View Full Version : Why is ONE soooo bad????
So tell me, why is having only one child SO bad?:o
punkbaby
29-07-2007, 22:43
Umm i didnt think that one was bad at all ? i quiet liked having one actually! Bit late for that now though even though i wouldnt change it
Uhoh!.. did i miss something, i only have one:confused:
Umm i didnt think that one was bad at all ? i quiet liked having one actually! Bit late for that now though even though i wouldnt change it
I just not feel the NEED for another, man that sounds bad....:o but I do not feel clucky, I do not look at babies and think MAN I want one....DD is now 22 months, and everyone is saying WHEN?, I am over it, maybe I/we will only have one?
Just wanted to know why having just one was bad?
studyingECS
29-07-2007, 22:48
I dont think there is anything wrong with having one, i am an only child and i am not disadvantaged in anyway LOL
Uhoh!.. did i miss something, i only have one:confused:
:o Sorry I mean, siblings, having more than one child...Did not explain myself very well....:o
punkbaby
29-07-2007, 22:51
people need to shut their mouths it doesnt matter if you have 1 or ten! i have to say though that when i had ds i felt like i was neglecting dd i didnt have the one on one time i had with dd..i dont have the one on one that i would like with any of them so it does make a difference :)
Enjoy your dd dont let anyone tell you to have more, stuff what they think i say :D keep her all to yourself :D
I don't think that there is anything wrong with having just one. There are times when I think that we should have stopped at one!
I was in the pead dentist's waiting room with the kids the other day, and there was a mother there who did only have the one child. She sat and watched my 2 playing (they were actually being nice!) and looked at me and said "I think I should have had more than one"....I told her that we have what we have, and that there were times when having one would be just perfect! I have to say that I don't think that anyone had said that to her before, because she was actually caught off guard and didn't know what to say.
If you only want one, then only have one. There is no harm in only having one, or waiting till she starts school to have another one if you want.
Talking from an only child's experience...
I wouldn't have only one child - we have 'different' lives to those with sibblings...
Think about when your child is older - who will they 'chat' with on an 'unconditional' type basis... what if you an DH were tragically taken... who then does your child have?
You may say, G'parents, Aunts, Uncles, Cousins... It is different - a sibbling is a sibbling...
They can share so much with a sibbling that they can't with another family member... Remember when Mum used to :ecomcity: Remember that time we:ecomcity: - Living under the same roof gives them a common thread...
My parents had 'secondary' infertility - they wanted more children - Our life was not planned this way...
Cousins said - your like a sister to us - WHERE ARE THEY NOW???
If you are healthy & able to have more - you will have a permanent 'mate' in your house...
Milliner
30-07-2007, 09:24
As an only child too, I would never just have one (to late now lol)
It can be very lonely, I would have loved to have a brother or sister growing up, someone to talk to whenever, someone to play with ect.
Sometimes I get a bit jealous of people that have a beautiful close relationship with their siblings, I have nothing. Sure, I have my parents but it's just not the same.
DS will never have any cousins, (DP's brother has autisim and will never have children) so when DP and I pass if we didn't give him a sibling he would have no one.
It can just be a very lonely life at times.
I don't think having one child is bad, its a personal preference and you shouldn't let other people's views affect how you feel about your family.
I'm an only child and although my experience wasn't a -ve one, I have consciously wanted my DD to have the experience of having a sibling (whom she will meet in 9 weeks time!!).
If you only want one, then only have one. There is no harm in only having one, or waiting till she starts school to have another one if you want.
Thanks for that:hugs: and thank you to all that replied, especially those that ARE only children:hugs: that was what I needed to hear.
I have not decided whether or not we will have another, but if I had to decide today, I would say No more, thanks....
I am just not ready, and I love just having DD:o maybe I will change?
forbetoel
30-07-2007, 15:41
If you really could only handle one child then that is the right thing to do. Too many children are born not really wanted, it is better to be an only child than to be an unwanted 2nd, 3rd or 4th baby! I have had 4 and could go again, I really enjoy being a mum and having a large family, but I guess it is not for everyone, you have to recognize your limits!
