhealthy. It is actually healthy and necessary, so we chose to leave your natural body alone." To go into more detail, take a look at this information sheet for intact boys (http://www.norharmm.org/wholenews.htm).
As for the 'Locker Room Argument,' either sex is more prone to deliberately avert their eyes from another person's genital area. Staring at someone's private parts is not a comfortable thing to do (outside of a sexual encounter). Today, many males are homophobic. Adolescent males in the locker room certainly don't want to risk being caught looking.
There should be concern for the strong possibility that a circumcised child who experienced complications (http://www.mothersagainstcirc.org/botch.htm) could look unlike anyone. They can end up with a noticeable difference whether they are among natural or circumcised males. These complications can include scarring, discoloration, an adhesion, a skin bridge, a skin tag, or in the case of a bungled circumcision, an obvious disfigurement. Any of these visible differences would be more difficult to explain and could be damaging emotionally, physically and sexually.
Small children being naturally innocent and curious do sometimes look at each other's bodies, noticing little differences, and comparing. If a boy does question why he's uncircumcised, a parent can remove any doubt he has about being intact by talking openly and providing him with information. He can instead be confident that he’s joined the global majority. 82% of the world's living men are intact. In most countries, it is the circumcised boy who is considered different.
In the 1970s, about 85% of America's newborn males were circumcised. Since that time, the rate has dropped significantly. The U.S. is alone in automatically circumcising 63% of its newborn males nationwide. (http://www.mothersagainstcirc.org/majority/htm) Non-religious routine circumcision is expected to continue its decline.
Meanwhile, circumcised boys notice differences too. Some boys who've noticed foreskins have become frightened upon learning that a natural part of their penis was forcibly removed during their infancy. Each have yearned to be like the other. Many circumcised men have reported that they have been teased because they didn't have a foreskin. In a letter to the Intact Network, Oct. 1996, one man wrote, “My lack of a foreskin instilled a deep self-consciousness. I felt I was inferior; I didn’t know why I didn’t have a foreskin, and was absolutely afraid to ask my parents; but well before I entered the first grade, I knew I was missing something.”
Routine Infant Circumcision is not medically necessary. Information verifying this is readily available. "Study provides further evidence that circumcision for non-medical reasons may be a mistake." [Chronicle]
Obviously, boys who are already cut cannot change their circumcision status. Many men who are either unhappy with the results of their circumcisions, or who have learned about the advantages of being intact are investigating or undergoing foreskin reconstruction.
“A recent nationwide survey of adult men which was done by "Men's Confidential" magazine clearly indicates that a significantly higher percentage of adult men who are intact are satisfied with their intact status than circumcised men are with their circumcised status.” [Morgan] More and more men are reporting that they were harmed by circumcision . [Hammond] Some are pursuing foreskin restoration (http://www.4skin.com/chymmylt/).
"The best reason to let a baby keep his foreskin intact is that it's almost a certainty that he will be glad you did." John A. Erickson
[B]Return to Mothers Against Circumcision Homepage (http://www.mothersagainstcirc.org/index.html)
Return to Top of Page (http://www.mothersagainstcirc.org/Like-Son.htm#Top)
References:
Bullough, Vern & Bonnie, edited by, Human Sexuality, an Encyclopedia, Circumcision: Male-Effects Upon Human Sexuality.
Chronicle of Urology & Sexual Medicine, Routine Circumcision Questioned as Prepuce May Have Special Function.
Intact Network Newsletter, Oct. 1996, Derifield, Ken, Editor
Hammond, Tim, Awakenings: A Preliminary Poll of Circumcised Men
Morgan, Donald - Circumcision: The Pros, The Cons, and The Bottom Line, http://www.gepps.com/dmorgan.htm
Perlman, David, Study Finds Circumcised Men More Sexually Adventurous but procedure has no health benefits, San Francisco Chronicle Science Editor, based on a study conducted by the University of Chicago and reported in The Journal of the American Medical Association (1997;277:1052-1057)
Remondino, PC, History of Circumcision from the Earliest Times to the Present. Philadelphia: Davis, 1891. [Republished New York: AMS Press, 1974: 161-82] Last Modification: 7/22/99

