To Go Back or Not???

[Taddy]

Not sure this is the right place to be posting this but here it goes.

Well yesterday I decided I would take my 15mth old son to the local playgroup(1/2an hour away). Because he is at that stage were I want him to be interacting with kids his age.
I got there and no one would talk to me. The whole lot of them were up them selves, I tried talking but that didn't work. I was there for probably bout 1/2an hour and wanting to go home. But no I decided to stay a bit longer. Jayden was an outcast the whole time if he was playing with a toy a bigger kid that knows better would snatch it from him. Jayden wanted to play with the other kids but the mothers kept on moving their kids away from him. I was almost in tears to how they treated him.
Then to top everything off Jayden was playing around the bottom of the forte and this little girl (5yrs old) said "When he comes closer we will smack him" Jayden didn't even move he was just smiling and the girl ran up to him and pushed him so he landed on his back and he started crying. I went and picked Jayden up and I said to the girl "You are just naughty" " No I am not."she replied.
Considering the mothers didn't do anything which really annoyed me. I hate seeing my son getting bullied. So we probably won't return. I was quite upset over it all. I had a cry coming home though.
The mothers are snobs and the kids are bullies.

[Ana Gram]

I wonder if there is anywhere you could make a complaint?

DD and I have only ever been to playgroup once in her 2 years and I have the same thoughts as you.

[andrewsmum]

Oh dear, sorry you didn't have a good time there. No, I would not go back there.

I'd try to find a playgroup that has kids around Jayden's age up to 2 years old, so he can interact with the children around his own age.

Or rather, why don't you and Jayden do a swimming or gymnastics class instead of playgroup?

[our little treasures]

I wouldn't go back.. If your childs being bullied no way..

[Chickadee]

I wouldn't go back.

Have you looked through Playgroups Australia for other groups near you? They are one of the sponsors of Bubhub so you should find some links in the index on the left.

Good luck.

[Jenko]

Oh Natasha, I'm really sorry to hear that you had such an awful experience. What an unfriendly bunch of mums they sound :( . I guess it's up to you to give it another chance or not, but it would probably take a lot to go back.

I am about to start taking Jenna to playgroup, just trying her out on a different sleep schedule atm as she still needs a morning nap and will be a bit hard to get there and back without her having one. I hope I find a more welcoming group!

Swimming classes or some other activity sounds the way to go.

Hope you're feeling a bit better. :)

[Lilac]

I'm with the other mothers...dont bother. Yuk....it sounds like an awful experience for the both of you and who needs a repeat episode of that or worse?
Lx

[melfunction]

Why would you want to go back? No question here......

[Taddy]

Thanks for your advice. There is nothing here were I live, we live in the bush in the middle of nowhere. I suppose I might leave it until he is about 2. Then he can bully back. :D

[mim]

I'm sorry you had such a bad time. Those ladies sound truly disgusting :( I think you can see where their childrens behavior comes from.
I went to a new playgroup about 18 months ago when my old one closed down, and spent 1 1/2 there and noone would talk to me at all. It was really depressing. Needless to say, I never went back!
I found a new playgroup, where everyone is really friendly and welcoming.
It's a pity that there isn't anymore playgroups close to you, can you do other activities with your boy?

[My3kids]

Sorry to hear you had a bad experince at playgroup, You made my heart heavy when you said your son smiled at the little girl and than she pushed him, that's so sad. Where in the south east are you. Would love to come to one i help run, Youand your son would be most welcome here. PM me and i will let you know the details.

[WeThree]

I wouldnt go back. What a horrible bunch of woman :(
Some people can only feel good about themselves by building up some crappy little world around themselves, like a playgroup or mums group, and then lording over it, bit sad really, so dont feel mad at them, feel sorry for them;) I hope you find a lovely, warm welcoming group that you will both enjoy. :)

[SMBT]

I know exactly where you are coming from, however I am one of the mothers in our group. I was totally disgusted at the way my very mothers group reacted to some friends of mine that I invited to my place (when the meeting was at my place). They were so inclusive (amongst themselves) and downright rude to my friends and their kids. I have invited a couple of my friends on about three occassions (different people and kids) and they were all treated exactly the same. Unless it was me talking to them, only one other girl in the group bothered to. It was very depressing! I felt so sorry for my friends as they were basically treated like outcasts and shoved in the corner of the room. I was deeply embarrassed, I couldn't believe that our mothers group could be so ******.:( I always feel sorry for anybody that dare talk or interrupt some of the mothers in the group when we are out because I know the reaction that they will give to others.