I have only one little girl who is nearly six. I never wanted any more, but when she was about 4 I could really see how lonely she is, and its worse now. She blames me for the loneliness stating if she had a brother or sister she would have someone to play with, it makes me cry.
My husband and I always play with her, but we just arent the same as playing with other kids.
Good luck in you decision.
I have only one little girl who is nearly six. I never wanted any more, but when she was about 4 I could really see how lonely she is, and its worse now. She blames me for the loneliness stating if she had a brother or sister she would have someone to play with, it makes me cry.
My husband and I always play with her, but we just arent the same as playing with other kids.
Good luck in you decision.
:hugs: This is what I am scared of:o ...wonder how big the gap can be???:rolleyes:before they are still an only child but with older siblings?????
studyingECS
30-07-2007, 15:57
Sometimes i really like not having siblings i have my parents all to myself LOL i cant say that i am lonely because i have tones of friends and a great social life
so thats proof not all kids suffer from not having siblings :)
Mrs Potts (one of my friends who I introduced here!) has about 5 years between Mr 6 and Miss 1....they have found it works really well for them.
forbetoel
30-07-2007, 16:00
My best friend had a little boy last year, when her DD was 7, they get along great, so great infact that she is now having her 3rd, because she was quite shocked with how beautiful and fun it was watching them interact, she is even whispering about a 4th. No gap is too large, the regret of not having a baby is more of a problem, once you are too old to go back and have another one!
studyingECS
30-07-2007, 16:05
my best friends mother had her bub when my bestfriend was 13 LOL free babysitting, i dont think it matters too much
missie_mack
30-07-2007, 16:14
:hugs: This is what I am scared of:o ...wonder how big the gap can be???:rolleyes:before they are still an only child but with older siblings?????
My Grandmother had another everytime one went to school, she found she got lonely. So between her oldest and youngest there is twenty years and all of them have 5 years between them bar the first two who were two in two years. The closest ones don't have much to do with each other but the others keep in regular contact and are great friends. Only time it might effect them is as young children but that is such a short time in the grandscale of things. Oh and none of them felt like a only child growing up...
Mrs Potts (one of my friends who I introduced here!) has about 5 years between Mr 6 and Miss 1....they have found it works really well for them.
:yelclap: Maybe that would work for us
My best friend had a little boy last year, when her DD was 7, they get along great, so great infact that she is now having her 3rd, because she was quite shocked with how beautiful and fun it was watching them interact, she is even whispering about a 4th. No gap is too large, the regret of not having a baby is more of a problem, once you are too old to go back and have another one!
:smiliedance: I feel so much better now...
I feel I HAVE to have a child within the next two years, be pregnant within the next year, or or or or the world will blow up:confused: So I just wait until I am ready:hugs:
Milliner
30-07-2007, 16:23
I have only one little girl who is nearly six. I never wanted any more, but when she was about 4 I could really see how lonely she is, and its worse now. She blames me for the loneliness stating if she had a brother or sister she would have someone to play with, it makes me cry.
My husband and I always play with her, but we just arent the same as playing with other kids.
Good luck in you decision.
I can remember saying this to mum a few times when I was younger. I was so desperate to have a brother or sister.
Sometimes i really like not having siblings i have my parents all to myself LOL i cant say that i am lonely because i have tones of friends and a great social life
so thats proof not all kids suffer from not having siblings :)
I wouldn't say that I suffered, I too had my parents all to myself, but they can becoem boring when your a child.
As a young child under 12 for eg you always want to have someone to play with. I found that once I was in highschool, I had many friends that could come over or I go to there house. It does get easier when you become a teenager, but you still don't have that person that will be there no matter what. YKWIM. Someone to stand up for you at school or someone to talk to when you feel that you can't discuss it with your parents.
Definitely each to their own and doing what works best for you.
I loved having 3 siblings to grow up with and am currently preg with bubs #2 and have #3 planned for the future. I loved my childhood and want my kids to have the same as what I did.
Chelle123
30-07-2007, 16:29
My dad was an only child until he was 16 and he hated it. He made me promise that I'd never only have one, but I wanted more anyway.
studyingECS
30-07-2007, 16:36
I wouldn't say that I suffered, I too had my parents all to myself, but they can becoem boring when your a child.
As a young child under 12 for eg you always want to have someone to play with. I found that once I was in highschool, I had many friends that could come over or I go to there house. It does get easier when you become a teenager, but you still don't have that person that will be there no matter what. YKWIM. Someone to stand up for you at school or someone to talk to when you feel that you can't discuss it with your parents.
i get what you mean, i guess i just had a different situation, i was always arounds kids, went to family day care for 12 years so i was always around kids, maybe when i got home i was just happy to be alone with my parents LOL:D
I am an only child and wish I had siblings. When my father died 5 years ago it was just my Mum and I - it was really hard. My Mum has lots of rellies but it was different because they're not part of our immediate family.
I now have 3 children. There's 4 years between my first 2 and 3 years between the 2nd 2. People probably thought I was only going to have one but I just didn't want them too close. I also had a terrible birth with the 1st and it really put me off. I had great births with the other 2 which was wonderful.
There are lots of advantages to having only 1 child - there's more things you can do as a smaller family. It's cheaper and you can give your child more attention.
As many PPs have said, it's totally up to you. Just because lots of people like to have an 18month to 2 year gap doesn't mean you have to. This wasn't for me either (I would have gone mad! :o ) and the longer gap has allowed me to spend more time with each individual child.
Good luck with your family whatever form it takes!
I've grown up with 3 sisters.... ranging from 4yrs younger to 14 yrs younger.... I've never really had outstanding, unbeliavable friendships with any of them.... nor my mother.....
There is downsides to having siblings too that no-one has mentioned yet... competing for attention.... a parent that might play favourites/compare siblings, financial strain.... constant bickering, I could go on but you get my point.....
I have lifetime friendships I have forged that are as important as family to me.... family is so much more than sharing DNA in my view....
I have my one DD and for all foreseeable future that is all I want.... she has my undivided attention, love and resources.... she will make friends, she has many loving family and family friends, she will never be lonely.... you can be one in a thousand and still be lonely iykwim.....
Do what feels right for you hun... no guilt trips, no overly opinionated points of view.... weigh up the pros and cons in your circumstances and go with your gut! :hugs:
I think it is completely your decision, including DH.
BUT, speaking from an ONLY child's point of few. I was lonely growing up. I would have loved to have a brother or sister. I really notice now, being older. I wish I had someone to talk to, spend time together and share things with.
I think it also depends on the parent. If they are willing to spend time with their child, include them totally in their lives and still offer them the child lots of interaction with other children, like a group, sport or dancing etc things should be ok.
Grace
My DH is an only child and cant imagine why someone would want siblings. He loved being an only child and even tho I have a sister I think I could have quite easily been an only child, she and I are like chalk and cheese and there arent that many of the 'remember this' conversations.
There is a book called the Celestine Prophecy which recommends having another baby only after the first one is 7 so you have time and energy to put into the first child teaching them everything they need before the other comes along. Interesting thought
bambikins
30-07-2007, 16:52
Only child here too:wave:
Yes, I may have no other siblings to share my life with, but the relationship and bond that I have with my mother is absolutely priceless and I wouldn't trade it in for all the siblings in the world. An only childs relationship with their parents is something very unique indeed and hard to understand if your not an only child yourself. And loneliness can come into the picture at times but I suppose you can still feel lonely no matter how many people are around, it's something we all have to face in life at one time or another and maybe the only child is better equiped for when that period of time happens.
In saying that I do want another child and that is because I want to experience a family with siblings in it. But my problem is I'm worried that it will change the bond and relationship dynamic that I have with my daughter now. I know it will and it's a bridge I will have to cross when that time comes.........sorry for the ramble.
forbetoel
30-07-2007, 17:01
Bambikins- another child won't change your relationship with your DD, it will only enhance it, as you get to watch her experience a brother or sister. I have 4 kids, and have a great bond with all of them. I was one of 4 kids myself, and all of us are very close to our parents, so don't worry, another blessing in your family, just brings about more blessings!