leecha
02-08-2007, 17:41
if the son see's his dads penis and see's that it is different he will think there is something wrong i dont think you need a reason to get it done maybe god made a mistake when he made the penis

leecha
02-08-2007, 17:54
oh gee! why shouldnt it be done! i dont want you to say modification of the the body cos tatooing and pircing and cosmetic surgery and all that could be consider the same! and my son wasnt in any pain or discomfort! so you cant use that 1 so i just wanna know wht shouldnt it be done???? sorry if i sound rude

cheezelz
02-08-2007, 17:58
if the son see's his dads penis and see's that it is different he will think there is something wrong

Id rather explain to my son why his penis is different from his dads rather than explaining why it is different then all the little boys he sees in the locker room.

leecha
02-08-2007, 17:58
i try i thought it was funny others didnt seem to laugh i guess it's cos we dont share the same opinon who knows but circ is done very different from how it use to be done

cheezelz
02-08-2007, 18:00
oh gee! why shouldnt it be done! i dont want you to say mutilation of the the body cos tatooing and pircing and cosmetic surgery and all that could be consider the same! and my son wasnt in any pain or discomfort! so you cant use that 1 so i just wanna know wht shouldnt it be done???? sorry if i sound rude

Why not cut off your big toe while your there! Or maybe your ear lobe?
WHY SHOULD YOU DO IT?????

leecha
02-08-2007, 18:01
i think alot more boys will have it done then you think and the only thing that will be asked is when a guy ask a girl what do prefer beanie or helmet no at skool gets teased about that stuff

studyingECS
02-08-2007, 18:03
i must say, it must have been done regularly 15 years ago because when we have conversations at school about it(yes weird i know) all the boys pull a face when some one says they arent circed.

cheezelz
02-08-2007, 18:05
I dont want to get a warning because this is going to fire me up.

I still havent had a decent response to "WHY YOU SHOULD DO IT"???!!!!..besides to look like their fathers becuse I dont think that is a reasonable answer.

leecha
02-08-2007, 18:05
oh ok yeah good one! look i have nothing else to say all i wanted to get across is that if you want to do it then do it dont worry about what others think it is no one else's business why you did it if you dont want it done thats kool too but no one should be bullied into it or into not doing it and i feel like thats what some ladies are doing! i just said the father son thing cos that was in the first post anyways cya



Why not cut off your big toe while your there! Or maybe your ear lobe?
WHY SHOULD YOU DO IT?????

Milliner
02-08-2007, 18:05
There have been many polls on this website alone that suggest on average 75% of males now are not circumcised. So, that only leaves 25% that would be circ.

I just don't get the look like Daddy argument. DS is not done DP is, he would never ever put DS through the pain.

studyingECS
02-08-2007, 18:07
well it wasnt back in the 70s early 90's but what what would i know anyway LOL

cheezelz
02-08-2007, 18:07
There have been many polls on this website alone that suggest on average 75% of males now are not circumcised. So, that only leaves 25% that would be circ.

I just don't get the look like Daddy argument. DS is not done DP is, he would never ever put DS through the pain.

Thank you for the poll results. I think they speak of themselves. :yelclap:

Milliner
02-08-2007, 18:13
Words from a Father (http://www.mothersagainstcirc.org/Like-Son.htm):

"I am very happy for my son that he is natural. Which is more important? Having a penis that looks like mine? Or enjoying the benefits a foreskin provides?
It doesn’t make sense that his foreskin should arbitrarily be cut off just because they did it back when I was born. Routine circumcision is a colossal mistake. The same mistake should not be done to him simply because it was unfortunately done to me. Two wrongs don’t make a right. It’s got to stop somewhere.
All this concern about looking the same -- I think its rare for fathers, sons and brothers to pay much attention to each other’s penises. But if a difference is noticed, the absent foreskin can be so easily explained. They used to think removing the foreskin was necessary. Now they know, it’s not."

