I Hate Him!!!

[Taddy]

Well for the last month and half my fiance and I have been fighting quite bad. We are both stressed out with a flatmate which is no longer a mate he is a slob and expects me to do everything for him aswell. I don't think so!
Today my man and I were talking privately about a ute he wants to buy (he is very stubborn) and I said " You have only TOLD me how good the ute is you haven't asked me for my opinion." He said " Why should I need your opinion when you will say no."
I just left it at that as his so-called mate was standing at the door listening in to our convo. Then when he was getting ready to go get some fuel I said " Theres some money in there for milk." He replied " What ever, get f****d." God I hate him. We have been together for 5 and half years. I could never leave him. I love him too much.

Any opinions please or suggestion to get this relationship rolling again?

[JATS]

I think the stress of being a family trying to live in a shared residence is NEVER good for a relationship. Dosen't matter if you're related to the housemate or not, it's better to be in your own place once you have a family.

My in laws lived with MIL's parents when DH was born, everything was a little tense before the baby, but once the baby arrived things got severely worse and they nearly ended up divorced. Once they got their own place they were happy together again (then again they divorced in 2004, 22 yrs later).

My parents lived with my mum's parents for a while, only lasted a few months before trouble started and THEY nearly seperated too! Would have if the house sale hadn't come through. They slept in seperate rooms in the new place for months before things settled down again.

We lived with MIL for a few months before our wedding, it caused alot of problems between us, but once MIL attacked me and caused me to miscarry our first child DH and I promptly left and once we had our own place again our problems were easily sorted!

I have several other examples, and not all are living with 'family'.

If you want to be a family you need to have your own place, my guess is that things won't inprove until you do.

You might have to sacrifice a bit financially or whatever but if your priorities lay with your partner and child, that's the price you have to pay and you'll be much happeir for it!

Best of luck

Amy

[our little treasures]

I would never have a housemate.. I find it difficult when family come and stay.. Conversations are not private and you feel like you can't talk freely... Hopefully you will have time with your family together soon.

[babycrazy]

Get rid of the house mate thats my only advice.
My ex-husband invited his friend to move into our house to help with rent (we were poor uni students) and it was a Disaster.:mad: Eventually they ganged up on me with every argument and decided to laugh at me when I was angry about something. Ever heard the saying 3 is a crowd!!!
(Notice I said EX-husband - hence how that turned out!)

Current hubby and I would never consider having anyone else in our house - no room anyway with 6 kids!:p

[Odessa]

I live with DP and two other men, both friends of ours, but they're absolute pigs. They're not rude (much) but they're messy, and the latest one is an old friend of both of ours who is currently jobhunting, therefore not contributing financially to the household...but all he does all day is play on his PC and watch our Foxtel! I've had enough so I rang him today and asked if he could at least pack the dishwasher for me...I'd just automatically help out if I was in his situation!

If DP and I are going through a rough patch it's nearly unbearable, he's a yeller so the others always know our business and what we're fighting about...which in turn stresses me out even more. Our housemates generally clear out or go to their room if we have a major argument, but if it's a minor spat, they'll throw in their 2c and IT DRIVES ME BATTY!

I can't wait until we can afford to live in our own place without housemates, at the moment we're madly paying down debt then saving for a house/baby ;) so all the extra money helps.

Taddy, in regards to being told to "g'fed", I know DP only says this to me when he's really, really po'd. He's obviously feeling the extra pressure of having a non-family member in the house too, but not expressing it properly. All I can suggest is some "family time" when housemate isn't around, else take DH and DS out of the house for some quality family bonding time. Please try to stay calm too, no point in making more stress for yourself. Then set about seeing how you can arrange to not have a housemate, and speak to DP about how he would feel about it.

Hope my mini-essay helps :)

[Taddy]

Thanks to everyone for your thoughts and suggestions. And yeh he ain't a family member he works with Chris, he doesn't have a licence so he goes where we go which really gives us the craps coz we can't talk about certain things.
I do't cook for him anymore coz on more then 1 occassion he hasn't even touched his dinner and it is a waste.

Sorry to have a whinge but half the time I feel much better.

Thanks

[heymamma]

I think you sound very angry...which i amm normally the same when i post some threads.... Because in one sentence your saying "i hate him" then you said you cant leave him cause you love him to much. I think if you really love someone you could never use the word "HATE" against them... but then again that is just my opinion.

[Narelle]

Get rid of the housemate!!!

Like many of the other girls I have had a not so good experience living with someone else it probably could of broken up our marriage if we didn't move out.
It's just not good as it creates friction!