c sections and bonding?

[Lirael]

ok just from my other thread, i got to wondering, do you think the bonding is different for a c section than a VB?

one reason i ask, is sometimes i blame the fact my mum had all c sections (all under general) on her being, well not a great mum(she did breastfeed us all extensively so i assume there was some bond there)

but then i thought well, its got to be more complex than just that. maybe im using it as an excuse and not looking at other reasons...

so for women who have had c sections, what was bonding like for you?

for those of you who have had VBs before or after c sections, was the bonding any different?

sorry if this has already been asked:o

[Manxie]

Hi

I had an emergency c-section with DD and didnt have any trouble with bonding at all.

I guess if mum is really traumatised by an awful labour and then a c-section then maybe depression about this could make the bonding process hard:detective: So its more the depression that causes the difficulties with bonding rather than the mode of delivery IYKWIM. This being the case then I would expect the no of mums who are traumatised by a VD would be roughly the same as those traumatised by a CS?

But generally no I dont think a CS would affect bonding.

Hope that makes sense:D

[Fuchsia!]

i had a vb with my 1st and the recovery was bad, i didn't bond with him straightaway, the 1st night i didn't even want to hold him. But the next day it was it changed and he was my whole world!

with ds2 i had a elective c/s and i read up on it, and there was alot of stories of mums not bonding with there bubs so i was worried about that. But when he was pulled out i was more emotional with him than my 1st. I felt an instant bond so it was pretty much the same. The bonding was the same for me.

[Elfin]

No I don't think c-sections affect bonding, they might for some people but not for me. I have an extremely close bond with all my children for which they were all born via cs. Two were premature, one in special care for a week and then one in ICN for a week and and then another week in special care. So there were some rough starts as well but we are all very close.

My births weren't traumatic nor was I upset about the cs, maybe that can make a difference to bonding.

I also have a few friends that are adopted and they are extremely close to their parents so they must of bonded at some stage too even though their parents didn't experience their birth. Maybe it depends on how much you want to bond, PND or perhaps it is personaliy and style of parenting, I don't really know.

Good question though.

[dee dee]

I have never had a vb, so I can't really compare the two in regards to bonding. I don't think that having c sections affected the way that I bonded with my children.

[HouseOfBlues]

I had a emergency c/s with DS#1 and it took me awhile to bond with him.
With DS#2 I had a VBAC and I bonded with him instantly.

[Nowhere]

wow you are really into the C section threads arent you

I dont think having a c section afects the bond you have with your child, nor do i think not breast feeding does ( i think that is utter rubish) my dd was delivered Via c section at 35plus 3 i had been going in a nd out of labour since 22 weeks she was not stong enough to be born naturaly i dont regret it in any way im so thankful that c sections are available

but did it afect the bond i have with my DD not for a second

[Lirael]

yes i am 'into c section threads' as I will be having one and want alot of information :)

[tickle]

I have had a c/section and a v/birth.

I think I bonded more quickly with my DD (c/s), but I think it had little to do with how she was born. I was in a bit of shock, I guess you'd call it, after my DS (v/b) was born. New mum, had no idea what I was doing and I felt like, who is this person and what am I supposed to do with him?

Second time around, I definitely felt more confident. I was really sick after she was born and it was a few hours before I got to hold and touch her but I bonded with her immediately. Maybe it was that I felt so lucky that we were even alive?

The way my babies came out didn't seem to make a difference for us, but I can definitely see how it might for others.

[moonblossom]

I dont think it affects bonding. I had a c section with my last, under general for an emergency situation.

I am so sad i missed out on that INCREDIBLE feeling when you give birth naturally, but when i woke there was no doubt how much i loved him

On the breastfeeding side too...no problems there.

Good luck, nothing wrong with you having an elective c section if YOU are well informed and its YOUR choice. All the power too you.

[EmsMum72]

Well I've never had a VB, but I had no trouble bonding with my DD whatsoever after she was born by c-section. I have no problem at all that I wasn't able to have a VB, I gave it a go, it didn't work, I required a c-section, she was born healthy and safe and that's awesome :thumbsup: . It's a shame that some women feel disconnected from their babies, or like a failure, if they have a c-section, it was never a problem for me and I didn't really care how she came out, as long as she was safe and healthy. :D

[Bambaloo]

My mother had emergency c/s with me & my sis & elective for my bro & she is the best mum ever. I had the same probs as her (ie not dilating) and had an emergency c/s too.

