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alicesmum
01-02-2006, 22:23
Just doing a little bit of Internet research on the teachings about motherhood in Buddhism (as you do, when you should really be doing more productive things). Thought I’d share:

The Mother in Buddhism
From Anthony Flanagan, Guide to Buddhism.

"Throughout the world, the role of the mother is given special prominence one day each year. Which month of the year it is varies from country to country. For example, in England Mothers’ Day is in March, in the US it is in May, and in Thailand it is in August. The timing is unimportant. What is significant is that it is a day when we take time to show our appreciation for someone who is very special in our lives.

The Buddha did not have the opportunity of knowing his own mother, Mahamaya, for she died a week after giving birth to him. The maternal care came instead from Mahaypajapati, his mother's sister. To what extent this affected his childhood it is for psychologists to surmise! From what we can gather from the Scriptures, the Buddha's childhood seemed to have been a relatively happy one free of family traumas.

Buddhism has some very significant things to say about the mother in that she embodies human qualities of the highest order - selflessness, giving and devotion to others.

The mother carries us in her own body for nine months, gives birth (and the pain that that entails) and spends the rest of her life caring for us. Even in her old age, the mother never ceases to think about her children. Buddhism emphasises that it is not possible to ever repay the kindnesses bestowed upon us by our mothers.

There is also the idea in Buddhism that in our previous lives we have been the mother of all those who we come into contact with. Whether this is taken literally or metaphorically depends on the tradition. Nonetheless, it seems to be quite a startling claim and its significance lies most of all in the way this idea guides our thinking about how we perceive others. Cherishing others - whoever they are - and developing loving-kindness (or metta) towards all beings is a key Buddhist virtue.

The Bodhisattva (or saintly) ideal in Mahayana Buddhism is about adopting these maternal qualities. The Bodhisattva - out of compassion for the suffering of others - aims to help other beings out of their suffering, postponing his/her own entry into Nirvana. One of the key female Bodhisattvas in this respect is Kuan Yin, the embodiment of compassion.

The Metta Sutra - one of Buddhism's most highly regarded Scriptures - is also significant. In it are to be found the following lines: "Just as a mother would protect her only child at the risk of her own life, cultivate a boundless heart towards all beings". This 'boundless heart' is what mothers have in the way they look after and nurture their children. What Buddhism asks us to do, is to first develop this within ourselves more fully and then to extend it to others, whoever they may be".


I also found this quote from one of the other Scriptures, which I particularly liked (since I am due to have a baby boy in June):

"A mother gazing on her baby boy,
Is thrilled in every limb with holy joy." :D

SugarBlossom
01-02-2006, 22:54
Thanks for sharing that:)

How did you "become" a buddhist, so far everything I have seen and read about buddhism seems to suit me to a tee ( and I can't disagree with anything I have read so far!;) )...just not sure where to start.

If you could share that with me, I'd really appreciate it:)

Jazz

reAllytee
01-02-2006, 23:27
One word .... wow :D

alicesmum
02-02-2006, 09:30
hey little buddha baby

i just started reading books. some were great, others not so easy to understand. a couple that come to mind that worked for me were:

Happiness in a Material World (forget the authors)
Everyday Zen (Charlotte Beck)
No Boundary (Ken Wilber)
Awakening the Buddha Within (Lama Suyra Das)

There is a large section on Buddhism in "Borders" bookstore in the city (Brisbane) in the religion/spirituality section. Love it!!! (I buy books instead of clothes!!!)

Then I searched http://www.buddhanet.net/aus_dir/baorgs.htm for some centres/groups near me and went along to different things until i felt like I had found the right group of people (sangha) and teacher for me. Finding a teacher who has been travelling the path for a long time is the most important part in all the buddhist traditions. once you have a good 'ne, you are really set, as they will help, assist and counsel you through your practice and how to apply it to your life. this has been invaluable to me, especially since becoming a mother! :p

after 2-3 years of practising meditation with them and reading on my own time etc, a few of us took the 5 precepts for lay people in a formal ceremony where all my bad karma was extinguished, supposedly (hahahahaha!!! ;) ). But from what i have experienced and heard other people say, you call yourself 'buddhist' if and when you feel ready or right about it. a friend of mine is doing a PhD in Buddhism and regularly attends buddhist retreats, teaches yoga, is very spiritual, but never calls herself "Buddhist" or uses any label. Labels are a bit of a sticking point (hahaha!) in Buddhism, as you will find the more you get into it. I only use it for the sake of convenience. Most Western buddhist teachers have come from a different background (usually christianity) so are very echumenical (sp?) taking teachings from all the great traditions.