I actually wanted to have 4 because I loved my childhood soooo much, and now as an adult are very close to my siblings, we all have kids, and all of the cousins (all 12 of them) get together all the time, they themselves are like siblings to each other. I hope my kids are there for each other long after DH and myself are gone!
EmsMum72
30-07-2007, 17:03
There is nothing wrong with having an only child. However, DH and I are/have been desperately trying to have another child so that DD's not lonely when she's older, so that she has someone to talk to (apart from me & DH) whenever she wants to, so that she's not all alone when DH and I 'cark it' :laughing: .
However, in saying that, if we can't have any more children then that's just the way the cookie crumbles. We have tried to give her a sibling, but it just hasn't happened so far/and may never happen. She will grow up not having to compete with siblings for attention or affection, I will ensure that she has friends/cousins over as much as she likes (so that hopefully she doesn't feel lonely), and if anything happened to DH and me then she would go and live with my sis-in-law who has kids her age, so she will be fine. It's not what I ideally want, but we do the best we can.
SassyMummy
30-07-2007, 17:12
I don't necessarily think there's something wrong with only having one... but I know, for me, it's about DD more than what I want.
I have a brother, so I'm not surrounded by siblings... but I do feel lucky that I had him at least. Even though we fought and whatnot, there were times when we could play and learn from each other and all of that... and I just feel guilty about not doing that for DD.
I'm only 21 but I can hear my biological clock ticking away loudly... and that's because of DD. I fear that the longer I wait, the more likely she'll have a sibling, but would have spent her childhood as an only child. Does that make sense? I want her to have someone to grow up with, kinda, and I'm freaking out that she's not going to have that.
I'm so conflicted over having another... I go through stages of not even wanting another... but then I feel bad because I think she NEEDS a sibling. Not all kids need them, but I feel my daughter does. I feel they're very important, and I want her to be able to experience that... so I'm kinda just freaking out as each month comes and goes...
bambikins
30-07-2007, 17:18
4boys2love- That's a great way of putting it, I hope very much that it will enhance the relationship but do have the irrational fears that my love will be halved. I know it sounds dumb and it's probably stemming from my own only child insecurites.
EmsMum72 - Your story sounds alot like my 'family'... my parents hit secondary infertility & 'tried' for about 25 years to have more children... the later part was doing back to back IVF cycles...
Yes, I too have an 'exceptional' relationship with my parents - but, I think I would have anyway, because my are totally amazing parents... I speak to my parents more than once a day - they are my life & my family...
My DH has a brother - '@rsehole', the way he treats his sibling disgusts me... very competetive - I cannot understand this - to me he should 'love' his brother - but that's my 'PERFECT' way?? A sibling should be treasured - I think parenting has a lot to do with this...
BTW - After having my first child I did not think I could 'love' another - did I have enough love for another.... YOU JUST DO!! The love you have for your children is amazing.
EmsMum72
30-07-2007, 17:31
The love, the pride, the enjoyment, the fun, the amazement, the sheer joy my DD has brought to my life is overwhelming. I would choose to have an only child, over never having a child any day. :yelclap: However, :fingerscrossed: I can give her a sibling in the near future!
sunnyflower
30-07-2007, 17:46
I've only got the one and i'm single so i will probably only have one .For a long time i thought i would maybe like another but i am quite happy with just one now!!
My mum was an only child, I'm an only child and my DS will be an only child.
I was never lonely and I certainly never wished or asked for a sibling.
My DP has a sister and they haven't spoken in years and are not likely to in the future either, and he certainly doesn't recall fond memories of playing together as children...so he's not completely crushed at the thought of one.
DH and I have decided on one child. Not my problem if someone finds that weird or doesn't like it.
DH is an only child and he never felt lonely or left out. He had tonnes of friends and always went camping with his mates and his mum and dad.
chameleon
30-07-2007, 21:01
I don't think there is anything wrong with only having one child. There are people out there with siblings who never talk to each other anyway.
However, I do have a sister and we grew up the best of friends. We used to do so much together. We always played together and used to do things like sneak out of bed at night for midnight snacks. When we started school if my sister had a fight with her friends she'd come and sit with me. We still talk about everything and get along great. I couldn't imagine not having her around. As much as I love my Mum (Dad died) it's also nice to have her because we're so alike.
We've both had close friends but some have moved away and they seem to come and go- yet she's there for life.
And having only one living parent, I was always worried about something happening to Mum too- but it would've been so much worse knowing I'd be by myself.
But then again my DH comes from a family of 7, and although he gets along with them all he isn't really that close with any of his family, so you can come from a large family and still be lonely.
It's totally up to you though. Kids tend to adapt to whatever they're used to.
abibelsmum
31-07-2007, 10:08
As a child I begged my parents for a baby brother. I eventually got one at 5.5. Only discovered as an adult that my mother had a miscarriage between the two of us - feel awful in retrospect for the nagging for a baby.
I remember thinking when DD1 was about 6 months old that we would have to have another one since we had gone through such a steep learning curve with her arrival that it seemed a shame to waste all that knowledge.
My Grandmother had another everytime one went to school, she found she got lonely. So between her oldest and youngest there is twenty years and all of them have 5 years between them bar the first two who were two in two years. The closest ones don't have much to do with each other but the others keep in regular contact and are great friends. Only time it might effect them is as young children but that is such a short time in the grandscale of things. Oh and none of them felt like a only child growing up...
This is exactly what I'm going through now!! It took me 3 years to have my second child which then left an age gap of 5 and half years between #1 and 2, I didn't think that i wanted anymore after that as it was difficult falling preg but when my DS went to Kindy this year, I felt empty and lonely and definately didn't want to just stop there!! I've been trying for #3 since Dec last year with no luck at this point in time (AGAIN!!) but by the time I hopefully do fall preg (:fingerscrossed:) The age gap again will be at least 5 and half years again!! So my first will be nearly 11 when the third hopefully comes along!!
In the beginning it was a bit difficult with the age gap as DD was so used to having us to herself but then just got used to it! They fight a bit now because he is just the 'annoying little brother' but this isn't an issue or problem, it's just kids for you!!
I think in the end, each to their own, one, two or ten, they are all loved the same way and just from having one doesn't mean that it's going to be a spoilt little brat, if there were 4 in that family, they would probably all be spoilt little brats, it comes down to the parenting strategies that's all, not the amount of children you have!!
They are all very very precious and I tell you now, I'm just so so so thankful for the two gifts I've already been given!! one is so much better than none!!
My mum was an only child, I'm an only child and my DS will be an only child.
I was never lonely and I certainly never wished or asked for a sibling.
My DP has a sister and they haven't spoken in years and are not likely to in the future either, and he certainly doesn't recall fond memories of playing together as children...so he's not completely crushed at the thought of one.
I have a brother 4 years older, and we were never terribly close and only chat 1 or 2 times a year now. Many memories are of my brother tormenting me, not playing nice. And since adulthood no real issues, but no connection either. So, do what is right for yourself, not for the fact that you hope your children will have a special bond because it might just not be there.
WOW, after reading nearly all these posts i think i have answered my own "should we have another baby?"
I was an only child for just over 9 years, begged and begged for a sister, got my wish, she is a handfull and i now 14 and we get along, and we also have a almost 11 year old brother. Love them both to bits, but with such a age gap, (9 between my sister and me and 12 between bro and me) sometimes it feels more like a parent/child relationship. I also had many cousins who were "like bro/sisters" but its not the same. I wish we were closer in age, and we also have diff dads, i have a dad and they share another. so that also makes it harder, and i HATE it when people say..."oh so they are your half bro/sis" because i dont care if they have the same dad as me or whatever, they are my bro and sis!! (sorry got a bit carried away)
anyways i think that means i'm/we're going to try for another baby!!
But if u only want one bubba (coz at times i think it would also be nice) thats up to you, my opinion would be just dont leave a big gap, coz 9 years was a long time... i think i grew up a lot quicker then most 9 year olds.
erinjacob
14-08-2007, 11:43
theres nothin wrong with one but i could never imagin having only one it to weird an i wouldnt imagin my children growing up with out brothers or sis i have 3 sis an i would of hated it growing up alone. for me it not about my self it would be easier to hav one but iv seen alot of only children who are not nice children.
CharlisMummy
14-08-2007, 13:06
This question torments me every day :hair:
I really want another but I was so sick with Hyperemesis with DD (vomiting 24/7 for nine months straight) that I just can't bare to do it again!!
I have one brother and we are really close and I want that for DD.
We'll probably wait til she is 3ish so she can understand why Mummy can't get up off the bathroom floor!
there is nothing wrong with it-
from the view of an only child though- i HATED it.....still do.
i guess thats the reason we have 3 kids :)
WizzFizz
14-08-2007, 14:05
There is certainly nothing wrong with having just one child. Dh and I are from big families, we both talk about how much we loved the family get togethers and playing with all our cousins, brothers and sisters. So when we talked about having children ourselves, we both wanted more than one, and at the moment we have two. We are undecided if we will add another baby to our growing brood, I think we'd both like to if finances permit!
This question torments me every day
:hugs: I feel your pain. Its so hard when everyone says WHEN? and WHY are you waiting? Hurry up, you don't want to wait too long, and the variations there of. I think the worst ones are that I will do her physical harm if she does not have a sibling:( . We will more than likely have an other, but not just yet, or who knows maybe never?:rolleyes:
AquaDevil78
14-08-2007, 14:34
I am an only child - no problems with me, i had heaps of friends growing up, cousin like a sister (still close) and my mum was like and still is like my best friend.. i was never lonely, had someone to chat too blah blah,
I too have only ever wanted 1 baby, and i have him now.. i have already thought about having another.. but i don't think i will.
Being an only child IMO is not a bad thing.
Maybe i was just fortunate growing up to have the mum i have etc.
rowie, DD's 27 months and I've been getting the whole "so when is the next one comming" since not long after she was born. Its really getting rather old.
At this point in my life, I dont want another one. My whole pregnancy was horrible, and I had a traumatic labour and birth with her, so I guess thats a factor, but Im just so very content with my beautiful girl, I dont feel I have a void I need to fill yet.
In our house hold, theres dh, dd, both of my parents, my brother, my grandmother, and me. DD may not have a sibling, but she gets so much love and stimulation from her whole family, that I dont feel that shes missing out on anything right now.
Before I had dd, I always said I'd never have an only child, and dh always said he'd never have more then one (he was a middle child), and after dd arrived, everything changed.
Now im the content no more babies type, and dh see's a baby and you can hear the cluckity cluck cluck cluck from a mile. All I hear about is babies and how he wants another.
Theres so many factors for me. DH is still so undecided about living in australia or canada, he misses his family from there. We fight quite alot, and I just dont think its fair to bring another child into the world when our relationship is this unstable.
I think dd thrives being alone at the moment, and I know in my mind that I'd love the 2nd just as much, and I'd find time to have the precious one on one time, but it just doesnt seem right to me now.
Right now, as things stand, I have a beautiful spoilt rotten little angel that really does do horrible and bratty very well, and dh may change my mind when dd's 5, 6, or 7, but I got quite a few years before that happens.
I dont think I've given dd any kind of disadvantage by being an only child, I just plan to put her in lots of social activities (as long as she wants to ofcourse) and make sure I always have time for her. Sorry for rambling :laughing::o
ETA: I did however forget to add, that when DD's 18 month old second cousin comes over to play, I do feel incredibly incredibly guilty when I see just how much she loves playing with her. It tugs at the heart strings a bit.
aquarius
14-08-2007, 19:51
So, do what is right for yourself, not for the fact that you hope your children will have a special bond because it might just not be there.
well said - just coz your child has siblings doesn't necessarily mean they are going to be close and have this fantastic supportive bond throughout childhood that continues into adulthood. rowie, good luck with your decision, i'm having the same struggles myself :hugs: leeny, your story sounds just like mine, i had a horrible pregnancy and birth experience too and don't know if i can go thru all that again. people are nagging me for the next one already and DD is only 5 mths old!!! DH let slip to his mum that we were considering stopping at one baby and she started carrying on about how lonely they get when they're only children and now she keeps saying to me 'oh i do hope you have another one' or 'buy this colour in clothes so if you have a boy next time he can wear them too' - so subtle :rolleyes:
I dont have children yet but am desperatly trying. I wanted to have my say on this thread though.
I always thought I wanted 2 children but I have been through a lot with falling pregnant and losing my baby. I now think that I only want one baby. Be able to give one child everything I can, not so the child is spoilt but just so we will not struggle to give a child everything they need. I am not saying we will but oh I dont know.
Anyway when I told my mum that I thought I may only have one child. She was like "stop talking rot. you will have more than one child, people dont have just one child by choice.". My aunt and uncle only have one child and they are constantly going through the "when are you having another?" I dont get it either. WHY do people think having one child is bad? It is our decision after all. I cant make that decision yet but with my way of thinking I will be too scared to go through all this again. I would just be happy to have my one baby.
I know this does not answer any questions but I just needed to vent a bit.
ITS NOT BAD TO HAVE ONE BABY!!!!
Bree
My aunt and uncle only have one child and they are constantly going through the "when are you having another?" I dont get it either. WHY do people think having one child is bad? It is our decision after all. I cant make that decision yet but with my way of thinking I will be too scared to go through all this again. I would just be happy to have my one baby.
Now that DD is 22 months, this is ALL I am hearing. Why aren't you pregnant? Are you having trouble?:rolleyes: Why can't I just want one?:confused:
punkbaby
20-08-2007, 22:55
as much as i hate to admit it i had a day today where i felt like i only had one and i loved it LOL ds was at kinder, dd was at school so dd and i went shopping, as much as i love my kids i actually enjoyed a nice pleasant shop where one wasnt razzing the other....i envy those mums with one well when i am having a bad stressful day i do lol
susmamma
24-08-2007, 07:36
as much as i hate to admit it i had a day today where i felt like i only had one and i loved it LOL ds was at kinder, dd was at school so dd and i went shopping, as much as i love my kids i actually enjoyed a nice pleasant shop where one wasnt razzing the other....i envy those mums with one well when i am having a bad stressful day i do lol
Aaah but I bet you only appreciate one child because you know what it's like to have more!
After we had DD2 i used to wonder what the hell I used to complain about all the time with only one!
One is paradise! So easy!
So portable!
But you dont realise that, I mean really realise tht until you experience another one (or two, or three :laughing: )
For me, I'm so glad we went again but I can really appreciate why you wouldnt. When I was preg with DD2 I used to look at DD1 and wonder if I was doing the right thing for her, for us. I guess it's like sliding doors, in one life she could have enjoyed all the benefits of a singe child life and in this version she gets to hang out with a sister.
My most vivid moment was when DD1 was 18 months old and we had gone away for a weekend. She had found some other little kids also staying at the beachside cabins and I saw her standing alone watching them. She ventured towards them and tried to engage a few of the older kids. I could see her using her hands to convey what she was trying to say. They all turned their back on her and jumped on their bikes and scooters and ran away. My little girl in her red jumper stood all by herself watching them leave.
God it almost broke my heart.
Then I rubbed my seven month pregnant belly and knew, that at least for her childhood, my little girl would always have a friend to play with. :rolleyes:
Hi There,
I am an only child & DH comes from a family of 3 kids. He hated his siblings and I loved being an only child. Which is why we only have 1 DS who is 2 1/2 and we have decided on no more children.
I have alot of friends telling me that it's cruel and that they need someone else to play with but it's falling on deaf ears I tell them :D
As for companionship it's a great thing but I found that in my friends and other relatives. I never had alot of friends but 5 or so very close ones and that is more than enough for me.