Mum did breastfeed all of us for 9-12 mths however I only breastfed a couple of weeks before switching to bottle-feeding as I had too many probs with it. I don't think it has affected my DD and I bonding whatsoever as I was so down when breastfeeding & I say happy mummy = happy baby.

[RaryGirl]

I had a VB with DD and as it was a long drawn out process I don't feel like I bonded with her instantly and my recovery took months, so again it was a hard slog.

With DS I had a c-section and bonded with him instantly, bf him in recovery and he didn't leave my side again. I was the first to cuddle DS after he was born - same as with the VB.

I'll be having another c-section with this baby.

[SassyMummy]

I dunno if it affected it much, but I do think it affected it a bit.

It also, IMO, affected breastfeeding and my confidence levels.

I had my c-sec, saw my baby for a matter of seconds (didn't touch her or anything) then she was taken away, DP left, and I was left in a room, vomitting all over myself.

When I first sawy her I was kinda excited to see her, but in the way you're excited to open a present I suppose. I just wanted to see what she looked like more than anything.

When they first put her to my breast, I was thinking, "Um... I don't want her on me... get her off." I dunno if I loved her or not... I just didn't really have much feelings about her. She was just a strangers sitting on me, awkwardly, and I wanted her to get off me.

She finally came into my bedroom hours later, but everyone cuddled her before I did. I was still throwing up as a result of the stuff they put in my drip... so I didn't want to hold her until I had stopped throwing up (I didn't want to vomit on her, or throw her off to vomit, which I was worried I might do due to reflexes).

It wasn't until late that night that I loved her and wanted to show her affection. I had her in the morning.

The c-sec drained my body confidence too... why couldn't I birht a baby? I must not be "made right", etc. I had lots of gross thoughts, and it made me feel like I sucked... and that went across to lots of parts of my life... including breastfeeding.

I guess it's different if you choose a c-sec though... because you want it.

[SorenLorensen]

all i know is that DD and i have bonded great,

i had an emergency c/s but i was in no way upset with having it, i didnt want it at first but with DD it was the best thing for us both to have a c/s and i think me being able to accept that the c/s was going to happen helped alot.

[stellarella]

I cant really give my own experience having never had a c/sec (so I am unable to compare the two) and I dont think anyone can really comment (especially if you have only experienced one or the other) other than to give their own personal experience and understand that everyones experience is different.

I think it has more to do with the way birth was experienced rather than the type of birth (ie. c/sec or VB)

So no. Its not a simple matter of whether you had a c/sec or a VB.

However there is some evidence to suggest that bonding can be disrupted with a c/sec more than a natural VB. Some of the birth hormones which facilitate bonding are released when the baby is born vaginally so perhaps some women have a harder time with BFing if they have a c/sec. But again, a very traumatic VB could have a similar effect.

[stompy]

I felt that trying and struggling to breast feed affected the way I felt towards DD more than the fact that she was born via c section. Actually I was relieved that I had a cs.

[TJ]

Hey Chicky

I ended up with emergency c-sec, and i cant say it has affected our bonding at all.
I love my baby to bits, and he 'seems' to be the same.
He settles alot easier for me than hubby, but then again that could just be the milky smell also.

Unless you are out under a general, you still get to hold bub pretty much straight away, i think i did no longer than 2 mins after he was out (he had to be suctioned) and let me tell you, it was the most amazing feeling. It brought me to tears instantly.

If you go into it with a positive attitude, you will only have positive experiences IMO.

[mumofcaleb]

I also had a c-section had had no problems bonding what so ever :thumbsup:

[Bambaloo]

Can I just add that as soon as Ella was out they bought her past me to see then checked her, cut cord & wrapped her & put her on my chest (& took pics lol) while I was being stutured (sp?). She stayed on me then til recovery where she went on the boob straight away & we weren't separated at all. I think you'd only be parted if something was wrong.

[lukaelmo]

I've had an emergency c/s and a VBAC and no difference in bonding with either of my little people... I love 'em both :D.

[OscarTheGrouch]

I had a c-section with my last and bonding has not been effected at all. I have to say, even though the absolute extreme joy of having a baby is there, it's just not the same adrenaline rush or feeling as a VB. It was strange to me being away from my little boy not long after he was born to go to recovery.

[zenifa]

I had my DD by elective c/s and it didn't have any affect whatsoever on our bonding relationship, she was bf within an hour of birth. DD has a great bond with both of her parents.