GraceUnhearing
02-08-2007, 18:22
if the son see's his dads penis and see's that it is different he will think there is something wrong i dont think you need a reason to get it done maybe god made a mistake when he made the penis


oh gee! why shouldnt it be done! i dont want you to say mutilation of the the body cos tatooing and pircing and cosmetic surgery and all that could be consider the same! and my son wasnt in any pain or discomfort! so you cant use that 1 so i just wanna know wht shouldnt it be done???? sorry if i sound rude


DS is NOT done and DF IS done!
just cause he dad is done IS NOT a good enough reason to [alter] his PERFECTLY NORMAL penis!

why does it need to be cut off?
give me one goos reason that it should be?

leecha
02-08-2007, 18:29
i have already said i will no longer be posting in here as i do not want a warning! i never said it was a good reason that is what the first post said i wrote to that i did not get my son done for that reason one good reason is i now know he wont need done when he is older if something where to go wrong! but just one question you dont like what i have done and prob feel hates towards me foe tose of you whose partners are done do you hate there parents

cheezelz
02-08-2007, 18:41
i have already said i will no longer be posting in here as i do not want a warning! i never said it was a good reason that is what the first post said i wrote to that i did not get my son done for that reason one good reason is i now know he wont need done when he is older if something where to go wrong! but just one question you dont like what i have done and prob feel hates towards me foe tose of you whose partners are done do you hate there parents

So many responses to this I dont know where to start! All I can say is education is the key!

leecha
02-08-2007, 18:45
education on circ i have as much as you do and i do not need a reason to get it done! you dont like it fair enough but dont judge me as a mother please! good nyt ladies:wave:

my_lot
02-08-2007, 19:40
You know, I have never ever heard a pro-circ give a reasonably justified reason as to why they circ. .

how about religion is that a valid reason to you?

oh hold on...why should the reason some one gives for their child circ'd be a valid reason to you?

i think "because i wanted to" is a valid reason. to the parent of the child it is and thats all that matters, really.

its the parents choice to make all decisions about their childs health til the child is old enough to make the choice for themselves. im sure a lot of parents have made medical choices on behalf of their child that they regret, cant undo, should have got a second (or more) opinion on or they are happy with the result....these children may very well grow up and not agree with that choice or just not give it a second thought...and they in return will do what they think is right for their family.

OscarTheGrouch
02-08-2007, 19:41
There have been many polls on this website alone that suggest on average 75% of males now are not circumcised. So, that only leaves 25% that would be circ.

That would probably be equivilant to national statistics I would assume. In saying that, of all my friends that have boys, 95% of them have had their sons circumcised. My boys are not done so they are not like their Father. Even though my DH has no problems with himself being circ'ed, he prefers it, he refused to have our sons done as he felt it was cruel.

melfunction
02-08-2007, 19:44
if the son see's his dads penis and see's that it is different he will think there is something wrong i dont think you need a reason to get it done maybe god made a mistake when he made the penis

God actually made a mistake??? What god?

What is the world coming too? :eek:

Tea Lady
02-08-2007, 19:46
Closed for cleaning.

xkwzit
02-08-2007, 20:23
I am going to reopen this thread for one more chance. However, we have had to delete many off topic posts. The OP asked opinions on circing for the reason of looking like Dad.

If this thread does not stay on this topic it will be closed for good. Further off topic posts may attract infractions and warnings.

Cheers

Roxy
02-08-2007, 20:27
It's not an argument that we will use when (if!) we ever have to explain to our son why we chose not to have him done.

Why? Because for us, it isn't a valid reason to have had him done.

Ange&Seth
02-08-2007, 20:38
I never use/d this as a reason.

Neither of my nephews are done because they're in Tassie and no doctors there will perform the procedure - they would have to fly to Melbourne for counselling and then again to have the procedure performed. My brother is done (don't know about my BIL :laughing: ) but his son is not. I think if daddy looks different and son asks why, then tell him, explain it to him in words he will understand.