I have had a few arguments with a couple of girls in the group, for that exact reason, but you can't teach an old dog new tricks. I do most of the time get along really well with all of them, and as there are 10 of us it can be quite demanding at times, but the only reason I have for their behaviour is that they are all older than me and do not have any family in brisbane or australia for that matter, except 2 others, therefore I think they are trying to remain clicky with the friends they have because they don't have anyone else to fall back on. That's my opinion anyway. I personally feel that I am more accepting of others but maybe because I have more friends close by they are a bit jealous, and that is why they treated them pretty horribly! Who knows!

Maybe it was a bit like this with the mothers group you attended. Even though I am not condoning their behaviour, or my mothers groups behaviour either. I think that we are all in this game together and the more people to converse with and gain insight from the merrier!

Good luck, I really hope that you find some nice people to hang with! :)

[pthalokitty]

Had the same problem with a playgroup in brisbane- unfortunately the person in charge was the worst...can remember being isolated like that- if you were watching your child rather than trying to talk in their conversations or clean up it was total cold shoulder. There were some nice women there, but it seemed easier for them to talk with their established friends. Over time I found they were more welcoming- I guess not wanting to invest in first timers in case they were not coming back. I decided to go for my son's sake as he is an only child and likes playing with other kids. There was bullying there too- I learned my lesson one day when I went to get a cuppa. Quite a few mothers used the time to let their hair down and not watch out what the kids were doing as the play area was fenced. One kid screamed for his mother for 10 mins- my son walked over and stood there watching him, wanting to somehow help him (he's prone to hugging distressed kiddies). When the mother wouldn't come, he saw my son and decided to shove him. My son didn't know what he was doing and just looked at him. The kid pushed him until he hit a pole, and THEN the mother decided to make an appearance- the kid smiling cause he'd achieved his goal- mummy's attention. I ended up just going for an hour a week so my son could play, and hovered to watch out for the older kids...not always a fun trip, but sometimes you can meet a really good friend as I did- another newbie needing a friend.
The *****iness was just like being back in school!!!
em xxoo

[Mamaduke]

This is the exact reason that I never joined a mothers group or playgroup!!!
You can't blame the kids for having the same attitude as the mothers...monkey see, monkey do!
We were once at a Macca's playground and Jesse was playing with a group of children when a particular boy decided he didn't want Jesse included. The mothers were all inside totally oblivious to the vile way this child was acting. At one stage he kicked Jesse and Jesse said, "hey, you shouldn't kick anyone" and the child kicked him again. I went over to the boy and said (very quietly),
"Don't go to sleep tonight...I'm going to get a monster to come to your bedroom and bite your legs off for kicking other children!"
"There's no such thing as monsters" he replied.
"Well we'll see won't we?" I smirked.
Then I quickly took Jesse by the hand and made an exit....
I hope his mother had a terrible time that night...:eek:

[mumoftwoboys2005]

Hang on, I have to get up off the floor where I am PMSL. :p :p :p
That is the best comeback I have heard in a while. I will have to remember that one. :p

[Ana Gram]

That's where the goth thing comes in handy Carlyb, I don't even have to mention anything about monsters!!

[Mamaduke]

That's where the goth thing comes in handy Carlyb, I don't even have to mention anything about monsters!!
ROFLMAO!!! That's hilarious;)

[Peaceangels]

Not, I say!

Sorry to hear of your experience Taddy, doesn't sound like a very welcoming playgroup.

Try looking around for another one, one you feel comfortable with and your son has an enjoyable time at.