number 4

[Crazy Bananas]

I would just like to know if when you annouced you were having baby number 4 if people were happy for you or just put you down. just like to know what i may be in for.I think i maybe pregnant with number 4. I quite sick of defending myself about having 3 children :no: .
Any advice would be welcome.

[punkbaby]

When you do find an answer feel free to let me know I am astounded at the look on peoples faces when i am out with just dd and (obviously pregnant) someone will say oh whens number 2 due, i pay my belly and say Ohh this is number 4....there smile quickly drops! I even get worse looks when i had dhs son (his 14 and we have him fortnightly) and they see i have 4 kids and one on the way.

Wish people would keep their dirty looks to themselves or not look at all, or say anything for that matter!

Your not the only one....I have had the old "oh wow your going again isnt three enough" this is from family...."how will you school them?" Oh they will go public why do you ask??? Cant see the point in spending 20k a year for schooling really can you?

This soon shuts them up :)

Good luck with your pregnancy

[Crazy Bananas]

Thanks for your reply. Not sure if pregnant or not yet still have 11 days till testing. Just getting a few symptoms. I'm more worried about peoples rude comments than the thought of having number 4

[punkbaby]

Dont let it bother you you have to learn to just turn a blind eye to it :) watch everyone coo when the baby comes its forgotten then

good luck

[anscje]

I'm really sorry that your feeling worried about what people say.

I'm on the opposite scale to you, where I only have 1 DS and we are not having anymore and I get the same looks from people when they ask when the next one is coming and I say "there isn't going to be a next".

It's quite sad that people no matter how many children you have always try to put a negative on things.

I think it's lovely if someone has just one child, or has 10!

No matter what they say ignore them and enjoy your pregnancy and your children :hugs:

[punkbaby]

wouldnt it be nice if people just shut their mouth sometimes anscje :) bottom line is we have as many kids as we want to wether it be 1 or 10.....because WE want too, not becuase it suits them LOL wish they would work that out

[busymummyof4]

Ready girls!!

Well I've just got home from taking the children out to get a couple of DVD's and some takeaway. Big job with 2 dtrs and a set of twins.

Anyway, en route, I pass a policeman on his motorbike and after two turns, I get pulled over. I'm thinking maybe RBT - oh no, apparently I had my fog lights on. I didnt know, my DD2 had been playing in the car and I did ask her to stop but in the meantime, she has turned on the fog lights. Anyway, what a rude rude man. I explained that I was very sorry I had no idea they were on and that my DD must have switched the switch accidentally. He spat back "well you'd put your kids seat belt back on if they took it off".. Yeah so!! And the point being?? He stands there and then whilst I have my window down and mozzies swarming the car, he looks around the car, looks in the back where I have 3 little faces staring out innocently and one more in the front and says "geez you got a lotta kids there and they look close in age". I spat back (yep not happy at all by now) and said two were twins!! DUHHH!!
He then (and this is where I nearly really let him have it) said "guess you've figured out what's causing that then". What an absolute D"""Head. I tell you if I wasnt worried about getting a fine, or using expletives in front of my kids, I would have been quite rude in reply. Maybe he hasn't been blessed with such wonderful things in life!!

[busymummyof4]

Hmmm I hope my thread was relative to the fact that people (officers of the law included) quite often have no way of hiding their distaste for people that choose a large family. I felt like a low grade citizen instead of a good mum taking my children out for a much earnt treat.

I'm thinking of writing a letter to the paper BTW!

[MummyCharmzy]

ppl can be SO rude! when I fell preg with #4 we got quite a lot of rude comments, more so as #3 was only 12 weeks old when we concieved #4. Strangely enough though MOST people are quite happy and supportive knowing that we are trying for #5.

If im on my own out and about with all the children I do get stares and rude comments but such is life.... if my family is happy thats all that matters :D

[Tingles]

Our #4 is 1 week old today!!!

People used to say - don't you have a television? DH said next time someone says that I'm gonna say - yes, but yo gotta do something during the ad breaks :laughing: fortunatley, next time didn't happen:p

I am sick of people asking if we are going to have anymore!!!

I have decided I will now say - we planned 4, but if we get any more it will just be an added bonus...

Dh says no more, but with at least 10 years of fertility left you just never know!:D

[3TinLids]

I was very nervous about telling people we were pregnant with No.4. Even though it was planned. Surprisingly, most people even though a bit surprised were quite supportive. Still get the odd "don't you know what causes it comment though". If you are happy then don't worry about other people!

Good luck

Rebecca :thumbsup:

[Tingles]

Oh and another 'lovley' comment I got from an aqauintance (in the last week of my pregnancy).... 'you're pregnant, you've got to stop breeding'....

I guess she was TRYING to be funny? I just smiled:rolleyes:

Alot of people didn't acknowlege the birth of our 3rd baby... these relative all have max 2 kiddies... I just said to my husband, I guess we have exceeded our '2 child' quota:laughing: :p ;)

[mrsd]

As someone who is fortunate enough to be having no. 7 (hubby and I differ slightly on this point!), I wondered what people would say to me - maybe that's what he was worried about, too.

Generally, people in our community know us pretty well and, what ever they may say in private, they've been pretty nice to my face with lots of "I don't know how you do it - I struggle with 1/2"s etc. A couple have tried the old "Don't you have a TV / know what's causing it?" etc but it tends to be older men more, I've found.

When people comment on how many kids we have, I usually say "Aren't I blessed ?" and I've found that it's been the most effective method of stopping negative comments I've tried. People don't seem to want to rain on your parade too much so if you appear positive and upbeat, they're too scared to say anything derogatory.

Good luck, though - if you are having no. 4, that's wonderful. You'll be an experienced mum so your little one will have a better-than-average chance of doing okay, in my opinion. And I've foudn that they get better as you go - or you're so experienced that nothing throws you ! Either way, I hope everything turns out for you.

NB. When you look at the no. of poor folk who are attempting IVF for one child with limited success, we ARE blessed!