Areca
02-08-2007, 20:50
Dh doesn't know if his dad is or isn't done. Granted his parents divorced when he was 6 and his mum didn't allow him to see him much but he did live with him for 2 years from when he was 8 and he has no idea.
I was talking to a woman the other week and DH mentioned circumcision (it was completely off topic). I don't know if her (early teenager) son is done or not but she said that what she has noticed is that they don't care what their dad looks like, they want to look like their friends cause apparently peeing competitions up a wall (person who can be the highest wins) are the in thing to do and their penis's are all on show. Thought it was interesting and made me glad we've only got girls so far :laughing:

Ange&Seth
02-08-2007, 20:52
they want to look like their friends cause apparently peeing competitions up a wall (person who can be the highest wins) are the in thing to do and their penis's are all on show. Thought it was interesting and made me glad we've only got girls so far :laughing:

:laughing: now that is the funniest and most valid opposition to this reason/excuse :thumbsup:

my_lot
02-08-2007, 20:53
do boys really notice there dads willy end?

my dp is NOT cut but his f/skin is ALWAYS retracted- so looks circd. ds is 5 he often showers with dp and has never asked why his willy looks different. he is NOT cut either and even tho it retracts he 'looks' uncut. his f/skin has retracted from birth and this is one of two medical reasons he was not circd as planned.


only thing he has said is "daddy has a big willy and i have a widdle one"

Mummy2Noah
02-08-2007, 21:00
Id rather explain to my son why his penis is different from his dads rather than explaining why it is different then all the little boys he sees in the locker room.

This is quiet a huge statement to make when considering weather or not to circ my son i asked 15 different mothers that had babies around the same time i did if they did or were getting there sons done 2 of the 15 said no!!! So i dont no weather its Broken Hill but here 13/15 boys are done here!!!!So that and my hubby being done was enough of a reason to get it done and i dont feel one bit guilty!!!

studyingECS
02-08-2007, 21:03
they want to look like their friends cause apparently peeing competitions up a wall (person who can be the highest wins) are the in thing to do and their penis's are all on show.


haha you would be surprised that is true :laughing:

Areca
02-08-2007, 21:08
:laughing: now that is the funniest and most valid opposition to this reason/excuse :thumbsup:

I thought it was pretty valid coming from someone who has a son at the age of being teased (if they actually do...DH says he was never teased for not being done), and it made me :laughing: when she told me but it is kinda gross too! I think I prefer them writing their names with their pee or something!

Mummy2Noah - Valid point. I remember circ being bought up when I did my ante-natal classes with DD1 and the educator was saying how it is uncommon where we live but she said if you go to other areas it can still be quite common for boys to be done. She seemed to think it was the more outback areas that still had the higher %.




Regardless (this isn't aimed at anyone)....I don't think having your son circumcised to look like anybody (peers or father) is a valid reason. I wouldn't alter my daughter in any way so she looked like me or so she'd look like her friends. It would be pretty sexist of me to think differently just cause I gave birth to a boy.

Areca
02-08-2007, 21:10
haha you would be surprised that is true :laughing:

There you go...someone else that can back that up! I was like :eek: when she told me!

studyingECS
02-08-2007, 21:11
yeah its pretty gross but yeah it happens all the time LOL

my_lot
02-08-2007, 21:16
ah yep that was happening 30 odd years ago too.

my brother and cousin had a p!ssing comp near and electric wire fence. brother won and cousin got mad.


ended in brother with sore willy and in tears!

Beany
02-08-2007, 21:19
Why should the unconsenting, voiceless person have to go through with the surgery? If daddy is so insecure about his penis that he needs validation from an outside source (namely his son), why doesn't he go and get reconstructive surgery?

What if daddy had a toe missing? Should the son's toe be excised to match daddy lest he asked questions?

Surely the better approach would be to say "that's because daddy was cut as a child but we don't need to do that to you because you are perfect just as you are".

shed
02-08-2007, 21:23
No matter how many parts we cut off our baby he will never look just like Daddy.

Daddy has brown eyes, bubby has blue eyes.

Daddy has a chopped off end of his finger from an accident at work, bubby has all of his fingers perfectly intact.

um, what else? oh yes, Daddy had his foreskin removed without his consent as an infant, bubby did not.

So many differences. Because bubby is his own little person, not a clone of his father.

Ange&Seth
02-08-2007, 21:24
Surely the better approach would be to say "that's because daddy was cut as a child but we don't need to do that to you because you are perfect just as you are".

Although saying this implies that Daddy isn't/wasn't perfect and so that was the reason he was cut :p

But you make a valid point Beany, why stop at the foreskin, what about that big toe as well?

