Conceiving after D&C

[PJO27]

Hi there

I am new to this site, I found it this morning. I had a D&C yesterday, my baby was only 9 weeks. It has been very upsetting, as we went for a scan on Tuesday only to see a little body with no heartbeat.

I was wondering if anyone has any advice on when it's ok to try again. At this stage the doctors, and hospital staff haven't mentioned anything, I was thinking to just let nature take it's course?

I don't know why but I feel as if I want to fall pregnant again straight away, is this normal?

[willsmum]

You poor thing. I went thru this twice - one at 9 weeks, one at 7. My ob advised me to have one normalperiod, then OK to try after that. Both times we were pregnant again after 2 periods. Best of luck.

[Lallas' Mum]

Thankfully this has never personally happened to me but I have had family and friends who have lost babies.

My friend had a lot of trouble with unexplained miscarriages and has had to have a couple of D&Cs before. She lost twins and a single baby many years ago now. She then waited a few years (as she was young at the time) and then had a healthy baby girl. Recently though while trying to conceive again she lost a single baby and not long after she lost a twin. She is currently 21 weeks pregnant with a single bub after losing its twin. She was advised by medical proffessionals to wait for a normal period (preferabley two) before trying again after losing the first single baby. She waited for one period before she conceived the twins.

I do believe I would be jumping right back in there as well. But I have heard from a few different people that it is advisable to wait until your body gets back into routine first to minimise the chance of something going wrong again.

My sister (who lost a baby at 12 weeks early last year) got through by telling herself that these things happen for a reason. We may never know why exactly, but it makes us stronger and more thankful in the end.

I do hope all works out for you in the end. Take care of yourself.

Tracey;)

[PJO27]

Thankyou to both Lalla's mum and Willsmum.

Your kind words have certainly helped me today and hopefully each day from now on will get easier.

I do believe everything happens for a reason, and the only comfort I have is that my baby is better off where he or she is now.

thanks again
Prue.

[cath]

Hi,
I hope you are doing okay (and you deserve not to be so if you feel awful let yourself feel awful and cry whenever you need to). I had a miscarriage at 8 weeks and was told to wait until I had one normal period before trying again. I was exactly like you and wanted to be pregnant again straight away - you just want to get back to where you were because it is all so exciting and you've started to plan things. Unfortunatley my period didn't come for almost 8 weeks after my miscarriage and then it took me 5 months in the end to get pregnant again which honestly drove me insane (I am now a bit over 11 weeks pregnant and excited but quite paranoid that something is going to happen again - it's annoying that the excitement gets tainted once you have had a miscarriage). I was really stressed about not getting pregnant and so unhappy about it and it was only after I changed a few things (I quit my stressful job and decided to focus on looking after myself and getting fit and healthy and not focus so much on getting pregnant) that I fell pregnant (got pregnant a couple of weeks after leaving work -was really quite freaky). Anyway apparently your body needs to have at least one normal period to prepare for being pregnant but maybe check with your Dr that this is right for you. Best of luck and feel free to write again even if you just want to talk about how you're feeling (it is a very emotional thing to go through and you don't necessarily just "get over it and move on"). You do have to try and think that there was something wrong and it has happened for a reason but it doesn't make it any easier. I'm sure you will be pregnant again soon.Look after yourself.

Cath

[mummyb]

hello
well we may not know each other but i feel for you it is a terrible loss. how you we lost our first baby at 9 weeks and it just so hard to understand and after the dnc i just wanted to cry and cry.
i am happy to tell you that 6 months later we got pregnante again and we now have a 4and half year old and a 8 month old .
their is a great book called jesse a gift from heaven (this is a christian book but is incredibly beautiful) it is by chris pringle.
she talks about all pregnancyss going to heaven and that really comforted me , she also encourages women to place a name on the baby they loved so much. we called our tiny little baby julia.
i hope thats not to personal for you ,i just want you to know that there is a hope and future for you and i will be wishing you all the best on your journey ,
if you would like a copy of the book i mentioned i would be happy to send you one just email me a postal address ,at owl135@hotmail.com
:p

[PJO27]

Thankyou to everyone who replied.

I am feeling a little happier and more hopeful every day now.