hope that helps, kinda!!! :)

Saraswati
04-02-2006, 10:01
The message in 'the mother in buddhism' makes so much sense to me - ie cultivating loving kindness towards all beings. Seems to me that all religions are trying to get this message across - when you cut through all the misinterpretations and dogma and bull****. Wouldn't life be pleasant if everyone just focused on 'loving kindness' and stopped worrying about which religion is right or wrong.

alicesmum
05-02-2006, 10:25
Wouldn't life be pleasant if everyone just focused on 'loving kindness' and stopped worrying about which religion is right or wrong.

hey pippy :)
there was a whole other thread on right and wrong in religion a while back, but don't go there!!!!!!! :)

i quite agree with you. the true mystics of all religions have understood the words but then gone beyond them, beyond the dogma. it has been said many times that the great mystics of all religions probably have more in common with one another than with their own 'organised' religion. people who are stuck in the dualism of 'right and wrong' still have a way to go IMHO. :p

bella'sbub
05-02-2006, 10:43
Thanks so much alicesmum,
I'm a buddhist too. Have you read Buddhism for mothers by Sarah Napthali? I seriuosly think this is the best book I have ever read about dharma cos she talks about being time poor re: meditation and dealing with anger from buddhist mum's perspective, also could be a good place to start for any one interested in buddhism
anyway thanks.

alicesmum
05-02-2006, 13:56
hey bella
great to meet you! :p welcome to bubhub. you are in brunswick heads i see? is there a centre/temple down there that you visit?

yes, my own mother bought me a copy of Buddhism for Mothers when I had Alice. It really is a great book, especially as an introduction to buddhism. so easy to read! what are some other favourite books of yours?

hope to see you around bubhub more often!!!

rachel :)

Saraswati
05-02-2006, 18:26
Buddhism For Mothers is such a great book, I'm always re-reading it. Also recently read 'Buddhism for Busy People' which was a pretty good intro to Buddhism. Can't remember the author... Can anyone suggest any other good ones?

jarrahsmumma
05-02-2006, 19:00
"Buddhism for Busy People" is written by David Michie. I second it, it is a good introduction to buddhism. I like the books written and co written by HH Dalai Lama. ;) His wisdom is amazing.

alioop
06-02-2006, 09:36
Hi everyone

I've just registered with bubhub. Never been in a chat formum before! :o I work as an assistant for a parenting mag and am doing some research for an article I'd like to write about religion/spirituality in families. I hope you don't mind me being on here, it's more for insight purposes than anything. I was wondering if there are any families out there where mum and dad follow different beliefs/have a different or conflicting perspective on religion. Id be interested to hear then how religion is translated to their family/children... :)

alicesmum
06-02-2006, 10:33
hi alioop
i asked a similar question a while back. here's a link the that thread:

http://www.bubhub.com.au/community/forums/showthread.php?t=8243

my own spritual interest lies primarily in buddhism (obviously) but my DH is atheist and not into meditation or anything spiritual at all! the only time this presents a problem is when my spirituality takes me away from family time, such as when i attend retreats, and he misses me :( . i often wish he would come with me (although, then we'd be stuck for a babysitter!!!) and that he would meditate with me in the evenings sometimes. he has read a few books and said he likes them, but is totally not interested really. i find it hard to understand a complete lack of interest in spirituality of any kind, but we have quite different personalities, him being more practical and concrete, so i guess that explains it.

i plan to bring my children up teaching and showing them about buddhist teachings and practices, as well as about other religions. my DD already comes into the meditation room and sits with me while i meditate (which usually last ~3 minutes!) most days. my DH doesn't mind at all; in fact I think he is glad i will be doing this.

i hope that sort of answers your question. :p

MrsMiggins
13-02-2006, 22:32
I was just about to post a question here asking how motherhood & child-rearing is viewed by Buddhists, when I glimpsed your thread. I'm glad I hit the 'Stop' button on my browser, because reading your post gave me a lump in my throat! How beautiful!!

I would generally describe myself as an athiest, given that I tend to have a "slight impatience" (how I'd describe it!) with organised religion in general. It's not that I don't believe in God, so much as my brain won't let me agree with things I hear from most organised religions. Buddhism though, fascinates me! I was first intrigued when I read that one of the main teachings is that you should question what you are told. For you cannot truly believe if you have doubts in your mind. To me, a religion that is open to being questioned, surely must have nothing to hide! I also associate with the whole natural element of the Buddhist beliefs.

Anyway, all that aside, I was very interested to read how motherhood is viewed by Buddhists. Thank you for posting this very interesting read! I will definitely look into some of the books mentioned here for further reading!