While I don't think it's a valid reason for ME to have circumcised DS, I also don't need to have any of my reasons validated in the circ section of a parenting forum :D

shanz
02-08-2007, 21:58
Well said Ange.
I really think the best thing to do is get as much non biased info as possible, and always check the sources. Find someone you trust to ask questions and from there as a parent make the most informed and best choice for you.
You shouldnt need to argue your point or justify it to anyone else.

What some people dont realise is that they are no different to anyone else and they had the freedom to chose what they do, so why shouldn't everyone else get that choice.

All that matters is that you make the best and most informed choice you can and rest assured with that.

OJandMe
02-08-2007, 22:10
Hmmm..

My DH is circed and doesn't care two hoots about it.

The boys are circed and I'm pretty sure they're not going to care two hoots either when they grow up.

And personally.. I much prefer a circed penis.. as Elaine from Seinfield says... "You can see their faces. They have more personality" :laughing:

Beany
02-08-2007, 22:14
Although saying this implies that Daddy isn't/wasn't perfect and so that was the reason he was cut :p

I'm sure daddy's pride can handle that :p

And if there is a "why", then I would tell him why: it was a thing done back then that was popular but not necessary.

It's a talk I face should my son catch a glimpse of his cousins' willy.

mysonroger
02-08-2007, 22:23
This is quiet a huge statement to make when considering weather or not to circ my son i asked 15 different mothers that had babies around the same time i did if they did or were getting there sons done 2 of the 15 said no!!! So i dont no weather its Broken Hill but here 13/15 boys are done here!!!!So that and my hubby being done was enough of a reason to get it done and i dont feel one bit guilty!!!

i don't think its a huge statement to make, because i have heard before that in broken hill, people get their sons circ. as a matter of routine, but maybe you don't realise that the majority of australia has moved forward with regard to circumcision, and that broken hill is not representative of the australian population.

studyingECS
02-08-2007, 22:26
why is circumcision always debated,? and this is a serious question because i guess i have know idea why and i am ineducated about it

mysonroger
02-08-2007, 22:30
Hmmm..

My DH is circed and doesn't care two hoots about it.

The boys are circed and I'm pretty sure they're not going to care two hoots either when they grow up.

And personally.. I much prefer a circed penis.. as Elaine from Seinfield says... "You can see their faces. They have more personality" :laughing:

so if your DH didn't care about it, then why did your sons get done...if he doesn't care, then why would he care about going through all the bother of getting two boys done...and you think if they won't care, then why would they want it done?

or did you get them done for you, because you prefer to look at a circ. penis......:confused:

Seekrit
02-08-2007, 22:33
Circucision is debated because it is.. basically, genital surgery. It used to be routine and expected, but through research it's been found to be something that's unnecessary ROUTINELY (there are times that it has it's medical place) and quite a painful process.

Female Genital Circumcision is outlawed in a lot of countries, and certainly not accepted.

studyingECS
02-08-2007, 22:35
Circucision is debated because it is.. basically, genital surgery. It used to be routine and expected, but through research it's been found to be something that's unnecessary ROUTINELY (there are times that it has it's medical place) and quite a painful process.



thanks for answering my question:D

studyingECS
02-08-2007, 22:40
oh ok, i dont really have an oppinion on it, well i do but it an uneducated one so yeah.....:)

mum2littleman
02-08-2007, 22:51
i didnt get my son done, and if he ever asks why i will tell him that it is not my choice to change His body if he wants it done he can have done when his older enough to make up his own mind- ..

i believe who am i to change my sons body i am his mother i am NOT HIM.

But then again i guess each to there own ever mother has a diffrent reason.:rolleyes:

secondtimearound2
02-08-2007, 23:03
DH is done...........but no this is not what we based our decision on..............it did contribute tho iykwim.

Maybe people should concentrate on the original post rather then questioning others decisions. Bubhub is a supportive cyber community...........let's keep it that way.

xkwzit
03-08-2007, 11:29
We have again drifted off topic and i think this thread has progressed as far as it can. Thanks to everyone who contributed in a positive manner.

Cheers