Prue

[RuthK]

Prue

My sister has a similiar experience to you. At 12 weeks when she went for the scan they discovered the baby had died a few weeks previously and that's she'd had a missed miscarriage and then had a D&C. He recommend she wait a few months before conceiving again, just to allow her body to get healthy again and be in the best position to carry through a healthy pregnancy. After 3 months she started trying again. She conceived after a further 3 months (she never conceived first time anyway) and now has a healthy (but very naughty) 4 year old.

You'll get pregnant again. Just relax now and get your body healthy again.

Best of luck

R

[busymum]

Hi Prue

I hope all is getting better for you. I had my first bubba boy on aug 26 2003. I fell pregnant again in june 2004 and lost it at 6 weeks and fell again in August 2004 and lost it at 11 weeks due to a chromosone abnormality - it was a boy. I then fell again in Nov 2004 and still have this pregnancy going well at 22 weeks. I just waited both times for 1 cycle to pass and was very lucky to fall so quick. I understand the emotions involved. With my fist misscarriage I was fine and just got over it however with the second at 11 weeks well that took a little more getting over as I had gone through several weeks of sickness to turn up at my scan to be told there was no heartbeat. I know exactly how it feels to be looking up at that screen hoping you will see the heart beating any second and it just doesn't happen. Time heals and we are now well on our way with this one as i am sure you will be soon. Best of luck with it all and I really hope your wishes for another bub come true soon for you.

Paula

[darrakath]

Hi PJ027

I am in exactly the same situation as yourself. This time last week I was content in the knowledge I was 9 weeks, 2 days pregnant. On Tuesday I went for my normal booking in appt, was told that they would do a dating ultrasound to determine the exact age and size of the baby. I was feeling fine throughout the time I knew I was pregnant, just a little tired and ever so slightly nauseous. I looked forward to that afternoon, when the ultrasound was booked.

I was unprepared for what I was told during my ultrasound. "No fetal heartbeat....is it possible you have mixed up your dates?" There wasn't a mixup and besides, the baby was 8 weeks 4 days old when it had stopped growing, just no heartbeat when there should have been one by this stage. The sonogram man would tell me nothing, only to discuss the results with my GP. I went there immediately after and the GP said that this meant the baby had died. Since there was no pain/bleeding/or anything to show this had occurred, I was diagnosed with a "missed miscarriage" or missed abortion which is how the hospital described it.

I was in shock and could not think how to tell my husband.

Since then, I have been several times to the hospital (not the one I had the first ultrasound at) to discuss options with emergency, and the OBGYN. I had another internal ultrasound just to confirm, for my own peace of mind, that there definitely was no heartbeat. This time it was with a much more sympathetic sonogram woman, who gave me some ultrasound pictures for us to keep.

On Friday we went in early and at around midday I had a D and C. The hospital was incredibly helpful in so many ways and made a hideous situation easier to bear.

The thing that I'm sure you have realised by now is just how common this is.....but you don't know this when it is your first pregnancy!!! I was amazed in my reading and discussion with doctors since then to find out just how common.

In answer to your question, my doctor (senior registrar in OB GYN at a large hospital) said it was fine to try once you had a period after the D and C. She said technically there was no reason why one shouldn't try immediately other than 1/ a normal period will help make sure all tissue and clots have passed and 2/ it will make it easier to date the next pregnancy.

This has been one of the most terrible times of my life and I'm sure it is the same for you. One can only fall back on the old cliche of that which does not kill us makes us stronger and it is important to be strong in life. My husband has been very supportive in the midst of his own grief and makes me realise how blessed I am in so many ways, just not in the baby way just yet. This has made us realise just how much we did want a baby (we had not been trying, had gotten pregnant whilst using the Pill). Yes our first reaction was "we just want to be pregnant again". Time will tell just how quickly/slowly our wish is granted.

I would love to hear more from you and hope you are feeling better day by day. I was really amazed how similar our stories were, but I repeat now we both know just how common this sad situation is.

Best of Luck
XXX Katharine

[kiara]

I had a D&C on the morning I reached 12 weeks. I felt so alone at the time as I didn't have a partner but this was made better by my every so supportive family.

I feel for anyone who has had a miscarriage. It came as a big realisation to me that people feel sorry for you but never quite understand what to say. My mum was there for me and when my close friend A miscarrried twins she couldn't speak to her mum about how she felt as she had never been through one. I sat on the phone to her for 2 hours with her and I crying. I was telling her to be brave. It hurts both physically and emotionally and I feel your pain. A lost her twins 3 days before my miscarried baby would have been due.

