Why do they seem so uninterested?

[EmsMum72]

Why do these men in our lives who love us SO much seem so uninterested in something so important to us at times?? Do they seem uninterested because they don't want to get their hopes up, because they can't even imagine caring for a baby until they can feel it kick in our tummies or until it's born and they can become more involved?? Or are they just physically incapable of caring about the whole TTC journey, and happy to go with the old 'she'll be right mate' saying and if it happens it happens, if it doesn't it doesn't? :rolleyes: :confused:

My DH has been pretty good lately but we've had talks and agreed to stop TTC so hard. I will still be aware of when good times to 'do it' are and all that, but just won't keep him in the loop because he was finding that me talking about it ALL the time was stressing him out! :hair:

Friends of mine were asking this question this morning! They are TTC and everytime they mention something TTC related their DH's freeze up and it's like they have forgotten how to communicate :laughing: (mine does this regularly too). They (men) can be very strange creatures at times can't they??

[Angelmist♥]

Hmm, I asked my DH those very questions when we were TTC! Apparently in his mind he can't really do much about it IYKWIM. They have no control over the situation, they don't get to feel being pregnant so it's not so much a big deal to them.

I mean it is but it's not :laughing: IYKWIM! They're excited about maybe having a baby but don't understand the times/temps/DPO's :laughing:.

[punkbaby]

I am not sure but my hubby said that the reality of having another baby doesnt kick in till its born he said as he didnt feel the bubs move inside him etc or experience the whole pregnancy thing its hard for him to actually take on board till he holds that baby in his arms :)

[luckymama]

yep i think its cos they dont see "anything" so to speak. They cant really get involved or anything.

My DH was exactly the same the whole time of TTC (14 months) and its only now at nearly 34 weeks pregnant that he is getting excited and interested in whats going on.
Dont worry he will get interested soon enough :hugs:

[SpaghettiMummy]

My friend and I were talking in the TTC acronyms so as to leave our DH's out of the loop so they aren't stressed. As far as my DH was concerned we were trying but in his mind we were more so not preventing anything from happening for a bit as it would have been too stressful for him to be "performance" orientated. It totally kills the romance to know you HAVE to do it these nights. I wasn't temping but I was paying attention to all the other stuff inc doing OPK.

Funnily enough I found it too consuming and went with him on we're just enjoying ourselves and not preventing in the mean time...

oh and seeing as you know your signs make sure you don't just BD at that time of the month but make every time special for you both.

[wantabub]

I know what I am about to say will sound stupid, but try to understand (then we maybe only just be able to understand a mans brain)

No this is going to sound absurd with the references but here I go

You're a lioness, his the king of the jungle lion, he is the one who takes down the prey (makes the money in human terms) and he goes out hunting. The lioness's job is to help with the hunting but primarily is to take care of the cubs and look after the den.

The lion will mate with the lioness, then he will go out and mark his territory, he then has no significant role except to hunt, kill and feed (and feed you) the lioness will sit in the den and relax until cubs are born.

Once cubs arrive, the lioness's job is to care for, teach and feed cubs, the lion will go and find more food

Lion doesn't want to show too much affection - his the king of the jungle and doesn't want others (other lions and other animals) to think he is a softy

Ok, so it may sound stupid, but I don't think that it is in a man's gene's to worry about, set hopes etc, it is just the way they are

*runs and hides under lounge*

[xpectant]

I know some males are good in this area - but I think for most it's the whole - having no control! They can't control if we fall pregnant - or if the baby sticks - they are helpless & they don't like that feeling.

[nicoleE]

I would be surprised if anyones partner really reacted the same way through the whole TTC process as they did...

Really I think it is impossible for a man to feel the things we do when TTC.. we go through allot emotionally and physically, i think it is... well.. a bit closer to us than them IYKWIM. We live with it every day when TTC and while they do to they are not reminded of it every time they go to the toilet hoping they dont see signs of AF arriving, saving that morning pee until a HPT can be done, with fertility treatment they dont take the tablets or injections or have all the blood tests, even if they are there physically i dont see how they could emotionally on the same level. Of course they will have their own emotional ride but i dont think it is the same.
I know with me I want to educate myself on TTC, fertility etc which is natural for me, DH goes with the flow and knows Im 'on the case' so to speak so felt like there was nothing he could do....
And we all know men... sometimes they just dont know what to say.. what would help when we think things are helpless at that moment in time.

bless them.. :hugs: