Weaning my baby at 6 weeks old, need advice

[charli]

Hi all,
I was hoping to get some advice..
I have found breastfeeding my now 6 week old son difficult not only physically but emotionally. I have been giving him a bottle of formula at his last feed at night and am slowly starting on 2 bottles. Does anyone know the best way to wean?
Also, I really do feel guilty and down about doing this it was not an easy choice and I have doubts about it every minute esp when ppl are telling you how important it is to breastfeed and make you feel like crap for even mentioning the words 'bottle fed'. I do understand how important breast milk is but I don't want to become depressed and therefore be mentally unstable for him. Sorry to go on here! Has anyone else been through this? Thanks heaps for listening.. :) All support would be much appreciated.
Charli

[missie_mack]

Havent done it myself but my sister expressed and then went to formula once she dried up. If you give up the breast feeding buy cabbage leaves everyone swears on them and they even keep them in the fridge in the hospital.

[Jenko]

If you just keep replacing bf with bottle you should be ok. Say 2 a day to then 3 bottles a day. If you can handle breastfeeding a bit longer. I had problems bf and felt guilty too, (ended up breast and bottle feeding for 5 months) but you have to look after yourself. If you're not happy then looking after bubs will be twice as hard.

Maybe you could also try bf a little a bit at feed time and topping up with a bottle, that would help with 'let down' and hopefully reduce you're milk supply without too much pain.

All the best - try not to let others opinions affect you, you know what's right for you and your bubs. :)

[charli]

Thank you..
I will try to remember that I am doing whats best for me and Lucas.. it is still so hard sometimes! ppl can be so cruel!

[TwoBlue]

Charli i have just started weaning my 9 week old son too.

I have started with the night bottle like you and i intend to replace a feed with a bottle every month until all feeds are bottle feeds. I found this worked well with my first son also and i had very little problems with my breasts.
If you can leave it a week or so between each "drop"of a breast feed you will find it easier on yourself but even a few days would be ok.. just do what you can. Speak to your GP too they can help you with drying up your supply.

Dont feel bad about what your doing and dont let anyone make you feel bad.. you dont even need to justify it to us! its YOUR body,YOUR baby and YOUR choice !!

hugs

[veve]

hey charli

((hugs)) to you - you are abviously trying sooo hard to do what is best for baby AND you...

I struggled with breastfeeding too... even now... when Jack is better at feeding.. and I dont feel as drained (emotionally or physically!!) - he is still only getting 3 breastfeeds a day (and two formulas or expressed milk) - I found that by reducing the NUMBER of breastfeeds a day I could cope so much better!!

I 'weaned' Jack back to those feeds very gradually (which reduced the chance of problems such as mastitis...) I read a book which recommended replacing no more than one feed every three- four days... so that your body has a chance to adjust... otherwise you really need to express that milk another way.

- just make sure that you have the 'right' formula (make sure its a gold version- has extra nutritian for newborns) and that you have teats that reduce wind problems..

- I found using pigeon peristaltic teats worked for Jack - he has had no 'nipple confusion' - and still happily moves between breast... bottle .. and dummy with no issues.

I'm pretty sure that every mother who contimplated formula use (even with medical reason) still feels guilty on some level - the law is that midwives and even the formula companies have to promote breast is best - just let it wash over you and remember that every baby is different ... and that you have made your decision for YOU and YOUR BABY - and your relationship... :)

feel free to PM me if you are feeling low..
xxx

[Worm'sMum]

Hi Charli,

I'm not sure on advice for weening but I Just wanted to say, hang in there and you do whats best for you and bubs. Try not to let other ppl affect you - you are his mum and only you know what's best. I had the same probs - only breastfed for 2 weeks! Mainly due to the fact that my milk just never came in, had the colostrom but no milk! AND that was just the end of my 'failure' I had emerg cearsar as well! No one in either fam had ever had a c/section and all DH's family breastfed for ages! DH aunty was even part of the breastfeeding association thingy - so you can imagine the talks I got!!!! But I now have a happy healthy 15 month old who has a happy healthy mummy, because I did what I knew was best for both of us and didn't listen to others negative opinions. Sure breastfeeding is ideal for babies, but sometimes ideal just doesn't work.

Good Luck! And keep your head held high, cause you are being a great mum!:D

[charli]

To Veve thank you for your reply.. I am using S26 Gold which I was told was a good brand... he takes to it well and has not had a problem taking it which was a great thing!!
To Charlibum thank you also for your reply! I will really try to remail positive!
Thank you to you all! Big hugs to you all..
I just wanna say I feel so much better having posted my thoughts.. I knew I wasnt alone but I did feel alone.. I dont feel that now. THANK YOU!
:) :) :)

[Rainbowbrite]

We really struggled to get bf established & still have troubles but i put up with it. That being said though, you have to do whats best for YOU! We are all different, and what works for me may not work for you IYKWIM.

Personally, I'm no where near ready to give up bf, but if its draining you then it may be best to cut right back or stop completely.

Goodluck with whatever you choose to do :)

RB

[Jenko]

charli - I'm glad to hear you're feeling a bit better. Sometimes we just need to hear that other people have been thru the same thing to realise we are not alone. I remember when the midwife came to visit me due to grazed nipples and my deflated emotional state she suggested to go and get some formula - It was such a relief, I felt a whole lot better just because she had suggested it.

Once I started replacing bf with formula and topping DD up when I thought she needed it, I became a much happier mummy. I really believe looking after yourself is a priority, especially in those early days.

You're doing the right thing for you and for bubs - and that's who count.:)

[melfunction]

I'm pretty sure that every mother who contimplated formula use (even with medical reason) still feels guilty on some level - the law is that midwives and even the formula companies have to promote breast is best - just let it wash over you and remember that every baby is different ... and that you have made your decision for YOU and YOUR BABY - and your relationship... :)




Hi Charli,

I was one of these mothers. I had terrible guilt because I didn't get any milk and couldn't breastfeed my son.
Everyone lays it on thick how I should have tried harder.."What to get milk"? I'd say.."Where is your miracle"? :rolleyes:
Anyway, I got over that once I realised my son was still being feed and was/is thriving.
Do what is right for you :)

[Baby Girl]

Oh you are so not alone. I hated bf both times but I perservered with it for too long for my mental wellbeing with DD1 and stopped between 6 and 8 weeks with DD2.

With DD2 I just replaced one bf with formula for a couple of days and then one more every couple of days. I dropped her morning feed last as that was the easiest one for us each day. It meant I didn't have to get out of bed and get a bottle in the cold of winter so we kept that up for about another 4 weeks. By replacing one feed every 3 to 4 days it gave my body time to adjust and I had minimal pain from engorged breasts.

DO NOT feel guilty - your wellbeing (emotionally and physically) is just as important as your baby's.

I copped a lot of flack from people when I blatantly said I hated it but I kept my head up as I figured it was my decision and what was it gaining if I kept feeding my babies if it was leading to me not enjoying them. I had a lot of resentment issues towards DD1 as a bub and a lot of it was due to me keeping bf when it wasn't right for me and my wellbeing. Both of my girls have been on S26 Gold and they are very content, happy kids so don't let anyone make you feel like you have done something wrong or bad - YOU HAVE NOT!!

[kimmy]

Hi Charli,
i don't really have any advice for i formula feed my ds & am very slowly trying to wean my dd from breast to cows milk.
But just wanted to say you go for it, do what you think is best for you & your lil one & i hope you feel better soon.
Good luck with it.
Hugs xxx

[Rell]

Hi Charli
Sorry i have no advice on weaning as both times my milk dried up in 1 day ( I think this was some of the problem). My DD was bottle feed from 6 weeks and my DS was bottle feed from 2 weeks and I sure wish I knew about this site back then. Don't let anyone judge you , you have done the right thing for both YOU and your baby. I became an emotional and phisical wreck while trying to B/F and then started to resent my baby, this is when i decided to bottle feed. Happy mummy makes a happy baby. My kids are now 3 1/2 and 15mths and are quite bright and hardly ever sick unlike some fully B/F kids I know.
Good luck with the weaning.:)

[thirdtimeround]

Hi Charli

OMG heres me feeling guilty about weaning my 9 month old son because I fed his brother until he was 18 months. Breastfeeding is very draining, hard work and at times unbearable. I totally understand what your feeling. Its normal as a mother to have feelings of guilt relating to just about everything!!!

Do what is best for you as the other ladies have said. Each of my children have been different and therefore fed and weaned at different times for different reasons.

And cabbage leaves are great and work well not only for weaning but for cracked nipples too.:)

Me 33
dp 33
dd 11
ds1 3
ds2 9 months

[jonesso]

hey charli

the girls have really summed it up, you have to look after yourself and find what works for you. Afterall, it doesn't matter how much breast milk you give your bub if you are stressed out, emotional or depressed!

You've been given some great advice about dropping a breastfeed and replacing it with a bottle every few days as this is the gentlest way for your boobs to cope! In my case I was feeding DS 2 bottles and 4-5 breastfeeds a day when suddenly at 20 weeks he decided to scream at each feed and only wanted a bottle. For my mental health I decided gentle weaning wasn't an option as I was not going to go through that screaming tantrum 5 times a day to only end up giving him a bottle anyway!! So I switched to 5 bottles and 1 breastfeed (keeping the 5.30am one only - it's the only feed when he wouldn't scream and refuse the breast) immediately and my breast were really sore and full for about four days but then settled right down. 2 months on and I still have that morning breastfeed and now 4 bottles but he's on solids now anyway.

I am so happy that I was able to breastfeed DS at all as we had a lot of probs in the beginning, and it was a really trying and stressful time. I think even when it is all going smoothly things can turn bad! You just need to remind yourself that you're doing an amazing job and that those people who pass comments on what you should or shouldn't be doing really don't understand your situation. I am fast learning that EVERY SINGLE PERSON in the universe has an opinion on parenting!! Regardless of whether or not they are parents themselves!!

Re: formula... I think the trick is if you find a formula that works and baby does well on it, then stick to it. Don't go changing for the sake of it. I used the plain Karicare formula and it worked a treat for us - it is whey dominant (made on vegetable fats). The S26 range is great too but is made on beef fats so is a different kind of formula to Karicare. I really don't know the technical differences (attention to detail not my forte!) but both give bubs what they need. As somewhere said the GOLD varieties contain added vitamins and nutrients, but I think the plain ones don't do any harm to bubs either. At the end of the day if you've found one that works and bub is happy with, then stick with it.

Sorry to bang on about everything!!

And I also just wanted to congratulate all the posters on this thread - all v supportive comments and positive feedback, the way Bubhub should be. Good to see no critical posts within cooee IYKWIM... ;)

Good luck Charli

x Sonia

[Baby Girl]

And I also just wanted to congratulate all the posters on this thread - all v supportive comments and positive feedback, the way Bubhub should be. Good to see no critical posts within cooee IYKWIM... ;)Here here!!

[Mum2Lucas]

I only brest fed my son Lucas for 3 weeks because I was hospitalised for a UTI and the hospital gave me medication that I couldnt breast feed on. It took me a while of thinking before decided to keep him on formula instead of continueing to breastfeed. remember cried for a whole day (even though it was my decision to keep him on formula). Sometimes bottlefeeding is better for the baby and for the mother. It's ok if your feel down about bottlefeeding but remember its not the end of the world if you decide to full time bottlefeed.
Good luck

[MrsMiggins]

Has anyone else been through this? Thanks heaps for listening.. :) All support would be much appreciated.
Charli

I went through it!!!

I breastfed my baby & had every intention of doing so "no matter what" until she was 6 months old & then along with solids until she was at least 12 months.

Right from the get-go we had problems latching on & even though she'd sometimes get on there correctly, it seemed uncomfortable for her & she would pull back until she was nearly off before she would start suckling again. I ended up with excruciating cracked, bleeding nipples that would not heal & then worse, recurrent bouts of severe mastitis! I was a wreck - dreading every feed & ending up in tears. Not good for me, hubby or bub!!

About a week after we got home from hospital I started giving her nighttime bottles of either expressed milk or formula & just gradually swapped one feed here & there for a bottle when I couldn't face breastfeeding & eventually ended up on only 1-3 feeds per day from the breast.

I totally gave up at 3 months due to a bad milk supply, even though I wish I could have continued longer a I was able to manage only a feed or two a day with no pain & I completely healed up & stopped getting mastitis.

Whatever you do, don't let yourself get too upset about it all. I was devestated at not being able to breastfeed. I spent years trying to get pregnant imagining myself contently breastfeeding a chubby, happy little infant but in reality it just wasn't to be. I am planning on giving it another go for #2 though! Get back on the horse as they say!!

My beautiful, chubby, happy, delightful little girl is absolutely thriving! She is growing like mad & is quite well advanced in many things both physically & mentally for her age. Formula is not going to harm your baby! And you will get over the feeling of disappointment as you watch your child develop & thrive!

[Abi'smum]

hi everyone

I thought I was the only one who felt like crap for having to use formula. My milk never came in. I landed bub in NICU at 10 days of age because I was so hung up on trying to do the right thing and please everyone. Thanks to alot of ppls well meaning advice and I might add professionals telling me to keep demand feeding (.....every hour)even when she had lost %20 of birthweight.

It took me a good month to stop beating myself up for using formula, but when I finally came around, I figured she is a happy healthy girl and that is all that matters. Next time around I plan to be prepared for both breast feeling and formula to prevent this ever happening again. The worst 2 weeks of my life.

She is now a thriving beautiful girl. And I could not be happier

Enjoy your baby:)

[Pommy Mummy]

Hi Charli

I gave birth to my boy Jack 5 weeks early. I breastfed with no real problems using a nipple shield however I was an emotional reck after a traumatic birth and found I was struggling with insommnia I was also paranoid I'd get mastitis and I thought that I wouldn't be able to habdle feeling like I had the flu along woth everything else so Idecided to wean off on to the bottle. I have to say I did not have one feeling of guilt as I had always said if I could I would and and if I couldn't I wasn't going to beat myself up about it. Anyway after giving Jack one bottle he wouldn't go back on the breast (he was about 1 week and a half old) he screamed for 20 mins before I gave in and gave him a bottle. After that I put on my tightest bra and wore it dayt and night for I think it was a 5 or so days and I never had any problems. I used Nan Ha Gold and Jack has just flourished. At 7 months old he weighs 8.5 kg he is crawling all over the place, pulling himself up on furniture and babbling away. I still say bottlefeeding was the best thing I ever did, it did so much for my mental health and I reckon with the next one I'm not even going to try.

[auzimum]

Just reading through all these posts is really good as my baby girl is almost 6 weeks and i made the decision today to stop breast feeding as i have been struggling with a sore breast (in agony while feeding and between) as i am only feeding from one side as my milk dried up in the other weeks ago. I have been diagnosed with Staf infection so been given the antibiotics for it today and will be getting formula also. Also, my stress and anxiety levels have been through the roof for weeks now and i think enough is enough although it's making me extremely emotional thinking i am giving it up

[kw123]

Hugs auzimum - I made the difficult decision to wean at 4 weeks for a number of reasons both physical and emotional... PM me if you want to chat more about it.