I hope you are all coping well. My heart goes out to you all

[PJO27]

Hi Katharine and Kiara

I haven't visited this site in a few weeks I can't believe my thread came up again.

Firstly I want to say how sorry I am for your loss, it is just awful. It's one of those things where no-one really knows what to say or do to comfort you, and there's probably not a lot anyone can do. Accepting my baby's loss as a death, just like as if it had been someone who had been living for years, has helped me alot and allowed me to grieve and I appreciate how many of my friends and family have treated it the same way.

It is truly something we'll never forget, but time does make the pain a little easier to deal with. I still get a few tears for no apparant reason at times, but the breaks in between are becoming longer. I too have pictures of my baby, and I still look at them pretty much every day. I think I might get a little box to put them in and keep the safe.

Well it's six weeks since I had the D&C now, and have woken up this morning with the return of my period.

I feel good knowing that my body is now back to normal and that we can start trying for a baby again soon.

Over the last couple of weeks my feelings have changed from sadness to more anger and sometimes even feeling a bit bitter towards some women who are at the 15-16 week mark which is where I would be now. It sounds ridiculous but with all these celeb's like Britney Spears and Bec Cartwright expecting around the time I would have been it just makes me so mad. I shouldn't be so awful, how am I to know that they haven't been through this themselves at some point, and even if they haven't, who am I to have any anger towards them?

Anyway, I have my SIL's wedding this weekend (I am bridesmaid) and then DH and I fly off to QLD for 7 days and nights to just relax. I am hoping the holiday will do us both good, and who know's it just might be our turn again soon.

I hope you are getting the support you need, take the time to grieve. We will all get our turn some day I'm sure, and I agree these things make us stronger, things do happen for a reason, no matter how awful and painful they seem at the time.

Love prue.

[willsmum]

When I miscarried the second time, three of my close friends announced they were pregnant shortly afterwards. It was absolutely horrible clocking up their milestones knowing I should have been sharing them too. And yes, I was extremely cross at them (how I thought it was their fault I have no idea). What did help was that by the time they delivered, I was pregnant again and had my 12 weeks scan confirming all was OK.

If there is a (slightly) bright side to what happened to you, at least you know that you can actually get pregnant, so that takes some of the stress away from trying to conceive again.

Take care.

[kiara]

Hi Prue,

I know where your coming from with the bitterness. I felt awful when my sister's friend L miscarried at 6 wks. (We were both at 6 wks) then 6 wks later I miscarried. L then fell pregnant again soon after. Everytime my sister would come home and talk about L and her pregnancy I would get this bitterness over me thinking "that should be me". My heart sunk and broke when I finally saw her pregnant at about 7months. I suppose that it is just all the hormones that are still running around in your body making you feel every emtion there is all in a moment.

I'm glad your body is back to normal. I hope everything works out for you. Enjoy your holiday!!

:)

[Ami74]

I had the same experience last January...It was 9 weeks. During the scan Dr said..The foetus didnt grow inside the sack. It's been a terrible disastarous experience...What's the chance of getting pregnant after this?

[nuddle]

just wanted to say sorry to everyone that has had to go through this. I have had a few miscarriages, two of which were twins, and had to have d&c's at 9 and 11 weeks... its hard, and years later still something that I will never forget, but I had a healthy pg afterwards, and have my son, so there is hope...

good luck to everyone

[Babydancinglikemad]

Nuddle i see your signature all the time on other threads, and everytime i get tears for you. 6 babies is big heartache and more than anyone should have to go through in their time, i wish women never went through lossing one, let alone 6. So i guess i just wanted to say to you and all the women on this thread..... :hugs: and :kiss: and :fingerscrossed: that everything works out the way you want it to.

[nuddle]

Nuddle i see your signature all the time on other threads, and everytime i get tears for you. 6 babies is big heartache and more than anyone should have to go through in their time, i wish women never went through lossing one, let alone 6. So i guess i just wanted to say to you and all the women on this thread..... :hugs: and :kiss: and :fingerscrossed: that everything works out the way you want it to.

thank you, that is very kind of you... at least though for me, they found what the problem was, which was easily fixed... just hoping it will help again with the next pg, dont want to go through that again.

[OopsieDaisy]

We tried right away..... just follow your heart.