angry sister

[bronny-jane]

o.k this could get long, my brothers girlfriend is p**sing me off. she is a selfish cow. they have 2 kids and another on the way. the problem, when her first was 2 months old she left him and my brother saying she couldnt handle having a baby, and started slepping around. when her new boyfriend left her she came crying back to my brother who took her back. then she got pregnant with her daughter and about 2 weeks after she was born she took off again. this time though she was claiming benefits for the baby and told my brother that she would take both of them if she got her pay cut, so he let her do it. my brother is 26 and looks after the 2 all day everyday, they made an arrangement that she was supposed to have care of her daughter and for 1 day a fortnight look after her son as well. well that hasnt happend 1 year later, she takes off for the day and so my mother looks after them to give him a break. any way a few months ago she found out she was pregnant and she not to sure who the father is but told my brother its his, after telling a few other guys the same thing. he has taken her back again, she yelled to her son right in the face that she hates him and he has ruined her life, and she doesnt help with the children.
am i just being an idoit, should i just let this keep happening. my brother knows how i feel, but he just wants his family to be together.
just needed to get that out. thanks

[Puk]

Omg, how old is this girl? She seems very young and immature to me.

The same sort of thing happened in my family except it was my father who took off every time mum popped out a kid! After my little sister was born though he never came back and we were all much better for it! Mum had it tough raising four kids on her own but it was certainly preferable to us being subjected to him!

Only your brother can make this decision though, you can only be there to guide him and help out wherever you can. I hope it works out for him! :)

[bronny-jane]

she is 21, i think she just wants money.

[angcaltam]

She sounds like a real piece of work. Your brother might want the family to be together but at what cost? He has to think of the kids, and how it is affecting them. They are the ones that will suffer the most, especially if she is yelling in their faces and saying really hurtful things to them.
Just be there to support him and the kids, and let him know that you are always there to talk if he needs you.
Good luck and let us know how he goes.

[Ana Gram]

If she is doing that sort of thing while your brother is around, what was she doing when he wasn't there? Unfortunately he is kind of stuck

[Baby Girl]

I think you have to assume your brother is mature enough to understand the situation he is in. He knows your opinion and i'm sure everyone else's but it is him who has to make the decision about his relationship with her. It can't be easy on the kids but he has to realise that (maybe you could mention it gently). Be there to support him but remember he is an adult and the only person who can make decisions for him and his brood is HIM.

[DB&O]

Hi,
I really feel for you, it must be so hard watching your brother & family be treated this way but I agree with the other bubhubbers, all you can do is make sure he knows you will be there for him & the kids. I do think though that she needs a good talking to, no one has the right to yell in their childs face, the damage that is done emotionally, could last a lifetime, all kids deserve to grow up knowing that they are loved, wanted & special. She needs to wake up to herself & decide to either be in her kids lives in a positive way or not, she can't have her cake & eat it too. This is only my opinion of course & you need to do what you can to support him.

[Fairyfloss]

thsi is a hard position to be in, but I dn't get it if your brother is looking after the kids, should she be paying child support?, how could she say
"she would take both of them if she got her pay cut" and getaway with it?
does that mean she is getting paid for "not" looking after the kids?:mad: , does your brother has total legal custody of the kids, perhaps, you guys can treaten her that sh emight lose her visiting rights cause of her negligance and abuse manners ( I am not sure if it will legally work, but nevertheless you can try it)

anyway, good luck to you and your brother, he sounds like a really nice guy, good on you for sticking by him.:)

[bronny-jane]

she is claiming parenting payment for tamara, they dont have a legal custody arrangement, although he should but he doesnt want to make her mad, poor guy is in love with her, thats why he puts up with whats been happening. i know he is old enough to make up his own mind about it, and both of them no exactly how i feel, its sad that he is willing to cut off his family (were really close, best mates) for her. he wasnt even going to come to my wedding casue i didnt invite her. but they broke up a week b4 so he came. i just want him to be happy, he deserves it a lot of guys would have just walked out on everthing but not him, i respect him for that

[caitsmum]

Your brother sounds pretty amazing. I hope that one day he sees her for what she really is and is able to get some legal help to formalise custody arrangements. A fairly similar situation happened to a cousin of mine many years back. He is a fantasitic dad and now has custody of his 4 kids and has married a lovely girl with 2 kids. They are a great family to be around - lots of positive vibes and fun. He always stuck by his kids with his old girlfriend even when he didn't know if he was the father or not. Those kids really respect him now and always will. I hope that things sort out for your brother soon and he is able to meet someone one day how appreciates what a great dad/partner he can be.