Beating isolation when living overseas?

[Lastcenturymum]

Just wondering how others dealt with it?

I'm a very outgoing person and used to having heaps of people around me and had heaps of activities I was involved in when home.

I think I'm doing pretty well, met some great girls on the weekend and nice to chat and laugh with them.

But Mondays when my hubby goes to work I feel very lonely as I do the washing, ironing etc! I get out every day and do something, even if only to the shops and people there are really chatty. I've joined the gym, but there is no one my age there, 'older' people just don't do gym in this country!! I have also joined the library. There is another Aussie who came over about the same time and she has a 10 month old. We get together once or twice a week for a chat and walk and find it helpful to chat about how we are adjusting to living here.

I probably won't work as I will be travelling back home a bit to visit family etc. Also being 'summer; here:laughing: a lot of things are in recess due to the holidays.

I really value anytime I find someone to chat to and probably find Monday's harder cos the weekends have been people filled!

Also my hubby worked from home at home, so I miss him even more too!

The internet is great, but it's not just the same as face to face conversation, is it?

[Mammy]

I feel your pain lastcenturymum.
I moved to Australia 2 years with my DH and knew nobody here. Like you I had lots of friends, a busy social life and a large family back home. Since arriving here my social life has been nil. I havent met any new people apart from my work mates, so its just me and DH hanging out together. Its so hard to meet new people at our age.
Im having my first bub in October and am hoping to meet a few mums through playgroups, etc.
I dont have any advice im afraid, just letting you know that your not alone.

Im assuming your in the UK? What part?

[Africamum]

It can be really hard adjusting.

One of the advantages in our situation is that hubby and I actually spend more time together. In Australia we both worked on separate mines so we only spent our breaks together and normally I would drive to his mine on a Saturday night.

Now DH comes home for lunch everday and is normally home from work by 6. I spend the last year as the only non working person on a remote mine in Tanzania, I actually enjoyed it. I was mentally prepared for being isolated. I find it a bit difficult now that we are living in a small community again because I got used to being independant.

The internet is great and without it I probably would have gone insane.

Although when my husband is away I do tend to feel very lost also. I think you learn to rely on your partner more than what we would otherwise do under normal circumstances.

[Lastcenturymum]

Thanks guys (well, gals really!)

I'm in Ireland, Dublin, so they are very friendly here. I try and string out conversations as much as possible!! But yeah, its the deep stuff I miss. I'm lucky that I will be travelling home 3 times a year but I still want to feel like 'belong' here if you know what I mean.

Yes, good friendships take time, don't they? I saw an osteopath here who is an Aussie and she's been a wealth of advice and said the same thing, it takes a long time to make friends. I think I will have them around for dinner as we have a lot in common (people we know back in Oz) I just love that half hour with her of chatting!

Also my husband leaves early for work, so I tend to be asleep, hence it can be the end of the day before I talk with him, though I can phone him at work. he's very good in suggesting we meet for lunch or coming home early, he has the flexibility. Our relationship is very strong and we talk about everything, so that is great. He's gone out of his way to make the transition easy.

Nice to chat with others who are in similar situations though! I will be fine. I'm a tough old bird:laughing:

Had coffee with my friend today and we are going walking tomorrow then its a long weekend! I'm off to the UK next weekend for a week to help a girlfriend at a conference so I will meet heaps of people there and then she comes at the end of August for 4 days.

Sorry to ramble! *blush*

[Mammy]

Ah, so your in my home country LCM! Im so jealous!
Is your DH Irish?
I know the summer there has been horrendous, my mum said it recently rained for 9 weeks straight :eek: Hello, its supposed to be summer!
Makes it harder to get out and about to meet people doesnt it.
The weather was the main reason that i left. Its just wet and cold for soooo long, gets quite depressing.
Well at least your starting to meet some people. It will take time. Ive been here 2 years and still have no real friends :crying:
Hopefully when bub arrives i will get to meet a few more mums.

[Lastcenturymum]

Thanks for your reply - just saw it!

Yes that's where I am! No my hubby is Australian, they got a business deal with an Irish company and one of his partners has lived here for 3 years anyway.

Yes, its summer eh?!!! SO much rain, the locals are always apologizing for it!Apparently the worst for 40 something years. Just my luck!:laughing: A couple of nice days last week though, I went to the 'beach' and sat there reading. Yesterday was pretty good too, I went into the city and sat in St. Stephen's Green for a while and pottered about shops. It's good to get out and about.

I am not looking forward to winter and the long grey! Being home at Christmas then back here will be rather depressing I think, but oh well, gotta make the most of the opportunity I guess. Probably only for 2-3 years.

And yes, a bub is a great way to meet people.