I like only having the 1 DS and wouldn't change it. I can devote all my time, love and attention to him and try not to spoil him in the meantime :laughing:
I have seen 3 of my friends go from having one child to two and after seeing the struggle and sleepless nights and tantrums x 2 it reinforces why I am sticking with one.
Might be selfish but at the end of the day it's a personal decision.
Plus I don't want to struggle financially throughout life with 3 or 4 children. I don't have to work at the moment, only DH does which means I have even more time at home with DS.
It's nice not to have the pressure of working, juggling 2 or 3 kids etc.
At the end of the day all numbers are great numbers whether it's just 1 child or 10 children :D
If I ever won lotto DH & I agreed on 6 children :smiliedance:
Susan Mac
25-08-2007, 11:41
I want 4 or 5. :)
But the way my beautiful 11 month old has been carrying on lately - not sleeping, super clingy, only ever wanting me and not even daddy, won't play by himself for more than 5 minutes then he realises i'm doing something more interesting - I think, hmm... do I really want to do all of this again... :hair:
but right now he is asleep and I think, oh, I want another baby.
god-willing we'll have at least one more. :fingerscrossed:
forbetoel
25-08-2007, 12:09
Susan Mac, I bet the not sleeping, super clingy, won;t play by himself, won't even register with you when he is grown, you will only remember how sweet he was, the funny way he pronounced words, and the way he loved his mum sooo much! Goodluck with more babies, I have 4 and another is not out of the question. :D
I am an only child. My parents could not have anymore but I did not grow up feeling neglected because I didn't have any brothers or sisters. I actually don't think it ever worried me not having siblings. Luckily, my Mum & Dad are from big families so I had heaps of cousins to play with growing up. I was also involved in dancing from a young age so I grew up socialising with others very early on. Being the only child never made me a loner or withdrawn. I am a people person and have no trouble communicating with others.
Sophie!:wave:
mumma_jessy
28-08-2007, 20:52
I personally could never have only one, unless i had no choice. I grew up with two brothers and we have always been close. Now seeing my older two together, i know i have made the right decision.
I guess it depends on the child on how they deal with being an only child. Some children like playing alone and like having their parents to themselves, but some kids will always want someone else to play with, talk to etc.
My DD1 could never handle being an only child, she does not like being alone, she can not even play by herself in the next room, where as my DS would sometimes rather play alone and i'm sure wishes his sister would go away for a while.
I guess there is nothing wrong with having only one, as long as you are always avaliable to play with your child or are happy for them to have friends over, a lot!
Goodluck :wave:
We have one... and I am adamant that we will not get pregnant again.
I had 2 brothers and a sister growing up and whilst it was good... it hasn't influenced me to want a sibling for DD. To me, it just seemed like it was 'too much'.
DF wants one more but I am the one who will have to carry the baby and then raise it whilst he works long hours away from us.
I had a terrible pregnancy, my morning sickness was terrible, I was in constant pain... spent WAY too many hours at a hospital with nurses who were horrible... and from what I remember- our relationship was absolutely ghastly when I was pregnant.
I don't remember any 'good' things about being pregnant... and then- the whole getting used to having a child... the transition into motherhood... a risk of getting PND again... no sleep... the tantrums... eh...
To me, its just not worth it!
DD takes up enough of my time as it is. Id like to be able to give her the best life experience as possible, and I feel I can do a better parenting job, if I can concentrate all of my energy on her.
And... for my own selfish reasons- I cant wait to have my life back. To get out and travel and do things I wanted to do previously before I got pregnant!
Wow what an awesome amount of replies I am proud:D
We still have not definately set in stone that we will not have another, but if everyone keeps nagging me I will NOT have another just to spite them:p
You shouldn't get shot down for only wanting one baby. Its up to you whether you wanna do it or not. Personally growing up as an only child, i had no-one there to play with, look up to etc so i always said i could never have only one bub.
Powered by vBulletin® Version 4.1.9 Copyright © 2013 vBulletin Solutions, Inc. All rights reserved.