[becca74]

After my 1st c/sec, I dont feel I hadnt bonded with him, BUT, I felt more like I was losing the race - like there was so much I wanted to be able to do for him, but because of the c/section, I felt like things were running ahead of me, and I was left behind.

I do believe I still have this feeling with all my mothering of all my children, like I'm a car in a race, and other cars start lapping me, and I am broken down by the side, and even after the car is fixed, I am still many laps behind the other cars.

Even my homebirth last year cant make up for the many years of being 'lapped'. If anything, I woke up and was suddenly aware of the aftermath of my actions from not being able to keep up.

I wish I could have been more sychronised. It is not about how much I love them, it is about being able to keep up in the race of your child's needs.

I have to say, I am more syncronised with my vaginally born sons, purely because I have been in perfect health and wellness after their births, and can keep up with their needs. But I love all my sons equally....so bonding, no, I dont believe was impaired in the slightest.

[nats]

After my 1st c/sec, I dont feel I hadnt bonded with him, BUT, I felt more like I was losing the race - like there was so much I wanted to be able to do for him, but because of the c/section, I felt like things were running ahead of me, and I was left behind.

I do believe I still have this feeling with all my mothering of all my children, like I'm a car in a race, and other cars start lapping me, and I am broken down by the side,.....


Oh Bec! :crying: :hugs: I know that one.


Re: bonding - In hindsight I can see that I didn't bond really. I mean I LOVE my boy but I'd let him be passed around. Let him cry in someone elses arms, standing there dumbly waiting for permission to have him back. Just the way that, when at the "birth" when I was presented with this stranger, I just lay on that slab (estranged from my body) and waited for the mw to give me permission to touch my baby :no:

Since I've commited to co-sleep I have.. we have.. repaired somewhat. I feel like I have him back IYKWIM.

Before I had him I was easy going/ adaptable/open minded.

After the birth I was broken, weak, impressionable, co-operative..... docile.

Now I'm back! (9+ months on) I feel determined and purposeful, useful and competent. So now I can tell you - Yes, I love him. No I didn't bond...

[onkybear]

I had a c-sect with DS and I have bonded better with him than anyone, he is a real mummys boy. After my c-sect they still put him straight up to me, I had him put on the bed with me when wheeled out of surgery and back to my room and i was feeding him as soon as we got back. So I feel I had a very close experence to vb mothers when it comes to after birth holding and feeding etc.

[mum_inlove]

I had an emergency c/s with ds and despite the fact i was drowsy and pretty much just slept in the first 24 hours, i didnt have any problem bonding with ds. He's 12 months old now and very much a mummy boy..Even though a c/s wasnt in my birth plan at all, i never regret had to have one. TBH, sometimes i even think why it took so long until they made the decision to perform the c/s. I dont know, but even during my pregnancy i never really have a specific birth plan, it doesnt worry me v/b or c/s as long as my baby was born healthy, so maybe in a way that's why i never really have problem bonding with him. Just like stompy, struggle to breast feed ds in the first few days actually affected me more than the actual birth..:)

[Lillynix]

I had an emergency c-section under a GA (NOT by choice) and am yet to have a VB so i'm not sure of the diferences between bonding.

But for me I feel as though I didn't bond as well with DD as I could have, despite not having anything to compare it to.

I had 15 hours of labour, was whisked to surgery, knocked out, 2 hours later I saw my baby girl, clean, dressed and wrapped up. I missed what she looked like when she was born, I missed her first cry...

Sure I fell in love with her straight away, but especially after not being able to breastfeed (due to surgery complications) I kept wondering (and still do) if there's supposed to be more than there is?

I love DD to bits, she is my world, but how do I know there's not supposed to be more? I'm hoping to find out come Jan as I WILL be having a VBAC and I WILL be breastfeeding (love my positive attitude LoL) so i'm hoping that if there is supposed to be something more, that i'll finally know.

[kccmylife]

I have had both, and infact both in one hit with the twins. My bond with DD#2 (twin#2) is no different to that of DD#1 or DS.

[Silverbaby]

Loved my bub form the minute I saw him ( even with the mark from the forceps). But you know I don't think it matters whether you bond straight away or it takes a while...some people are just 'in shock' but it doesn't mean they don't love their bub.

I'll be having a c-section next time too (not pregnant yet...this bub is only 4 months old!):)